blackhawkrush Posted May 14, 2019 Share Posted May 14, 2019 Are you nervy, irritable, depressed, tired of life. Keep it up. No, too simple, too clear cut. Damn. All right, I confess I did it. I killed him for his reservation, but you won't take me alive! I'm going to throw myself under the 10.12 from Reading.Mr. Citizen, aren't you in fact a Train Spotter? :nya nya: Well I wish to make a complaint. I got on the Bolton train and found myself deposited here in Ipswich.You want to complain. Look at these shoes. I've only had them three weeks and the heels are worn right through. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IbanezJem Posted May 14, 2019 Share Posted May 14, 2019 Are you nervy, irritable, depressed, tired of life. Keep it up. No, too simple, too clear cut. Damn. All right, I confess I did it. I killed him for his reservation, but you won't take me alive! I'm going to throw myself under the 10.12 from Reading.Mr. Citizen, aren't you in fact a Train Spotter? :nya nya: Well I wish to make a complaint. I got on the Bolton train and found myself deposited here in Ipswich.You want to complain. Look at these shoes. I've only had them three weeks and the heels are worn right through. I wear high heels, suspenders and a bra. I wish I'd been a girlie, just like my dear papa. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Citizen of the World Posted May 14, 2019 Author Share Posted May 14, 2019 Are you nervy, irritable, depressed, tired of life. Keep it up. No, too simple, too clear cut. Damn. All right, I confess I did it. I killed him for his reservation, but you won't take me alive! I'm going to throw myself under the 10.12 from Reading.Mr. Citizen, aren't you in fact a Train Spotter? :nya nya: Well I wish to make a complaint. I got on the Bolton train and found myself deposited here in Ipswich.You want to complain. Look at these shoes. I've only had them three weeks and the heels are worn right through. I wear high heels, suspenders and a bra. I wish I'd been a girlie, just like my dear papa.Well that was a bit of fun wasn't it. Ha, ha, ha. And a special good evening to you. Not just an ordinary good evening like you get from all the other posters, but a special good evening from me to you. Well, what have we got next? This is fun isn't it. Look, I'm sorry if I'm interrupting anything that any of you may be doing at home, but I want you to think of me as an old queen. Friend, ha, ha, ha. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IbanezJem Posted May 14, 2019 Share Posted May 14, 2019 Are you nervy, irritable, depressed, tired of life. Keep it up. No, too simple, too clear cut. Damn. All right, I confess I did it. I killed him for his reservation, but you won't take me alive! I'm going to throw myself under the 10.12 from Reading.Mr. Citizen, aren't you in fact a Train Spotter? :nya nya: Well I wish to make a complaint. I got on the Bolton train and found myself deposited here in Ipswich.You want to complain. Look at these shoes. I've only had them three weeks and the heels are worn right through. I wear high heels, suspenders and a bra. I wish I'd been a girlie, just like my dear papa.Well that was a bit of fun wasn't it. Ha, ha, ha. And a special good evening to you. Not just an ordinary good evening like you get from all the other posters, but a special good evening from me to you. Well, what have we got next? This is fun isn't it. Look, I'm sorry if I'm interrupting anything that any of you may be doing at home, but I want you to think of me as an old queen. Friend, ha, ha, ha.My loyal subjects, we are here today on a matter of national import. My late husband and we are increasingly disturbed by recent developments in literary style that have taken place here in Germany ... er England. There seems to be an increasing tendency for ze ent... the ent... the ant... to become the dominant ... was is der dentaches Entwiddungsbund... 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Citizen of the World Posted May 14, 2019 Author Share Posted May 14, 2019 Are you nervy, irritable, depressed, tired of life. Keep it up. No, too simple, too clear cut. Damn. All right, I confess I did it. I killed him for his reservation, but you won't take me alive! I'm going to throw myself under the 10.12 from Reading.Mr. Citizen, aren't you in fact a Train Spotter? :nya nya: Well I wish to make a complaint. I got on the Bolton train and found myself deposited here in Ipswich.You want to complain. Look at these shoes. I've only had them three weeks and the heels are worn right through. I wear high heels, suspenders and a bra. I wish I'd been a girlie, just like my dear papa.Well that was a bit of fun wasn't it. Ha, ha, ha. And a special good evening to you. Not just an ordinary good evening like you get from all the other posters, but a special good evening from me to you. Well, what have we got next? This is fun isn't it. Look, I'm sorry if I'm interrupting anything that any of you may be doing at home, but I want you to think of me as an old queen. Friend, ha, ha, ha.My loyal subjects, we are here today on a matter of national import. My late husband and we are increasingly disturbed by recent developments in literary style that have taken place here in Germany ... er England. There seems to be an increasing tendency for ze ent... the ent... the ant... to become the dominant ... was is der dentaches Entwiddungsbund...Wenn ist das Nunstrück git und Slotermeyer? Ja! .. Beiherhund das Oder die Flipperwaldt gersput! 