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And Now for Something Completely Different...Monty Python Thread v.2


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Punchline? I don't think there's a punchline scheduled, is there? Where are we? A week 39.4 no, it's Friday, isn't it - 39.7. Oh ... here we are. Oh! Ha, ha, ha, very good. Ha, ha, ha, very good. What a good punchline. Pity we missed that.

No, the whole premise is silly and it's very badly written. I'm the senior officer here and I haven't had a funny line yet. So I'm stopping it.

All right, all right, all right, sonny. I'll tell you what. We'll do something different. I'll be a bus conductor, and you can be a really funny passenger on a bus.

What's the point of being carted around in buses surrounded by sweaty mindless oafs from Kettering and Boventry in their cloth caps and their cardigans and their transistor radios and their 'Sunday Mirrors', complaining about the tea, 'Oh they don't make it properly here do they not like at home' stopping at Majorcan bodegas, selling fish and chips and Watney's Red Barrel and calamares and two veg and sitting in cotton sun frocks squirting Timothy White's suncream all over their puffy raw swollen purulent flesh cos they 'overdid it on the first day'!

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Punchline? I don't think there's a punchline scheduled, is there? Where are we? A week 39.4 no, it's Friday, isn't it - 39.7. Oh ... here we are. Oh! Ha, ha, ha, very good. Ha, ha, ha, very good. What a good punchline. Pity we missed that.

No, the whole premise is silly and it's very badly written. I'm the senior officer here and I haven't had a funny line yet. So I'm stopping it.

All right, all right, all right, sonny. I'll tell you what. We'll do something different. I'll be a bus conductor, and you can be a really funny passenger on a bus.

What's the point of being carted around in buses surrounded by sweaty mindless oafs from Kettering and Boventry in their cloth caps and their cardigans and their transistor radios and their 'Sunday Mirrors', complaining about the tea, 'Oh they don't make it properly here do they not like at home' stopping at Majorcan bodegas, selling fish and chips and Watney's Red Barrel and calamares and two veg and sitting in cotton sun frocks squirting Timothy White's suncream all over their puffy raw swollen purulent flesh cos they 'overdid it on the first day'!

I've never even been to Spain.

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Punchline? I don't think there's a punchline scheduled, is there? Where are we? A week 39.4 no, it's Friday, isn't it - 39.7. Oh ... here we are. Oh! Ha, ha, ha, very good. Ha, ha, ha, very good. What a good punchline. Pity we missed that.

No, the whole premise is silly and it's very badly written. I'm the senior officer here and I haven't had a funny line yet. So I'm stopping it.

All right, all right, all right, sonny. I'll tell you what. We'll do something different. I'll be a bus conductor, and you can be a really funny passenger on a bus.

What's the point of being carted around in buses surrounded by sweaty mindless oafs from Kettering and Boventry in their cloth caps and their cardigans and their transistor radios and their 'Sunday Mirrors', complaining about the tea, 'Oh they don't make it properly here do they not like at home' stopping at Majorcan bodegas, selling fish and chips and Watney's Red Barrel and calamares and two veg and sitting in cotton sun frocks squirting Timothy White's suncream all over their puffy raw swollen purulent flesh cos they 'overdid it on the first day'!

I've never even been to Spain.

The label says "Zurich", sir. :huh:
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Punchline? I don't think there's a punchline scheduled, is there? Where are we? A week 39.4 no, it's Friday, isn't it - 39.7. Oh ... here we are. Oh! Ha, ha, ha, very good. Ha, ha, ha, very good. What a good punchline. Pity we missed that.

No, the whole premise is silly and it's very badly written. I'm the senior officer here and I haven't had a funny line yet. So I'm stopping it.

All right, all right, all right, sonny. I'll tell you what. We'll do something different. I'll be a bus conductor, and you can be a really funny passenger on a bus.

What's the point of being carted around in buses surrounded by sweaty mindless oafs from Kettering and Boventry in their cloth caps and their cardigans and their transistor radios and their 'Sunday Mirrors', complaining about the tea, 'Oh they don't make it properly here do they not like at home' stopping at Majorcan bodegas, selling fish and chips and Watney's Red Barrel and calamares and two veg and sitting in cotton sun frocks squirting Timothy White's suncream all over their puffy raw swollen purulent flesh cos they 'overdid it on the first day'!

