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The Crappy Novel Thread


ThatLightInYourEyes
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Not everyone likes to read, but we all like to complain about what we have read. Aside from the usual Twilight/Fifty Shades/Valley Of The Dolls suspects, what other novels suck and why? To kick off the thread, I guess I'll have to share the fact that I've started reading what is considered the "Plan 9 From Outer Space" of novels, which is available here:

 

http://www.amazon.com/Irene-Iddesleigh-Amanda-McKittrick-Ros-ebook/dp/B004UJL8BM

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I'll get the festivities started. I am one of those everyone's who doesn't like to read. I would probably critique novels about as well as I apparently do movies. :)
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To the Lighthouse—Virginia Woolf

 

Nothing happens in this book. This is literally true. I was assigned this book in college and it was torture.

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Anything that reads like a script, I avoid. Grisham, minus Painted House, for example.

 

Aside from some Michael Crichton and Neil Gaiman books, I totally agree.

 

Pamela is a crappy novel. Let's see what I can remember of it. Dude tries to rape a girl like four times. He finally decides to leave her alone and gets all mopey. She realizes just how into her he is and falls for him. He's like, "Well, okay, we can be together, but here are TWO HUNDRED RULES YOU MUST FOLLOW." She agrees and they live "happily ever after," thus showing that living a virtuous life, as the girl did by fighting him off initially and preserving her chastity, has its rewards! :facepalm:

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I'll get the festivities started. I am one of those everyone's who doesn't like to read. I would probably critique novels about as well as I apparently do movies. :)

Never a better time than now...why don't you use your potty time for something other than Popular Mechanics or Golf Digest...or knowing you-Playboy:)

 

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Hunters Of Dune and Sandworms Of Dune, by Kevin Anderson and Brian Herbert.

 

The most insipid pieces of prose I have ever read. Irrelevant side plots, redundancies galore.....a writing style that would insult the intelligence of a 12-year old. A horribly ignoble end to the Dune series. Frank Herbert would have been embarrassed to no end. He's lucky to have passed away before seeing his masterpiece destroyed.

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Anyone tried reading Life Of Pi?

 

More like Load Of Poop. And I am still waiting for that pie!

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The most insipid pieces of prose I have ever read.....a writing style that would insult the intelligence of a 12-year old.

 

Sounds like you're talking about Clockwork Angels. This makes me highly dubious of any work by Anderson.

 

Once I heard that Anderson was doing CA, I knew I wasn't going to read it. The guy is a hack.

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Anyone tried reading Life Of Pi?

 

More like Load Of Poop. And I am still waiting for that pie!

I enjoyed it. I appreciated the underlying question of perceived truth and the acceptance of myth.
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Anyone tried reading Life Of Pi?

 

More like Load Of Poop. And I am still waiting for that pie!

I enjoyed it. I appreciated the underlying question of perceived truth and the acceptance of myth.

I enjoyed it so much that I read it twice

 

I LOVED Life Of Pi. I've read it twice, too, and have recommended it to a number of people.

 

Crappy novels? Anything by Dan Brown :yes:

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Anyone tried reading Life Of Pi?

 

More like Load Of Poop. And I am still waiting for that pie!

I enjoyed it. I appreciated the underlying question of perceived truth and the acceptance of myth.

I enjoyed it so much that I read it twice

 

I LOVED Life Of Pi. I've read it twice, too, and have recommended it to a number of people.

 

Crappy novels? Anything by Dan Brown :yes:

I've only read Da Vinci Code but it was enough to not read any other Dan Brown book. It just came across to me like a pompous Hardy Boys mystery story.

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Anyone tried reading Life Of Pi?

 

More like Load Of Poop. And I am still waiting for that pie!

I enjoyed it. I appreciated the underlying question of perceived truth and the acceptance of myth.

I enjoyed it so much that I read it twice

 

I LOVED Life Of Pi. I've read it twice, too, and have recommended it to a number of people.

 

Crappy novels? Anything by Dan Brown :yes:

I've only read Da Vinci Code but it was enough to not read any other Dan Brown book. It just came across to me like a pompous Hardy Boys mystery story.

