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Deciding to be child-free

kids child-free

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#41 x1yyz

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Posted 12 August 2014 - 09:23 PM

View PostIntermolecular Reality, on 12 August 2014 - 08:06 PM, said:

I thought I never wanted children, or even wanted to marry, until I unexpectedly met the man who I sincerely believe is my soulmate. I will say, they certainly were worth the wait, and I am so glad I never committed suicide. I have attempted to end my life several times, actually, and the tragic loss of Robin Williams is proof that suicide isn’t the answer. You may believe your entire world has come crashing down before you, especially if you are already struggling with depression, or another health related obstacle. I have been there, many, many times. I promise you, this is not the end, but the beginning of a new chapter. I never would have met the love of my life, or finally attained another job. Who knows what the future holds, you know? I was just hired today, after searching for years. Best word of advice - don’t give up, no matter what. I thought my life would forever be a miserable existence, but I was terribly wrong. Anything can happen, right? I have no intention of changing the topic, but I wanted to share what was on my mind today.

I'm very glad to hear you're doing well!

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#42 troutman

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Posted 13 August 2014 - 12:28 AM

View PostThe Analog Grownup, on 12 August 2014 - 06:05 PM, said:

View Posttroutman, on 12 August 2014 - 05:48 PM, said:

View PostThe Analog Grownup, on 12 August 2014 - 05:36 PM, said:

View Posttroutman, on 12 August 2014 - 05:32 PM, said:

View PostThe Analog Grownup, on 12 August 2014 - 05:25 PM, said:

View Posttroutman, on 12 August 2014 - 03:07 PM, said:

View PostKennyLee, on 12 August 2014 - 02:57 PM, said:

I have no pets. People think I'm crazy because I don't want a dog.  :huh:

Good analogy, troutman.

Good man,

It takes a lot of responsibility to own pet. You made a wise choice. You have to really want one and be prepared to take care of it. The time, money involved. Same with children. It changes your whole life and you have to be committed to what you have decided to do.

I wouldn't even be able to have a pet. Think it's settled then, no kids for me :D

Why no pets/kids?

Is it where you live? Either way, at least your making a choice that is responsible.

Kids, because I have too much unsolved.
Dogs, because I'd have to feed them and walk them.

Posted Image

Edit: I love kids and animals, but I want my life to be about me and not them :)

Honest selfishness,

I love it!! :lol: :7up: :haz:

You need a little selfishness every now and then*

*I reserve the right to change my position along the way ;)

And it's a good thing,

Something that's needed more. Especially these days. :cool:

#43 Moonlit Dreamer

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Posted 13 August 2014 - 07:23 AM

View Postx1yyz, on 12 August 2014 - 09:23 PM, said:

I'm very glad to hear you're doing well!

Thank you! I hope that you have been well, too.

#44 RushBoingo

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Posted 14 August 2014 - 02:27 AM

The only part of me that wants to have a child is the part that wants to pick a name for it. For a long time I have known that I would not want kids. I think the turning point was seeing my little brother (he is almost 9) growing up and watching him being raised. I realised that raising a kid for me would be a political nightmare. I have always said to myself that a lot of kids are too censored, and by keeping them from adult things for too long leads to them being exposed to it the wrong way, so I would always think to myself to any other parent, hey loosen up. But when it comes to these situations with my little brother, half of me wants him to have the loosened reigns that I did not get myself, but the other half makes me want to keep him innocent. Raising my own kids would be scary, how independent do I let them be, do I try to be strict to show them the way to an easier life, or let them be more free and creative at what risks. All in all it is not a decision I want to make.

Meanwhile seeing how much sacrifice my dad and step mom put into my little brother is admirable, but also something I do not want to participate in. I have a certain lifestyle I want to live, and it cannot co-exist with raising a child.

Finally certain things young kids do can drive me crazy. It's mainly imagination. I'm am not against imagining up fun things to do, and sometimes I am all for it, but others I am just not in the mood. When I get home from work and my little brother has says I have to save the lego ship from destruction before I can move along, I am simply in no mood, but if he immediately asked to play video games, I am more likely all for it.

There are all these other little nuances that say no kid for me, but the main thing is that having a little brother half my age almost feels like raising a kid just by watching my parents deal with him, as well as the numerous times they have pilled spontaneous babysitting jobs on me ("I am taking the dogs out for a walk can you watch Nathaniel" says my step mom as she walks out the door, what! am I really going to say no).

