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It's Never Too Late...!

relationship change follow your heart

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#1 Mika

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Posted 25 December 2015 - 04:46 AM

Hi! I haven't been around here for a long time! I remember fondly all the time I spent here, and this forum made a good difference in my life when I needed it.

At this time of year, I tend to reflect on the year(s) past, and think about what I’m thankful for and try to put bad memories to rest. I have a little story to share, and those who remember me, know I tend to write a bit too much, haha! So, here goes!

Several years ago, I was feeling a bit dissatisfied with my long-term relationship with my boyfriend, Mark. We weren’t connecting as much anymore, and we didn’t share some things that were important to me, such as music. He was spending most of his evenings hanging out with his sister, leaving me on my own (I didn’t partake in their favourite pastime of smoking up and watching youtube videos). I started reaching out for something to put some emotional energy into, because I was getting so frustrated with the lack of companionship with my boyfriend. This is how I got heavily into Rush.

I dove head-first into Rush, devouring as much as I could, listening to all of their songs (there were so many I hadn’t heard previously!) and watching all their dvd’s, and going to see them live a few times. Rush resonated strongly with me, with their high musicianship and great songs and intelligent lyrics, and mostly the guys’ affable personalities. Rush filled a bit of a void that I had, and I will always look back fondly on my Rush-a-thon. I got something I needed from them, and was satisfied.

Two years ago, my boyfriend and I went on a cruise for my brother’s wedding (he married on the ship), though Mark and I were going through a bit of a rough patch. I befriended this awesome band on the ship, while Mark preferred to spend his time in our cabin, watching movies. He would join me sometimes for watching the band, but he would always retreat to the room, saying the music was ‘too loud’. It just wasn’t his thing. But I loved the band – they were great players and such nice guys! I instantly felt comfortable around them, and felt bereft when we left the ship.

The band became my ‘new’ Rush – I’d recorded their music from all the nights they played, and I worked to make mp3s of all their songs to listen to. My gut told me there was something special about the band. I kept in touch with the band guys, and started making plans to see them again, on another cruise. When I found a great cruise deal, I jumped on it, and went on an Alaskan cruise last year, without Mark, as he wasn’t interested in travelling again.

It was so good to see the band again! We had a good time together. It was weird to have a break away from Mark, too, and I got thinking more about our incompatibilities and how I wasn’t happy with him. I was feeling more happiness being with the band guys than with Mark. I was feeling more strongly that we shouldn’t be together.

I came home to a dirty, messy house, since for the past week Mark and his sister hadn’t cleaned up their garbage or dirty dishes. I was disheartened, seeing the gross state of the living room. I hated how messy they were. I hated how they always smelled like weed, a smell that makes me a bit nauseous. I hated how Mark spent so much time with his sister, watching TV, leaving me on my own, and I’d long since stopped trying to nudge him to spend more time with me; I no longer cared.

I was realizing more and more that we shouldn’t be together, that I should break up with Mark. But I was reluctant... how could I end a 10-year relationship? But I was becoming more and more unhappy over the past few years, and I realized I wasn’t in love with him anymore, and I was fighting with the thought that I shouldn’t be with someone I didn’t love, and that it wasn’t fair to him, either. But I still didn’t have the nerve or courage to end things.

Then I started talking with the son of the cruise ship band’s guitarist. He had seen a band video I’d uploaded online, and we started chatting, and we quickly became friends. When Mark would hang out with his sister, this guy and I would chat about music and life and culture and a lot of stuff, for hours. We had an instant rapport, and it was simply platonic. After a few months we started talking about my situation with Mark, and at first he was trying to advise how to fix it, then realized it maybe shouldn’t be fixed and advised me to end it, especially since I admitted I wasn’t in love with him anymore. He was right (and my friends and family were saying the same thing), but I still just couldn’t do it. I didn’t want to hurt Mark, and I was a bit afraid of being alone – I couldn’t picture finding anyone else.

Just before Christmas last year, I finally broke up with Mark. It was one of the hardest things I’ve ever done, and it was awful and terrible, but I felt it was the right thing. He was so hurt, and I’ll never forget the nights he cried and asked what he’d done wrong, and I tried to explain it was just that we weren’t compatible and that he deserved to be with someone who embraced him for the things I didn’t (like his weed-smoking and constant TV-watching), but he was still hurt. He blamed the guy I’d been talking with, since I was open with Mark that I was talking with this guy. I felt awful. It took two awful months to finalize the break-up and split everything up between us, and Mark moved out. I was so stressed out and badly wanted to get away for a while, and was talking with my friend and his dad, the guitarist, about staying with them for a while, all the way in the Philippines. It was a great opportunity for me to get away for a while, clear my head, and then start on the next chapter of my life.

