And Now for Something Completely Different...Monty Python Thread v.2

[Citizen of the World]

Oh, Signora Ibanez, my mistake. I play for you, "My Mistake." :guitar:

will you shut that bloody dancing up!

I would like to point out that Citizen was wearing the Canadian Psychiatric Association Dinner Dance Club cuff-links.

Oh, I get the picture, eh? Well, don't worry about me, Citizeny boy. Mind if I change the record? :Alex: :Neil: :geddy:

Yeah I was listening to World War noises in four when the record stuck.

I was just thinking, you know, if it was possible for me to have my choice ... I'd prefer to be in the Women's Royal Amy Corps.

Oooh get her! Whoops! I've got your number ducky. You couldn't afford me, dear. Two three. I'd scratch your eyes out. Don't come the brigadier bit with us, dear, we all know where you've been, you military fairy. Whoops, don't look now girls the major's just minced in with that dolly colour sergeant, two, three, ooh-ho!

A good attempt there but unfortunately Citizen chose a general appraisal of the work, before getting on to the story and as you can see, he only got as far as page one of "Swann's Way", the first of seven volumes. A good try though, and very nice posture.

If Citizen doesn't get enough protein he gets very thin and his bones begin to stick out and his fins start to fall off.

He's got huge, sharp - he can leap about - look at the bones

Watch it, mate. I'm not going to stay round here getting poked and prodded all day. I'm off. :outtahere:

I'm a little bit sad and lonely

Now blackhawhrush's gone away...

I'm feeling kinda blue

Don't know just what to do

I feel a little sad today.

Good evening Citizen, my love. I have returned safe from the Low Countries. The Spaniards were defeated thrice. Six dozen chests of hardcore captured. What are thou reading, fair one? :tsk:

6,000 copies of 'Tits and Bums' and 4,000 copies of 'Shower Sheila'.

The Rush Forum would like to apologize for the poor quality of the writing in that post. It is not Rush Forum policy to get easy laughs with words like bum, knickers, botty or wee-wees.

You're rather a smart young lad aren't you? We could do with somebody like you to feed the pantomime horse. Very smart.

He's that most dangerous of animals, a clever sheep.

Yeah, well, I mean it's a) not going to respond to a nice piece of cheese and b) it isn't going to fit into a trap.

Well, er, then you steal some cheese, Brie or Camembert, or Cheddar or Gouda, if you're on the harder stuff.

[IbanezJem]

Oh, Signora Ibanez, my mistake. I play for you, "My Mistake." :guitar:

will you shut that bloody dancing up!

I would like to point out that Citizen was wearing the Canadian Psychiatric Association Dinner Dance Club cuff-links.

Oh, I get the picture, eh? Well, don't worry about me, Citizeny boy. Mind if I change the record? :Alex: :Neil: :geddy:

Yeah I was listening to World War noises in four when the record stuck.

I was just thinking, you know, if it was possible for me to have my choice ... I'd prefer to be in the Women's Royal Amy Corps.

Oooh get her! Whoops! I've got your number ducky. You couldn't afford me, dear. Two three. I'd scratch your eyes out. Don't come the brigadier bit with us, dear, we all know where you've been, you military fairy. Whoops, don't look now girls the major's just minced in with that dolly colour sergeant, two, three, ooh-ho!

A good attempt there but unfortunately Citizen chose a general appraisal of the work, before getting on to the story and as you can see, he only got as far as page one of "Swann's Way", the first of seven volumes. A good try though, and very nice posture.

If Citizen doesn't get enough protein he gets very thin and his bones begin to stick out and his fins start to fall off.

He's got huge, sharp - he can leap about - look at the bones

Watch it, mate. I'm not going to stay round here getting poked and prodded all day. I'm off. :outtahere:

I'm a little bit sad and lonely

Now blackhawhrush's gone away...

I'm feeling kinda blue

Don't know just what to do

I feel a little sad today.

Good evening Citizen, my love. I have returned safe from the Low Countries. The Spaniards were defeated thrice. Six dozen chests of hardcore captured. What are thou reading, fair one? :tsk:

6,000 copies of 'Tits and Bums' and 4,000 copies of 'Shower Sheila'.

The Rush Forum would like to apologize for the poor quality of the writing in that post. It is not Rush Forum policy to get easy laughs with words like bum, knickers, botty or wee-wees.

