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What would you do...


Lorraine
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What would you do if you could go back to a point in time and begin again? Would you do as you did, or would you do things differently?

 

If I could go back, I would be the biggest nerd in school with my nose to the grindstone and gone out into the world and made something worthwhile of myself.

 

What did I do instead? Somehow I thought I would never get old and be young forever. I don't know whatever gave me that idea. Maybe it was too many tragedies in my life that turned toward being a professional good time gal.

 

Must've been the Woodstock thread that made me so nostalgic. :eyeroll:

Edited by Lorraine
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Everything I've been through has made me into the strong woman I am today, no need for me to dwell and look back/regret things. Wouldn't change it! =]
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Everything I've been through has made me into the strong woman I am today, no need for me to dwell and look back/regret things. Wouldn't change it! =]

 

But that's not what I am asking. I can say the same thing about my life. You either fold up and fade away, or you deal with it and go on.

 

What I am asking is: if you could go back to a point in your life and change the direction, how would you change it?

 

Hobo, maybe you are too young. I will check back with you in thirty years. :codger: ;)

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I would like to go back to about 1980 and know what I know now. I'd stay in college then and learn computer programming like they told us in school. I spent a lot of years playing in bands that never really went anywhere. I'd also attend every Rush concert I could afford. I pretty much missed the entire synth era. Edited by EagleMoon
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If I could go back to 1995 or so, I would have fought with everything in me to hold onto a girl with whom I was truly, madly, deeply in love. I had the perfect opportunity and she loved me, too, but I never had any balls when it came to that kind of thing. Instead, she married the weird douche that she was seeing before there was me, and they were divorced within a couple of years.

 

Then again, if I had done that and been successful, it's very likely that within a couple of years, I would have ruined our relationship with my alcoholism. I've thought about that several hundred times. So it's all in how you look at things.

 

By contrast, I am happily married today to a woman who never had to live with me when I was like that, I'm fifteen years sober, and we have the two greatest, healthiest kids on Earth.

 

 

One thing I would have done is been closer to more people on my day's side of our family (it's huge) before so many of them passed away. There are still quite a few around, but...just sayin', if I could go back to an earlier time in my life and be a little different...

 

Maybe I wouldn't have moved to Indianapolis (even though I don't necessarily regret that)...that's related to the initial entry in my post, here. I was only there a year and a half and then came back to my starting point. It just took me a hell of a long time to start over again.

Edited by Blue J
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Oh finally, now that a bloke has responded, I can respond as well.

 

If I were to go back in time, I would turn back around probably 2007 around the time I started listening to Rock Music. No wait, strike that, 2004. That way I would get my 12-year old self to listen and buy Alter Bridge's One Day Remains album and get suck in right away. Also, I would try to get into Rush, the moment, WWE's PPV Summerslam 2004 released the news that their theme song was Rush's Summertime Blues. That way, I would to avoid the nu-metal and post-grunge bands that kinda plagued me during high school (Saliva, Disturbed, Seether, Nickelback, and Limp Bizkit) and I get myself hyped up for Snakes and Arrows and go to their show at the Nokia Theater (especially, since I had a connection that might get me tickets).

 

Also, back when I was about to graduate in 2010, I should have told myself then that you should become an accountant so that you can be more aware of the circulation of how people spend their money and, maybe, one day, you might be an accountant for a band that reach super-stardom with a lot of integrity and you were a main reason that happened because of that.

 

One last thing I would do. Probably, to try to work things out a person I had a lot of respect and admiration for. Probably should have chosen my words more thoroughly and easier to understand, so that she does not have any sort of misunderstanding that led to that dynamic being broken. I also should have given her the space she needed as oppose to trying to be more persistent in getting a conversation going, come hell or high water. Sigh...., I'm a moron at times, looking back to all of this. Oh well, at least, things are moving in the right direction, for now.

Edited by Anguyen92
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There are isolated events that I would like to do over again. There was a woman I met when I was in Denmark that I avoided the next time I saw her because I didn't want to cheat on my girlfriend at the time. I ended up dumping her a few weeks after I returned, so it probably wouldn't have made a difference if I did hook up with the woman in Denmark. :(

 

I wish I wish I would have put down the phone when I was backing into the parking spot at work last year. :(

 

But if I had it all to do over again, I don't know if it would have turned out any better than it has. I have a beautiful wife who brought three beautiful kids into the world with me. I have a decent job and a nice home. There is no guarantee that I would do any better if I got another crack at it.

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There are isolated events that I would like to do over again. There was a woman I met when I was in Denmark that I avoided the next time I saw her because I didn't want to cheat on my girlfriend at the time. I ended up dumping her a few weeks after I returned, so it probably wouldn't have made a difference if I did hook up with the woman in Denmark. :(

 

I wish I wish I would have put down the phone when I was backing into the parking spot at work last year. :(

 

But if I had it all to do over again, I don't know if it would have turned out any better than it has. I have a beautiful wife who brought three beautiful kids into the world with me. I have a decent job and a nice home. There is no guarantee that I would do any better if I got another crack at it.

