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lame thread title geddy husbands boyfriends jealousy geddy shirtless etc...

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#1 gangsterfurious

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Posted 21 March 2014 - 03:29 PM

Sooooo...

As you all (may or may not) know, I'm married and I think my husband is pretty darn cute, I'd say about once a day he does something, or looks at me a certain way and it makes me remember why I thought he was so yumm-o to begin with.

When he introduced me to Rush the second time (which is when I fell in love with them) we were living together but we were just boyfriend and girlfriend, and one of the first things he said to me in order to get me to convert was that I'd probably think Geddy Lee is cute. Let me tell you, the way I imagined the band looking when I had only heard them and not seen them was a lot different than what they actually look like. So, after getting a healthy dose of the music of Rush in the car, we went home and stated watching videos on YouTube while "Beyond The Lighted Stage" downloaded to iTunes. My first view of Geddy was from a video from the 80's. No glasses, he may have even been playing the Steinberger bass, I know he kind of had the mullet/raccoon hat hair thing going on. I was like "yeah, he's pretty cute..." And then BTLS finished downloading and I was like "OH HELL YES HE'S FFFIIIINNNNNNNNNNEEEEEEE CAN I GET A WITNESS!!!!" Nom nom nom nom nom nom nom. Something like that.

But...

It wasn't just that Geddy is easy on the eyes, it's also his personality and the way he carries himself. And I just thought "this is a good man, he's the kind of person I wouldn't mind investing my time in just talking to." And I just think he's a cool guy and I gravitate towards his sweetness. So on the day Rush became my favorite band, Geddy became my favorite member of the band. The fact that he also loves wine, baseball, and travel doesn't hurt either.

Anyway, as some of you (may/may not) know. I was also sexually assaulted days before my 21st birthday and then once again by another man 4 years ago and those events were very damaging to my sexuality. So as much as I joke about how hot Geddy is and how much I'd like to see him without his shirt all of the time, etc... That's more my sense of humor coming out as I appreciate the physical from a mere mental standpoint. I don't really know what it's like to look at a man and get really turned on, or feel desire. I make jokes about Geddy's butt being cute and I've been known to pinch my hands together and say "sssqqqqquuuueeeeeeezzzzeeee" when he turns around during shows, or when he's doing a little wiggle. Anyway, I thought my husband knew all of this but last night he admitted to me that he's jealous of my crush on Geddy, which is just that. Regardless of the "dirty" things I might say, it really is a very sweet and innocent crush on him. But my husband didn't see it that way and I thought he would considering he knows how things in my past have affected me.

And then, I posted some pictures on Facebook that my husband took in San Diego where you can see about 1" of Geddy's belly because I knew it would get the ladies really excited and my husband thought I was also getting really excited and it upset him but he didn't tell me until last night; but the reality is that I was just excited I had something for my Geddycorns.

So, have any of your ladies ever dealt with a partner's jealousy over your crush on the boys? I'm just wondering how you handle the situation.

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#2 Lorraine

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Posted 21 March 2014 - 04:32 PM

No

#3 Brucey

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Posted 21 March 2014 - 05:11 PM

I remember coming on this board a while ago and mentioning on one of the threads how I hoped that your husbands didn't know about your crushes on Geddy, the response was that they did but weren't at all jealous or anything. I had a feeling that they might have been deep down.

#4 Lorraine

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Posted 21 March 2014 - 05:15 PM

My husband would probably call Geddy up and ask him where on his property he could dump me off.  :clap: :rfl:

Edited by Lorraine, 21 March 2014 - 05:26 PM.


#5 Lorraine

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Posted 21 March 2014 - 05:16 PM

Right, sweetheart?  :hi:

Edited by Lorraine, 21 March 2014 - 05:25 PM.


#6 x1yyz

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Posted 21 March 2014 - 05:18 PM

If I have a crush on someone, famous or otherwise, I don't typically tell my husband.  I figure, why tell him?  It's not like I'm going to leave my husband, our relationship isn't in jeopardy, and I'm not going to do anything about it, so why let him know I find other people good-looking/sexy/whatever?  It's my own little secret, although I will share that info with girlfriends if the subject comes up.

#7 EagleMoon

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Posted 21 March 2014 - 07:02 PM

Ive never had that problem. Usually the people I'm involved with are as big of a Rush fans as I am. But I wouldn't necessarily flaunt it in their face either.

#8 gangsterfurious

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Posted 21 March 2014 - 11:41 PM

View PostRushAreAwesome, on 21 March 2014 - 05:11 PM, said:

I remember coming on this board a while ago and mentioning on one of the threads how I hoped that your husbands didn't know about your crushes on Geddy, the response was that they did but weren't at all jealous or anything. I had a feeling that they might have been deep down.

He said he wasn't. If you knew who his crushes are you might hurl. I don't let them bother me at all.

#9 Maverick

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Posted 22 March 2014 - 12:07 AM

View Postgangsterfurious, on 21 March 2014 - 03:29 PM, said:

Sooooo...

As you all (may or may not) know, I'm married and I think my husband is pretty darn cute, I'd say about once a day he does something, or looks at me a certain way and it makes me remember why I thought he was so yumm-o to begin with.

When he introduced me to Rush the second time (which is when I fell in love with them) we were living together but we were just boyfriend and girlfriend, and one of the first things he said to me in order to get me to convert was that I'd probably think Geddy Lee is cute. Let me tell you, the way I imagined the band looking when I had only heard them and not seen them was a lot different than what they actually look like. So, after getting a healthy dose of the music of Rush in the car, we went home and stated watching videos on YouTube while "Beyond The Lighted Stage" downloaded to iTunes. My first view of Geddy was from a video from the 80's. No glasses, he may have even been playing the Steinberger bass, I know he kind of had the mullet/raccoon hat hair thing going on. I was like "yeah, he's pretty cute..." And then BTLS finished downloading and I was like "OH HELL YES HE'S FFFIIIINNNNNNNNNNEEEEEEE CAN I GET A WITNESS!!!!" Nom nom nom nom nom nom nom. Something like that.