I've never even been to Spain.

The label says "Zurich", sir. :huh:

I hardly think that's good enough! I think it's be more appropriate if the box bore a great red label: 'WARNING: LARK'S VOMIT!!!'

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Punchline? I don't think there's a punchline scheduled, is there? Where are we? A week 39.4 no, it's Friday, isn't it - 39.7. Oh ... here we are. Oh! Ha, ha, ha, very good. Ha, ha, ha, very good. What a good punchline. Pity we missed that.

No, the whole premise is silly and it's very badly written. I'm the senior officer here and I haven't had a funny line yet. So I'm stopping it.

All right, all right, all right, sonny. I'll tell you what. We'll do something different. I'll be a bus conductor, and you can be a really funny passenger on a bus.

What's the point of being carted around in buses surrounded by sweaty mindless oafs from Kettering and Boventry in their cloth caps and their cardigans and their transistor radios and their 'Sunday Mirrors', complaining about the tea, 'Oh they don't make it properly here do they not like at home' stopping at Majorcan bodegas, selling fish and chips and Watney's Red Barrel and calamares and two veg and sitting in cotton sun frocks squirting Timothy White's suncream all over their puffy raw swollen purulent flesh cos they 'overdid it on the first day'!

I've never even been to Spain.

The label says "Zurich", sir. :huh:

I hardly think that's good enough! I think it's be more appropriate if the box bore a great red label: 'WARNING: LARK'S VOMIT!!!'

Shut up. It's a disguise. Right! Confiscate the smutty books, Maddox. :madra:

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Punchline? I don't think there's a punchline scheduled, is there? Where are we? A week 39.4 no, it's Friday, isn't it - 39.7. Oh ... here we are. Oh! Ha, ha, ha, very good. Ha, ha, ha, very good. What a good punchline. Pity we missed that.

No, the whole premise is silly and it's very badly written. I'm the senior officer here and I haven't had a funny line yet. So I'm stopping it.

All right, all right, all right, sonny. I'll tell you what. We'll do something different. I'll be a bus conductor, and you can be a really funny passenger on a bus.

What's the point of being carted around in buses surrounded by sweaty mindless oafs from Kettering and Boventry in their cloth caps and their cardigans and their transistor radios and their 'Sunday Mirrors', complaining about the tea, 'Oh they don't make it properly here do they not like at home' stopping at Majorcan bodegas, selling fish and chips and Watney's Red Barrel and calamares and two veg and sitting in cotton sun frocks squirting Timothy White's suncream all over their puffy raw swollen purulent flesh cos they 'overdid it on the first day'!

I've never even been to Spain.

The label says "Zurich", sir. :huh:

I hardly think that's good enough! I think it's be more appropriate if the box bore a great red label: 'WARNING: LARK'S VOMIT!!!'

Shut up. It's a disguise. Right! Confiscate the smutty books, Maddox. :madra:

Stay where you are. You'll never leave this bookshop alive.

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Punchline? I don't think there's a punchline scheduled, is there? Where are we? A week 39.4 no, it's Friday, isn't it - 39.7. Oh ... here we are. Oh! Ha, ha, ha, very good. Ha, ha, ha, very good. What a good punchline. Pity we missed that.

No, the whole premise is silly and it's very badly written. I'm the senior officer here and I haven't had a funny line yet. So I'm stopping it.

All right, all right, all right, sonny. I'll tell you what. We'll do something different. I'll be a bus conductor, and you can be a really funny passenger on a bus.

What's the point of being carted around in buses surrounded by sweaty mindless oafs from Kettering and Boventry in their cloth caps and their cardigans and their transistor radios and their 'Sunday Mirrors', complaining about the tea, 'Oh they don't make it properly here do they not like at home' stopping at Majorcan bodegas, selling fish and chips and Watney's Red Barrel and calamares and two veg and sitting in cotton sun frocks squirting Timothy White's suncream all over their puffy raw swollen purulent flesh cos they 'overdid it on the first day'!

I've never even been to Spain.

