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#81 Narps

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Posted 18 August 2014 - 11:03 AM

Truth is folks who don't have children of their own will never understand the joy and difficultly of it all. Watching a friend or family members child for a period of time would never come close to duplicating it either. Little human beings that you and your spouse made with your dna and blood running through them is a major undertaking. I do understand folks being judgmental when observing folks parenting skills (or lack thereof). Its a tough job and there is no such thing as perfection. On the flip side I just hope that folks that don't want or really "like" children appreciate well behaved children also when they see them.....

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#82 troutman

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Posted 18 August 2014 - 11:11 AM

View PostNarpski, on 18 August 2014 - 11:03 AM, said:

Truth is folks who don't have children of their own will never understand the joy and difficultly of it all. Watching a friend or family members child for a period of time would never come close to duplicating it either. Little human beings that you and your spouse made with your dna and blood running through them is a major undertaking. I do understand folks being judgmental when observing folks parenting skills (or lack thereof). Its a tough job and there is no such thing as perfection. On the flip side I just hope that folks that don't want or really "like" children appreciate well behaved children also when they see them.....

I love kids,

Especially ones that are well behaved. It means the parents are doing their job. The sad thing is, it's rare these days with a lot of them. Back in the day, you knew when a deserving a** whoopin' was coming your way. Not so much in today's world.

#83 The Analog Grownup

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Posted 18 August 2014 - 11:17 AM

View PostNarpski, on 18 August 2014 - 11:03 AM, said:

Truth is folks who don't have children of their own will never understand the joy and difficultly of it all. Watching a friend or family members child for a period of time would never come close to duplicating it either. Little human beings that you and your spouse made with your dna and blood running through them is a major undertaking. I do understand folks being judgmental when observing folks parenting skills (or lack thereof). Its a tough job and there is no such thing as perfection. On the flip side I just hope that folks that don't want or really "like" children appreciate well behaved children also when they see them.....

I know I appreciate well parented kids. No doubt that being a parent can be difficult at times, but out there are parents who obviously don't give a damn, and it is those I'm mocking. Some say that no matter how much you prepare you can never be fully prepared for what it takes to be a parent. I believe that to be the truth.
I hope you take my posts for what they are: a lighthearted poking fun on my own expense also :)

#84 Narps

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Posted 18 August 2014 - 11:22 AM

View PostThe Analog Grownup, on 18 August 2014 - 11:17 AM, said:

View PostNarpski, on 18 August 2014 - 11:03 AM, said:

Truth is folks who don't have children of their own will never understand the joy and difficultly of it all. Watching a friend or family members child for a period of time would never come close to duplicating it either. Little human beings that you and your spouse made with your dna and blood running through them is a major undertaking. I do understand folks being judgmental when observing folks parenting skills (or lack thereof). Its a tough job and there is no such thing as perfection. On the flip side I just hope that folks that don't want or really "like" children appreciate well behaved children also when they see them.....

I know I appreciate well parented kids. No doubt that being a parent can be difficult at times, but out there are parents who obviously don't give a damn, and it is those I'm mocking.
I hope you take my posts for what they are: a lighSome say that no matter how much you prepare you can never be fully prepared for what it takes to be a parent. I believe that to be the truth.thearted poking fun on my own expense also :)
This is more true than you know. Its all good as far as the critique of folks parenting skills.... :)

#85 troutman

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Posted 18 August 2014 - 11:23 AM

View PostThe Analog Grownup, on 18 August 2014 - 11:17 AM, said:

View PostNarpski, on 18 August 2014 - 11:03 AM, said:

Truth is folks who don't have children of their own will never understand the joy and difficultly of it all. Watching a friend or family members child for a period of time would never come close to duplicating it either. Little human beings that you and your spouse made with your dna and blood running through them is a major undertaking. I do understand folks being judgmental when observing folks parenting skills (or lack thereof). Its a tough job and there is no such thing as perfection. On the flip side I just hope that folks that don't want or really "like" children appreciate well behaved children also when they see them.....

I know I appreciate well parented kids. No doubt that being a parent can be difficult at times, but out there are parents who obviously don't give a damn, and it is those I'm mocking. Some say that no matter how much you prepare you can never be fully prepared for what it takes to be a parent. I believe that to be the truth.
I hope you take my posts for what they are: a lighthearted poking fun on my own expense also :)

:goodone:

Both of you.