But...

It wasn't just that Geddy is easy on the eyes, it's also his personality and the way he carries himself. And I just thought "this is a good man, he's the kind of person I wouldn't mind investing my time in just talking to." And I just think he's a cool guy and I gravitate towards his sweetness. So on the day Rush became my favorite band, Geddy became my favorite member of the band. The fact that he also loves wine, baseball, and travel doesn't hurt either.

Anyway, as some of you (may/may not) know. I was also sexually assaulted days before my 21st birthday and then once again by another man 4 years ago and those events were very damaging to my sexuality. So as much as I joke about how hot Geddy is and how much I'd like to see him without his shirt all of the time, etc... That's more my sense of humor coming out as I appreciate the physical from a mere mental standpoint. I don't really know what it's like to look at a man and get really turned on, or feel desire. I make jokes about Geddy's butt being cute and I've been known to pinch my hands together and say "sssqqqqquuuueeeeeeezzzzeeee" when he turns around during shows, or when he's doing a little wiggle. Anyway, I thought my husband knew all of this but last night he admitted to me that he's jealous of my crush on Geddy, which is just that. Regardless of the "dirty" things I might say, it really is a very sweet and innocent crush on him. But my husband didn't see it that way and I thought he would considering he knows how things in my past have affected me.

And then, I posted some pictures on Facebook that my husband took in San Diego where you can see about 1" of Geddy's belly because I knew it would get the ladies really excited and my husband thought I was also getting really excited and it upset him but he didn't tell me until last night; but the reality is that I was just excited I had something for my Geddycorns.

So, have any of your ladies ever dealt with a partner's jealousy over your crush on the boys? I'm just wondering how you handle the situation.

This post made me remember another post that you started the "Marriage" thread with.

http://www.therushfo...e/#entry2944007

In particular, this section:

Quote

Our honeymoon? What honeymoon? I mean, it was a fun vacation, it definitely was not a honeymoon. He promised me things would be romantic and that we'd have, you know, "time" together. Nope! So, when we were planning our wedding we were looking into a couple of different options, like going to Europe or doing a road trip of the Southwest because we were married in Sedona. Well, I found out that Rush would be on tour and decided that was all I really wanted to do was go see them. I tried to change our wedding date so that we could have caught more shows and still traveled around the Southwest, which wouldn't have been a big deal for us, he said no to that so we agreed to break up our honeymoon into two separate trips...

When I booked all of our hotel rooms for the second part of the honeymoon (to go see Rush) I made notes "honeymoon couple" on all of the reservations because sometimes they will give newlyweds upgrades or extra goodies and whatnot at the hotel. Well, at each hotel we checked into, if the front desk person would say something like "I see you are on your honeymoon, congratulations!" My husband would respond with "Not really, we're just here to see Rush." When he did that at our last hotel I was holding back tears I was so humiliated because it made it look like I was lying to the hotel and not only that, it's what we had discussed for months and it would have been our honeymoon right after our wedding had he let me change the wedding date! I was basically his designated driver to the shows because I usually don't drink at concerts and I didn't feel like chugging beer in front of Geddy and Alex.

I highlighted the parts that most pertain to this thread.  And I'm not saying that you did not have legitimate grievances during that time, I'm just pointing out from there what you are talking about here.

You say you don't understand how your husband can be jealous of how you feel about Geddy, but you have a license plate that says "I <3 Geddy" (or something like that) that you hold up at the shows, and your husband is there with you.  You wanted to change the date of your wedding so you could go see more Rush concerts.  You had decided that all you really wanted to do during your honeymoon was go around the southwest seeing Rush.  You even admit that the second leg of your honeymoon was specifically about going to go see Rush.  Is it any wonder to you that he may have felt like he wasn't really on a honeymoon with you, but that you two were just in a particular place so you could see Rush?

Putting myself in his shoes, no matter how much I loved Rush, or Yes, or Joe Bonamassa, or whoever, I would not want my fiance to try to change the wedding date so we could go see one of them play a couple more shows.  I definitely would not want my honeymoon to be traveling around to see them a few more times, especially if I knew that my wife had a huge crush on whoever it was we were seeing.  It would be like, "Hey, you just married me, why do you know want to follow this guy around so much?  Isn't the honeymoon supposed to be about us?"

I admit that I may have misunderstood some of what you were saying about how your honeymoon was actually planned or followed through.  But I think with you posting this about your husband feeling insecure about your apparent obsession with Geddy, it is a pretty good bet that he was feeling that way back then, too.

Just my 2 cents worth.

#10 Rushchick10

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Posted 22 March 2014 - 12:11 AM

When I started dating my now ex-husband about 11 years ago, I had already been a Rush fan for nearly 10 years.  I had a son whom I named after Alex Lifeson (because his father threw a fit when I suggested the name "Geddy").  When I met the man I would eventually marry, one of the first things out of his mouth when we started talking was "Oh!  You're the Rush Chick that everyone keeps talking about."  He liked Rush but was not as big a fan as I was/am.  Point to all this is he knew pretty much from the get-go that I had a thing for Geddy.  I fell for Geddy the first time I laid eyes on the guy.  It was a combination of such amazing talent, his long hair (always been a sucker for the long hair) and the fact that he wasn't cookie-cutter good-looking.  He had a very distinctive look about him and I was instantly drawn to him at the ripe old age of 14.  Since that initial primal reaction, my appreciation for the man has deepened to a point where it is complete and absolute admiration for him as a musician and as a wonderful human being.  Yeah, I joke around and say that I would "bang him like a loose screen door in a windstorm," but in all reality I have nothing but the upmost respect for him.  He is honestly one of my very favorite human beings on the face of the earth.