You're rather a smart young lad aren't you? We could do with somebody like you to feed the pantomime horse. Very smart.

He's that most dangerous of animals, a clever sheep.

Yeah, well, I mean it's a) not going to respond to a nice piece of cheese and b) it isn't going to fit into a trap.

Well, er, then you steal some cheese, Brie or Camembert, or Cheddar or Gouda, if you're on the harder stuff.

I clearly saw Citizen...doing whatever he's accused of...red-handed. When kicked, he said: 'It's a fair ... cop, I done it all...right...no doubt about...that'. Then, bound as he was to the chair, he assaulted myself and blackhawkrush while bouncing around the cell. The end.

[Citizen of the World]

Oh, Signora Ibanez, my mistake. I play for you, "My Mistake." :guitar:

will you shut that bloody dancing up!

I would like to point out that Citizen was wearing the Canadian Psychiatric Association Dinner Dance Club cuff-links.

Oh, I get the picture, eh? Well, don't worry about me, Citizeny boy. Mind if I change the record? :Alex: :Neil: :geddy:

Yeah I was listening to World War noises in four when the record stuck.

I was just thinking, you know, if it was possible for me to have my choice ... I'd prefer to be in the Women's Royal Amy Corps.

Oooh get her! Whoops! I've got your number ducky. You couldn't afford me, dear. Two three. I'd scratch your eyes out. Don't come the brigadier bit with us, dear, we all know where you've been, you military fairy. Whoops, don't look now girls the major's just minced in with that dolly colour sergeant, two, three, ooh-ho!

A good attempt there but unfortunately Citizen chose a general appraisal of the work, before getting on to the story and as you can see, he only got as far as page one of "Swann's Way", the first of seven volumes. A good try though, and very nice posture.

If Citizen doesn't get enough protein he gets very thin and his bones begin to stick out and his fins start to fall off.

He's got huge, sharp - he can leap about - look at the bones

Watch it, mate. I'm not going to stay round here getting poked and prodded all day. I'm off. :outtahere:

I'm a little bit sad and lonely

Now blackhawhrush's gone away...

I'm feeling kinda blue

Don't know just what to do

I feel a little sad today.

Good evening Citizen, my love. I have returned safe from the Low Countries. The Spaniards were defeated thrice. Six dozen chests of hardcore captured. What are thou reading, fair one? :tsk:

6,000 copies of 'Tits and Bums' and 4,000 copies of 'Shower Sheila'.

The Rush Forum would like to apologize for the poor quality of the writing in that post. It is not Rush Forum policy to get easy laughs with words like bum, knickers, botty or wee-wees.

You're rather a smart young lad aren't you? We could do with somebody like you to feed the pantomime horse. Very smart.

He's that most dangerous of animals, a clever sheep.

Yeah, well, I mean it's a) not going to respond to a nice piece of cheese and b) it isn't going to fit into a trap.

Well, er, then you steal some cheese, Brie or Camembert, or Cheddar or Gouda, if you're on the harder stuff.

I clearly saw Citizen...doing whatever he's accused of...red-handed. When kicked, he said: 'It's a fair ... cop, I done it all...right...no doubt about...that'. Then, bound as he was to the chair, he assaulted myself and blackhawkrush while bouncing around the cell. The end.

You know I think sometimes we ought to realize the difficult and often dangerous work involved in tracking down violent criminals like myself and I'd just like them to know that their fine work is at least appreciated by me.

[IbanezJem]

Sir, we all know the facts of the case; that Sapper Citizen, being in possession of expensive military equipment, to wit one Lee Enfield .303 rifle and 72 rounds of ammunition, valued at a hundred and forty pounds three shillings and sixpence, chose instead to use wet towels to take an enemy command post in the area of Basingstoke.

[blackhawkrush]

Sir, we all know the facts of the case; that Sapper Citizen, being in possession of expensive military equipment, to wit one Lee Enfield .303 rifle and 72 rounds of ammunition, valued at a hundred and forty pounds three shillings and sixpence, chose instead to use wet towels to take an enemy command post in the area of Basingstoke.

So, on July 7th, Citizen had a really good wash, starting on his face and arms he went on to scrub his torso, his legs and his naughty bits.