I ended up staying with them for three months, and became good friends with the son and we quickly fell in love. [And, this is a term I’d never thought I’d use – “fall in love” – but it’s what happened!] We got along so well, and were inseparable, and it felt so wonderful to feel so good with someone. I felt so lucky. It was very hard coming back home. And as for Mark, he quickly started dating one of his long-term girl friends, and is now living together with her, so he’s fine, which I’m glad for.

So, now the guy and I are involved in a distance relationship, and are figuring out how to be together in the future. He is a great guy, and I feel more love from him even though we’re thousands of miles apart than I did in the past several years with Mark. My heart is full, and I’m no longer yearning for something to help fill the void I had with Mark, which Rush helped to do.

So, this is the whole point of this story: it’s never too late to change something. If something doesn’t feel right, you’re not obligated to keep doing it. There are always excuses, like, “I’ve been with him for too long – I can’t break up with him after so many years!” or “I’ve always done it this way, why should I change now, even if a new way might be better?” If you’re in a toxic relationship, and your gut is telling you to leave, leave! Listen to that voice deep inside you.

My voice kept quietly nagging at me that I wasn’t happy with Mark, but I kept ignoring it. When I met the cruise ship band, I felt something special about them, like I had to have them in my life. If I hadn’t met that band, I wouldn’t have gotten very far with my ‘I-should-break-up’ revelation, and I wouldn’t have met the guitarist’s son, and I wouldn’t have been in the happy position I’m in now. I listened to my gut, and even though it was hard, I’m happy to be where I am now. It’s so freeing to be away from toxicity. Not that Mark was a bad guy – just that he wasn’t the right guy for me, and it was toxic for me to ignore that and keep pretending everything was ok.

It’s never too late to correct a mistake!!
Listen to your gut voice – if something tells you quietly that something is wrong, heed it!

Thank you to anyone who has braved through these many words to read my story. I hope it can just help or inspire anyone in a similar position, whether someone is with the wrong person or the wrong job or has a bad friendship or even a bad habit, like smoking or not eating enough healthy food.

And to quote another of my favourite Canadian rock trios: Follow your heart!

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#2 EagleMoon

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Posted 25 December 2015 - 05:37 AM

Nice to see you back around these parts again, Mika. Great story and so cool you were finally able to follow your heart. I hope you can figure out how to make it work in your long distance relationship. They're tough!

#3 x1yyz

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Posted 25 December 2015 - 11:52 AM

Hi Mika, welcome back!  And thank you for sharing your story.  It sounds great so far and I hope things between you and your guy continue to get better and better.

There are many parallels between your story and my own as well.  It is really hard to leave a decade-plus-long relationship, but at the same time, just because you've been together a long time doesn't mean you should stay together.  It's not that it's a case of "the grass is greener on the other side of the fence"--sometimes there's no grass at all on your side of the fence but there is a lush field on the other side.

Best of love to both of us in following our hearts.  :hug2:

#4 Mika

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Posted 29 December 2015 - 12:04 AM

View Postx1yyz, on 25 December 2015 - 11:52 AM, said:

Hi Mika, welcome back!  And thank you for sharing your story.  It sounds great so far and I hope things between you and your guy continue to get better and better.

There are many parallels between your story and my own as well.  It is really hard to leave a decade-plus-long relationship, but at the same time, just because you've been together a long time doesn't mean you should stay together.  It's not that it's a case of "the grass is greener on the other side of the fence"--sometimes there's no grass at all on your side of the fence but there is a lush field on the other side.

Best of love to both of us in following our hearts.  :hug2:

That's exactly it: "Just because you've been together a long time doesn't mean you should stay together." That's what I had to keep reminding myself until I listened. :P And now it feels like I'm surrounded by a lush, grassy field, with limitless horizons, instead of a small fenced-in field with limited possibilities. I can see a future now, and it's great! :D

#5 Boots

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Posted 29 December 2015 - 08:34 PM

I follow the advice of the book Brave New World: "ending is better than mending."  Because sometimes it is.  Sometimes it isn't. Some relationships (like mine) are so badly damaged that it isn't possible to fix them.  At most, you can only be friends and not much more. I've had 2 Marks in my life.  Both of them were visual artists who caused me endless grief.  There is no rule that applies to everyone.  When you watch the movie He's Just Not That Into You (spoiler alert), Gigi concludes in the final scene: "I'm the exception."