A lot of people give me odd stares when I say that I never want kids because I am so good with them (and all of my part time jobs have involved dealing with children). Truth is (besides the fact that I am a kid at heart) that I have become an expert at handling kids so that they will not annoy me.

If I ever were to accidentally have a child, I would opt for the abortion, however of course, that is not my decision, and should I have a child from that, I will embrace raising it as best I can, and hope that I will still have the drive to the other goals in my life at it's adulthood.

#45 Mara

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Posted 14 August 2014 - 03:46 PM

What drives me crazy are people who say, "But you were once a child too.  Lucky for you they wanted children!"  Absolutely zero logic in that.  As if I'm going to smack my forehead and say, "You know, you are absolutely right!  How silly of me to think I don't want to spit out some crotch fruit of my own!"

#46 YYZumbi

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Posted 14 August 2014 - 03:47 PM

I am that kinda guy that hate kids, I just get angry and annoyed when I am around them.

All they do is screaming and fighting and destroy.

So no kids for me, thanks!

#47 troutman

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Posted 14 August 2014 - 04:34 PM

View PostMara, on 14 August 2014 - 03:46 PM, said:

What drives me crazy are people who say, "But you were once a child too.  Lucky for you they wanted children!"  Absolutely zero logic in that.  As if I'm going to smack my forehead and say, "You know, you are absolutely right!  How silly of me to think I don't want to spit out some crotch fruit of my own!"

is that some sort of fruit salad? :P

#48 troutman

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Posted 14 August 2014 - 04:37 PM

View PostYYZumbi, on 14 August 2014 - 03:47 PM, said:

I am that kinda guy that hate kids, I just get angry and annoyed when I am around them.

All they do is screaming and fighting and destroy.

So no kids for me, thanks!

Hate is a strong word concerning children,

I understand not wanting any. I myself can be impatient if they are around me all the time. I love children, but it's not my thing 24/7. BTW, I hand out doughnuts to them in the hood all the time. :D

#49 YYZumbi

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Posted 14 August 2014 - 04:40 PM

View Posttroutman, on 14 August 2014 - 04:37 PM, said:

View PostYYZumbi, on 14 August 2014 - 03:47 PM, said:

I am that kinda guy that hate kids, I just get angry and annoyed when I am around them.

All they do is screaming and fighting and destroy.

So no kids for me, thanks!

Hate is a strong word concerning children,

I understand not wanting any. I myself can be impatient if they are around me all the time. I love children, but it's not my thing 24/7. BTW, I hand out doughnuts to them in the hood all the time. :D

Well it is the truth. If I hear a kid scream on the bus, and destroy my music-time, then I get so angry that I close my fist really hard..

#50 The Analog Grownup

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Posted 14 August 2014 - 04:48 PM

View PostYYZumbi, on 14 August 2014 - 04:40 PM, said:

View Posttroutman, on 14 August 2014 - 04:37 PM, said:

View PostYYZumbi, on 14 August 2014 - 03:47 PM, said:

I am that kinda guy that hate kids, I just get angry and annoyed when I am around them.

All they do is screaming and fighting and destroy.

So no kids for me, thanks!

Hate is a strong word concerning children,

I understand not wanting any. I myself can be impatient if they are around me all the time. I love children, but it's not my thing 24/7. BTW, I hand out doughnuts to them in the hood all the time. :D

Well it is the truth. If I hear a kid scream on the bus, and destroy my music-time, then I get so angry that I close my fist really hard..

Breathe in ... exhale ... breathe in ... exhale ... repeat

:P

#51 YYZumbi

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Posted 14 August 2014 - 04:49 PM

View PostThe Analog Grownup, on 14 August 2014 - 04:48 PM, said:

View PostYYZumbi, on 14 August 2014 - 04:40 PM, said:

View Posttroutman, on 14 August 2014 - 04:37 PM, said:

View PostYYZumbi, on 14 August 2014 - 03:47 PM, said:

I am that kinda guy that hate kids, I just get angry and annoyed when I am around them.

All they do is screaming and fighting and destroy.

So no kids for me, thanks!

Hate is a strong word concerning children,

I understand not wanting any. I myself can be impatient if they are around me all the time. I love children, but it's not my thing 24/7. BTW, I hand out doughnuts to them in the hood all the time. :D

Well it is the truth. If I hear a kid scream on the bus, and destroy my music-time, then I get so angry that I close my fist really hard..

Breathe in ... exhale ... breathe in ... exhale ... repeat

:P

Trust me, I have tryed that many times... dosent work..