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blackhawkrush Posted May 15, 2019 Share Posted May 15, 2019 Are you nervy, irritable, depressed, tired of life. Keep it up. No, too simple, too clear cut. Damn. All right, I confess I did it. I killed him for his reservation, but you won't take me alive! I'm going to throw myself under the 10.12 from Reading.Mr. Citizen, aren't you in fact a Train Spotter? :nya nya: Well I wish to make a complaint. I got on the Bolton train and found myself deposited here in Ipswich.You want to complain. Look at these shoes. I've only had them three weeks and the heels are worn right through. I wear high heels, suspenders and a bra. I wish I'd been a girlie, just like my dear papa.Well that was a bit of fun wasn't it. Ha, ha, ha. And a special good evening to you. Not just an ordinary good evening like you get from all the other posters, but a special good evening from me to you. Well, what have we got next? This is fun isn't it. Look, I'm sorry if I'm interrupting anything that any of you may be doing at home, but I want you to think of me as an old queen. Friend, ha, ha, ha.My loyal subjects, we are here today on a matter of national import. My late husband and we are increasingly disturbed by recent developments in literary style that have taken place here in Germany ... er England. There seems to be an increasing tendency for ze ent... the ent... the ant... to become the dominant ... was is der dentaches Entwiddungsbund...Wenn ist das Nunstrück git und Slotermeyer? Ja! .. Beiherhund das Oder die Flipperwaldt gersput!No, no, nein. I was not head of Gestapo at all...I make joke. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IbanezJem Posted May 15, 2019 Share Posted May 15, 2019 Are you nervy, irritable, depressed, tired of life. Keep it up. No, too simple, too clear cut. Damn. All right, I confess I did it. I killed him for his reservation, but you won't take me alive! I'm going to throw myself under the 10.12 from Reading.Mr. Citizen, aren't you in fact a Train Spotter? :nya nya: Well I wish to make a complaint. I got on the Bolton train and found myself deposited here in Ipswich.You want to complain. Look at these shoes. I've only had them three weeks and the heels are worn right through. I wear high heels, suspenders and a bra. I wish I'd been a girlie, just like my dear papa.Well that was a bit of fun wasn't it. Ha, ha, ha. And a special good evening to you. Not just an ordinary good evening like you get from all the other posters, but a special good evening from me to you. Well, what have we got next? This is fun isn't it. Look, I'm sorry if I'm interrupting anything that any of you may be doing at home, but I want you to think of me as an old queen. Friend, ha, ha, ha.My loyal subjects, we are here today on a matter of national import. My late husband and we are increasingly disturbed by recent developments in literary style that have taken place here in Germany ... er England. There seems to be an increasing tendency for ze ent... the ent... the ant... to become the dominant ... was is der dentaches Entwiddungsbund...Wenn ist das Nunstrück git und Slotermeyer? Ja! .. Beiherhund das Oder die Flipperwaldt gersput!No, no, nein. I was not head of Gestapo at all...I make joke. Now I'm arrestin' this entire forum on three counts: one, acts of self-conscious behaviour contrary to the 'Not in front of the children' Act, two, always saying 'It's so and so of the Yard' every time the fuzz arrives and, three, and this is the cruncher, offenses against the 'Getting out of sketches without using a proper punchline' Act, four, namely, simply ending every bleedin' sketch by just having a policeman come in and... wait a minute. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Citizen of the World Posted May 15, 2019 Author Share Posted May 15, 2019 Are you nervy, irritable, depressed, tired of life. Keep it up. No, too simple, too clear cut. Damn. All right, I confess I did it. I killed him for his reservation, but you won't take me alive! I'm going to throw myself under the 10.12 from Reading.Mr. Citizen, aren't you in fact a Train Spotter? :nya nya: Well I wish to make a complaint. I got on the Bolton train and found myself deposited here in Ipswich.You want to complain. Look at these shoes. I've only had them three weeks and the heels are worn right through. I wear high heels, suspenders and a bra. I wish I'd been a girlie, just like my dear papa.Well that was a bit of fun wasn't it. Ha, ha, ha. And a special good evening to you. Not just an ordinary good evening like you get from all the other posters, but a special good evening from me to you. Well, what have we got next? This is fun isn't it. Look, I'm sorry if I'm interrupting anything that any of you may be doing at home, but I want you to think of me as an old queen. Friend, ha, ha, ha.My loyal subjects, we are here today on a matter of national import. My late husband and we are increasingly disturbed by recent developments in literary style that have taken place here in Germany ... er England. There seems to be an increasing tendency for ze ent... the ent... the ant... to become the dominant ... was is der dentaches Entwiddungsbund...Wenn ist das Nunstrück git und Slotermeyer? Ja! .. Beiherhund das Oder die Flipperwaldt gersput!No, no, nein. I was not head of Gestapo at all...I make joke. Now I'm arrestin' this entire forum on three counts: one, acts of self-conscious behaviour contrary to the 'Not in front of the children' Act, two, always saying 'It's so and so of the Yard' every time the fuzz arrives and, three, and this is the cruncher, offenses against the 'Getting out of sketches without using a proper punchline' Act, four, namely, simply ending every bleedin' sketch by just having a policeman come in and... wait a minute.Policemen make wonderful friends. So if you are over six feet tall and would like a friend, a pen friend, in the police force, here is the address to write to: 'Mrs Ena Frog, 8 Masonic Apron Street, Cowdenbeath'. Remember - policemen make wonderful friends. So write today and take advantage of our free officer. Thank you. And now for the next post. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blackhawkrush Posted May 16, 2019 Share Posted May 16, 2019 Are you nervy, irritable, depressed, tired of life. Keep it up. No, too simple, too clear cut. Damn. All right, I confess I did it. I killed him for his reservation, but you won't take me alive! I'm going to throw myself under the 10.12 from Reading.Mr. Citizen, aren't you in fact a Train Spotter? :nya nya: Well I wish to make a complaint. I got on the Bolton train and found myself deposited here in Ipswich.You want to complain. Look at these shoes. I've only had them three weeks and the heels are worn right through. I wear high heels, suspenders and a bra. I wish I'd been a girlie, just like my dear papa.Well that was a bit of fun wasn't it. Ha, ha, ha. And a special good evening to you. Not just an ordinary good evening like you get from all the other posters, but a special good evening from me to you. Well, what have we got next? This is fun isn't it. Look, I'm sorry if I'm interrupting anything that any of you may be doing at home, but I want you to think of me as an old queen. Friend, ha, ha, ha.My loyal subjects, we are here today on a matter of national import. My late husband and we are increasingly disturbed by recent developments in literary style that have taken place here in Germany ... er England. There seems to be an increasing tendency for ze ent... the ent... the ant... to become the dominant ... was is der dentaches Entwiddungsbund...Wenn ist das Nunstrück git und Slotermeyer? Ja! .. Beiherhund das Oder die Flipperwaldt gersput!No, no, nein. I was not head of Gestapo at all...I make joke. Now I'm arrestin' this entire forum on three counts: one, acts of self-conscious behaviour contrary to the 'Not in front of the children' Act, two, always saying 'It's so and so of the Yard' every time the fuzz arrives and, three, and this is the cruncher, offenses against the 'Getting out of sketches without using a proper punchline' Act, four, namely, simply ending every bleedin' sketch by just having a policeman come in and... wait a minute.Policemen make wonderful friends. So if you are over six feet tall and would like a friend, a pen friend, in the police force, here is the address to write to: 'Mrs Ena Frog, 8 Masonic Apron Street, Cowdenbeath'. Remember - policemen make wonderful friends. So write today and take advantage of our free officer. Thank you. And now for the next post.I'd like to see more fairy stories about the police. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IbanezJem Posted May 16, 2019 Share Posted May 16, 2019 Are you nervy, irritable, depressed, tired of life. Keep it up. No, too simple, too clear cut. Damn. All right, I confess I did it. I killed him for his reservation, but you won't take me alive! I'm going to throw myself under the 10.12 from Reading.Mr. Citizen, aren't you in fact a Train Spotter? :nya nya: Well I wish to make a complaint. I got on the Bolton train and found myself deposited here in Ipswich.You want to complain. Look at these shoes. I've only had them three weeks and the heels are worn right through. I wear high heels, suspenders and a bra. I wish I'd been a girlie, just like my dear papa.Well that was a bit of fun wasn't it. Ha, ha, ha. And a special good evening to you. Not just an ordinary good evening like you get from all the other posters, but a special good evening from me to you. Well, what have we got next? This is fun isn't it. Look, I'm sorry if I'm interrupting anything that any of you may be doing at home, but I want you to think of me as an old queen. Friend, ha, ha, ha.My loyal subjects, we are here today on a matter of national import. My late husband and we are increasingly disturbed by recent developments in literary style that have taken place here in Germany ... er England. There seems to be an increasing tendency for ze ent... the ent... the ant... to become the dominant ... was is der dentaches Entwiddungsbund...Wenn ist das Nunstrück git und Slotermeyer? Ja! .. Beiherhund das Oder die Flipperwaldt gersput!No, no, nein. I was not head of Gestapo at all...I make joke. Now I'm arrestin' this entire forum on three counts: one, acts of self-conscious behaviour contrary to the 'Not in front of the children' Act, two, always saying 'It's so and so of the Yard' every time the fuzz arrives and, three, and this is the cruncher, offenses against the 'Getting out of sketches without using a proper punchline' Act, four, namely, simply ending every bleedin' sketch by just having a policeman come in and... wait a minute.Policemen make wonderful friends. So if you are over six feet tall and would like a friend, a pen friend, in the police force, here is the address to write to: 'Mrs Ena Frog, 8 Masonic Apron Street, Cowdenbeath'. Remember - policemen make wonderful friends. So write today and take advantage of our free officer. Thank you. And now for the next post.I'd like to see more fairy stories about the police. Oh really? Well, don't worry, sir - I used to suffer from short stories. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blackhawkrush Posted May 16, 2019 Share Posted May 16, 2019 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blackhawkrush Posted May 16, 2019 Share Posted May 16, 2019 Are you nervy, irritable, depressed, tired of life. Keep it up. No, too simple, too clear cut. Damn. All right, I confess I did it. I killed him for his reservation, but you won't take me alive! I'm going to throw myself under the 10.12 from Reading.Mr. Citizen, aren't you in fact a Train Spotter? :nya nya: Well I wish to make a complaint. I got on the Bolton train and found myself deposited here in Ipswich.You want to complain. Look at these shoes. I've only had them three weeks and the heels are worn right through. I wear high heels, suspenders and a bra. I wish I'd been a girlie, just like my dear papa.Well that was a bit of fun wasn't it. Ha, ha, ha. And a special good evening to you. Not just an ordinary good evening like you get from all the other posters, but a special good evening from me to you. Well, what have we got next? This is fun isn't it. Look, I'm sorry if I'm interrupting anything that any of you may be doing at home, but I want you to think of me as an old queen. Friend, ha, ha, ha.My loyal subjects, we are here today on a matter of national import. My late husband and we are increasingly disturbed by recent developments in literary style that have taken place here in Germany ... er England. There seems to be an increasing tendency for ze ent... the ent... the ant... to become the dominant ... was is der dentaches Entwiddungsbund...Wenn ist das Nunstrück git und Slotermeyer? Ja! .. Beiherhund das Oder die Flipperwaldt gersput!No, no, nein. I was not head of Gestapo at all...I make joke. Now I'm arrestin' this entire forum on three counts: one, acts of self-conscious behaviour contrary to the 'Not in front of the children' Act, two, always saying 'It's so and so of the Yard' every time the fuzz arrives and, three, and this is the cruncher, offenses against the 'Getting out of sketches without using a proper punchline' Act, four, namely, simply ending every bleedin' sketch by just having a policeman come in and... wait a minute.Policemen make wonderful friends. So if you are over six feet tall and would like a friend, a pen friend, in the police force, here is the address to write to: 'Mrs Ena Frog, 8 Masonic Apron Street, Cowdenbeath'. Remember - policemen make wonderful friends. So write today and take advantage of our free officer. Thank you. And now for the next post.I'd like to see more fairy stories about the police. Oh really? Well, don't worry, sir - I used to suffer from short stories. There's the man looking out of the window. He sees the murder. The murderer's come into the room to kill him, but he's outwitted him and he's all right. The End. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Citizen of the World Posted May 17, 2019 Author Share Posted May 17, 2019 Are you nervy, irritable, depressed, tired of life. Keep it up. No, too simple, too clear cut. Damn. All right, I confess I did it. I killed him for his reservation, but you won't take me alive! I'm going to throw myself under the 10.12 from Reading.Mr. Citizen, aren't you in fact a Train Spotter? :nya nya: Well I wish to make a complaint. I got on the Bolton train and found myself deposited here in Ipswich.You want to complain. Look at these shoes. I've only had them three weeks and the heels are worn right through. I wear high heels, suspenders and a bra. I wish I'd been a girlie, just like my dear papa.Well that was a bit of fun wasn't it. Ha, ha, ha. And a special good evening to you. Not just an ordinary good evening like you get from all the other posters, but a special good evening from me to you. Well, what have we got next? This is fun isn't it. Look, I'm sorry if I'm interrupting anything that any of you may be doing at home, but I want you to think of me as an old queen. Friend, ha, ha, ha.My loyal subjects, we are here today on a matter of national import. My late husband and we are increasingly disturbed by recent developments in literary style that have taken place here in Germany ... er England. There seems to be an increasing tendency for ze ent... the ent... the ant... to become the dominant ... was is der dentaches Entwiddungsbund...Wenn ist das Nunstrück git und Slotermeyer? Ja! .. Beiherhund das Oder die Flipperwaldt gersput!No, no, nein. I was not head of Gestapo at all...I make joke. Now I'm arrestin' this entire forum on three counts: one, acts of self-conscious behaviour contrary to the 'Not in front of the children' Act, two, always saying 'It's so and so of the Yard' every time the fuzz arrives and, three, and this is the cruncher, offenses against the 'Getting out of sketches without using a proper punchline' Act, four, namely, simply ending every bleedin' sketch by just having a policeman come in and... wait a minute.Policemen make wonderful friends. So if you are over six feet tall and would like a friend, a pen friend, in the police force, here is the address to write to: 'Mrs Ena Frog, 8 Masonic Apron Street, Cowdenbeath'. Remember - policemen make wonderful friends. So write today and take advantage of our free officer. Thank you. And now for the next post.I'd like to see more fairy stories about the police. Oh really? Well, don't worry, sir - I used to suffer from short stories. There's the man looking out of the window. He sees the murder. The murderer's come into the room to kill him, but he's outwitted him and he's all right. The End.Number thirty-one. The end. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blackhawkrush Posted May 17, 2019 Share Posted May 17, 2019 Are you nervy, irritable, depressed, tired of life. Keep it up. No, too simple, too clear cut. Damn. All right, I confess I did it. I killed him for his reservation, but you won't take me alive! I'm going to throw myself under the 10.12 from Reading.Mr. Citizen, aren't you in fact a Train Spotter? :nya nya: Well I wish to make a complaint. I got on the Bolton train and found myself deposited here in Ipswich.You want to complain. Look at these shoes. I've only had them three weeks and the heels are worn right through. I wear high heels, suspenders and a bra. I wish I'd been a girlie, just like my dear papa.Well that was a bit of fun wasn't it. Ha, ha, ha. And a special good evening to you. Not just an ordinary good evening like you get from all the other posters, but a special good evening from me to you. Well, what have we got next? This is fun isn't it. Look, I'm sorry if I'm interrupting anything that any of you may be doing at home, but I want you to think of me as an old queen. Friend, ha, ha, ha.My loyal subjects, we are here today on a matter of national import. My late husband and we are increasingly disturbed by recent developments in literary style that have taken place here in Germany ... er England. There seems to be an increasing tendency for ze ent... the ent... the ant... to become the dominant ... was is der dentaches Entwiddungsbund...Wenn ist das Nunstrück git und Slotermeyer? Ja! .. Beiherhund das Oder die Flipperwaldt gersput!No, no, nein. I was not head of Gestapo at all...I make joke. Now I'm arrestin' this entire forum on three counts: one, acts of self-conscious behaviour contrary to the 'Not in front of the children' Act, two, always saying 'It's so and so of the Yard' every time the fuzz arrives and, three, and this is the cruncher, offenses against the 'Getting out of sketches without using a proper punchline' Act, four, namely, simply ending every bleedin' sketch by just having a policeman come in and... wait a minute.Policemen make wonderful friends. So if you are over six feet tall and would like a friend, a pen friend, in the police force, here is the address to write to: 'Mrs Ena Frog, 8 Masonic Apron Street, Cowdenbeath'. Remember - policemen make wonderful friends. So write today and take advantage of our free officer. Thank you. And now for the next post.I'd like to see more fairy stories about the police. Oh really? Well, don't worry, sir - I used to suffer from short stories. There's the man looking out of the window. He sees the murder. The murderer's come into the room to kill him, but he's outwitted him and he's all right. The End.Number thirty-one. The end.No, you wouldn't want that, would you. How about a sudden ending? 