Edited by Boots, 29 December 2015 - 08:36 PM.


#6 HemiBeers

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Posted 30 December 2015 - 10:49 AM

I realize I'm stumbling into the Ladies room, but these situations work both ways. One of my best 5 life decisions was getting divorced from my first wife after 4 years. She found someone else and I was more than willing to cut the cord. Then she married him and he put up with this hot mess for 18 prime years of his life. It was like selling a lousy used car and someone comes by and pays you your full asking price. Sure! Take it!

#7 Segue Myles

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Posted 02 January 2016 - 10:01 AM

View Post2112FirstStreet, on 30 December 2015 - 10:49 AM, said:

I realize I'm stumbling into the Ladies room, but these situations work both ways. One of my best 5 life decisions was getting divorced from my first wife after 4 years. She found someone else and I was more than willing to cut the cord. Then she married him and he put up with this hot mess for 18 prime years of his life. It was like selling a lousy used car and someone comes by and pays you your full asking price. Sure! Take it!

I find it refreshing to read someone's experience in such an open and honest manner!

Hope you found happiness afterwards.

#8 andreww

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Posted 12 January 2016 - 10:55 AM

I'll be a little more honest. How would the group feel if I posted a story about how I went on vacation with my wife where I made a connection with a hot new girl who I proceeded to have an online relationship for the next year (under my wife's nose) before dumping her for the newer model? Great for me right?

Seriously, maybe if you took the energy that you were wasting on your new beau and put it in to your relationship with your old beau, things might have worked out. Essentially you were cheating on him. It may not have been sexually, but you were still cheating. I'm glad it worked out for you, but I'm sure your old boyfriends version of the events isn't quite so romantic.

#9 EagleMoon

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Posted 12 January 2016 - 11:47 AM

View Postandreww, on 12 January 2016 - 10:55 AM, said:

I'll be a little more honest. How would the group feel if I posted a story about how I went on vacation with my wife where I made a connection with a hot new girl who I proceeded to have an online relationship for the next year (under my wife's nose) before dumping her for the newer model? Great for me right?

Seriously, maybe if you took the energy that you were wasting on your new beau and put it in to your relationship with your old beau, things might have worked out. Essentially you were cheating on him. It may not have been sexually, but you were still cheating. I'm glad it worked out for you, but I'm sure your old boyfriends version of the events isn't quite so romantic.

It's not like they were married and it doesn't sound like they were very compatible in the first place. He definitely sounded like he wasn't putting any effort in to the relationship.

Edited by EagleMoon, 12 January 2016 - 11:48 AM.


#10 x1yyz

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Posted 12 January 2016 - 12:07 PM

View Postandreww, on 12 January 2016 - 10:55 AM, said:

I'll be a little more honest. How would the group feel if I posted a story about how I went on vacation with my wife where I made a connection with a hot new girl who I proceeded to have an online relationship for the next year (under my wife's nose) before dumping her for the newer model? Great for me right?

Seriously, maybe if you took the energy that you were wasting on your new beau and put it in to your relationship with your old beau, things might have worked out. Essentially you were cheating on him. It may not have been sexually, but you were still cheating. I'm glad it worked out for you, but I'm sure your old boyfriends version of the events isn't quite so romantic.

I agree, cheating doesn't have to be physical; it can be emotional.  And while I don't condone cheating or lying to one's partner, sometimes it does happen.  And sometimes it takes that for one to realize that they are, in fact, in the wrong relationship and they need to get out of it.

Speaking from experience, just because a person puts energy into an existing relationship it doesn't mean it will improve that relationship.  Just because a person is in an existing relationship doesn't mean it should persist.

#11 andreww

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Posted 12 January 2016 - 03:39 PM

View Postx1yyz, on 12 January 2016 - 12:07 PM, said:

View Postandreww, on 12 January 2016 - 10:55 AM, said:

I'll be a little more honest. How would the group feel if I posted a story about how I went on vacation with my wife where I made a connection with a hot new girl who I proceeded to have an online relationship for the next year (under my wife's nose) before dumping her for the newer model? Great for me right?

Seriously, maybe if you took the energy that you were wasting on your new beau and put it in to your relationship with your old beau, things might have worked out. Essentially you were cheating on him. It may not have been sexually, but you were still cheating. I'm glad it worked out for you, but I'm sure your old boyfriends version of the events isn't quite so romantic.