That being said, my future husband knew all this and never showed a hint of jealousy...until I actually met Geddy.  I don't know if he truly understood how much it meant for me to just be able to give Geddy a hug (and Alex for that matter) and tell them "thank you."  Oh, it was ok that we would watch Tomb Raider and he could drool over Angelina Jolie, but I put in a Rush DVD and he would give me the cold shoulder.  After that, he started getting weird about me going to multiple concerts and tried to passive-aggressively sabotage my trips to see the band.  That, coupled with other marital problems ultimately lead to our divorce.  

So, I don't know if it was a matter of he had just been hiding his jealousy or if it was sparked by my good fortune of winning a Meet and Greet in Vegas that August day.  Regardless, jealousy is a horrible monster that will ruin the best of relationships.  And, I believe that jealousy is OWNED by the person feeling it, not necessarily the person whom it is directed at or any other person involved in that dynamic.  I say talk to your husband and try to help him understand your true feelings...not just for Geddy, but your feelings for him as well.  Sometimes, the fragile men in our lives just need to know where they stand in the order of things.  

Like I said, I believe this jealousy is his problem, not yours.  Maybe some would disagree with me, but that's just my opinion.  He has some insecurity issues somewhere that are leading him to this conclusion.  :huh:

#11 Babycat

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Posted 22 March 2014 - 01:58 AM

View PostEagleMoon, on 21 March 2014 - 07:02 PM, said:

Ive never had that problem. Usually the people I'm involved with are as big of a Rush fans as I am. But I wouldn't necessarily flaunt it in their face either.
I identify with this one.

#12 Thunder Bay Rush

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Posted 22 March 2014 - 07:21 AM

Gangst’ – Gangst’ - Gangst’…
There is a HUGE difference between having a thing for a celebrity where it would be impossible to actually connect with and start something that would screw up a marriage.  If you had these feelings with someone who you work with or the guy across the street, well that could be a problem and one your husband SHOULD worry about.

But in this case… your husband needs to relax (and maybe grow up a little bit.)
  

My ex GF had a wicked thing for Jon Bon Jovi.  She made it clear to me that “If I ever get the chance, I’m gonna bang, blow him, squeeze his balls, sit on his face and even take it up the hoop for him. Then I’d do it all over again!”  None of this bothered me because it could never happen.  Harmless really.  

(Hey, wait a second here… I just realized something.  She wouldn’t take it up the hoop for me!  I should call today her and give her shit…)

#13 gangsterfurious

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Posted 22 March 2014 - 09:58 AM

View PostDr. Sheldon Cooper, on 22 March 2014 - 12:07 AM, said:

View Postgangsterfurious, on 21 March 2014 - 03:29 PM, said:

Sooooo...

As you all (may or may not) know, I'm married and I think my husband is pretty darn cute, I'd say about once a day he does something, or looks at me a certain way and it makes me remember why I thought he was so yumm-o to begin with.

When he introduced me to Rush the second time (which is when I fell in love with them) we were living together but we were just boyfriend and girlfriend, and one of the first things he said to me in order to get me to convert was that I'd probably think Geddy Lee is cute. Let me tell you, the way I imagined the band looking when I had only heard them and not seen them was a lot different than what they actually look like. So, after getting a healthy dose of the music of Rush in the car, we went home and stated watching videos on YouTube while "Beyond The Lighted Stage" downloaded to iTunes. My first view of Geddy was from a video from the 80's. No glasses, he may have even been playing the Steinberger bass, I know he kind of had the mullet/raccoon hat hair thing going on. I was like "yeah, he's pretty cute..." And then BTLS finished downloading and I was like "OH HELL YES HE'S FFFIIIINNNNNNNNNNEEEEEEE CAN I GET A WITNESS!!!!" Nom nom nom nom nom nom nom. Something like that.

But...

It wasn't just that Geddy is easy on the eyes, it's also his personality and the way he carries himself. And I just thought "this is a good man, he's the kind of person I wouldn't mind investing my time in just talking to." And I just think he's a cool guy and I gravitate towards his sweetness. So on the day Rush became my favorite band, Geddy became my favorite member of the band. The fact that he also loves wine, baseball, and travel doesn't hurt either.

Anyway, as some of you (may/may not) know. I was also sexually assaulted days before my 21st birthday and then once again by another man 4 years ago and those events were very damaging to my sexuality. So as much as I joke about how hot Geddy is and how much I'd like to see him without his shirt all of the time, etc... That's more my sense of humor coming out as I appreciate the physical from a mere mental standpoint. I don't really know what it's like to look at a man and get really turned on, or feel desire. I make jokes about Geddy's butt being cute and I've been known to pinch my hands together and say "sssqqqqquuuueeeeeeezzzzeeee" when he turns around during shows, or when he's doing a little wiggle. Anyway, I thought my husband knew all of this but last night he admitted to me that he's jealous of my crush on Geddy, which is just that. Regardless of the "dirty" things I might say, it really is a very sweet and innocent crush on him. But my husband didn't see it that way and I thought he would considering he knows how things in my past have affected me.

And then, I posted some pictures on Facebook that my husband took in San Diego where you can see about 1" of Geddy's belly because I knew it would get the ladies really excited and my husband thought I was also getting really excited and it upset him but he didn't tell me until last night; but the reality is that I was just excited I had something for my Geddycorns.