 

DaVinci Code held together just well enough to be a good book for a long plane flight. The rest of his books were contrived and transparent movie-script garbage.

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The Colordao Kid by Stephen King. I love his books but this one went absolutely nowhere.

 

Never tried that one but King, as much as I love his books, can write some clinkers.

 

Tommyknockers sucked.

The Shining...just couldn't get through it...Maybe I should try again.

The Gunslinger...went nowhere.

 

Non king....Let me see. I'd heard about this "great" book called Tea With Terrorists....what a POS.

 

Andy Summers of The Police wrote a memoir...It was Horrendous.

 

The problem I have with crappy books is that they are easy to forget. I know I've tried quite a few....just forgot about 'em.

 

EDIT:

 

Just checked in at the Books You Want To See As Movies thread and have to add the OP in that thread to this thread.

 

Geralds Game...Couldn't get through it as much good as I'd heard about it.

Edited by OGr8imL84AD8inF8sBlackSedan
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The Colordao Kid by Stephen King. I love his books but this one went absolutely nowhere.

 

Never tried that one but King, as much as I love his books, can write some clinkers.

 

Tommyknockers sucked.

The Shining...just couldn't get through it...Maybe I should try again.

The Gunslinger...went nowhere.

 

Non king....Let me see. I'd heard about this "great" book called Tea With Terrorists....what a POS.

 

Andy Summers of The Police wrote a memoir...It was Horrendous.

 

The problem I have with crappy books is that they are easy to forget. I know I've tried quite a few....just forgot about 'em.

 

EDIT:

 

Just checked in at the Books You Want To See As Movies thread and have to add the OP in that thread to this thread.

 

Geralds Game...Couldn't get through it as much good as I'd heard about it.

 

I enjoyed The Shining. And the Gunslinger is not a great book but a great intro into the Dark Tower Series.

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Anyone tried reading Life Of Pi?

 

More like Load Of Poop. And I am still waiting for that pie!

I'm with you. Couldn't get into Life of Pi at all. Maybe I'm a little bit thick and couldn't get the symbolism but I don't understand why people raved about it and nobody could give me valid reasons why it was great.

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Anyone tried reading Life Of Pi?

 

More like Load Of Poop. And I am still waiting for that pie!

I'm with you. Couldn't get into Life of Pi at all. Maybe I'm a little bit thick and couldn't get the symbolism but I don't understand why people raved about it and nobody could give me valid reasons why it was great.

On page 1, goose stated exactly why he enjoyed it. I agree with what he said. For me it simply felt like an adventure book with a sprinkle of philosophy/theology. If you tried reading it and didn't like it, fine. What kind of 'valid' reasons are you looking for?

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The Colordao Kid by Stephen King. I love his books but this one went absolutely nowhere.

 

Never tried that one but King, as much as I love his books, can write some clinkers.

 

Tommyknockers sucked.

The Shining...just couldn't get through it...Maybe I should try again.

The Gunslinger...went nowhere.

 

Non king....Let me see. I'd heard about this "great" book called Tea With Terrorists....what a POS.

 

Andy Summers of The Police wrote a memoir...It was Horrendous.

 

The problem I have with crappy books is that they are easy to forget. I know I've tried quite a few....just forgot about 'em.

 

EDIT:

 

Just checked in at the Books You Want To See As Movies thread and have to add the OP in that thread to this thread.

 

Geralds Game...Couldn't get through it as much good as I'd heard about it.

 

I enjoyed The Shining. And the Gunslinger is not a great book but a great intro into the Dark Tower Series.

 

I used to read everything he wrote, but stopped sometime around 1989 and have only read random books by him, sporadically, since.

 

The worst King I read was probably "The Dark Half." Crazy premise to begin with - an author's pseudonym comes to life and starts creating evil havoc - and it only got worse. The ending was something a writer of bad horror movies would've come up with, if he lacked all creativity and was devoid of ideas. Unsatisfying and comically bad.

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