[Citizen of the World]

Sir, we all know the facts of the case; that Sapper Citizen, being in possession of expensive military equipment, to wit one Lee Enfield .303 rifle and 72 rounds of ammunition, valued at a hundred and forty pounds three shillings and sixpence, chose instead to use wet towels to take an enemy command post in the area of Basingstoke.

So, on July 7th, Citizen had a really good wash, starting on his face and arms he went on to scrub his torso, his legs and his naughty bits.

which were extremely naughty for his time

[blackhawkrush]

Sir, we all know the facts of the case; that Sapper Citizen, being in possession of expensive military equipment, to wit one Lee Enfield .303 rifle and 72 rounds of ammunition, valued at a hundred and forty pounds three shillings and sixpence, chose instead to use wet towels to take an enemy command post in the area of Basingstoke.

So, on July 7th, Citizen had a really good wash, starting on his face and arms he went on to scrub his torso, his legs and his naughty bits.

which were extremely naughty for his time

So-called Citizen, I put it to you that you died in December 1642. :codger:

[Citizen of the World]

Sir, we all know the facts of the case; that Sapper Citizen, being in possession of expensive military equipment, to wit one Lee Enfield .303 rifle and 72 rounds of ammunition, valued at a hundred and forty pounds three shillings and sixpence, chose instead to use wet towels to take an enemy command post in the area of Basingstoke.

So, on July 7th, Citizen had a really good wash, starting on his face and arms he went on to scrub his torso, his legs and his naughty bits.

which were extremely naughty for his time

So-called Citizen, I put it to you that you died in December 1642. :codger:

Well, isn't that extraordinary? We were just talking about death only five minutes ago.

[blackhawkrush]

Sir, we all know the facts of the case; that Sapper Citizen, being in possession of expensive military equipment, to wit one Lee Enfield .303 rifle and 72 rounds of ammunition, valued at a hundred and forty pounds three shillings and sixpence, chose instead to use wet towels to take an enemy command post in the area of Basingstoke.

So, on July 7th, Citizen had a really good wash, starting on his face and arms he went on to scrub his torso, his legs and his naughty bits.

which were extremely naughty for his time

So-called Citizen, I put it to you that you died in December 1642. :codger:

Well, isn't that extraordinary? We were just talking about death only five minutes ago.

Five, four, three, two, one, zero! Too late!

[IbanezJem]

Sir, we all know the facts of the case; that Sapper Citizen, being in possession of expensive military equipment, to wit one Lee Enfield .303 rifle and 72 rounds of ammunition, valued at a hundred and forty pounds three shillings and sixpence, chose instead to use wet towels to take an enemy command post in the area of Basingstoke.

So, on July 7th, Citizen had a really good wash, starting on his face and arms he went on to scrub his torso, his legs and his naughty bits.

which were extremely naughty for his time

So-called Citizen, I put it to you that you died in December 1642. :codger:

Well, isn't that extraordinary? We were just talking about death only five minutes ago.

Five, four, three, two, one, zero! Too late!

I'm sorry I'm late blackhawkrush, I couldn't find a kosher car park.

[Citizen of the World]

Sir, we all know the facts of the case; that Sapper Citizen, being in possession of expensive military equipment, to wit one Lee Enfield .303 rifle and 72 rounds of ammunition, valued at a hundred and forty pounds three shillings and sixpence, chose instead to use wet towels to take an enemy command post in the area of Basingstoke.

So, on July 7th, Citizen had a really good wash, starting on his face and arms he went on to scrub his torso, his legs and his naughty bits.

which were extremely naughty for his time

So-called Citizen, I put it to you that you died in December 1642. :codger:

Well, isn't that extraordinary? We were just talking about death only five minutes ago.

Five, four, three, two, one, zero! Too late!

I'm sorry I'm late blackhawkrush, I couldn't find a kosher car park.

Ah yes. It's past the post office and then left at the lights

[IbanezJem]

Sir, we all know the facts of the case; that Sapper Citizen, being in possession of expensive military equipment, to wit one Lee Enfield .303 rifle and 72 rounds of ammunition, valued at a hundred and forty pounds three shillings and sixpence, chose instead to use wet towels to take an enemy command post in the area of Basingstoke.