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Citizen of the World Posted May 17, 2019 Author Share Posted May 17, 2019 Are you nervy, irritable, depressed, tired of life. Keep it up. No, too simple, too clear cut. Damn. All right, I confess I did it. I killed him for his reservation, but you won't take me alive! I'm going to throw myself under the 10.12 from Reading.Mr. Citizen, aren't you in fact a Train Spotter? :nya nya: Well I wish to make a complaint. I got on the Bolton train and found myself deposited here in Ipswich.You want to complain. Look at these shoes. I've only had them three weeks and the heels are worn right through. I wear high heels, suspenders and a bra. I wish I'd been a girlie, just like my dear papa.Well that was a bit of fun wasn't it. Ha, ha, ha. And a special good evening to you. Not just an ordinary good evening like you get from all the other posters, but a special good evening from me to you. Well, what have we got next? This is fun isn't it. Look, I'm sorry if I'm interrupting anything that any of you may be doing at home, but I want you to think of me as an old queen. Friend, ha, ha, ha.My loyal subjects, we are here today on a matter of national import. My late husband and we are increasingly disturbed by recent developments in literary style that have taken place here in Germany ... er England. There seems to be an increasing tendency for ze ent... the ent... the ant... to become the dominant ... was is der dentaches Entwiddungsbund...Wenn ist das Nunstrück git und Slotermeyer? Ja! .. Beiherhund das Oder die Flipperwaldt gersput!No, no, nein. I was not head of Gestapo at all...I make joke. Now I'm arrestin' this entire forum on three counts: one, acts of self-conscious behaviour contrary to the 'Not in front of the children' Act, two, always saying 'It's so and so of the Yard' every time the fuzz arrives and, three, and this is the cruncher, offenses against the 'Getting out of sketches without using a proper punchline' Act, four, namely, simply ending every bleedin' sketch by just having a policeman come in and... wait a minute.Policemen make wonderful friends. So if you are over six feet tall and would like a friend, a pen friend, in the police force, here is the address to write to: 'Mrs Ena Frog, 8 Masonic Apron Street, Cowdenbeath'. Remember - policemen make wonderful friends. So write today and take advantage of our free officer. Thank you. And now for the next post.I'd like to see more fairy stories about the police. Oh really? Well, don't worry, sir - I used to suffer from short stories. There's the man looking out of the window. He sees the murder. The murderer's come into the room to kill him, but he's outwitted him and he's all right. The End.Number thirty-one. The end.No, you wouldn't want that, would you. How about a sudden ending? Would you like to have a sixteen-ton weight dropped on top of you, blackhawkrush? 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blackhawkrush Posted May 17, 2019 Share Posted May 17, 2019 Are you nervy, irritable, depressed, tired of life. Keep it up. No, too simple, too clear cut. Damn. All right, I confess I did it. I killed him for his reservation, but you won't take me alive! I'm going to throw myself under the 10.12 from Reading.Mr. Citizen, aren't you in fact a Train Spotter? :nya nya: Well I wish to make a complaint. I got on the Bolton train and found myself deposited here in Ipswich.You want to complain. Look at these shoes. I've only had them three weeks and the heels are worn right through. I wear high heels, suspenders and a bra. I wish I'd been a girlie, just like my dear papa.Well that was a bit of fun wasn't it. Ha, ha, ha. And a special good evening to you. Not just an ordinary good evening like you get from all the other posters, but a special good evening from me to you. Well, what have we got next? This is fun isn't it. Look, I'm sorry if I'm interrupting anything that any of you may be doing at home, but I want you to think of me as an old queen. Friend, ha, ha, ha.My loyal subjects, we are here today on a matter of national import. My late husband and we are increasingly disturbed by recent developments