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Cancer Diagnosed With Skip Bayless ‘It’s Stage IV Skip Bayless, The Loudest, Most Aggressive Kind,’ Say Doctors

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#1 treeduck

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Posted 25 February 2014 - 10:21 PM

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NEW YORK—Saying that nobody deserves to endure such an atrocious fate, doctors at Mount Sinai Medical Center announced at a press conference Tuesday that they had diagnosed cancer with stage IV Skip Bayless.

Surgical oncologist Dr. Andrew Bergman confirmed that Skip Bayless, one of the most dreaded and abhorrent diseases known to mankind, had metastasized, spreading throughout the malignant neoplasm and causing excruciating pain in the cancerous tissue.

“Realistically, cancer has little hope for survival with Skip Bayless this bad,” said Bergman, predicting that cancer will suffer severe agony brought on by the vociferous affliction that cuts off anyone in its path. “Based upon my professional experience, I’d say Skip Bayless is just about the worst thing you could have to deal with.”

“I wouldn’t wish Skip Bayless on my worst enemy,” Bergman solemnly continued.

According to Bergman’s prognosis, cancer will likely experience fatigue and nausea from Skip Bayless aggressively and rapidly spreading its inane remarks, noting that patients typically report severe shortness of breath as they become more exasperated with the cantankerous growth’s refusal to see logic.

Bergman told reporters that the cancer would continue to waste away, shriveling to a shell of its former self, until it eventually shuts down completely in reaction to the overwhelming smugness of Skip Bayless.

The oncologist confirmed that most Skip Bayless victims usually contract the despicable ailment within the first 15 minutes of televised segments.

“Unfortunately right now there is no cure for Skip Bayless,” said Bergman, adding that while early detection offers some hope for treatment, at this stage nearly 95 percent of patients will lose their battle with the self-satisfied disease. “It resists nearly everything we throw at it. It just continues to attack relentlessly without listening to a single thing. It pains me to say that fighting it is a completely futile effort.” 


“All we can do now is make the cancer as comfortable as possible and allow Skip Bayless to run its course,” Bergman continued.

According to Bergman, regular screenings for Skip Bayless are imperative, both through medical scans as well as routine self-checks at home. Bergman said that early warning signs of the highly virulent commentator include persistent headaches, loss of appetite, and abnormal bumps in ratings.

Bergman also stressed the importance of preventative care, stating that the incidence of Skip Bayless skyrockets amongst those who begin discussing the value of NBA power forward Kevin Durant or anyone who leaves ESPN on from 10 a.m. until noon.

“It tests your faith, even as a doctor, to see cancer saddled with something horrible like Skip Bayless,” said Bergman, reflecting on the anguish of those who must watch cancer struggle in vain as it attempts to cling to life, knowing they can do nothing to help. “People are always looking for a reason. They find themselves wondering how God could allow such a vicious thing like Skip Bayless to exist in this world.”

“All we can say is that Skip Bayless is something we wish modern medicine could have eradicated from society years ago,” added the oncologist.


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#2 Babycat

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Posted 26 February 2014 - 03:12 AM

Thank you for the tag, Duck  :smoke:  , I had to Google this guy. I don't get it.   :huh:

#3 treeduck

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Posted 26 February 2014 - 12:42 PM

View PostBabycat, on 26 February 2014 - 03:12 AM, said:

Thank you for the tag, Duck  :smoke:  , I had to Google this guy. I don't get it.   :huh:
Well the joke is Skip is such an asshole, such an outright knobhead that he's worse than cancer!

#4 Babycat

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Posted 26 February 2014 - 02:35 PM

View Posttreeduck, on 26 February 2014 - 12:42 PM, said:

View PostBabycat, on 26 February 2014 - 03:12 AM, said:

Thank you for the tag, Duck  :smoke:  , I had to Google this guy. I don't get it.   :huh:
Well the joke is Skip is such an asshole, such an outright knobhead that he's worse than cancer!
Ah. I see. I think.

#5 treeduck

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Posted 26 February 2014 - 02:38 PM

View PostBabycat, on 26 February 2014 - 02:35 PM, said:

View Posttreeduck, on 26 February 2014 - 12:42 PM, said:

View PostBabycat, on 26 February 2014 - 03:12 AM, said:

Thank you for the tag, Duck  :smoke:  , I had to Google this guy. I don't get it.   :huh:
Well the joke is Skip is such an asshole, such an outright knobhead that he's worse than cancer!
Ah. I see. I think.
You judge for yourself!





#6 Babycat

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Posted 26 February 2014 - 02:50 PM

View Posttreeduck, on 26 February 2014 - 02:38 PM, said:

View PostBabycat, on 26 February 2014 - 02:35 PM, said:

View Posttreeduck, on 26 February 2014 - 12:42 PM, said:

View PostBabycat, on 26 February 2014 - 03:12 AM, said:

Thank you for the tag, Duck  :smoke:  , I had to Google this guy. I don't get it.   :huh:
Well the joke is Skip is such an asshole, such an outright knobhead that he's worse than cancer!
Ah. I see. I think.
You judge for yourself!