#86 Mara

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Posted 18 August 2014 - 11:37 AM

View PostThe Analog Grownup, on 18 August 2014 - 11:17 AM, said:

View PostNarpski, on 18 August 2014 - 11:03 AM, said:

Truth is folks who don't have children of their own will never understand the joy and difficultly of it all. Watching a friend or family members child for a period of time would never come close to duplicating it either. Little human beings that you and your spouse made with your dna and blood running through them is a major undertaking. I do understand folks being judgmental when observing folks parenting skills (or lack thereof). Its a tough job and there is no such thing as perfection. On the flip side I just hope that folks that don't want or really "like" children appreciate well behaved children also when they see them.....

I know I appreciate well parented kids. No doubt that being a parent can be difficult at times, but out there are parents who obviously don't give a damn, and it is those I'm mocking. Some say that no matter how much you prepare you can never be fully prepared for what it takes to be a parent. I believe that to be the truth.
I hope you take my posts for what they are: a lighthearted poking fun on my own expense also :)

I don't hesitate to step right up and tell someone how much I appreciate their well-behaved kids and the work that they (the parents) have put into teaching their kids manners.  That really puts a smile on a parent's face.
My office mate occasionally has to bring her three into the office for a few hours if the kids have a school day off and their dad (divorced parents and the best example of co-parenting I have EVER seen) can't take them.  She always apologizes and I tell her to quit it - her kids, ages 5-12, are better behaved than some of the ADULTS who work here.

#87 EagleMoon

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Posted 18 August 2014 - 12:46 PM

I never could figure out why parents think everyone else should babysit their children when they take them out in public. And with older kids they will drop them off at the mall fully expecting the mall employees to keep an eye out for them. It's shameful and negligent.

#88 x1yyz

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Posted 18 August 2014 - 01:57 PM

View PostNarpski, on 18 August 2014 - 11:03 AM, said:

Truth is folks who don't have children of their own will never understand the joy and difficultly of it all. Watching a friend or family members child for a period of time would never come close to duplicating it either. Little human beings that you and your spouse made with your dna and blood running through them is a major undertaking. I do understand folks being judgmental when observing folks parenting skills (or lack thereof). Its a tough job and there is no such thing as perfection. On the flip side I just hope that folks that don't want or really "like" children appreciate well behaved children also when they see them.....

Oh, I definitely appreciate well-behaved kids!  I understand that it is difficult to raise kids and I also understand that parents get used to the way their kids act up (and bite, wtf?) but that is no excuse to allow the kids to behave poorly, especially while out in public.

At the risk of sounding like an old person :codger: I know things are different now than when I was little.  Many/most kids are not very well-behaved and that is the parents' fault.  Yes, parents, I know you are busy, but if you don't have time to properly raise your kids maybe you shouldn't have them.  I am very happy that my close friends with kids have well-behaved ones (which is probably part of the reason why they are close friends and not distant acquaintances), and the biggest problems they have is trying to get the kid to stop looking at their iPad ;)

To you TRF folks with good kids: Thank you :cheers:

Edited by x1yyz, 18 August 2014 - 01:58 PM.


#89 Mara

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Posted 18 August 2014 - 03:18 PM

View PostThe Analog Grownup, on 18 August 2014 - 10:37 AM, said:

I too feel the need to punch the bad parents on the throat for populating this world with little monsters, the rest of us will spend the rest of our lives damage controlling. That's one of the reasons I shouldn't have kids at this moment; I'd become one of them. ;)

Oh I KNOW I would!

I dated a guy for three years who had a kid.  Manny was 8 when I started dating his dad (and OH SHIT HE IS 24 now - I feel so OLD).  Yep, he resented the hell out of me at first, but no one pushed it and he came around.

He respected me, strangely enough, even though I was pretty indulgent.  I used to pick him up early from his summer camp (with his dad's permission) and we'd go spend the afternoon at US Play, bowling and having our way with the video games.

One of the coolest things I remember was the day I was watching Manny (it was during winter break from school and I myself had time off).  One of his friends called and wanted him to go to his house down the street for the afternoon.  Manny thought about it for a few, then told his buddy, "no thanks.  My dad's girlfriend is here and we're playing Duke Nuke 'Em.  I'd rather just hang out here with her right now."  :)

#90 The Analog Grownup

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Posted 18 August 2014 - 03:46 PM

Ah yes, Duke Nuke 'Em. Loved that game. I found it hilarious that you could give the strippers money. Yeah I was a teen, what can I say? ;)

Also the bonus when you completed the game, anyone remember that? ;)

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#91 KennyLee

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Posted 18 August 2014 - 03:54 PM

Through all of the difficulties of raising a child there is absolutely nothing in the world like one of your kids coming up, giving you a big hug and saying a heart felt, "I love you ,dad!".