So, have any of your ladies ever dealt with a partner's jealousy over your crush on the boys? I'm just wondering how you handle the situation.

This post made me remember another post that you started the "Marriage" thread with.

http://www.therushfo...e/#entry2944007

In particular, this section:

Quote

Our honeymoon? What honeymoon? I mean, it was a fun vacation, it definitely was not a honeymoon. He promised me things would be romantic and that we'd have, you know, "time" together. Nope! So, when we were planning our wedding we were looking into a couple of different options, like going to Europe or doing a road trip of the Southwest because we were married in Sedona. Well, I found out that Rush would be on tour and decided that was all I really wanted to do was go see them. I tried to change our wedding date so that we could have caught more shows and still traveled around the Southwest, which wouldn't have been a big deal for us, he said no to that so we agreed to break up our honeymoon into two separate trips...

When I booked all of our hotel rooms for the second part of the honeymoon (to go see Rush) I made notes "honeymoon couple" on all of the reservations because sometimes they will give newlyweds upgrades or extra goodies and whatnot at the hotel. Well, at each hotel we checked into, if the front desk person would say something like "I see you are on your honeymoon, congratulations!" My husband would respond with "Not really, we're just here to see Rush." When he did that at our last hotel I was holding back tears I was so humiliated because it made it look like I was lying to the hotel and not only that, it's what we had discussed for months and it would have been our honeymoon right after our wedding had he let me change the wedding date! I was basically his designated driver to the shows because I usually don't drink at concerts and I didn't feel like chugging beer in front of Geddy and Alex.

I highlighted the parts that most pertain to this thread.  And I'm not saying that you did not have legitimate grievances during that time, I'm just pointing out from there what you are talking about here.

You say you don't understand how your husband can be jealous of how you feel about Geddy, but you have a license plate that says "I <3 Geddy" (or something like that) that you hold up at the shows, and your husband is there with you.  You wanted to change the date of your wedding so you could go see more Rush concerts.  You had decided that all you really wanted to do during your honeymoon was go around the southwest seeing Rush.  You even admit that the second leg of your honeymoon was specifically about going to go see Rush.  Is it any wonder to you that he may have felt like he wasn't really on a honeymoon with you, but that you two were just in a particular place so you could see Rush?

Putting myself in his shoes, no matter how much I loved Rush, or Yes, or Joe Bonamassa, or whoever, I would not want my fiance to try to change the wedding date so we could go see one of them play a couple more shows.  I definitely would not want my honeymoon to be traveling around to see them a few more times, especially if I knew that my wife had a huge crush on whoever it was we were seeing.  It would be like, "Hey, you just married me, why do you know want to follow this guy around so much?  Isn't the honeymoon supposed to be about us?"

I admit that I may have misunderstood some of what you were saying about how your honeymoon was actually planned or followed through.  But I think with you posting this about your husband feeling insecure about your apparent obsession with Geddy, it is a pretty good bet that he was feeling that way back then, too.

Just my 2 cents worth.

Trying to figure out where to start here... I guess I'll go way back.

When I first moved in with my husband, he was my boyfriend. I moved into his bachelor pad and it was tiny so we had to consolidate/donate a bunch of stuff and when we were going through all of his stuff he had all of these pentagram things (jewelry, decorations) because they were the closest thing he could get to the "red star", he has loved the band since the 70's and was so excited when he got me into them. He had always considered them his favorite.

Anyway, when we started to plan our wedding I was working 6 days a week for a bank, making quite a bit more money than I do now. I also worked Sunday nights at my current job, we had less financial responsibility at the time, we were supposed to go to Paris/Europe for our honeymoon. Well, my bank was bought out by a larger bank and they basically said "don't hold your breath in regards to keeping your job" to about 600(?) employees, I was one of them because I worked in corporate offices and not a branch. The bank that bought us had all of the administration they needed and holding onto our offices would be redundant for them. They also said that they would most-likely start layoffs the month we were getting married. So I thought, okay maybe the Paris/Europe trip isn't the best option right now, what else can we do? We were married in Sedona so we planned on staying in Arizona about a week after we were married there (which we did) and then afterwards we were going to take a road trip to Santa Fe, maybe Austin, maybe one of the National Parks in Utah, something like that, I wasn't really sure. Also, when I left my job at the bank to come back to my old job, my paid vacation hours became more limited and I had to find a way to factor that in as well so it became a better idea to see Rush while they were in our state to cut down on travel time.

Also, we eloped. The only people at my wedding were my mother, her husband, the dog, the minister, his wife, and my photographer, that was it. So it's not as if I were trying to change the date on an actual wedding with guests and a reception and all of that.

During this time Rush announced they were going on tour. I thought "Wow, wouldn't it be awesome if he and I got to see a band we both love?" I mean, we were planning on traveling around the western part of the U.S. anyway... So when I threw the idea out there he was pretty excited, because like, how many other women would go from a honeymoon in Paris to saying to her future husband, "Hey, let's go see your favorite band instead and just get really good seats."?

So at the time, my focus wasn't Rush, or Geddy, it was my husband. The reason I tried to move the date as well was because it would have been easier for me to tie up a few loose ends in regards to the wedding planning. So obviously there is more to the story than I write because then the thread would turn into a novel.

Also, as far as the license plate. I didn't have a car for awhile, I sold my old Volkswagen when it started to need a lot of repairs and so I took the bus or carpooled with my husband. When I came back to my old job I decided to buy a car and we had been throwing out the idea of getting a Rush themed license plate. I, being a cutesy girl, wanted I <3 something. We decided that I <3 Neil or I <3 Alex would be too generic but if I had I <3 Geddy that people would most-likely know exactly who I was talking about. The day we bought the car, my husband was the one that got online, said  "okay let's do this" and bought the plates for me as a gift.