The label says "Zurich", sir. :huh:

I hardly think that's good enough! I think it's be more appropriate if the box bore a great red label: 'WARNING: LARK'S VOMIT!!!'

Shut up. It's a disguise. Right! Confiscate the smutty books, Maddox. :madra:

Stay where you are. You'll never leave this bookshop alive.

It's only a bloody parking offence. :beathorse:

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Punchline? I don't think there's a punchline scheduled, is there? Where are we? A week 39.4 no, it's Friday, isn't it - 39.7. Oh ... here we are. Oh! Ha, ha, ha, very good. Ha, ha, ha, very good. What a good punchline. Pity we missed that.

No, the whole premise is silly and it's very badly written. I'm the senior officer here and I haven't had a funny line yet. So I'm stopping it.

All right, all right, all right, sonny. I'll tell you what. We'll do something different. I'll be a bus conductor, and you can be a really funny passenger on a bus.

What's the point of being carted around in buses surrounded by sweaty mindless oafs from Kettering and Boventry in their cloth caps and their cardigans and their transistor radios and their 'Sunday Mirrors', complaining about the tea, 'Oh they don't make it properly here do they not like at home' stopping at Majorcan bodegas, selling fish and chips and Watney's Red Barrel and calamares and two veg and sitting in cotton sun frocks squirting Timothy White's suncream all over their puffy raw swollen purulent flesh cos they 'overdid it on the first day'!

I've never even been to Spain.

The label says "Zurich", sir. :huh:

I hardly think that's good enough! I think it's be more appropriate if the box bore a great red label: 'WARNING: LARK'S VOMIT!!!'

Shut up. It's a disguise. Right! Confiscate the smutty books, Maddox. :madra:

Stay where you are. You'll never leave this bookshop alive.

It's only a bloody parking offence. :beathorse:

Stwike him Centuwion, vewy woughly! :tsk:

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Punchline? I don't think there's a punchline scheduled, is there? Where are we? A week 39.4 no, it's Friday, isn't it - 39.7. Oh ... here we are. Oh! Ha, ha, ha, very good. Ha, ha, ha, very good. What a good punchline. Pity we missed that.

No, the whole premise is silly and it's very badly written. I'm the senior officer here and I haven't had a funny line yet. So I'm stopping it.

All right, all right, all right, sonny. I'll tell you what. We'll do something different. I'll be a bus conductor, and you can be a really funny passenger on a bus.

What's the point of being carted around in buses surrounded by sweaty mindless oafs from Kettering and Boventry in their cloth caps and their cardigans and their transistor radios and their 'Sunday Mirrors', complaining about the tea, 'Oh they don't make it properly here do they not like at home' stopping at Majorcan bodegas, selling fish and chips and Watney's Red Barrel and calamares and two veg and sitting in cotton sun frocks squirting Timothy White's suncream all over their puffy raw swollen purulent flesh cos they 'overdid it on the first day'!

I've never even been to Spain.

The label says "Zurich", sir. :huh:

I hardly think that's good enough! I think it's be more appropriate if the box bore a great red label: 'WARNING: LARK'S VOMIT!!!'

Shut up. It's a disguise. Right! Confiscate the smutty books, Maddox. :madra:

Stay where you are. You'll never leave this bookshop alive.

It's only a bloody parking offence. :beathorse:

Stwike him Centuwion, vewy woughly! :tsk:

I'll smack your little botty. :blush:

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Punchline? I don't think there's a punchline scheduled, is there? Where are we? A week 39.4 no, it's Friday, isn't it - 39.7. Oh ... here we are. Oh! Ha, ha, ha, very good. Ha, ha, ha, very good. What a good punchline. Pity we missed that.

No, the whole premise is silly and it's very badly written. I'm the senior officer here and I haven't had a funny line yet. So I'm stopping it.

All right, all right, all right, sonny. I'll tell you what. We'll do something different. I'll be a bus conductor, and you can be a really funny passenger on a bus.

What's the point of being carted around in buses surrounded by sweaty mindless oafs from Kettering and Boventry in their cloth caps and their cardigans and their transistor radios and their 'Sunday Mirrors', complaining about the tea, 'Oh they don't make it properly here do they not like at home' stopping at Majorcan bodegas, selling fish and chips and Watney's Red Barrel and calamares and two veg and sitting in cotton sun frocks squirting Timothy White's suncream all over their puffy raw swollen purulent flesh cos they 'overdid it on the first day'!