Oh, boy......!    :blink:

#7 treeduck

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Posted 26 February 2014 - 03:06 PM

View PostBabycat, on 26 February 2014 - 02:50 PM, said:

View Posttreeduck, on 26 February 2014 - 02:38 PM, said:

View PostBabycat, on 26 February 2014 - 02:35 PM, said:

View Posttreeduck, on 26 February 2014 - 12:42 PM, said:

View PostBabycat, on 26 February 2014 - 03:12 AM, said:

Thank you for the tag, Duck  :smoke:  , I had to Google this guy. I don't get it.   :huh:
Well the joke is Skip is such an asshole, such an outright knobhead that he's worse than cancer!
Ah. I see. I think.
You judge for yourself!





Oh, boy......! :blink:

:lol:

#8 Babycat

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Posted 26 February 2014 - 03:07 PM

View Posttreeduck, on 26 February 2014 - 03:06 PM, said:

View PostBabycat, on 26 February 2014 - 02:50 PM, said:

View Posttreeduck, on 26 February 2014 - 02:38 PM, said:

View PostBabycat, on 26 February 2014 - 02:35 PM, said:

View Posttreeduck, on 26 February 2014 - 12:42 PM, said:

View PostBabycat, on 26 February 2014 - 03:12 AM, said:

Thank you for the tag, Duck  :smoke:  , I had to Google this guy. I don't get it.   :huh:
Well the joke is Skip is such an asshole, such an outright knobhead that he's worse than cancer!
Ah. I see. I think.
You judge for yourself!





Oh, boy......! :blink:

:lol:

Is he usually like that?  :o

#9 treeduck

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Posted 26 February 2014 - 03:11 PM

View PostBabycat, on 26 February 2014 - 03:07 PM, said:

View Posttreeduck, on 26 February 2014 - 03:06 PM, said:

View PostBabycat, on 26 February 2014 - 02:50 PM, said:

View Posttreeduck, on 26 February 2014 - 02:38 PM, said:

View PostBabycat, on 26 February 2014 - 02:35 PM, said:

View Posttreeduck, on 26 February 2014 - 12:42 PM, said:

View PostBabycat, on 26 February 2014 - 03:12 AM, said:

Thank you for the tag, Duck  :smoke:  , I had to Google this guy. I don't get it.   :huh:
Well the joke is Skip is such an asshole, such an outright knobhead that he's worse than cancer!
Ah. I see. I think.
You judge for yourself!





Oh, boy......! :blink:

:lol:

Is he usually like that?  :o
He's ALWAYS like that! He was particularly annoying to me during the SAINTS bountygate saga... :eyeroll:

#10 Babycat

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Posted 26 February 2014 - 03:12 PM

View Posttreeduck, on 26 February 2014 - 03:11 PM, said:

View PostBabycat, on 26 February 2014 - 03:07 PM, said:

View Posttreeduck, on 26 February 2014 - 03:06 PM, said:

View PostBabycat, on 26 February 2014 - 02:50 PM, said:

View Posttreeduck, on 26 February 2014 - 02:38 PM, said:

View PostBabycat, on 26 February 2014 - 02:35 PM, said:

View Posttreeduck, on 26 February 2014 - 12:42 PM, said:

View PostBabycat, on 26 February 2014 - 03:12 AM, said:

Thank you for the tag, Duck  :smoke:  , I had to Google this guy. I don't get it.   :huh:
Well the joke is Skip is such an asshole, such an outright knobhead that he's worse than cancer!
Ah. I see. I think.
You judge for yourself!





Oh, boy......! :blink:

:lol:

Is he usually like that?  :o
He's ALWAYS like that! He was particularly annoying to me during the SAINTS bountygate saga... :eyeroll:

My jaw dropped as I heard him..!   :o

#11 treeduck

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Posted 26 February 2014 - 03:26 PM

View PostBabycat, on 26 February 2014 - 03:12 PM, said:

View Posttreeduck, on 26 February 2014 - 03:11 PM, said:

View PostBabycat, on 26 February 2014 - 03:07 PM, said:

View Posttreeduck, on 26 February 2014 - 03:06 PM, said:

View PostBabycat, on 26 February 2014 - 02:50 PM, said:

View Posttreeduck, on 26 February 2014 - 02:38 PM, said:

View PostBabycat, on 26 February 2014 - 02:35 PM, said:

View Posttreeduck, on 26 February 2014 - 12:42 PM, said:

View PostBabycat, on 26 February 2014 - 03:12 AM, said:

Thank you for the tag, Duck  :smoke:  , I had to Google this guy. I don't get it.   :huh:
Well the joke is Skip is such an asshole, such an outright knobhead that he's worse than cancer!
Ah. I see. I think.
You judge for yourself!





