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Forgive Me. But I Must.


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#1 GeddysMullet

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Posted 02 May 2014 - 05:29 PM

This is just too funny not to post:

http://www.alternet....t-have?page=0,0

Sponsored Post

#2 ThatLightInYourEyes

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Posted 02 May 2014 - 05:31 PM

"The d**k in question was average-sized and named Obama, because when I procured it, even though I hadn’t had sex in a while, I still had the audacity to hope." :facepalm: :o :scared:

#3 gangsterfurious

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Posted 02 May 2014 - 06:05 PM

Slapping? My husband would KILL me and have me arrested for domestic abuse if I slapped any sensitive area. lol

#4 umoveme

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Posted 02 May 2014 - 06:08 PM

The doughnut hole is too small, no??

#5 gangsterfurious

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Posted 02 May 2014 - 06:08 PM

“Because you’re turned on or because you want a donut?"

#6 gangsterfurious

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Posted 02 May 2014 - 06:17 PM

View Postumoveme, on 02 May 2014 - 06:08 PM, said:

The doughnut hole is too small, no??

You'd hope so.

#7 Rushchick10

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Posted 02 May 2014 - 06:20 PM

View Postgangsterfurious, on 02 May 2014 - 06:08 PM, said:

“Because you’re turned on or because you want a donut?"

This whole article made me giggle, but THAT right there made me roar with laughter!  :lol:

#8 gangsterfurious

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Posted 02 May 2014 - 06:22 PM

View PostRushchick10, on 02 May 2014 - 06:20 PM, said:

View Postgangsterfurious, on 02 May 2014 - 06:08 PM, said:

“Because you’re turned on or because you want a donut?"

This whole article made me giggle, but THAT right there made me roar with laughter!  :lol:

Well, to quote your quote....

"I wonder who invented donuts? I dunno, probably, probably some genius." - Geddy Lee

Hence the reason I'm kind of dying laughing over here.

#9 gangsterfurious

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Posted 02 May 2014 - 06:32 PM

“Press a fork (firmly, but don’t break the skin or anything) into different parts of his body—his butt cheeks, his pecs, his thighs.”

WHO DOES THIS?! And why do we have to be told not to break the skin? This is one of the funniest things I've read in such a long time.

#10 Maverick

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Posted 02 May 2014 - 07:01 PM

Posted Image

#11 Tombstone Mountain

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Posted 02 May 2014 - 07:32 PM

My wife and I are eating at a Japanese steakhouse reading this and laughing our asses off. Thanks GM

#12 gangsterfurious

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Posted 02 May 2014 - 07:38 PM

View PostTombstone Mountain, on 02 May 2014 - 07:32 PM, said:

My wife and I are eating at a Japanese steakhouse reading this and laughing our asses off. Thanks GM

Are there any forks or donuts?

#13 gangsterfurious

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Posted 02 May 2014 - 07:39 PM

"take a hot poker and gently press it against your lover's backside..."

#14 gangsterfurious

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Posted 02 May 2014 - 07:40 PM

"Pour some teriyaki sauce on their ass once you start to smell flesh sizzling. Ask them if they are getting turned on."

#15 Chronos

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Posted 02 May 2014 - 07:43 PM

Dafuq?

#16 Tombstone Mountain

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Posted 02 May 2014 - 08:00 PM

View Postgangsterfurious, on 02 May 2014 - 07:38 PM, said:

View PostTombstone Mountain, on 02 May 2014 - 07:32 PM, said:

My wife and I are eating at a Japanese steakhouse reading this and laughing our asses off. Thanks GM

Are there any forks or donuts?
forks yes. Crab rangoon yes. Donuts no.

#17 gangsterfurious

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Posted 02 May 2014 - 08:04 PM

View PostTombstone Mountain, on 02 May 2014 - 08:00 PM, said:

View Postgangsterfurious, on 02 May 2014 - 07:38 PM, said:

View PostTombstone Mountain, on 02 May 2014 - 07:32 PM, said:

My wife and I are eating at a Japanese steakhouse reading this and laughing our asses off. Thanks GM

Are there any forks or donuts?
forks yes. Crab rangoon yes. Donuts no.

Well just wait for the crab rangoon to cool down before you try anything.

Edited by gangsterfurious, 02 May 2014 - 08:04 PM.


#18 Tombstone Mountain

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Posted 02 May 2014 - 08:15 PM

View Postgangsterfurious, on 02 May 2014 - 08:04 PM, said:

View PostTombstone Mountain, on 02 May 2014 - 08:00 PM, said:

View Postgangsterfurious, on 02 May 2014 - 07:38 PM, said:

View PostTombstone Mountain, on 02 May 2014 - 07:32 PM, said:

My wife and I are eating at a Japanese steakhouse reading this and laughing our asses off. Thanks GM

Are there any forks or donuts?
forks yes. Crab rangoon yes. Donuts no.

Well just wait for the crab rangoon to cool down before you try anything.
Too late...burned my tongue and actually had to spit it on a plate. Freakin' lava

#19 Rushchick10

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Posted 02 May 2014 - 08:45 PM

View Postgangsterfurious, on 02 May 2014 - 06:22 PM, said:

View PostRushchick10, on 02 May 2014 - 06:20 PM, said:

View Postgangsterfurious, on 02 May 2014 - 06:08 PM, said:

“Because you’re turned on or because you want a donut?"

This whole article made me giggle, but THAT right there made me roar with laughter!  :lol:

Well, to quote your quote....

"I wonder who invented donuts? I dunno, probably, probably some genius." - Geddy Lee

Hence the reason I'm kind of dying laughing over here.

:LMAO:  I didn't even think about that!  EVEN BETTER!  This wins the internet for the day.  :lol:

#20 Rushchick10

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Posted 02 May 2014 - 08:46 PM

View PostRushchick10, on 02 May 2014 - 08:45 PM, said:

View Postgangsterfurious, on 02 May 2014 - 06:22 PM, said:

View PostRushchick10, on 02 May 2014 - 06:20 PM, said:

View Postgangsterfurious, on 02 May 2014 - 06:08 PM, said:

“Because you’re turned on or because you want a donut?"

This whole article made me giggle, but THAT right there made me roar with laughter!  :lol:

Well, to quote your quote....

"I wonder who invented donuts? I dunno, probably, probably some genius." - Geddy Lee

Hence the reason I'm kind of dying laughing over here.

:LMAO:  I didn't even think about that!  EVEN BETTER!  This wins the internet for the day.  :lol:

And, just for the record, I have never thought of a donut as a sex toy.  I'm glad to be expanding my horizons...I think.  :eh:




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