So, on July 7th, Citizen had a really good wash, starting on his face and arms he went on to scrub his torso, his legs and his naughty bits.

which were extremely naughty for his time

So-called Citizen, I put it to you that you died in December 1642. :codger:

Well, isn't that extraordinary? We were just talking about death only five minutes ago.

Five, four, three, two, one, zero! Too late!

I'm sorry I'm late blackhawkrush, I couldn't find a kosher car park.

Ah yes. It's past the post office and then left at the lights

There is much danger, for beyond the cave lies the Gorge of Eternal Peril, which no man has ever crossed. Edited September 18, 2019 by IbanezJem

[Citizen of the World]

Sir, we all know the facts of the case; that Sapper Citizen, being in possession of expensive military equipment, to wit one Lee Enfield .303 rifle and 72 rounds of ammunition, valued at a hundred and forty pounds three shillings and sixpence, chose instead to use wet towels to take an enemy command post in the area of Basingstoke.

So, on July 7th, Citizen had a really good wash, starting on his face and arms he went on to scrub his torso, his legs and his naughty bits.

which were extremely naughty for his time

So-called Citizen, I put it to you that you died in December 1642. :codger:

Well, isn't that extraordinary? We were just talking about death only five minutes ago.

Five, four, three, two, one, zero! Too late!

I'm sorry I'm late blackhawkrush, I couldn't find a kosher car park.

Ah yes. It's past the post office and then left at the lights

There is much danger, for beyond the cave lies the Gorge of Eternal Peril, which no man has ever crossed.

Or woman. I want to be a woman. From now on, I want you all to call me 'Loretta'.

[blackhawkrush]

Sir, we all know the facts of the case; that Sapper Citizen, being in possession of expensive military equipment, to wit one Lee Enfield .303 rifle and 72 rounds of ammunition, valued at a hundred and forty pounds three shillings and sixpence, chose instead to use wet towels to take an enemy command post in the area of Basingstoke.

So, on July 7th, Citizen had a really good wash, starting on his face and arms he went on to scrub his torso, his legs and his naughty bits.

which were extremely naughty for his time

So-called Citizen, I put it to you that you died in December 1642. :codger:

Well, isn't that extraordinary? We were just talking about death only five minutes ago.

Five, four, three, two, one, zero! Too late!

I'm sorry I'm late blackhawkrush, I couldn't find a kosher car park.

Ah yes. It's past the post office and then left at the lights

There is much danger, for beyond the cave lies the Gorge of Eternal Peril, which no man has ever crossed.

Or woman. I want to be a woman. From now on, I want you all to call me 'Loretta'.

My colleague, Dr. Ibanez, who has a similar office has explained your case to me. Mr. Loretta, as you know, I am a leading Chicago surgeon as seen on TRF. I'm afraid I'm going to have to operate. :bang bang: :cheerleader:

[IbanezJem]

Sir, we all know the facts of the case; that Sapper Citizen, being in possession of expensive military equipment, to wit one Lee Enfield .303 rifle and 72 rounds of ammunition, valued at a hundred and forty pounds three shillings and sixpence, chose instead to use wet towels to take an enemy command post in the area of Basingstoke.

So, on July 7th, Citizen had a really good wash, starting on his face and arms he went on to scrub his torso, his legs and his naughty bits.

which were extremely naughty for his time

So-called Citizen, I put it to you that you died in December 1642. :codger:

Well, isn't that extraordinary? We were just talking about death only five minutes ago.

Five, four, three, two, one, zero! Too late!

I'm sorry I'm late blackhawkrush, I couldn't find a kosher car park.

Ah yes. It's past the post office and then left at the lights

There is much danger, for beyond the cave lies the Gorge of Eternal Peril, which no man has ever crossed.

Or woman. I want to be a woman. From now on, I want you all to call me 'Loretta'.

My colleague, Dr. Ibanez, who has a similar office has explained your case to me. Mr. Loretta, as you know, I am a leading Chicago surgeon as seen on TRF. I'm afraid I'm going to have to operate. :bang bang: :cheerleader:

Ah yes - look, Mr Loretta, blackhawkrush and I are just popping out for a bite of lunch while we've got a spare moment, you know. Look, have another bash at the form, and if at least you can answer the question on history alright, then we may be able to give you some morphine or something like that, OK?