Well put. I'm not willing to risk what I have now to change anything in my past.

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I would definitely avoid going down the street to play "Kill the man with the ball" in Conner's back yard.

 

Ripped up my knee, blood everywhere, spent a month in the hospital on bedpan duty, and almost had to redo 7th grade...... :boohoo: :boohoo:

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Good topic, Lorraine!

 

I was thinking about this yesterday while at work, and have had to wait until I get a little chunk of time to share my thoughts.

 

For more frivolous things:

 

I would have fought harder when the ticket my brother bought for myself and him to go to Rush in 2002 ended up being taken by his girlfriend-at-the-time. She assumed the ticket was for her, and I just shrugged and backed off, and missed out on what would have been my very first Rush show. But maybe I just had to wait a little longer before my world was ready to be imploded by the awesomeness of Rush.

 

I wish I'd spent less time playing video games when I was younger, and more time doing things that matter, such as learning my guitar when I was 16 instead of letting it gather dust until I pulled it out a few years ago, or working on my art projects that got pushed aside for the instant gratification of video game playing.

 

Deeper stuff:

 

I wish I'd been confident enough during highschool to have kept up my friendships with the people that were 'better' - people that were more upstanding citizens than who I eventually decided I deserved to be with instead: insecure girls that masked their insecurity with bitchy atiitudes and I-don't-care outlooks on school and life in general. I wish I'd realized I was deserving of good friendships, instead of relegating myself to poisonous relationships.I didn't want to be around these soul-depleting people, but at the time it was what I'd thought I'd deserved. :(

 

I wish I'd been more forceful when I confronted my Mom when I was 10 about the horrible things my evil ex-sted dad was doing, instead of things getting brushed under the rug and things continuing for a few more years. I wish nothing had ever happened in the first place, so our family would have been saved from seven years of horror. I wonder what I might be like if this hadn't happened, or maybe the tribulations were something I needed to go through to build character or something. Maybe I wouldn't be as strong as I am (relatively speaking, of course) otherwise, but it still would have been nice to have had a 'normal' childhood. But then again, maybe then 'Everyday Glory' wouldn't mean so much to me as it does! :P

 

I wish I'd been better at listening to my brain and my gut, rather than my heart - if I hadn't been so emotionally attached, I wouldn't have enabled my Mom to keep living through an unseen hell by constantly lending her money in a dire situation, causing myself to be broke, and prolonging a situation that has ultimately exploded. I could have saved myself a lot of financial (and therefore emotional) grief, and gotten my mom away from a situation that I was blinded to because of emotions being in the way. Wish I'd listened to my gut more.

 

 

I'd like to be able to say that I'm fine with how my life has unfolded, and that everything that has happened has been necessary to bring me to today, but there are a lot of big things that I would change. I think the best thing right now is to kind of think ahead, and think, "What do I want to remember when I'm old? What do I want to look back on? What do I want to have accomplished?" I think I would be proud of being able to play bass, but not proud of how much time was spend playing video games, so I let thoughts like that try to guide me.

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I've enjoyed my life., I wouldn't change a thing except finish getting a bachelors degree so I could get paid more. Yes Money isn't everything but the lack of it surely strains every aspec of life. I would get into RUSH earlier So I could witness the earlier tours Like 2112, A Farewell to Kings, Hemisphers, PeW and MP. Also I would attendthe Grace Under Pressure, Power Windows tours. I Missed those two. Edited by losingit2k
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I don't think I would change anything. It's all shaped who I am today, and I'm ok with who I am. I'm not saying that anyone else isn't, I'm speaking for myself.

 

I wouldn't change the fact that I married the dick from hell. I got two beautiful little girls out of the deal. It's a very small price to pay for my kids.

 

I wouldn't change the events leading up to my major motorcycle accident. It sent things in motion for me to talk about it and the virtues of proper riding gear and it's saved lives. If it saved just one life, it was worth it. Besides, it led my to finding E.

 

I would change how I allowed people to treat me in recent years. But, maybe I'm not healed up enough from what Bitchface did to me and my boyfriend this last year to know that it was good for me. It gave me confidence in knowing that no matter how badly my heart is broken, I will live. I will be ok. I will grow and be stronger for it. I think I would have said things differently though last time I got to talk to her, and I would have swung at her the first time she attempted to break us up.

 

I would have been more confident in High School. I wish I knew then what I know now and feel about people the same way I do now back then. :LOL: There would be no damn way people would have tried to bring me down like they did back then and I'm ashamed to say, they succeeded.

 

But, who knows if I would have turned out the same, and who knows if I would know the difference. I probably would have felt the same way...

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I think everything happens for a reason and all the events, tragedies and mistakes in our lives just make us the people we are right now.

