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Study: Having kids increases your life-satisfaction? Yes, if you wanted them

barney_rebel

By barney_rebel,
in New World Women

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Narps

Narps

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Makes sense to me. I couldn't imagine the misery of having kids that you didn't plan or want. We have the two and both were planned. One planned fertilization after 5 years of marriage and another when my first reached 2. Then the baby factory gets shutdown..... Planned Parenthood :sarcastic: :) Edited by Narpet
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hobo73

hobo73

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I agree ^

Can't imagine having a child when I don't want one. Luckily I always wanted to be a young mom- she was born before we planned, so yes, she was a surprise lol but she's my baby girl, I can't imagine life without her and she's my everything. she makes me happier than anyone else :)

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Mara

Mara

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I never really wanted kids and haven't had any. So I guess that makes me satisfied. :LOL:

 

Likewise. In fact I had my tubes tied prior to getting married just so I wouldn't leave anyone I might date with the idea that they could maybe change my mind about having children. It was one of my #1 criteria - must not want children, especially babies.

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Narps

Narps

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I never really wanted kids and haven't had any. So I guess that makes me satisfied. :LOL:

 

Likewise. In fact I had my tubes tied prior to getting married just so I wouldn't leave anyone I might date with the idea that they could maybe change my mind about having children. It was one of my #1 criteria - must not want children, especially babies.

I commend anyone who knows for damn sure they want no children and moves heaven and earth to make sure they have none. I have a feeling neither of my offspring will have any. If they decide to go that way, more power to em.... :)
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Janie

Janie

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Makes sense to me. I couldn't imagine the misery of having kids that you didn't plan or want. We have the two and both were planned. One planned fertilization after 5 years of marriage and another when my first reached 2. Then the baby factory gets shutdown..... Planned Parenthood :sarcastic: :)

I couldn't imagine it either... having and raising a child you didn't want. I feel worse for the child. I had a friend once who desperately wanted to get pregnant to keep a boyfriend and that boyfriend really wanted a baby but only a boy. Well, she got pregnant and was convinced she was having a boy and... you guessed it, she had a girl. I don't think I have ever seen a more un-loved child than that poor little girl.

 

We have two boys. We started late. I wanted to do the corporate thing for a while before I had kids, which was a great but then after having children, I really wished I had babies earlier. Just so I could have had more. Although the husband would have fought it the whole way. He's fine with two. I would have given that Duggar woman a run for her money.

 

I absolutely loved being pregnant and I love the newborn stage. Kids are great, IMO. I love the little buggers. Even though I have my days...

 

I'd still pop a puppy out if the husband was on board. Even in my 40s.

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ThatLightInYourEyes

ThatLightInYourEyes

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I grew up Catholic, fatherless, AND on strong medicine that screwed up my sex drive. So maybe I'm clueless when I say that having kids should involve an intense level of commitment. A lot of horror stories come from mothers who thought that having a baby (or several) would solve their problems. You're supposed to solve those problems BEFORE having kids, aren't you?
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Narps

Narps

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I grew up Catholic, fatherless, AND on strong medicine that screwed up my sex drive. So maybe I'm clueless when I say that having kids should involve an intense level of commitment. A lot of horror stories come from mothers who thought that having a baby (or several) would solve their problems. You're supposed to solve those problems BEFORE having kids, aren't you?

One would think... :)
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Mara

Mara

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See, even the idea of being pregnant absolutely makes me gag. I have a nearly pathological horror of it; it's my "recurring nightmare" and I've woken up before clutching at my stomach and panicking before realizing it was an awful dream.

 

Not only has my biological clock never started ticking - I don't think the batteries were ever installed. I have one grandmother who initially expressed some disappointment that I'm not carrying on the family line (both parents were only children and I am the only surviving grandchild), but after I asked her if she wanted to raise a baby at 85, she dropped the subject! Mom absolutely made it clear that she was done raising kids as well.

 

My husband's nephew (married) is probably the most self-centered, cheapass person I know. He makes good money but spends it only on himself. He keeps saying he wants kids! The last time the topic came up I told him, "You do realize you have to share your stuff and spend money on kids, right?"

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crimsonfrippy

crimsonfrippy

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See, even the idea of being pregnant absolutely makes me gag. I have a nearly pathological horror of it; it's my "recurring nightmare" and I've woken up before clutching at my stomach and panicking before realizing it was an awful dream.