[Citizen of the World]

Sir, we all know the facts of the case; that Sapper Citizen, being in possession of expensive military equipment, to wit one Lee Enfield .303 rifle and 72 rounds of ammunition, valued at a hundred and forty pounds three shillings and sixpence, chose instead to use wet towels to take an enemy command post in the area of Basingstoke.

So, on July 7th, Citizen had a really good wash, starting on his face and arms he went on to scrub his torso, his legs and his naughty bits.

which were extremely naughty for his time

So-called Citizen, I put it to you that you died in December 1642. :codger:

Well, isn't that extraordinary? We were just talking about death only five minutes ago.

Five, four, three, two, one, zero! Too late!

I'm sorry I'm late blackhawkrush, I couldn't find a kosher car park.

Ah yes. It's past the post office and then left at the lights

There is much danger, for beyond the cave lies the Gorge of Eternal Peril, which no man has ever crossed.

Or woman. I want to be a woman. From now on, I want you all to call me 'Loretta'.

My colleague, Dr. Ibanez, who has a similar office has explained your case to me. Mr. Loretta, as you know, I am a leading Chicago surgeon as seen on TRF. I'm afraid I'm going to have to operate. :bang bang: :cheerleader:

Ah yes - look, Mr Loretta, blackhawkrush and I are just popping out for a bite of lunch while we've got a spare moment, you know. Look, have another bash at the form, and if at least you can answer the question on history alright, then we may be able to give you some morphine or something like that, OK?

You don't know the difference between the Battle of Borodino and a tiger's bum

[IbanezJem]

Sir, we all know the facts of the case; that Sapper Citizen, being in possession of expensive military equipment, to wit one Lee Enfield .303 rifle and 72 rounds of ammunition, valued at a hundred and forty pounds three shillings and sixpence, chose instead to use wet towels to take an enemy command post in the area of Basingstoke.

So, on July 7th, Citizen had a really good wash, starting on his face and arms he went on to scrub his torso, his legs and his naughty bits.

which were extremely naughty for his time

So-called Citizen, I put it to you that you died in December 1642. :codger:

Well, isn't that extraordinary? We were just talking about death only five minutes ago.

Five, four, three, two, one, zero! Too late!

I'm sorry I'm late blackhawkrush, I couldn't find a kosher car park.

Ah yes. It's past the post office and then left at the lights

There is much danger, for beyond the cave lies the Gorge of Eternal Peril, which no man has ever crossed.

Or woman. I want to be a woman. From now on, I want you all to call me 'Loretta'.

My colleague, Dr. Ibanez, who has a similar office has explained your case to me. Mr. Loretta, as you know, I am a leading Chicago surgeon as seen on TRF. I'm afraid I'm going to have to operate. :bang bang: :cheerleader:

Ah yes - look, Mr Loretta, blackhawkrush and I are just popping out for a bite of lunch while we've got a spare moment, you know. Look, have another bash at the form, and if at least you can answer the question on history alright, then we may be able to give you some morphine or something like that, OK?

You don't know the difference between the Battle of Borodino and a tiger's bum

You said you'd clean the tiger out, but do you? No, I suppose you've lost interest in it now. Now it'll be ant ant ant for a couple of days, then all of a sudden, 'Oh, Ibanez I've bought a sloth' or some other odd-toed ungulate like a tapir.

[blackhawkrush]

Sir, we all know the facts of the case; that Sapper Citizen, being in possession of expensive military equipment, to wit one Lee Enfield .303 rifle and 72 rounds of ammunition, valued at a hundred and forty pounds three shillings and sixpence, chose instead to use wet towels to take an enemy command post in the area of Basingstoke.

So, on July 7th, Citizen had a really good wash, starting on his face and arms he went on to scrub his torso, his legs and his naughty bits.

which were extremely naughty for his time

So-called Citizen, I put it to you that you died in December 1642. :codger:

Well, isn't that extraordinary? We were just talking about death only five minutes ago.

Five, four, three, two, one, zero! Too late!

I'm sorry I'm late blackhawkrush, I couldn't find a kosher car park.

Ah yes. It's past the post office and then left at the lights

There is much danger, for beyond the cave lies the Gorge of Eternal Peril, which no man has ever crossed.

Or woman. I want to be a woman. From now on, I want you all to call me 'Loretta'.