I've never even been to Spain.

The label says "Zurich", sir. :huh:

I hardly think that's good enough! I think it's be more appropriate if the box bore a great red label: 'WARNING: LARK'S VOMIT!!!'

Shut up. It's a disguise. Right! Confiscate the smutty books, Maddox. :madra:

Stay where you are. You'll never leave this bookshop alive.

It's only a bloody parking offence. :beathorse:

Stwike him Centuwion, vewy woughly! :tsk:

I'll smack your little botty. :blush:

Dear Sir, I object strongly to the posts on your thread. They are clearly not written by the general public and are merely included for a cheap laugh. Yours sincerely etc., William Knickers.

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Punchline? I don't think there's a punchline scheduled, is there? Where are we? A week 39.4 no, it's Friday, isn't it - 39.7. Oh ... here we are. Oh! Ha, ha, ha, very good. Ha, ha, ha, very good. What a good punchline. Pity we missed that.

No, the whole premise is silly and it's very badly written. I'm the senior officer here and I haven't had a funny line yet. So I'm stopping it.

All right, all right, all right, sonny. I'll tell you what. We'll do something different. I'll be a bus conductor, and you can be a really funny passenger on a bus.

What's the point of being carted around in buses surrounded by sweaty mindless oafs from Kettering and Boventry in their cloth caps and their cardigans and their transistor radios and their 'Sunday Mirrors', complaining about the tea, 'Oh they don't make it properly here do they not like at home' stopping at Majorcan bodegas, selling fish and chips and Watney's Red Barrel and calamares and two veg and sitting in cotton sun frocks squirting Timothy White's suncream all over their puffy raw swollen purulent flesh cos they 'overdid it on the first day'!

I've never even been to Spain.

The label says "Zurich", sir. :huh:

I hardly think that's good enough! I think it's be more appropriate if the box bore a great red label: 'WARNING: LARK'S VOMIT!!!'

Shut up. It's a disguise. Right! Confiscate the smutty books, Maddox. :madra:

Stay where you are. You'll never leave this bookshop alive.

It's only a bloody parking offence. :beathorse:

Stwike him Centuwion, vewy woughly! :tsk:

I'll smack your little botty. :blush:

Dear Sir, I object strongly to the posts on your thread. They are clearly not written by the general public and are merely included for a cheap laugh. Yours sincerely etc., William Knickers.

Oh dear, that'll be the Cheap-Laughs from next door.

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Punchline? I don't think there's a punchline scheduled, is there? Where are we? A week 39.4 no, it's Friday, isn't it - 39.7. Oh ... here we are. Oh! Ha, ha, ha, very good. Ha, ha, ha, very good. What a good punchline. Pity we missed that.

No, the whole premise is silly and it's very badly written. I'm the senior officer here and I haven't had a funny line yet. So I'm stopping it.

All right, all right, all right, sonny. I'll tell you what. We'll do something different. I'll be a bus conductor, and you can be a really funny passenger on a bus.

What's the point of being carted around in buses surrounded by sweaty mindless oafs from Kettering and Boventry in their cloth caps and their cardigans and their transistor radios and their 'Sunday Mirrors', complaining about the tea, 'Oh they don't make it properly here do they not like at home' stopping at Majorcan bodegas, selling fish and chips and Watney's Red Barrel and calamares and two veg and sitting in cotton sun frocks squirting Timothy White's suncream all over their puffy raw swollen purulent flesh cos they 'overdid it on the first day'!

I've never even been to Spain.

The label says "Zurich", sir. :huh:

I hardly think that's good enough! I think it's be more appropriate if the box bore a great red label: 'WARNING: LARK'S VOMIT!!!'

Shut up. It's a disguise. Right! Confiscate the smutty books, Maddox. :madra:

Stay where you are. You'll never leave this bookshop alive.

It's only a bloody parking offence. :beathorse:

Stwike him Centuwion, vewy woughly! :tsk:

I'll smack your little botty. :blush:

Dear Sir, I object strongly to the posts on your thread. They are clearly not written by the general public and are merely included for a cheap laugh. Yours sincerely etc., William Knickers.