You can tell when they really mean it. Of all the things in my life I've ever experienced, this tops them all. People love their pets (and I've had a few when I was younger) but as much as they treat them like kids, they're pets. The may cuddle with you and get excited when you see them... not even close and I've experienced both.

People are basically decent (conventional wisdom would say) and I think people get a different kind of joy out of doing things for people who can't do for themselves, by teaching people a new skill they appreciate or making someone feel better when they're sad. By seeing that joyful look in their eyes when they do something they couldn't before. THAT to me is what makes parenting so amazing. For everyone? No. For me? Yes.

#92 Narps

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Posted 18 August 2014 - 03:59 PM

View PostKennyLee, on 18 August 2014 - 03:54 PM, said:

Through all of the difficulties of raising a child there is absolutely nothing in the world like one of your kids coming up, giving you a big hug and saying a heart felt, "I love you ,dad!".

You can tell when they really mean it. Of all the things in my life I've ever experienced, this tops them all. People love their pets (and I've had a few when I was younger) but as much as they treat them like kids, they're pets. The may cuddle with you and get excited when you see them... not even close and I've experienced both.

People are basically decent (conventional wisdom would say) and I think people get a different kind of joy out of doing things for people who can't do for themselves, by teaching people a new skill they appreciate or making someone feel better when they're sad. By seeing that joyful look in their eyes when they do something they couldn't before. THAT to me is what makes parenting so amazing. For everyone? No. For me? Yes.
Me too.... :codger: Wait till you get to see the finished product. You have a ways to go with your young ones. You will be so proud.... :yes:

#93 bluefox4000

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Posted 18 August 2014 - 04:29 PM

I was in a waiting room today next to 2 kids who would not sit down nor shut up.  Just re-enforced i'm making the right decision for me.  I'm doing just fine thank you, lol.

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#94 Mara

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Posted 18 August 2014 - 04:33 PM

Of course there is the flip side - what if you do your absolute best in raising your kid - fair and consistent discipline, time, unconditional love, guidance, etc. - and despite all that the offspring still grow up to be turds on legs?  It happens; I both know and know of really good parents who still love their kids but find themselves saying, "It's heartbreaking, we didn't raise him/her that way" as they're on their way to visit their 27 year old who's in prison for doing whatever.

The opposite also happens; I work with a girl whose family is an absolute textbook example of "white trash" (her words), right down to the sister who sold all of the siding off her trailer for dope money.  She's very open about her upbringing; I asked her once how she rose above that and she said, very matter-of-factly, "I just decided I wanted more out of life and that I was the only one who could make that happen.  The resources were there; it was just a matter of doing the work."

Edited by Mara, 18 August 2014 - 04:34 PM.


#95 Chicken hawk

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Posted 18 August 2014 - 06:05 PM

I couldn't have kids.....  that was very hard to accept.   I would have been a great mother.  Rethink your wish not to have kids.

#96 Janie

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Posted 18 August 2014 - 07:22 PM

View PostNarpski, on 18 August 2014 - 11:03 AM, said:

Truth is folks who don't have children of their own will never understand the joy and difficultly of it all. Watching a friend or family members child for a period of time would never come close to duplicating it either. Little human beings that you and your spouse made with your dna and blood running through them is a major undertaking. I do understand folks being judgmental when observing folks parenting skills (or lack thereof). Its a tough job and there is no such thing as perfection. On the flip side I just hope that folks that don't want or really "like" children appreciate well behaved children also when they see them.....
There is a lot of joy in parenthood but, as you mentioned, boy, can it be tough at times. I have two boys and they are the boys of all boys. I swear. I've had times when out grocery shopping and they've been at their most trying times. I've had moms (presumably) come pat me on the back or rub my back or just lend a sympathetic eye or even entertained my kids by just talking to them so I could have a moment to catch my breath. I'm sure there must have been a look on my face that stated, "I am purely exhausted at wrangling these two." On the flip side, I've had people come chase after me and grab me by the arm to say what a joy it is to see my two happy boys and how nice they are. I've had people approach me saying how much they appreciated my oldest saying, "Excuse me" when knowing he was in the path of someone else walking or how flabbergasted they were that my kids knew to ask to pet someone's dog first (without just running up and stroking said fur) and how they knew to hold their hand out first so puppy could sniff and then and only then with puppy's approval could they pet.