in literary style that have taken place here in Germany ... er England. There seems to be an increasing tendency for ze ent... the ent... the ant... to become the dominant ... was is der dentaches Entwiddungsbund...Wenn ist das Nunstrück git und Slotermeyer? Ja! .. Beiherhund das Oder die Flipperwaldt gersput!No, no, nein. I was not head of Gestapo at all...I make joke. Now I'm arrestin' this entire forum on three counts: one, acts of self-conscious behaviour contrary to the 'Not in front of the children' Act, two, always saying 'It's so and so of the Yard' every time the fuzz arrives and, three, and this is the cruncher, offenses against the 'Getting out of sketches without using a proper punchline' Act, four, namely, simply ending every bleedin' sketch by just having a policeman come in and... wait a minute.Policemen make wonderful friends. So if you are over six feet tall and would like a friend, a pen friend, in the police force, here is the address to write to: 'Mrs Ena Frog, 8 Masonic Apron Street, Cowdenbeath'. Remember - policemen make wonderful friends. So write today and take advantage of our free officer. Thank you. And now for the next post.I'd like to see more fairy stories about the police. Oh really? Well, don't worry, sir - I used to suffer from short stories. There's the man looking out of the window. He sees the murder. The murderer's come into the room to kill him, but he's outwitted him and he's all right. The End.Number thirty-one. The end.No, you wouldn't want that, would you. How about a sudden ending? Would you like to have a sixteen-ton weight dropped on top of you, blackhawkrush? I've just been stabbed by your nurse. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Citizen of the World Posted May 17, 2019 Author Share Posted May 17, 2019 Are you nervy, irritable, depressed, tired of life. Keep it up. No, too simple, too clear cut. Damn. All right, I confess I did it. I killed him for his reservation, but you won't take me alive! I'm going to throw myself under the 10.12 from Reading.Mr. Citizen, aren't you in fact a Train Spotter? :nya nya: Well I wish to make a complaint. I got on the Bolton train and found myself deposited here in Ipswich.You want to complain. Look at these shoes. I've only had them three weeks and the heels are worn right through. I wear high heels, suspenders and a bra. I wish I'd been a girlie, just like my dear papa.Well that was a bit of fun wasn't it. Ha, ha, ha. And a special good evening to you. Not just an ordinary good evening like you get from all the other posters, but a special good evening from me to you. Well, what have we got next? This is fun isn't it. Look, I'm sorry if I'm interrupting anything that any of you may be doing at home, but I want you to think of me as an old queen. Friend, ha, ha, ha.My loyal subjects, we are here today on a matter of national import. My late husband and we are increasingly disturbed by recent developments in literary style that have taken place here in Germany ... er England. There seems to be an increasing tendency for ze ent... the ent... the ant... to become the dominant ... was is der dentaches Entwiddungsbund...Wenn ist das Nunstrück git und Slotermeyer? Ja! .. Beiherhund das Oder die Flipperwaldt gersput!No, no, nein. I was not head of Gestapo at all...I make joke. Now I'm arrestin' this entire forum on three counts: one, acts of self-conscious behaviour contrary to the 'Not in front of the children' Act, two, always saying 'It's so and so of the Yard' every time the fuzz arrives and, three, and this is the cruncher, offenses against the 'Getting out of sketches without using a proper punchline' Act, four, namely, simply ending every bleedin' sketch by just having a policeman come in and... wait a minute.Policemen make wonderful friends. So if you are over six feet tall and would like a friend, a pen friend, in the police force, here is the address to write to: 'Mrs Ena Frog, 8 Masonic Apron Street, Cowdenbeath'. Remember - policemen make wonderful friends. So write today and take advantage of our free officer. Thank you. And now for the next post.I'd like to see more fairy stories about the police. Oh really? Well, don't worry, sir - I used to suffer from short stories. There's the man looking out of the window. He sees the murder. The murderer's come into the room to kill him, but he's outwitted him and he's all right. The End.Number thirty-one. The end.No, you wouldn't want that, would you. How about a sudden ending? Would you like to have a sixteen-ton weight dropped on top of you, blackhawkrush? I've just been stabbed by your nurse. Me Doctor. You blackhawkrush. She Nurse. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blackhawkrush Posted May 17, 2019 Share Posted May 17, 2019 Well, things turned out all right in the end, but you mustn't ask how 'cause it's naughty. :finbar: They're all married and living quite well in a council estate near Dulwich. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Citizen of the World Posted May 17, 2019 Author Share Posted May 17, 2019 Well, things turned out all right in the end, but you mustn't ask how 'cause it's naughty. :finbar: They're all married and living quite well in a council estate near Dulwich.121, Halliwell Road, Dulwich, SE21 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IbanezJem Posted May 17, 2019 Share Posted May 17, 2019 Well, things turned out all right in the end, but you mustn't ask how 'cause it's naughty. :finbar: They're all married and living quite well in a council estate near Dulwich.121, Halliwell Road, Dulwich, SE21Oh, you must be tired. It's a long drive from Coventry, isn't it? 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Citizen of the World Posted May 17, 2019 Author Share Posted May 17, 2019 Well, things turned out all right in the end, but you mustn't ask how 'cause it's naughty. :finbar: They're all married and living quite well in a council estate near Dulwich.121, Halliwell Road, Dulwich, SE21Oh, you must be tired. It's a long drive from Coventry, isn't it?7.30 Fed cat.8.00 Breakfast.8.30 Yes (successfully).9.00 Set out on historic journey. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IbanezJem Posted May 17, 2019 Share Posted May 17, 2019 Well, things turned out all right in the end, but you mustn't ask how 'cause it's naughty. :finbar: They're all married and living quite well in a council estate near Dulwich.121, Halliwell Road, Dulwich, SE21Oh, you must be tired. It's a long drive from Coventry, isn't it?7.30 Fed cat.8.00 Breakfast.8.30 Yes (successfully).9.00 Set out on historic journey.Ah, gleetings, capitalist dog; very sorry but must inform you, you are now prisoner of People's Republic. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Citizen of the World Posted May 17, 2019 Author Share Posted May 17, 2019 Well, things turned out all right in the end, but you mustn't ask how 'cause it's naughty. :finbar: They're all married and living quite well in a council estate near Dulwich.121, Halliwell Road, Dulwich, SE21Oh, you must be tired. It's a long drive from Coventry, isn't it?7.30 Fed cat.8.00 Breakfast.8.30 Yes (successfully).9.00 Set out on historic journey.Ah, gleetings, capitalist dog; very sorry but must inform you, you are now prisoner of People's Republic. Would you like drinkee? Or game bingo? 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IbanezJem Posted May 18, 2019 Share Posted May 18, 2019 (edited) Well, things turned out all right in the end, but you mustn't ask how 'cause it's naughty. :finbar: They're all married and living quite well in a council estate near Dulwich.121, Halliwell Road, Dulwich, SE21Oh, you must be tired. It's a long drive from Coventry, isn't it?7.30 Fed cat.8.00 Breakfast.8.30 Yes (successfully).9.00 Set out on historic journey.Ah, gleetings, capitalist dog; very sorry but must inform you, you are now prisoner of People's Republic. Would you like drinkee? Or game bingo?Now, Citizen and blackhawkrush have been found rubbing linseed oil into the TRF cormorant. Some of you may feel that the cormorant does not play an important part in the life of TRF, but I would remind you that it was presented to us by the Corporation of the town of Sudbury to commemorate Empire Day, when we try to remember the names of all those from the Sudbury area who so gallantly gave their lives to keep China British. So, from now on, the cormorant is strictly out of bounds! Edited May 18, 2019 by IbanezJem 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blackhawkrush Posted May 18, 2019 Share Posted May 18, 2019 Well, things turned out all right in the end, but you mustn't ask how 'cause it's naughty. :finbar: They're all married and living quite well in a council estate near Dulwich.121, Halliwell Road, Dulwich, SE21Oh, you must be tired. It's a long drive from Coventry, isn't it?7.30 Fed cat.8.00 Breakfast.8.30 Yes (successfully).9.00 Set out on historic journey.Ah, gleetings, capitalist dog; very sorry but must inform you, you are now prisoner of People's Republic. Would you like drinkee? Or game bingo?Now, Citizen and blackhawkrush have been found rubbing linseed oil into the TRF cormorant. Some of you may feel that the cormorant does not play an important part in the life of TRF, but I would remind you that it was presented to us by the Corporation of the town of Sudbury to commemorate Empire Day, when we try to remember the names of all those from the Sudbury area who so gallantly gave their lives to keep China British. So, from now on, the cormorant is strictly out of bounds!Why is it that no one remembers the name of Johann Gambolputty...? :boohoo: 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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