 

Not only has my biological clock never started ticking - I don't think the batteries were ever installed. I have one grandmother who initially expressed some disappointment that I'm not carrying on the family line (both parents were only children and I am the only surviving grandchild), but after I asked her if she wanted to raise a baby at 85, she dropped the subject! Mom absolutely made it clear that she was done raising kids as well.

 

My husband's nephew (married) is probably the most self-centered, cheapass person I know. He makes good money but spends it only on himself. He keeps saying he wants kids! The last time the topic came up I told him, "You do realize you have to share your stuff and spend money on kids, right?"

 

I'm also a wuss when it comes to pain. Know I couldn't handle the whole 9 month thing...then the birth...then the stuff that comes after!

 

Not for me...guess I'm like you Mara- biological clock must be stuck on no.

Edited by crimsonfrippy
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hobo73

hobo73

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I love that the people here who don't want kids, seem to have known it and will do what it takes NOT to have any. I too have seen MANY children with parents who flatout neglect them, don't love them and don't care for them in any way. It's pathetic and I always think "man.....if you hate the kids YOU made so much, give them to me. I got enough love for your beautiful kids."

I've always been maternal, for as long as I can remember lol I'm far from the perfect mother, but my baby's healthy and I'm good. :)

I kinda wish I could be pregnant several times! (though I only want 2, 3 at VERY most.) I just loved being pregnant. The big belly made me feel beautiful lol

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Narps

Narps

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See, even the idea of being pregnant absolutely makes me gag. I have a nearly pathological horror of it; it's my "recurring nightmare" and I've woken up before clutching at my stomach and panicking before realizing it was an awful dream.

 

Not only has my biological clock never started ticking - I don't think the batteries were ever installed. I have one grandmother who initially expressed some disappointment that I'm not carrying on the family line (both parents were only children and I am the only surviving grandchild), but after I asked her if she wanted to raise a baby at 85, she dropped the subject! Mom absolutely made it clear that she was done raising kids as well.

 

My husband's nephew (married) is probably the most self-centered, cheapass person I know. He makes good money but spends it only on himself. He keeps saying he wants kids! The last time the topic came up I told him, "You do realize you have to share your stuff and spend money on kids, right?"

 

I'm also a wuss when it comes to pain. Know I couldn't handle the whole 9 month thing...then the birth...then the stuff that comes after!

 

Not for me...guess I'm like you Mara- biological clock must be stuck on no.

My son's girlfriend I have a feeling will be the same. She says now she will never have children as it would mess up her beautiful body.......
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Janie

Janie

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See, even the idea of being pregnant absolutely makes me gag. I have a nearly pathological horror of it; it's my "recurring nightmare" and I've woken up before clutching at my stomach and panicking before realizing it was an awful dream.

 

Not only has my biological clock never started ticking - I don't think the batteries were ever installed. I have one grandmother who initially expressed some disappointment that I'm not carrying on the family line (both parents were only children and I am the only surviving grandchild), but after I asked her if she wanted to raise a baby at 85, she dropped the subject! Mom absolutely made it clear that she was done raising kids as well.

 

My husband's nephew (married) is probably the most self-centered, cheapass person I know. He makes good money but spends it only on himself. He keeps saying he wants kids! The last time the topic came up I told him, "You do realize you have to share your stuff and spend money on kids, right?"

 

I'm also a wuss when it comes to pain. Know I couldn't handle the whole 9 month thing...then the birth...then the stuff that comes after!

 

Not for me...guess I'm like you Mara- biological clock must be stuck on no.

My son's girlfriend I have a feeling will be the same. She says now she will never have children as it would mess up her beautiful body.......

That's her reasoning for not having children? Wow. For the record, I love my body way more after having children. Even after having nursed both. My "girls" and my body, IMO, look better. Also, is she worried about stretch marks or something? That doesn't always happen. I never had any. And I even gained 80lbs with baby #2!

 

ETA: I continued to run the first three months into my second pregnancy but then the big belly made it too cumbersome so I stopped. I started running again a week, maybe two, after I had him and the weight eventually came off. Bodies get back into shape.

Edited by Janie
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Narps

Narps

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See, even the idea of being pregnant absolutely makes me gag. I have a nearly pathological horror of it; it's my "recurring nightmare" and I've woken up before clutching at my stomach and panicking before realizing it was an awful dream.

 

Not only has my biological clock never started ticking - I don't think the batteries were ever installed. I have one grandmother who initially expressed some disappointment that I'm not carrying on the family line (both parents were only children and I am the only surviving grandchild), but after I asked her if she wanted to raise a baby at 85, she dropped the subject! Mom absolutely made it clear that she was done raising kids as well.