My colleague, Dr. Ibanez, who has a similar office has explained your case to me. Mr. Loretta, as you know, I am a leading Chicago surgeon as seen on TRF. I'm afraid I'm going to have to operate. :bang bang: :cheerleader:

Ah yes - look, Mr Loretta, blackhawkrush and I are just popping out for a bite of lunch while we've got a spare moment, you know. Look, have another bash at the form, and if at least you can answer the question on history alright, then we may be able to give you some morphine or something like that, OK?

You don't know the difference between the Battle of Borodino and a tiger's bum

You said you'd clean the tiger out, but do you? No, I suppose you've lost interest in it now. Now it'll be ant ant ant for a couple of days, then all of a sudden, 'Oh, Ibanez I've bought a sloth' or some other odd-toed ungulate like a tapir.

Oh yes, the Norwegian Blue. Remarkable bird beautiful plumage.

[Citizen of the World]

Sir, we all know the facts of the case; that Sapper Citizen, being in possession of expensive military equipment, to wit one Lee Enfield .303 rifle and 72 rounds of ammunition, valued at a hundred and forty pounds three shillings and sixpence, chose instead to use wet towels to take an enemy command post in the area of Basingstoke.

So, on July 7th, Citizen had a really good wash, starting on his face and arms he went on to scrub his torso, his legs and his naughty bits.

which were extremely naughty for his time

So-called Citizen, I put it to you that you died in December 1642. :codger:

Well, isn't that extraordinary? We were just talking about death only five minutes ago.

Five, four, three, two, one, zero! Too late!

I'm sorry I'm late blackhawkrush, I couldn't find a kosher car park.

Ah yes. It's past the post office and then left at the lights

There is much danger, for beyond the cave lies the Gorge of Eternal Peril, which no man has ever crossed.

Or woman. I want to be a woman. From now on, I want you all to call me 'Loretta'.

My colleague, Dr. Ibanez, who has a similar office has explained your case to me. Mr. Loretta, as you know, I am a leading Chicago surgeon as seen on TRF. I'm afraid I'm going to have to operate. :bang bang: :cheerleader:

Ah yes - look, Mr Loretta, blackhawkrush and I are just popping out for a bite of lunch while we've got a spare moment, you know. Look, have another bash at the form, and if at least you can answer the question on history alright, then we may be able to give you some morphine or something like that, OK?

You don't know the difference between the Battle of Borodino and a tiger's bum

You said you'd clean the tiger out, but do you? No, I suppose you've lost interest in it now. Now it'll be ant ant ant for a couple of days, then all of a sudden, 'Oh, Ibanez I've bought a sloth' or some other odd-toed ungulate like a tapir.

Oh yes, the Norwegian Blue. Remarkable bird beautiful plumage.

Who's the bird? You got a nice pair there haven't you love.

[blackhawkrush]

[blackhawkrush]

:tsk: Reverend Loretta, how do you find the new vicarage? Edited September 20, 2019 by blackhawkrush

[IbanezJem]

:tsk: Reverend Loretta, how do you find the new vicarage?

I inherited this religion from my father, an ex-used-car salesman and part-time window-box, and I am very proud to be in charge of the first religion with free gifts.

[Citizen of the World]

:tsk: Reverend Loretta, how do you find the new vicarage?

I inherited this religion from my father, an ex-used-car salesman and part-time window-box, and I am very proud to be in charge of the first religion with free gifts.

Ibanez...there's a man here with our Book of the Month Club dung

[IbanezJem]

:tsk: Reverend Loretta, how do you find the new vicarage?

I inherited this religion from my father, an ex-used-car salesman and part-time window-box, and I am very proud to be in charge of the first religion with free gifts.

Ibanez...there's a man here with our Book of the Month Club dung

Citizen, there's some lovely filth down here.

[Citizen of the World]

:tsk: Reverend Loretta, how do you find the new vicarage?

I inherited this religion from my father, an ex-used-car salesman and part-time window-box, and I am very proud to be in charge of the first religion with free gifts.

Ibanez...there's a man here with our Book of the Month Club dung

Citizen, there's some lovely filth down here.

It was smelly, and obscene and disgusting and I hate it, I hate it ,.. nasty, grubby, dirty, mingy, scrubby