Nothing was about Geddy, at all. We didn't change plans so that I could "see Geddy". We changed plans to go see the band, as a whole and to hear them play. I don't go see Rush just to "follow Geddy" or because I think Geddy is cute. I'm serious about the music and it means a lot to me, I'm not a Rush fan because of some silly crush if that's what you are implying. What you see on the Forum is much different from how I am at home. When I am at home I have my life separate from all of this, I am busy and involved in other things. What you see here is mostly me at work during slow times being a goof and cutting loose a bit. It's not all Rush and Geddy. I do have other interests, hobbies, etc...

Anyway, my husband let me know he was upset after I posted some pictures he had taken in San Diego of Geddy, in them Geddy's shirt had lifted a tiny bit and when I noticed that (just a couple of weeks ago) I jokingly said "you've been holding out on me!" because I wanted to post them for my girlfriends that love Geddy, he kind of took it the wrong way. There isn't much I can do about that.

Edited by gangsterfurious, 22 March 2014 - 10:04 AM.


#14 gangsterfurious

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Posted 22 March 2014 - 10:14 AM

View PostRushchick10, on 22 March 2014 - 12:11 AM, said:

When I started dating my now ex-husband about 11 years ago, I had already been a Rush fan for nearly 10 years.  I had a son whom I named after Alex Lifeson (because his father threw a fit when I suggested the name "Geddy").  When I met the man I would eventually marry, one of the first things out of his mouth when we started talking was "Oh!  You're the Rush Chick that everyone keeps talking about."  He liked Rush but was not as big a fan as I was/am.  Point to all this is he knew pretty much from the get-go that I had a thing for Geddy.  I fell for Geddy the first time I laid eyes on the guy.  It was a combination of such amazing talent, his long hair (always been a sucker for the long hair) and the fact that he wasn't cookie-cutter good-looking.  He had a very distinctive look about him and I was instantly drawn to him at the ripe old age of 14.  Since that initial primal reaction, my appreciation for the man has deepened to a point where it is complete and absolute admiration for him as a musician and as a wonderful human being.  Yeah, I joke around and say that I would "bang him like a loose screen door in a windstorm," but in all reality I have nothing but the upmost respect for him.  He is honestly one of my very favorite human beings on the face of the earth.

That being said, my future husband knew all this and never showed a hint of jealousy...until I actually met Geddy.  I don't know if he truly understood how much it meant for me to just be able to give Geddy a hug (and Alex for that matter) and tell them "thank you."  Oh, it was ok that we would watch Tomb Raider and he could drool over Angelina Jolie, but I put in a Rush DVD and he would give me the cold shoulder.  After that, he started getting weird about me going to multiple concerts and tried to passive-aggressively sabotage my trips to see the band.  That, coupled with other marital problems ultimately lead to our divorce.  

So, I don't know if it was a matter of he had just been hiding his jealousy or if it was sparked by my good fortune of winning a Meet and Greet in Vegas that August day.  Regardless, jealousy is a horrible monster that will ruin the best of relationships.  And, I believe that jealousy is OWNED by the person feeling it, not necessarily the person whom it is directed at or any other person involved in that dynamic.  I say talk to your husband and try to help him understand your true feelings...not just for Geddy, but your feelings for him as well.  Sometimes, the fragile men in our lives just need to know where they stand in the order of things.  

Like I said, I believe this jealousy is his problem, not yours.  Maybe some would disagree with me, but that's just my opinion.  He has some insecurity issues somewhere that are leading him to this conclusion.  :huh:

Yes, and the thing is, my husband has a crush on Lindsay Lohan, sometimes I catch him reading gossip website articles about her. He also thinks Hayden Panitierre(?) is cute. AND to top it off he works at a college in California where much thinner, firmer, and better-looking girls walk around all day in clothes that leave nothing to the imagination. So I feel as if he's being hypocritical. Also, my husband kind of reminds me of Geddy! He told me I'd probably think Geddy was cute because he has the dark long hair, hazel eyes, and big nose, just like my husband does! :rage:

I joke around too about Geddy; as you know because I've joked around with you. I know how much we talk about face-planting ourselves in Geddy's lap and things like that but to be honest I'd only show Geddy nothing but respect and admiration if I met him. I mean, I've had the chance to be just feet away from him a few times now and when I see him I'm just happy :sigh: .

But yeah, now I think my husband is trying to sabotage me from seeing them as well. I told him that I wanted 6-10 shows on the next tour and he's like "Well we don't have the money for that." and then he keeps buying things on his credit card. I can't win.

#15 Janie

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Posted 22 March 2014 - 10:37 AM

Things just got way complicated in here...

But, here's my answer to the original question of if our partners are jealous of our crushes. I think everyone has little crushes. These things are totally innocent. Especially when it's on a celebrity. As long as you keep things fun, goofy and in control. (There have been a few members here who went off the deep end with their "love" for Alex. That was weird and their feelings got way out of control.)

My husband doesn't know about my crush on Alex. I keep it that way for a reason. He's a jokester about this stuff (we both are) and if he knew, he would make fun of me any chance he got and trust me, the man already has enough material to work with. I'm not giving him another area to poke fun at me. Every time a Rush song came on the radio or whenever Rush was in town this is, I'm sure, what I would hear, "Hey! There's your boyfriend! You gonna make googoo love eyes at your boyfriend! Hey! Did your boyfriend look at you?! No! Burn!" I know this because I make serious fun at his little celebrity crushes. The man just has the worst taste sometimes. His latest crush is on Maria Sharapova. :facepalm:

It all boils down to this, I think Alex Lifeson is absolutely gorgeous and I like looking at that handsome face. I joke around, like a lot of us do, about the things we'd do if... But it's all in make believe land and that's what makes it fun and light. So long as you don't let things get out of hand like some people have. What's the harm?