Oh dear, that'll be the Cheap-Laughs from next door.

And now for the fish - the fish down the trousers. :eh: It's your laugh mate it's not mine. It's your trousers - not my trousers...

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Punchline? I don't think there's a punchline scheduled, is there? Where are we? A week 39.4 no, it's Friday, isn't it - 39.7. Oh ... here we are. Oh! Ha, ha, ha, very good. Ha, ha, ha, very good. What a good punchline. Pity we missed that.

No, the whole premise is silly and it's very badly written. I'm the senior officer here and I haven't had a funny line yet. So I'm stopping it.

All right, all right, all right, sonny. I'll tell you what. We'll do something different. I'll be a bus conductor, and you can be a really funny passenger on a bus.

What's the point of being carted around in buses surrounded by sweaty mindless oafs from Kettering and Boventry in their cloth caps and their cardigans and their transistor radios and their 'Sunday Mirrors', complaining about the tea, 'Oh they don't make it properly here do they not like at home' stopping at Majorcan bodegas, selling fish and chips and Watney's Red Barrel and calamares and two veg and sitting in cotton sun frocks squirting Timothy White's suncream all over their puffy raw swollen purulent flesh cos they 'overdid it on the first day'!

I've never even been to Spain.

The label says "Zurich", sir. :huh:

I hardly think that's good enough! I think it's be more appropriate if the box bore a great red label: 'WARNING: LARK'S VOMIT!!!'

Shut up. It's a disguise. Right! Confiscate the smutty books, Maddox. :madra:

Stay where you are. You'll never leave this bookshop alive.

It's only a bloody parking offence. :beathorse:

Stwike him Centuwion, vewy woughly! :tsk:

I'll smack your little botty. :blush:

Dear Sir, I object strongly to the posts on your thread. They are clearly not written by the general public and are merely included for a cheap laugh. Yours sincerely etc., William Knickers.

Oh dear, that'll be the Cheap-Laughs from next door.

And now for the fish - the fish down the trousers. :eh: It's your laugh mate it's not mine. It's your trousers - not my trousers...

It was a most elusive fish
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Punchline? I don't think there's a punchline scheduled, is there? Where are we? A week 39.4 no, it's Friday, isn't it - 39.7. Oh ... here we are. Oh! Ha, ha, ha, very good. Ha, ha, ha, very good. What a good punchline. Pity we missed that.

No, the whole premise is silly and it's very badly written. I'm the senior officer here and I haven't had a funny line yet. So I'm stopping it.

All right, all right, all right, sonny. I'll tell you what. We'll do something different. I'll be a bus conductor, and you can be a really funny passenger on a bus.

What's the point of being carted around in buses surrounded by sweaty mindless oafs from Kettering and Boventry in their cloth caps and their cardigans and their transistor radios and their 'Sunday Mirrors', complaining about the tea, 'Oh they don't make it properly here do they not like at home' stopping at Majorcan bodegas, selling fish and chips and Watney's Red Barrel and calamares and two veg and sitting in cotton sun frocks squirting Timothy White's suncream all over their puffy raw swollen purulent flesh cos they 'overdid it on the first day'!

I've never even been to Spain.

The label says "Zurich", sir. :huh:

I hardly think that's good enough! I think it's be more appropriate if the box bore a great red label: 'WARNING: LARK'S VOMIT!!!'

Shut up. It's a disguise. Right! Confiscate the smutty books, Maddox. :madra:

Stay where you are. You'll never leave this bookshop alive.

It's only a bloody parking offence. :beathorse:

Stwike him Centuwion, vewy woughly! :tsk:

I'll smack your little botty. :blush:

Dear Sir, I object strongly to the posts on your thread. They are clearly not written by the general public and are merely included for a cheap laugh. Yours sincerely etc., William Knickers.

Oh dear, that'll be the Cheap-Laughs from next door.

And now for the fish - the fish down the trousers. :eh: It's your laugh mate it's not mine. It's your trousers - not my trousers...

It was a most elusive fish

:no: Hey, look. Howard's being eaten.