 

My husband's nephew (married) is probably the most self-centered, cheapass person I know. He makes good money but spends it only on himself. He keeps saying he wants kids! The last time the topic came up I told him, "You do realize you have to share your stuff and spend money on kids, right?"

 

I'm also a wuss when it comes to pain. Know I couldn't handle the whole 9 month thing...then the birth...then the stuff that comes after!

 

Not for me...guess I'm like you Mara- biological clock must be stuck on no.

My son's girlfriend I have a feeling will be the same. She says now she will never have children as it would mess up her beautiful body.......

That's her reasoning for not having children? Wow. For the record, I love my body way more after having children. Even after having nursed both. My "girls" and my body, IMO, look better. Also, is she worried about stretch marks or something? That doesn't always happen. I never had any. And I even gained 80lbs with baby #2!

She just turned 22 and she and my son have major academia goals in mind for their lives. They I am sure will have no room for kids any time soon if ever. She did mention it messing up her body once. I totally get Mara and CFrippy when it comes to the whole pain and so forth thing. If I were a female I would probably feel the same. I am not volunteering for anything doctor or hospital related. EVER!!!! :)
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Narps

Narps

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I just love the shape of my body after having a baby- always had big hips but now they're huge. I LOVE them!!

I bet some of us would too...... :blush: :)
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Janie

Janie

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See, even the idea of being pregnant absolutely makes me gag. I have a nearly pathological horror of it; it's my "recurring nightmare" and I've woken up before clutching at my stomach and panicking before realizing it was an awful dream.

 

Not only has my biological clock never started ticking - I don't think the batteries were ever installed. I have one grandmother who initially expressed some disappointment that I'm not carrying on the family line (both parents were only children and I am the only surviving grandchild), but after I asked her if she wanted to raise a baby at 85, she dropped the subject! Mom absolutely made it clear that she was done raising kids as well.

 

My husband's nephew (married) is probably the most self-centered, cheapass person I know. He makes good money but spends it only on himself. He keeps saying he wants kids! The last time the topic came up I told him, "You do realize you have to share your stuff and spend money on kids, right?"

 

I'm also a wuss when it comes to pain. Know I couldn't handle the whole 9 month thing...then the birth...then the stuff that comes after!

 

Not for me...guess I'm like you Mara- biological clock must be stuck on no.

My son's girlfriend I have a feeling will be the same. She says now she will never have children as it would mess up her beautiful body.......

That's her reasoning for not having children? Wow. For the record, I love my body way more after having children. Even after having nursed both. My "girls" and my body, IMO, look better. Also, is she worried about stretch marks or something? That doesn't always happen. I never had any. And I even gained 80lbs with baby #2!

She just turned 22 and she and my son have major academia goals in mind for their lives. They I am sure will have no room for kids any time soon if ever. She did mention it messing up her body once. I totally get Mara and CFrippy when it comes to the whole pain and so forth thing. If I were a female I would probably feel the same. I am not volunteering for anything doctor or hospital related. EVER!!!! :)

This kind of reminds me of a funny cartoon I saw once. The question behind it was, "What hurts more? Childbirth or a kick in the balls?" And the response was, "Well, a year after giving birth, a woman will say, "Gee, I'd love to have another baby." But a man will, a year after having been kicked in the balls, never say, "Gee, I could really go for another swift kick in the nards."

Edited by Janie
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Narps

Narps

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See, even the idea of being pregnant absolutely makes me gag. I have a nearly pathological horror of it; it's my "recurring nightmare" and I've woken up before clutching at my stomach and panicking before realizing it was an awful dream.

 

Not only has my biological clock never started ticking - I don't think the batteries were ever installed. I have one grandmother who initially expressed some disappointment that I'm not carrying on the family line (both parents were only children and I am the only surviving grandchild), but after I asked her if she wanted to raise a baby at 85, she dropped the subject! Mom absolutely made it clear that she was done raising kids as well.

 

My husband's nephew (married) is probably the most self-centered, cheapass person I know. He makes good money but spends it only on himself. He keeps saying he wants kids! The last time the topic came up I told him, "You do realize you have to share your stuff and spend money on kids, right?"

 

I'm also a wuss when it comes to pain. Know I couldn't handle the whole 9 month thing...then the birth...then the stuff that comes after!

 

Not for me...guess I'm like you Mara- biological clock must be stuck on no.