I agree, cheating doesn't have to be physical; it can be emotional.  And while I don't condone cheating or lying to one's partner, sometimes it does happen.  And sometimes it takes that for one to realize that they are, in fact, in the wrong relationship and they need to get out of it.

Speaking from experience, just because a person puts energy into an existing relationship it doesn't mean it will improve that relationship.  Just because a person is in an existing relationship doesn't mean it should persist.

I agree, but at the point where you are going to start cheating, either physically or emotionally, you should end it with your partner at the time. Actually makes it easier if you think about it. Which would you rather here?

"Honey, I love and respect you too much to cheat on you. Thats why I'm telling you now that its time to end it"

or

"Honey, for the last six months, while you have been faithful to you, I've been spending every free moment with somebody else".

But regardless, people cheat I get that. My problem is when a woman cheats and comes here and puts a bow on it, everybody's all "you go girl". If a man were to do the exact same thing the responses would certainly not be as kind.

It sucks to get dumped. Its crippling to get cheated on.

#12 andreww

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Posted 12 January 2016 - 03:42 PM

View PostEagleMoon, on 12 January 2016 - 11:47 AM, said:

View Postandreww, on 12 January 2016 - 10:55 AM, said:

I'll be a little more honest. How would the group feel if I posted a story about how I went on vacation with my wife where I made a connection with a hot new girl who I proceeded to have an online relationship for the next year (under my wife's nose) before dumping her for the newer model? Great for me right?

Seriously, maybe if you took the energy that you were wasting on your new beau and put it in to your relationship with your old beau, things might have worked out. Essentially you were cheating on him. It may not have been sexually, but you were still cheating. I'm glad it worked out for you, but I'm sure your old boyfriends version of the events isn't quite so romantic.

It's not like they were married and it doesn't sound like they were very compatible in the first place. He definitely sounded like he wasn't putting any effort in to the relationship.

They were obviously living together. But whatever, she's good on a technicality right? But FYI, being cheated on by a wife is just as painful as being cheated on by a girlfriend.

And if they weren't compatible and he wasn't putting any effort in to it, why not leave? Because if the other guy hadn't happened, the old boyfriend would probably have been good enough.

Edited by andreww, 12 January 2016 - 03:46 PM.


#13 x1yyz

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Posted 12 January 2016 - 08:28 PM

View Postandreww, on 12 January 2016 - 03:39 PM, said:

View Postx1yyz, on 12 January 2016 - 12:07 PM, said:

View Postandreww, on 12 January 2016 - 10:55 AM, said:

I'll be a little more honest. How would the group feel if I posted a story about how I went on vacation with my wife where I made a connection with a hot new girl who I proceeded to have an online relationship for the next year (under my wife's nose) before dumping her for the newer model? Great for me right?

Seriously, maybe if you took the energy that you were wasting on your new beau and put it in to your relationship with your old beau, things might have worked out. Essentially you were cheating on him. It may not have been sexually, but you were still cheating. I'm glad it worked out for you, but I'm sure your old boyfriends version of the events isn't quite so romantic.

I agree, cheating doesn't have to be physical; it can be emotional.  And while I don't condone cheating or lying to one's partner, sometimes it does happen.  And sometimes it takes that for one to realize that they are, in fact, in the wrong relationship and they need to get out of it.

Speaking from experience, just because a person puts energy into an existing relationship it doesn't mean it will improve that relationship.  Just because a person is in an existing relationship doesn't mean it should persist.

I agree, but at the point where you are going to start cheating, either physically or emotionally, you should end it with your partner at the time. Actually makes it easier if you think about it. Which would you rather here?

"Honey, I love and respect you too much to cheat on you. Thats why I'm telling you now that its time to end it"

or

"Honey, for the last six months, while you have been faithful to you, I've been spending every free moment with somebody else".

But regardless, people cheat I get that. My problem is when a woman cheats and comes here and puts a bow on it, everybody's all "you go girl". If a man were to do the exact same thing the responses would certainly not be as kind.

It sucks to get dumped. Its crippling to get cheated on.

Life isn't always as cut and dried as people would like it to be.  You don't always realize things as they happen, but instead in retrospect.  Sometimes you can't really make out a situation (or your own feelings) until time has passed, and only then is it the right time to take actions.

This isn't a male vs. female thing; this is real life.  Sadly it doesn't always work as smoothly as you wish it would.