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Punchline? I don't think there's a punchline scheduled, is there? Where are we? A week 39.4 no, it's Friday, isn't it - 39.7. Oh ... here we are. Oh! Ha, ha, ha, very good. Ha, ha, ha, very good. What a good punchline. Pity we missed that.

No, the whole premise is silly and it's very badly written. I'm the senior officer here and I haven't had a funny line yet. So I'm stopping it.

All right, all right, all right, sonny. I'll tell you what. We'll do something different. I'll be a bus conductor, and you can be a really funny passenger on a bus.

What's the point of being carted around in buses surrounded by sweaty mindless oafs from Kettering and Boventry in their cloth caps and their cardigans and their transistor radios and their 'Sunday Mirrors', complaining about the tea, 'Oh they don't make it properly here do they not like at home' stopping at Majorcan bodegas, selling fish and chips and Watney's Red Barrel and calamares and two veg and sitting in cotton sun frocks squirting Timothy White's suncream all over their puffy raw swollen purulent flesh cos they 'overdid it on the first day'!

I've never even been to Spain.

The label says "Zurich", sir. :huh:

I hardly think that's good enough! I think it's be more appropriate if the box bore a great red label: 'WARNING: LARK'S VOMIT!!!'

Shut up. It's a disguise. Right! Confiscate the smutty books, Maddox. :madra:

Stay where you are. You'll never leave this bookshop alive.

It's only a bloody parking offence. :beathorse:

Stwike him Centuwion, vewy woughly! :tsk:

I'll smack your little botty. :blush:

Dear Sir, I object strongly to the posts on your thread. They are clearly not written by the general public and are merely included for a cheap laugh. Yours sincerely etc., William Knickers.

Oh dear, that'll be the Cheap-Laughs from next door.

And now for the fish - the fish down the trousers. :eh: It's your laugh mate it's not mine. It's your trousers - not my trousers...

It was a most elusive fish

:no: Hey, look. Howard's being eaten.

Yes, yes, I see that ... well to be quite frank, I like my meat a little more lean. I'd rather eat Hodges.
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Punchline? I don't think there's a punchline scheduled, is there? Where are we? A week 39.4 no, it's Friday, isn't it - 39.7. Oh ... here we are. Oh! Ha, ha, ha, very good. Ha, ha, ha, very good. What a good punchline. Pity we missed that.

No, the whole premise is silly and it's very badly written. I'm the senior officer here and I haven't had a funny line yet. So I'm stopping it.

All right, all right, all right, sonny. I'll tell you what. We'll do something different. I'll be a bus conductor, and you can be a really funny passenger on a bus.

What's the point of being carted around in buses surrounded by sweaty mindless oafs from Kettering and Boventry in their cloth caps and their cardigans and their transistor radios and their 'Sunday Mirrors', complaining about the tea, 'Oh they don't make it properly here do they not like at home' stopping at Majorcan bodegas, selling fish and chips and Watney's Red Barrel and calamares and two veg and sitting in cotton sun frocks squirting Timothy White's suncream all over their puffy raw swollen purulent flesh cos they 'overdid it on the first day'!

I've never even been to Spain.

The label says "Zurich", sir. :huh:

I hardly think that's good enough! I think it's be more appropriate if the box bore a great red label: 'WARNING: LARK'S VOMIT!!!'

Shut up. It's a disguise. Right! Confiscate the smutty books, Maddox. :madra:

Stay where you are. You'll never leave this bookshop alive.

It's only a bloody parking offence. :beathorse:

Stwike him Centuwion, vewy woughly! :tsk:

I'll smack your little botty. :blush:

Dear Sir, I object strongly to the posts on your thread. They are clearly not written by the general public and are merely included for a cheap laugh. Yours sincerely etc., William Knickers.

Oh dear, that'll be the Cheap-Laughs from next door.

And now for the fish - the fish down the trousers. :eh: It's your laugh mate it's not mine. It's your trousers - not my trousers...

It was a most elusive fish

:no: Hey, look. Howard's being eaten.

Yes, yes, I see that ... well to be quite frank, I like my meat a little more lean. I'd rather eat Hodges.

It's a nice name. Robin Day's got a hedgehog called Frank.