Edited by Janie, 22 March 2014 - 10:41 AM.


#16 x1yyz

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Posted 22 March 2014 - 10:39 AM

First off, GangsterF, I wanted to say I'm sorry you are going through this.  Relationships are hard in the best of times.  But take a step back and look at the big picture (and you don't have to answer this now, but think about it)--do you want to stay married to this man?  Is he the right guy for you?  If the answer to both is yes, then the two of you need to have a serious talk.

I don't recall if you mentioned talking with your hubby about all this, but you really need to, as difficult as it might be.  Let him know you love him and you want to make your marriage work (assume you do, of course), and there are some issues coming up between you.  Talk about the Geddy thing, talk about the camera thing, let me know how you have been feeling.  The most important thing is to speak from your point of view, about what's going on in your head.  Don't make the mistake of blaming him as that will put him on the defensive and it becomes a "me vs. you" thing.  Example: say "When you don't let me use the camera I feel like you don't trust me, and I feel like a child."  Don't say: "You never let me use the camera and you treat me like a child" because that may not have been his intention.

Best of luck with all of this.

#17 gangsterfurious

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Posted 22 March 2014 - 10:40 AM

View PostJanie, on 22 March 2014 - 10:37 AM, said:

Things just got way complicated in here...

But, here's my answer to the original question of if our partners are jealous of our crushes. I think everyone has little crushes. These things are totally innocent. Especially when it's on a celebrity. As long as you keep things fun, goofy and in control. (There have been a few members here who went off the deep end with their "love" for Alex. That was weird and their feelings got way out of control.)

My husband doesn't know about my crush on Alex. I keep it that way for a reason. He's a jokester about this stuff (we both are) and if he knew, he would make fun of me any chance he got and trust me, the man already has enough material to work with. I'm not giving him another area to poke fun at me. Every time a Rush song came on the radio or whenever Rush was in town this is, I'm sure, what I would hear, "Hey! There's your boyfriend! You gonna make googoo love eyes at your boyfriend! Hey! Did you boyfriend look at you?! No! Burn!" I know this because I make serious fun at his little celebrity crushes. The man just has the worst taste sometimes. His latest crush is on Maria Sharapova. :facepalm:

It all boils down to this, I think Alex Lifeson is absolutely gorgeous and I like looking at that handsome face. I joke around, like a lot of us do, about the things we'd do if... But it's all in make believe land and that's what makes it fun and light. So long as you don't let things get out of hand like some people have. What's the harm?

There is no harm. I think it's healthy to admit we are humans and we will still notice other people. I just like Geddy, I like Alex, I like Neil.

*sigh* so sorry about the Maria thing.

#18 Rushchick10

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Posted 22 March 2014 - 10:47 AM

View Postgangsterfurious, on 22 March 2014 - 10:14 AM, said:

View PostRushchick10, on 22 March 2014 - 12:11 AM, said:

When I started dating my now ex-husband about 11 years ago, I had already been a Rush fan for nearly 10 years.  I had a son whom I named after Alex Lifeson (because his father threw a fit when I suggested the name "Geddy").  When I met the man I would eventually marry, one of the first things out of his mouth when we started talking was "Oh!  You're the Rush Chick that everyone keeps talking about."  He liked Rush but was not as big a fan as I was/am.  Point to all this is he knew pretty much from the get-go that I had a thing for Geddy.  I fell for Geddy the first time I laid eyes on the guy.  It was a combination of such amazing talent, his long hair (always been a sucker for the long hair) and the fact that he wasn't cookie-cutter good-looking.  He had a very distinctive look about him and I was instantly drawn to him at the ripe old age of 14.  Since that initial primal reaction, my appreciation for the man has deepened to a point where it is complete and absolute admiration for him as a musician and as a wonderful human being.  Yeah, I joke around and say that I would "bang him like a loose screen door in a windstorm," but in all reality I have nothing but the upmost respect for him.  He is honestly one of my very favorite human beings on the face of the earth.

That being said, my future husband knew all this and never showed a hint of jealousy...until I actually met Geddy.  I don't know if he truly understood how much it meant for me to just be able to give Geddy a hug (and Alex for that matter) and tell them "thank you."  Oh, it was ok that we would watch Tomb Raider and he could drool over Angelina Jolie, but I put in a Rush DVD and he would give me the cold shoulder.  After that, he started getting weird about me going to multiple concerts and tried to passive-aggressively sabotage my trips to see the band.  That, coupled with other marital problems ultimately lead to our divorce.  

So, I don't know if it was a matter of he had just been hiding his jealousy or if it was sparked by my good fortune of winning a Meet and Greet in Vegas that August day.  Regardless, jealousy is a horrible monster that will ruin the best of relationships.  And, I believe that jealousy is OWNED by the person feeling it, not necessarily the person whom it is directed at or any other person involved in that dynamic.  I say talk to your husband and try to help him understand your true feelings...not just for Geddy, but your feelings for him as well.  Sometimes, the fragile men in our lives just need to know where they stand in the order of things.  