Oh, boy......! :blink:

:lol:

Is he usually like that?  :o
He's ALWAYS like that! He was particularly annoying to me during the SAINTS bountygate saga... :eyeroll:

My jaw dropped as I heard him..!   :o
Skip is a douche!

#12 Babycat

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Posted 26 February 2014 - 03:48 PM

View Posttreeduck, on 26 February 2014 - 03:26 PM, said:

View PostBabycat, on 26 February 2014 - 03:12 PM, said:

View Posttreeduck, on 26 February 2014 - 03:11 PM, said:

View PostBabycat, on 26 February 2014 - 03:07 PM, said:

View Posttreeduck, on 26 February 2014 - 03:06 PM, said:

View PostBabycat, on 26 February 2014 - 02:50 PM, said:

View Posttreeduck, on 26 February 2014 - 02:38 PM, said:

View PostBabycat, on 26 February 2014 - 02:35 PM, said:

View Posttreeduck, on 26 February 2014 - 12:42 PM, said:

View PostBabycat, on 26 February 2014 - 03:12 AM, said:

Thank you for the tag, Duck  :smoke:  , I had to Google this guy. I don't get it.   :huh:
Well the joke is Skip is such an asshole, such an outright knobhead that he's worse than cancer!
Ah. I see. I think.
You judge for yourself!





Oh, boy......! :blink:

:lol:

Is he usually like that?  :o
He's ALWAYS like that! He was particularly annoying to me during the SAINTS bountygate saga... :eyeroll:

My jaw dropped as I heard him..!   :o
Skip is a douche!

That did kind of occur to me.

#13 treeduck

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Posted 26 February 2014 - 03:51 PM

View PostBabycat, on 26 February 2014 - 03:48 PM, said:

View Posttreeduck, on 26 February 2014 - 03:26 PM, said:

View PostBabycat, on 26 February 2014 - 03:12 PM, said:

View Posttreeduck, on 26 February 2014 - 03:11 PM, said:

View PostBabycat, on 26 February 2014 - 03:07 PM, said:

View Posttreeduck, on 26 February 2014 - 03:06 PM, said:

View PostBabycat, on 26 February 2014 - 02:50 PM, said:

View Posttreeduck, on 26 February 2014 - 02:38 PM, said:

View PostBabycat, on 26 February 2014 - 02:35 PM, said:

View Posttreeduck, on 26 February 2014 - 12:42 PM, said:

View PostBabycat, on 26 February 2014 - 03:12 AM, said:

Thank you for the tag, Duck  :smoke:  , I had to Google this guy. I don't get it.   :huh:
Well the joke is Skip is such an asshole, such an outright knobhead that he's worse than cancer!
Ah. I see. I think.
You judge for yourself!





Oh, boy......! :blink:

:lol:

Is he usually like that?  :o
He's ALWAYS like that! He was particularly annoying to me during the SAINTS bountygate saga... :eyeroll:

My jaw dropped as I heard him..!   :o
Skip is a douche!

That did kind of occur to me.
AYE!! :goodone:

:pussy: :pussy: :pussy: :pussy: :pussy: :smoke:

#14 treeduck

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Posted 26 February 2014 - 05:35 PM

I've just watched those videos those are not even Skip Bayliss at his worst those a just average every day Skip Bayliss appearances...

#15 Babycat

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Posted 27 February 2014 - 03:42 AM

View Posttreeduck, on 26 February 2014 - 05:35 PM, said:

I've just watched those videos those are not even Skip Bayliss at his worst those a just average every day Skip Bayliss appearances...

So that was mild by comparison..?

#16 softfilter

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Posted 09 March 2014 - 09:41 PM

I use to despise hearing Bayless nonstop bashing of LeBron when he was with the Cavs.  But in hindsight  after the fact he might've been right on some of his anti James rants... Still think Skip is a dick .... :outtahere:

#17 laughedatbytime

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Posted 03 December 2017 - 09:38 AM

Cancer is worse than Skip because you can always turn Skip off.

If there is a hell, though, Bayless is playing nonstop.   If not Skip himself, Katy Perry singing Skip's monologues with autotune.

#18 KenJennings

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Posted 19 December 2017 - 10:39 AM

View Posttreeduck, on 26 February 2014 - 03:11 PM, said:

He's ALWAYS like that! He was particularly annoying to me during the SAINTS bountygate saga... :eyeroll:

Well... except for the fact that he was right about the Taints.

#19 treeduck

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Posted 19 December 2017 - 12:04 PM

View PostKenJennings, on 19 December 2017 - 10:39 AM, said:

View Posttreeduck, on 26 February 2014 - 03:11 PM, said:

He's ALWAYS like that! He was particularly annoying to me during the SAINTS bountygate saga... :eyeroll:

Well... except for the fact that he was right about the Taints.
Oh yes you're one of those whiny Viqueens fans who think the Saints "stole" a Super Bowl from you. Well keep on whining, it's like music to me. :musicnote: :musicnote: :musicnote:





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