Parenting is a constant game of guess work. I think I'm doing something right but then again, I'm sure I should be setting up a therapy fund for them too! Just in case I'm messing something up.

And for the record, I believe having kids is such a personal choice. I hate seeing others interfere. Gotsta let people have the life they want to have. Kids or no kids. Just be happy with who you are and what you want to do in your life.

#97 Maverick

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Posted 18 August 2014 - 07:25 PM

View PostChicken hawk, on 18 August 2014 - 06:05 PM, said:

I couldn't have kids.....  that was very hard to accept.   I would have been a great mother.  Rethink your wish not to have kids.

Amen.

#98 Narps

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Posted 18 August 2014 - 07:26 PM

View PostJanie, on 18 August 2014 - 07:22 PM, said:

View PostNarpski, on 18 August 2014 - 11:03 AM, said:

Truth is folks who don't have children of their own will never understand the joy and difficultly of it all. Watching a friend or family members child for a period of time would never come close to duplicating it either. Little human beings that you and your spouse made with your dna and blood running through them is a major undertaking. I do understand folks being judgmental when observing folks parenting skills (or lack thereof). Its a tough job and there is no such thing as perfection. On the flip side I just hope that folks that don't want or really "like" children appreciate well behaved children also when they see them.....
There is a lot of joy in parenthood but, as you mentioned, boy, can it be tough at times. I have two boys and they are the boys of all boys. I swear. I've had times when out grocery shopping and they've been at their most trying times. I've had moms (presumably) come pat me on the back or rub my back or just lend a sympathetic eye or even entertained my kids by just talking to them so I could have a moment to catch my breath. I'm sure there must have been a look on my face that stated, "I am purely exhausted at wrangling these two." On the flip side, I've had people come chase after me and grab me by the arm to say what a joy it is to see my two happy boys and how nice they are. I've had people approach me saying how much they appreciated my oldest saying, "Excuse me" when knowing he was in the path of someone else walking or how flabbergasted they were that my kids knew to ask to pet someone's dog first (without just running up and stroking said fur) and how they knew to hold their hand out first so puppy could sniff and then and only then with puppy's approval could they pet.

Parenting is a constant game of guess work. I think I'm doing something right but then again, I'm sure I should be setting up a therapy fund for them too! Just in case I'm messing something up.

And for the record, I believe having kids is such a personal choice. I hate seeing others interfere. Gotsta let people have the life they want to have. Kids or no kids. Just be happy with who you are and what you want to do in your life.
Mine are 27 and 24 now and I couldn't be more proud of them. Sometimes I just sit back and say man I had something to do with that. When they are polite to folks and make smart decisions it just warms my heart..... :)

#99 Mara

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Posted 18 August 2014 - 07:31 PM

View PostDr. Sheldon Cooper, on 18 August 2014 - 07:25 PM, said:

View PostChicken hawk, on 18 August 2014 - 06:05 PM, said:

I couldn't have kids.....  that was very hard to accept.   I would have been a great mother.  Rethink your wish not to have kids.

Amen.

Really?  I mean, I feel for people who really, really want to be parents and nature won't cooperate.  But I don't get why that means someone else should consider changing their mind on having them when they really, really DON'T want a kid.

Edit - Chicken hawk - I'm really sorry you couldn't have children and I bet you'd have been an awesome mother.  The above wasn't meant to make you feel bad - I just don't see the connection, that's all.

Edited by Mara, 18 August 2014 - 07:36 PM.


#100 Janie

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Posted 18 August 2014 - 07:33 PM

So... reading through some of these posts for some reason made me think of some crazy things people say to parents. Example: A short while back, I was out with my two boys and someone said, "Wow, different dads!" My oldest looks exactly like me. My youngest looks exactly like my husband. Both children were fathered by the same man. The smartass in me really wanted to play off that comment but I played nice instead.

I was at the grocery store the other day and the checkout clerk said something about being pregnant to the... shall we say... "husky" woman she was helping. "Husky" was fast to say she wasn't pregnant. Wow. Just, wow.





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