My son's girlfriend I have a feeling will be the same. She says now she will never have children as it would mess up her beautiful body.......

That's her reasoning for not having children? Wow. For the record, I love my body way more after having children. Even after having nursed both. My "girls" and my body, IMO, look better. Also, is she worried about stretch marks or something? That doesn't always happen. I never had any. And I even gained 80lbs with baby #2!

She just turned 22 and she and my son have major academia goals in mind for their lives. They I am sure will have no room for kids any time soon if ever. She did mention it messing up her body once. I totally get Mara and CFrippy when it comes to the whole pain and so forth thing. If I were a female I would probably feel the same. I am not volunteering for anything doctor or hospital related. EVER!!!! :)

This kind of reminds me of a funny cartoon I saw once. The question behind it was, "What hurts more? Childbirth or a kick in the balls?" And the response was, "Well, a year after giving birth, a woman will say, "Gee, I'd love to have another baby." But a man will, a year after having been kicked in the balls, never say, "Gee, I could really go for another swift kick in the nards."

You are cute when slightly bad...... :)
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Chronos

Chronos

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I'm grateful that we somehow beat the odds. My then-girlfriend (now wife of 25 years!) uttered those dreaded words "Umm...I'm pregnant" when I was 19 and she was 18. I certainly didn't want kids ever, but I thankfully had a genuine change of heart only a few days after those life-changing words. We got married months later, and then we adopted a toddler from a hellish Romanian orphanage. We figured we'd be done at that point, but we experienced another "oops" two years later. Three kids by age 24? Snip City, baby.

 

One good thing about starting early (even if it was accidentally!) is that I was an empty nester -- and a grandpa -- at only 42. :)

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Narps

Narps

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I'm grateful that we somehow beat the odds. My then-girlfriend (now wife of 25 years!) uttered those dreaded words "Umm...I'm pregnant" when I was 19 and she was 18. I certainly didn't want kids ever, but I thankfully had a genuine change of heart only a few days after those life-changing words. We got married months later, and then we adopted a toddler from a hellish Romanian orphanage. We figured we'd be done at that point, but we experienced another "oops" two years later. Three kids by age 24? Snip City, baby.

 

One good thing about starting early (even if it was accidentally!) is that I was an empty nester -- and a grandpa -- at only 42. :)

Snip city huh ? :scared: My brothers and dad have all done it. I for one am a chicken sh*t and still "store" live ammo.... :D-13:
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Janie

Janie

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I'm grateful that we somehow beat the odds. My then-girlfriend (now wife of 25 years!) uttered those dreaded words "Umm...I'm pregnant" when I was 19 and she was 18. I certainly didn't want kids ever, but I thankfully had a genuine change of heart only a few days after those life-changing words. We got married months later, and then we adopted a toddler from a hellish Romanian orphanage. We figured we'd be done at that point, but we experienced another "oops" two years later. Three kids by age 24? Snip City, baby.

 

One good thing about starting early (even if it was accidentally!) is that I was an empty nester -- and a grandpa -- at only 42. :)

Snip city huh ? :scared: My brothers and dad have all done it. I for one am a chicken sh*t and still "store" live ammo.... :D-13:

You know what? A man is just more manly when he isn't firing blanks. Totally IMO!! I cannot stress that enough. There's just something sexy raw about a man who can make babies. Again, IMO!! My. Own. Opinion. Even if you're done making babies. It's still just sexy.
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Narps

Narps

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I'm grateful that we somehow beat the odds. My then-girlfriend (now wife of 25 years!) uttered those dreaded words "Umm...I'm pregnant" when I was 19 and she was 18. I certainly didn't want kids ever, but I thankfully had a genuine change of heart only a few days after those life-changing words. We got married months later, and then we adopted a toddler from a hellish Romanian orphanage. We figured we'd be done at that point, but we experienced another "oops" two years later. Three kids by age 24? Snip City, baby.

 

One good thing about starting early (even if it was accidentally!) is that I was an empty nester -- and a grandpa -- at only 42. :)

Snip city huh ? :scared: My brothers and dad have all done it. I for one am a chicken sh*t and still "store" live ammo.... :D-13:

You know what? A man is just more manly when he isn't firing blanks. Totally IMO!! I cannot stress that enough. There's just something sexy raw about a man who can make babies. Again, IMO!! My. Own. Opinion. Even if you're done making babies. It's still just sexy.

I agree with you 100%...... :) It is pretty damn hot.... :yes:
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