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Punchline? I don't think there's a punchline scheduled, is there? Where are we? A week 39.4 no, it's Friday, isn't it - 39.7. Oh ... here we are. Oh! Ha, ha, ha, very good. Ha, ha, ha, very good. What a good punchline. Pity we missed that.

No, the whole premise is silly and it's very badly written. I'm the senior officer here and I haven't had a funny line yet. So I'm stopping it.

All right, all right, all right, sonny. I'll tell you what. We'll do something different. I'll be a bus conductor, and you can be a really funny passenger on a bus.

What's the point of being carted around in buses surrounded by sweaty mindless oafs from Kettering and Boventry in their cloth caps and their cardigans and their transistor radios and their 'Sunday Mirrors', complaining about the tea, 'Oh they don't make it properly here do they not like at home' stopping at Majorcan bodegas, selling fish and chips and Watney's Red Barrel and calamares and two veg and sitting in cotton sun frocks squirting Timothy White's suncream all over their puffy raw swollen purulent flesh cos they 'overdid it on the first day'!

I've never even been to Spain.

The label says "Zurich", sir. :huh:

I hardly think that's good enough! I think it's be more appropriate if the box bore a great red label: 'WARNING: LARK'S VOMIT!!!'

Shut up. It's a disguise. Right! Confiscate the smutty books, Maddox. :madra:

Stay where you are. You'll never leave this bookshop alive.

It's only a bloody parking offence. :beathorse:

Stwike him Centuwion, vewy woughly! :tsk:

I'll smack your little botty. :blush:

Dear Sir, I object strongly to the posts on your thread. They are clearly not written by the general public and are merely included for a cheap laugh. Yours sincerely etc., William Knickers.

Oh dear, that'll be the Cheap-Laughs from next door.

And now for the fish - the fish down the trousers. :eh: It's your laugh mate it's not mine. It's your trousers - not my trousers...

It was a most elusive fish

:no: Hey, look. Howard's being eaten.

Yes, yes, I see that ... well to be quite frank, I like my meat a little more lean. I'd rather eat Hodges.

It's a nice name. Robin Day's got a hedgehog called Frank.

he was convinced that he was being watched by a giant hedgehog whom he referred to as Spiny Norman
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Punchline? I don't think there's a punchline scheduled, is there? Where are we? A week 39.4 no, it's Friday, isn't it - 39.7. Oh ... here we are. Oh! Ha, ha, ha, very good. Ha, ha, ha, very good. What a good punchline. Pity we missed that.

No, the whole premise is silly and it's very badly written. I'm the senior officer here and I haven't had a funny line yet. So I'm stopping it.

All right, all right, all right, sonny. I'll tell you what. We'll do something different. I'll be a bus conductor, and you can be a really funny passenger on a bus.

What's the point of being carted around in buses surrounded by sweaty mindless oafs from Kettering and Boventry in their cloth caps and their cardigans and their transistor radios and their 'Sunday Mirrors', complaining about the tea, 'Oh they don't make it properly here do they not like at home' stopping at Majorcan bodegas, selling fish and chips and Watney's Red Barrel and calamares and two veg and sitting in cotton sun frocks squirting Timothy White's suncream all over their puffy raw swollen purulent flesh cos they 'overdid it on the first day'!

I've never even been to Spain.

The label says "Zurich", sir. :huh:

I hardly think that's good enough! I think it's be more appropriate if the box bore a great red label: 'WARNING: LARK'S VOMIT!!!'

Shut up. It's a disguise. Right! Confiscate the smutty books, Maddox. :madra:

Stay where you are. You'll never leave this bookshop alive.

It's only a bloody parking offence. :beathorse:

Stwike him Centuwion, vewy woughly! :tsk:

I'll smack your little botty. :blush:

Dear Sir, I object strongly to the posts on your thread. They are clearly not written by the general public and are merely included for a cheap laugh. Yours sincerely etc., William Knickers.

Oh dear, that'll be the Cheap-Laughs from next door.

And now for the fish - the fish down the trousers. :eh: It's your laugh mate it's not mine. It's your trousers - not my trousers...

It was a most elusive fish

:no: Hey, look. Howard's being eaten.

Yes, yes, I see that ... well to be quite frank, I like my meat a little more lean. I'd rather eat Hodges.