#14 EagleMoon

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Posted 12 January 2016 - 08:56 PM

View Postandreww, on 12 January 2016 - 03:42 PM, said:

View PostEagleMoon, on 12 January 2016 - 11:47 AM, said:

View Postandreww, on 12 January 2016 - 10:55 AM, said:

I'll be a little more honest. How would the group feel if I posted a story about how I went on vacation with my wife where I made a connection with a hot new girl who I proceeded to have an online relationship for the next year (under my wife's nose) before dumping her for the newer model? Great for me right?

Seriously, maybe if you took the energy that you were wasting on your new beau and put it in to your relationship with your old beau, things might have worked out. Essentially you were cheating on him. It may not have been sexually, but you were still cheating. I'm glad it worked out for you, but I'm sure your old boyfriends version of the events isn't quite so romantic.

It's not like they were married and it doesn't sound like they were very compatible in the first place. He definitely sounded like he wasn't putting any effort in to the relationship.

They were obviously living together. But whatever, she's good on a technicality right? But FYI, being cheated on by a wife is just as painful as being cheated on by a girlfriend.

And if they weren't compatible and he wasn't putting any effort in to it, why not leave? Because if the other guy hadn't happened, the old boyfriend would probably have been good enough.

Good enough? Hard to say, but it definitely sounded like she wasn't happy.

#15 HemiBeers

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Posted 12 January 2016 - 11:20 PM

I guess it depends on the person, but I'm the type that I can't play both sides of the fence. Either I'm fully committed or I'm moving on. Some people can keep the relationship juggling act going on, but to me that's just confusing and dysfunctional. Even the relationship is working, on whatever level, then great. If not, move on. Life's too short and there's always better options that being with someone that makes you miserable, even if that means you're alone.

That being said, I do think that people put too much pressure on relationships. They have to have this Hollywood 'soul mate' relationship, which is mostly crap. Once you get beyond the initial fasination, it gets more real and you see how the relationship really works. If you get your 'soul mate' that's awesome. Just realize most people don't...so be more realistic with your expectations. Ask your grandparents if they think the other is their 'soulmate' and they'll probably laugh at you.

Compliments of Dr. Phil 'it ain't all about youuuuuuu'

God I hate that guy.

#16 Anthemic

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Posted 13 January 2016 - 10:05 AM

View Postx1yyz, on 12 January 2016 - 08:28 PM, said:

View Postandreww, on 12 January 2016 - 03:39 PM, said:

View Postx1yyz, on 12 January 2016 - 12:07 PM, said:

View Postandreww, on 12 January 2016 - 10:55 AM, said:

I'll be a little more honest. How would the group feel if I posted a story about how I went on vacation with my wife where I made a connection with a hot new girl who I proceeded to have an online relationship for the next year (under my wife's nose) before dumping her for the newer model? Great for me right?

Seriously, maybe if you took the energy that you were wasting on your new beau and put it in to your relationship with your old beau, things might have worked out. Essentially you were cheating on him. It may not have been sexually, but you were still cheating. I'm glad it worked out for you, but I'm sure your old boyfriends version of the events isn't quite so romantic.

I agree, cheating doesn't have to be physical; it can be emotional.  And while I don't condone cheating or lying to one's partner, sometimes it does happen.  And sometimes it takes that for one to realize that they are, in fact, in the wrong relationship and they need to get out of it.

Speaking from experience, just because a person puts energy into an existing relationship it doesn't mean it will improve that relationship.  Just because a person is in an existing relationship doesn't mean it should persist.

I agree, but at the point where you are going to start cheating, either physically or emotionally, you should end it with your partner at the time. Actually makes it easier if you think about it. Which would you rather here?

"Honey, I love and respect you too much to cheat on you. Thats why I'm telling you now that its time to end it"

or

"Honey, for the last six months, while you have been faithful to you, I've been spending every free moment with somebody else".

But regardless, people cheat I get that. My problem is when a woman cheats and comes here and puts a bow on it, everybody's all "you go girl". If a man were to do the exact same thing the responses would certainly not be as kind.

It sucks to get dumped. Its crippling to get cheated on.

Life isn't always as cut and dried as people would like it to be.  You don't always realize things as they happen, but instead in retrospect.  Sometimes you can't really make out a situation (or your own feelings) until time has passed, and only then is it the right time to take actions.

This isn't a male vs. female thing; this is real life.  Sadly it doesn't always work as smoothly as you wish it would.

he's not saying the whole situation is a male thing vs a female thing.  he's saying that if a man came in here and told exactly the same story as mika did, he would be condemned, not celebrated.  and he's absolutely right.  

i disagree with the whole "the old boyfriend would have been good enough" bit, but about the double standard, andreww is spot on.