#52 JARG

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Posted 14 August 2014 - 04:58 PM

View Postx1yyz, on 11 August 2014 - 07:26 PM, said:

Have you chosen to not have children?  (This goes for men as well as women, since it takes two to tango.)  If so, how old were you when you made that choice?
I made that choice in my early 20s...by my late 30s, I'd changed my mind. It was the right choice (both times) for me.

#53 YYZumbi

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Posted 14 August 2014 - 05:00 PM

instead of kids, Im gonna get dogs! They are muuch nicer! :D

#54 edhunter

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Posted 14 August 2014 - 05:12 PM

The need for therapy is strong in this thread.

#55 YYZumbi

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Posted 14 August 2014 - 05:16 PM

View Postedhunter, on 14 August 2014 - 05:12 PM, said:

The need for therapy is strong in this thread.

What you mean by that?

#56 edhunter

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Posted 14 August 2014 - 05:20 PM

View PostYYZumbi, on 14 August 2014 - 05:16 PM, said:

View Postedhunter, on 14 August 2014 - 05:12 PM, said:

The need for therapy is strong in this thread.

What you mean by that?

Regardless of peoples' choices to have or not to have kids, a lot of issues are being brought out by various posters. Whether it's deep seeded regret, anger, remorse etc.  If this were an in-person chat session a psychologist would run out of business cards.

#57 YYZumbi

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Posted 14 August 2014 - 05:23 PM

View Postedhunter, on 14 August 2014 - 05:20 PM, said:

View PostYYZumbi, on 14 August 2014 - 05:16 PM, said:

View Postedhunter, on 14 August 2014 - 05:12 PM, said:

The need for therapy is strong in this thread.

What you mean by that?

Regardless of peoples' choices to have or not to have kids, a lot of issues are being brought out by various posters. Whether it's deep seeded regret, anger, remorse etc.  If this were an in-person chat session a psychologist would run out of business cards.

haha allright, well I got my reasons why I hate kids..

#58 Narps

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Posted 14 August 2014 - 05:28 PM

View PostYYZumbi, on 14 August 2014 - 04:40 PM, said:

View Posttroutman, on 14 August 2014 - 04:37 PM, said:

View PostYYZumbi, on 14 August 2014 - 03:47 PM, said:

I am that kinda guy that hate kids, I just get angry and annoyed when I am around them.

All they do is screaming and fighting and destroy.

So no kids for me, thanks!

Hate is a strong word concerning children,

I understand not wanting any. I myself can be impatient if they are around me all the time. I love children, but it's not my thing 24/7. BTW, I hand out doughnuts to them in the hood all the time. :D

Well it is the truth. If I hear a kid scream on the bus, and destroy my music-time, then I get so angry that I close my fist really hard..
Ativan? or 2...... :eh:

#59 edhunter

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Posted 14 August 2014 - 05:28 PM

View PostYYZumbi, on 14 August 2014 - 05:23 PM, said:

View Postedhunter, on 14 August 2014 - 05:20 PM, said:

View PostYYZumbi, on 14 August 2014 - 05:16 PM, said:

View Postedhunter, on 14 August 2014 - 05:12 PM, said:

The need for therapy is strong in this thread.

What you mean by that?

Regardless of peoples' choices to have or not to have kids, a lot of issues are being brought out by various posters. Whether it's deep seeded regret, anger, remorse etc.  If this were an in-person chat session a psychologist would run out of business cards.

haha allright, well I got my reasons why I hate kids..

Is it the kids you hate, or is it lousy parenting that bugs you more?

#60 YYZumbi

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Posted 14 August 2014 - 05:36 PM

View Postedhunter, on 14 August 2014 - 05:28 PM, said:

View PostYYZumbi, on 14 August 2014 - 05:23 PM, said:

View Postedhunter, on 14 August 2014 - 05:20 PM, said:

View PostYYZumbi, on 14 August 2014 - 05:16 PM, said:

View Postedhunter, on 14 August 2014 - 05:12 PM, said:

The need for therapy is strong in this thread.

What you mean by that?

Regardless of peoples' choices to have or not to have kids, a lot of issues are being brought out by various posters. Whether it's deep seeded regret, anger, remorse etc.  If this were an in-person chat session a psychologist would run out of business cards.

haha allright, well I got my reasons why I hate kids..

Is it the kids you hate, or is it lousy parenting that bugs you more?

Well its the screaming, and fighting and the way they are running around that I hate. Why can they not just sit down and shut up?





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