Like I said, I believe this jealousy is his problem, not yours.  Maybe some would disagree with me, but that's just my opinion.  He has some insecurity issues somewhere that are leading him to this conclusion.  :huh:

Yes, and the thing is, my husband has a crush on Lindsay Lohan, sometimes I catch him reading gossip website articles about her. He also thinks Hayden Panitierre(?) is cute. AND to top it off he works at a college in California where much thinner, firmer, and better-looking girls walk around all day in clothes that leave nothing to the imagination. So I feel as if he's being hypocritical. Also, my husband kind of reminds me of Geddy! He told me I'd probably think Geddy was cute because he has the dark long hair, hazel eyes, and big nose, just like my husband does! :rage:

I joke around too about Geddy; as you know because I've joked around with you. I know how much we talk about face-planting ourselves in Geddy's lap and things like that but to be honest I'd only show Geddy nothing but respect and admiration if I met him. I mean, I've had the chance to be just feet away from him a few times now and when I see him I'm just happy :sigh: .

But yeah, now I think my husband is trying to sabotage me from seeing them as well. I told him that I wanted 6-10 shows on the next tour and he's like "Well we don't have the money for that." and then he keeps buying things on his credit card. I can't win.

I feel I should elaborate on something, and that is how I felt my husband was trying to sabotage my trips to see the band.

My now ex-husband is self-employed and deals mostly in cash in his business.  I was working as a cop at the time and I made just as much or more money than he did.  I do not like using credit or credit cards for anything unless absolutely necessary.  So, instead of running up debt to go see Rush, I took on a second job for a short period of time.  I worked my ASS off.  I'd work 12 hour shifts for the police department, get off work at 6pm, change, get a quick bite to eat, then be at work stocking shelves at Home Depot by 7-7:30, then do that until we were done (typically some time between midnight and 1 am).  Then, I'd go home, catch a few hours of sleep, and get up in time to be showered and at work by 6 am.  There were days I put in 18+ hours of work straight.  I did this so that the household budget would not be affected by my travel to see Rush.  

But, all of a sudden, my husband stopped making deposits in our bank account.  So, I found that the little bit I was making on the side was having to go to regular household expenses.  Come to find out, he was hiding money from me in an effort to prevent me from making my trips.  There were problems in our marriage before this, but everything came to a head with this and I left him.

Also, for the record, I was never anything but 100% faithful to my husband and I never gave him any reason to think otherwise.  Case in point:  I went to see Queensryche without him (he was invited but did not want to go) and I ended up going to an after-show party with a few of the guys from the band.  I have loved Queensryche for a long time and as a teenager I had the wildest crush on one of the guitarists, Michael Wilton.  He was one of the band members in attendance at the party.  He and I struck up a conversation and ended up spending most of the party talking about music (a lot about Rush, actually), life, etc.  As the party was dispersing, he invited me to go back to his hotel room with him.  I knew his intentions, and I still found him very attractive, but I politely declined and went home to my husband.  

So, I had a chance at a celebrity crush and I chose my husband.  As much as I love Geddy, I am sure I would have made that same choice with him as well.  That's just the kind of person I am...very loyal and faithful.  My husband had no reason for jealousy beyond his own set of insecurities.

#19 Janie

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Posted 22 March 2014 - 11:02 AM

View PostRushchick10, on 22 March 2014 - 10:47 AM, said:

Also, for the record, I was never anything but 100% faithful to my husband and I never gave him any reason to think otherwise.  Case in point:  I went to see Queensryche without him (he was invited but did not want to go) and I ended up going to an after-show party with a few of the guys from the band.  I have loved Queensryche for a long time and as a teenager I had the wildest crush on one of the guitarists, Michael Wilton.  He was one of the band members in attendance at the party.  He and I struck up a conversation and ended up spending most of the party talking about music (a lot about Rush, actually), life, etc.  As the party was dispersing, he invited me to go back to his hotel room with him.  I knew his intentions, and I still found him very attractive, but I politely declined and went home to my husband.  

So, I had a chance at a celebrity crush and I chose my husband.  As much as I love Geddy, I am sure I would have made that same choice with him as well.  That's just the kind of person I am...very loyal and faithful.  My husband had no reason for jealousy beyond his own set of insecurities.
Awesome story! How fun. Goes to show that crushes are just that... a crush. Some eye candy to look at. I've been with my husband since 1998 and have been a good girl. Sometimes I think maybe he gets a little jealous like for both Rush shows, I went with a guy friend. But then he comes back to reality and knows that he's stuck with me and I ain't going nowhere.

#20 gangsterfurious

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Posted 22 March 2014 - 11:04 AM

View PostRushchick10, on 22 March 2014 - 10:47 AM, said:

View Postgangsterfurious, on 22 March 2014 - 10:14 AM, said:

View PostRushchick10, on 22 March 2014 - 12:11 AM, said:

When I started dating my now ex-husband about 11 years ago, I had already been a Rush fan for nearly 10 years.  I had a son whom I named after Alex Lifeson (because his father threw a fit when I suggested the name "Geddy").  When I met the man I would eventually marry, one of the first things out of his mouth when we started talking was "Oh!  You're the Rush Chick that everyone keeps talking about."  He liked Rush but was not as big a fan as I was/am.  Point to all this is he knew pretty much from the get-go that I had a thing for Geddy.  I fell for Geddy the first time I laid eyes on the guy.  It was a combination of such amazing talent, his long hair (always been a sucker for the long hair) and the fact that he wasn't cookie-cutter good-looking.  He had a very distinctive look about him and I was instantly drawn to him at the ripe old age of 14.  Since that initial primal reaction, my appreciation for the man has deepened to a point where it is complete and absolute admiration for him as a musician and as a wonderful human being.  Yeah, I joke around and say that I would "bang him like a loose screen door in a windstorm," but in all reality I have nothing but the upmost respect for him.  He is honestly one of my very favorite human beings on the face of the earth.