#17 Boots

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Posted 22 October 2017 - 10:05 AM

I'm a traditional person.  I don't chase men.  I've never asked a guy out.  If a guy is really interested in you, then he will do whatever is in his power to be with you, unless he's a socially awkward person who listens to obscure progressive rock bands.  

I've decided to fill up my time with my book club, my yoga group, and a new church.  Someday when my life finally settles down, all the people at this forum who were mean to me will be a distant memory.

#18 RUSHHEAD666

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Posted 25 October 2017 - 12:52 AM

View PostBoots, on 29 December 2015 - 08:34 PM, said:

I follow the advice of the book Brave New World: "ending is better than mending."  Because sometimes it is.  Sometimes it isn't. Some relationships (like mine) are so badly damaged that it isn't possible to fix them.  At most, you can only be friends and not much more. I've had 2 Marks in my life.  Both of them were visual artists who caused me endless grief.  There is no rule that applies to everyone.  When you watch the movie He's Just Not That Into You (spoiler alert), Gigi concludes in the final scene: "I'm the exception."

It always goes both ways ladies.  I had one "Wendy" in my life.  21 years.  Two beautiful daughters.  "Ending is better than mending."

I will drink to that!

I am soooooo happy being single and free!

Perhaps "Love Will Find A Way" again someday!  YES!!

But for me right now the answer is NO!

Loving my freedom!!!

And to quote RUSH.... "you can't have your freedom for free!!"  Especially if you are the bread winner in a marriage!

But I will take it like a man.

Freedom and happiness is more important than money!

Chin up!

Good luck on your long distance relationship Mika!

I agree with Moon.

Long distance relationships are TOUGH!

"Tougher Than Leather"

Signed,

RUN DMC

Edited by RUSHHEAD666, 25 October 2017 - 12:53 AM.


#19 RUSHHEAD666

RUSHHEAD666

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Posted 25 October 2017 - 12:54 AM

But could it be "Too Late For Love?"  I'm almost 50!  


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#20 toscanobarga

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Posted 15 November 2017 - 05:41 PM

It’s never too late

I've been married for 25 years, happily, or so I thought.

Recently I met a Rush-loving lady (let’s call her “K”) 15 years my younger (I'm 55) and we connected in a manner like I have NEVER connected before with anyone. It was amazing, it was like one of those stupid Tom Hanks movies about completing each others' sentences, after 2 dates I was completely smitten and she was too. She knew the risks of getting involved with a married man and I knew the risks of cheating on my wife of 25 years and best friend of 27 years.

Of course, not being used to this, I got caught pretty quickly, was kicked out of the house. I wont get into detail but K had been put through the wringer by ex-husband and had become hardened to opening up about trusting men and exposing her true feelings, as she left my hotel room I hit my "Fear Pt IV" moment for the first time when I found out my kids were coming in from out of town and were threatening to disown me ("kids" being 28 and 24) so I flew. just as she was telling me she loved me I flew.

So of course being as smitten as I was I couldn't not contact K, and of course was busted again. She took me back into her life, and again I flew when it came to crunch time, this time my wife was the one pursuing me, wanting me to come back. Being the glutton that I am I couldn't stay away, I couldn't not be in contact, and this time I thought I was leaving for good.

Back I went, into her life, into her home, met her children, she opened up her life to me. By this time Divorce proceedings had started, Lawyers retained, children had disowned me. I went home to collect some stuff, and a note was left for me leaving the door open a crack to return. I read the note, collected my stuff, saw all the family photographs, my dogs, my home, and being the weak person I am decided to give it one last chance. I left her again.
I’m now back with my wife, Divorce is on hold but not cancelled yet. I have my home, my kids are coming back, I have my easy life, my dogs, everything is “normal”, well not quite. I’m under intense scrutiny at all times, every spare moment is taken up with “talking”, and frankly my thoughts are still primarily dominated by K. From a financial standpoint, from an “ease of life” standpoint, from every standpoint of “common sense” I should be with my wife. I’ve done the right thing. So why am I still in contact with K ? Why are the brightest spots in my days the ones I spend secretly talking to her ? I don’t know how this will end, I’ve chosen “mending” over “Ending”, time will tell if it’s the right call.
So, in keeping with the thread, “It’s never too late” (age wise) to find one’s soulmate.

And some here might say “It’s never too late” to do the right thing and follow your heart.

One of my favorite movie lines:

https://www.youtube....h?v=nXKeNKvl-J4





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