It's a nice name. Robin Day's got a hedgehog called Frank.

he was convinced that he was being watched by a giant hedgehog whom he referred to as Spiny Norman

What d'you want one of them for! I'm not going to clean it out. You said you'd clean the tiger out, but do you? No, I suppose you've lost interest in it now. Now it'll be ant ant ant for a couple of days, then all of a sudden, 'oh, mum, I've bought a sloth' or some other odd-toed ungulate like a tapir.

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Mr. Bartlett, I fail to see the relevance of your last witness. :wtf:

 

A Mr Barklit, to see you, sir. Barr-at-elett ... Barkit...Baffle... Bartlett... A Mr Bartlett to see you, sir.

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Mr. Bartlett, I fail to see the relevance of your last witness. :wtf:

 

A Mr Barklit, to see you, sir. Barr-at-elett ... Barkit...Baffle... Bartlett... A Mr Bartlett to see you, sir.

:bitchslap: I certainly wouldn't say that I was stuck in a rut.

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Mr. Bartlett, I fail to see the relevance of your last witness. :wtf:

 

A Mr Barklit, to see you, sir. Barr-at-elett ... Barkit...Baffle... Bartlett... A Mr Bartlett to see you, sir.

:bitchslap: I certainly wouldn't say that I was stuck in a rut.

I don't get a million dollars to act out of a trench. I played Miss St John the Baptist in a trench, and I played Miss Napoleon Bonaparte in a trench, and I played Miss Alexander Fleming in a furrow so if you want this scene played out of a trench, well you just get yourself a goddamn stuntman.
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Mr. Bartlett, I fail to see the relevance of your last witness. :wtf:

 

A Mr Barklit, to see you, sir. Barr-at-elett ... Barkit...Baffle... Bartlett... A Mr Bartlett to see you, sir.

:bitchslap: I certainly wouldn't say that I was stuck in a rut.

I don't get a million dollars to act out of a trench. I played Miss St John the Baptist in a trench, and I played Miss Napoleon Bonaparte in a trench, and I played Miss Alexander Fleming in a furrow so if you want this scene played out of a trench, well you just get yourself a goddamn stuntman.

What? It's acting innit? Well, I'm a plumber. I can't act. :hug2: :unsure: :hug2:

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Mr. Bartlett, I fail to see the relevance of your last witness. :wtf:

 

A Mr Barklit, to see you, sir. Barr-at-elett ... Barkit...Baffle... Bartlett... A Mr Bartlett to see you, sir.

:bitchslap: I certainly wouldn't say that I was stuck in a rut.

I don't get a million dollars to act out of a trench. I played Miss St John the Baptist in a trench, and I played Miss Napoleon Bonaparte in a trench, and I played Miss Alexander Fleming in a furrow so if you want this scene played out of a trench, well you just get yourself a goddamn stuntman.

What? It's acting innit? Well, I'm a plumber. I can't act. :hug2: :unsure: :hug2:

And now the moment you have been waiting for! Your chance to be like Sir Lawrence Olivier, Sir Alec Guiness, and Laurence Harvey in the privacy of your own living room. Yes, all you need is this record and the script supplied with it and you too can be a great actor.
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Mr. Bartlett, I fail to see the relevance of your last witness. :wtf:

 

A Mr Barklit, to see you, sir. Barr-at-elett ... Barkit...Baffle... Bartlett... A Mr Bartlett to see you, sir.

:bitchslap: I certainly wouldn't say that I was stuck in a rut.

I don't get a million dollars to act out of a trench. I played Miss St John the Baptist in a trench, and I played Miss Napoleon Bonaparte in a trench, and I played Miss Alexander Fleming in a furrow so if you want this scene played out of a trench, well you just get yourself a goddamn stuntman.

What? It's acting innit? Well, I'm a plumber. I can't act. :hug2: :unsure: :hug2:

And now the moment you have been waiting for! Your chance to be like Sir Lawrence Olivier, Sir Alec Guiness, and Laurence Harvey in the privacy of your own living room. Yes, all you need is this record and the script supplied with it and you too can be a great actor.

Come on you dogs, we have time to lose, this has gone too far. :ebert:

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