That being said, my future husband knew all this and never showed a hint of jealousy...until I actually met Geddy.  I don't know if he truly understood how much it meant for me to just be able to give Geddy a hug (and Alex for that matter) and tell them "thank you."  Oh, it was ok that we would watch Tomb Raider and he could drool over Angelina Jolie, but I put in a Rush DVD and he would give me the cold shoulder.  After that, he started getting weird about me going to multiple concerts and tried to passive-aggressively sabotage my trips to see the band.  That, coupled with other marital problems ultimately lead to our divorce.  

So, I don't know if it was a matter of he had just been hiding his jealousy or if it was sparked by my good fortune of winning a Meet and Greet in Vegas that August day.  Regardless, jealousy is a horrible monster that will ruin the best of relationships.  And, I believe that jealousy is OWNED by the person feeling it, not necessarily the person whom it is directed at or any other person involved in that dynamic.  I say talk to your husband and try to help him understand your true feelings...not just for Geddy, but your feelings for him as well.  Sometimes, the fragile men in our lives just need to know where they stand in the order of things.  

Like I said, I believe this jealousy is his problem, not yours.  Maybe some would disagree with me, but that's just my opinion.  He has some insecurity issues somewhere that are leading him to this conclusion.  :huh:

Yes, and the thing is, my husband has a crush on Lindsay Lohan, sometimes I catch him reading gossip website articles about her. He also thinks Hayden Panitierre(?) is cute. AND to top it off he works at a college in California where much thinner, firmer, and better-looking girls walk around all day in clothes that leave nothing to the imagination. So I feel as if he's being hypocritical. Also, my husband kind of reminds me of Geddy! He told me I'd probably think Geddy was cute because he has the dark long hair, hazel eyes, and big nose, just like my husband does! :rage:

I joke around too about Geddy; as you know because I've joked around with you. I know how much we talk about face-planting ourselves in Geddy's lap and things like that but to be honest I'd only show Geddy nothing but respect and admiration if I met him. I mean, I've had the chance to be just feet away from him a few times now and when I see him I'm just happy :sigh: .

But yeah, now I think my husband is trying to sabotage me from seeing them as well. I told him that I wanted 6-10 shows on the next tour and he's like "Well we don't have the money for that." and then he keeps buying things on his credit card. I can't win.

I feel I should elaborate on something, and that is how I felt my husband was trying to sabotage my trips to see the band.

My now ex-husband is self-employed and deals mostly in cash in his business.  I was working as a cop at the time and I made just as much or more money than he did.  I do not like using credit or credit cards for anything unless absolutely necessary.  So, instead of running up debt to go see Rush, I took on a second job for a short period of time.  I worked my ASS off.  I'd work 12 hour shifts for the police department, get off work at 6pm, change, get a quick bite to eat, then be at work stocking shelves at Home Depot by 7-7:30, then do that until we were done (typically some time between midnight and 1 am).  Then, I'd go home, catch a few hours of sleep, and get up in time to be showered and at work by 6 am.  There were days I put in 18+ hours of work straight.  I did this so that the household budget would not be affected by my travel to see Rush.  

But, all of a sudden, my husband stopped making deposits in our bank account.  So, I found that the little bit I was making on the side was having to go to regular household expenses.  Come to find out, he was hiding money from me in an effort to prevent me from making my trips.  There were problems in our marriage before this, but everything came to a head with this and I left him.

Also, for the record, I was never anything but 100% faithful to my husband and I never gave him any reason to think otherwise.  Case in point:  I went to see Queensryche without him (he was invited but did not want to go) and I ended up going to an after-show party with a few of the guys from the band.  I have loved Queensryche for a long time and as a teenager I had the wildest crush on one of the guitarists, Michael Wilton.  He was one of the band members in attendance at the party.  He and I struck up a conversation and ended up spending most of the party talking about music (a lot about Rush, actually), life, etc.  As the party was dispersing, he invited me to go back to his hotel room with him.  I knew his intentions, and I still found him very attractive, but I politely declined and went home to my husband.  

So, I had a chance at a celebrity crush and I chose my husband.  As much as I love Geddy, I am sure I would have made that same choice with him as well.  That's just the kind of person I am...very loyal and faithful.  My husband had no reason for jealousy beyond his own set of insecurities.

My husband himself as admitted that he finds me intensely loyal. He's said this while watching me care for him, my grandmother, his father, etc... I kind of feel as if he's bringing Geddy up to deflect things he's been doing lately. I have a feeling he's back to some old habits that have harmed our relationship in the past and when I try to bring things up the FIRST thing he will say to me is "well you do..." just so that the topic doesn't have to be on him, he cannot stand scrutiny.

When we were in San Diego we had VIP tickets so we didn't know where we'd be sitting, it turns out my seat was directly in front of Geddy in the first row, right under his mic. I'm a little on the busty side and I had on that red Rush v-neck which has a small fit and a low cut, so I wore a thin black tank underneath it to cover things up a bit. Well after awhile of dancing singing my ass off, the tank had stopped serving it's purpose and had totally slid down. Shortly after, my husband turns to me and goes, "Geddy keeps looking at your breasts..." First I was like, :blush:  and then I was like, :facepalm: . So when I didn't think anybody was looking I pulled my tank top up, way up, out of respect for my husband. Also, I'm not fond of giving maximum cleavage flashes to other women's husbands, no matter how attractive I think they are.

My husband is a very negative person and his mind always assumes the worst. He didn't want me in Kansas City alone and it was hell to try and convince him to let me go stay with two of my girlfriends so that we could go see the show. I've never done anything to give him a reason to not trust me, he says he trusts me, I don't know what his issue is.

I think it's awesome that you had a second job to get tickets! I can't do that any longer because of certain health issues but I am going to try and work full-time during the summer to save up. Hopefully my man will be more chill by then.





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