Would I have dated the same idiots I did before I found my partner that I have now if I had the chance in hindsight to do it all again... prolly not but then I had fun with them too (sometimes) and learned a lot about myself and other people in the process.

 

Would I have chosen my career Im in now instead of going to school and wasting years in a career I hated... that would have been ideal but then I wouldn't have met a lot of my friends I have now nor seen the places I have or had the same adventures. I don't know if I'd even be with my partner right now cause we kinda met by chance and the way our lives were set up we had the resources to give it a shot and it's worked out (who would ever have thought)

 

In High School I was popular cause I was myself and spoke my mind and wasn't afraid to do the right thing including telling bullies where to go and to leave other people alone. I had a major influence (for better I think) on my best friend who was in a controlling relationship with her parents to the point of abuse and I helped her stand up for herself and she's eternally grateful to me for "corrupting" her. :LOL:

 

But I wasn't always strong I had a lot to deal with in my younger years and I think it helped me to be strong and recognize things like mental illness in a lot of people and not hold it against them at the same token, to not allow it to ruin my life and keep it arms length.

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I am the opposite of you.

 

I would be less of a nerd and stretch out more, try more things, have more adventures and be less afraid when I was young.

 

I would also have more compassion then I did back then.

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I am the opposite of you.

 

I would be less of a nerd and stretch out more, try more things, have more adventures and be less afraid when I was young.

 

I would also have more compassion then I did back then.

 

That's funny. I guess it just goes to show what many here have said. Just be happy with what we have and how things turned out. For each one of us, it happened for a reason. And maybe for all of us, it was the best way. It all combined to make us who we are today.

 

As for compassion, I think that comes with age. I know when I was in my teens and well into my twenties, I was hard as nails - no leeway for anyone. I'm grateful to say that I am no longer like that and haven't been for decades. Experience is a great teacher. So is falling on your face a few times. :)

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I got into Rush at 10...around the time of Fly By Night, but I did not see them live until the R30 tour...a big part of the stretching not being afraid thing....think of all the good live music I missed by not going to concerts early among other experiences.
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I was the guy that loved to party. The guy that would never settle down, long after his friends were all married. The guy that made his parents worry. I slept with too many women. And, I didn't sleep with enough women. I did the coolest drugs. I went to the hippest parties and met the coolest people. I've stayed in mansions in exotic places, partied on yachts with naked women. I've seen all the great bands from the front row. I met and married the hottest girl at my company. I have two wonderful children. I have a decent job and live decently, although money is always tight. I've played every sport imaginable. I've become a pretty decent guitar player as well.

 

When I look at my life now I'd like to think that thing turned out according to some grand plan, but in truth, the life I live today is the result of about a million random events. If I were to go back and change just one thing, nothing I have today would have existed. So its nice to say that my life would have been better if I had become a lawyer instead of a graphic artist, but that was the path I chose and I can not complain about the destination I arrived at or the adventures I had along the way. All I know is that there are probably plenty of miserable lawyers out there ;)

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Think I wouldn't change much things. Well a few, maybe like going to more Rush shows, joining TRF a lot earlier...

Since I've learned that it's indeed never too late to change things, I'd become the type of guy who loves advanced vocational training. I'm in the middle of my exams as a psychiatry care worker and I begun the qualification at the age of 45, almost three years ago. I know changes aren't permanent, but change is. :cool:

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I'd go back to being 18. I'd go back and tell my mother that she couldn't move to Utah with me and that I didn't need her to baby me anymore. Which would have avoided 5 more years of being brainwashed and controlled.

 

At 23 I would have not left Utah to go to Vermont with my ex. I would have stayed in Salt Lake and started working on my pre-meds as I was just about to do.

 

I don't know if I would have married my husband...

 

Oh well.

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My one big regret in life was not marrying the love of my life while there was still time. I know it wouldn't have changed anything, he would still be gone, but it was important to me and I didn't insist enough. He didn't want to hold me back and I gave in versus standing firm.
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I would not have listened to my parents when they told me "You'll never make it in music. Play as a hobby and get a real job."

 

Everyone great you admire, every hero you have ever had, every one you wish you were did something to make themselves great when everyone around them told them they shouldn't. Nobody tries to be great anymore. Let's all just get a job, pay our bills and get by.

 

Music is all I've ever wanted to do and I allowed someone to take that from me. Shame on me.

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I'd go back to being 18. I'd go back and tell my mother that she couldn't move to Utah with me and that I didn't need her to baby me anymore. Which would have avoided 5 more years of being brainwashed and controlled.

 

At 23 I would have not left Utah to go to Vermont with my ex. I would have stayed in Salt Lake and started working on my pre-meds as I was just about to do.

 

I don't know if I would have married my husband...

 

Oh well.

 

Gangster, don't heave that heavy sigh. You are young. You can still make it all happen. :)

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