The Analog Grownup Posted July 18, 2013 Share Posted July 18, 2013 Hey One thing first: Facebook is not good for a troubled heart! Last summer my then girlfriend took a two month language course in London. During those two months she withdrew from me a lot, and broke up when she got home. Around new years eve she changed her relationship from single to in relationship on FB, and now there are pictures of them in London. Now, last summer it was the Olympics so I can see that most of them are not from back then. There is one that stands out, however. They are standing in front of that school were they met, hugging and kissing. Could mean they're just revisiting the place the met each other, doesn't mean a thing necessarily, but one commenting on that picture changed it all for me: "Once upon a time last summer. Love is in the air". Now that Devil is sitting on my shoulder and whispering in my ear again :| . Maybe I'm just paranoid. Maybe I should let go, and maybe I shouldn't care at all. Maybe you think I'm crazy (no offense if you do), but I needed to let it out. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lerxster Posted July 18, 2013 Share Posted July 18, 2013 Maybe she did. Just let it go. It's in the past. Nothing good will come from thinking about it. The mind can play evil tricks on you. Unfriend her, stop looking at her page or just quit FB and look forward to new possibilities. :cheers: 8 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JohnnyBlaze Posted July 18, 2013 Share Posted July 18, 2013 Maybe she did. Just let it go. It's in the past. Nothing good will come from thinking about it. The mind can play evil tricks on you. Unfriend her, stop looking at her page or just quit FB and look forward to new possibilities. :cheers:Yup, you pretty much said it all. Dwelling on stuff that's ancient history is pointless. Even if she did, what use would that info be? 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
An Enemy Without Posted July 18, 2013 Share Posted July 18, 2013 Like the photo and then leave her to figure out what it means. 7 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
crimsonfrippy Posted July 18, 2013 Share Posted July 18, 2013 I'm sorry, Analog. Been there, it hurts. You will find someone else. Trust me. Might not seem like it now but things work out for a reason. I know this all sounds cliche but if it wasn't meant to be it was best to find out sooner rather than later. I would unfriend her. That is probably the best for your mental health right now. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Amy Farrah Fowler Posted July 18, 2013 Share Posted July 18, 2013 When you find the RIGHT person...you'll understand why this one doesn't matter. 7 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lorraine Posted July 18, 2013 Share Posted July 18, 2013 Be grateful she is your ex and shake the dust from your feet. Good riddance to bad rubbish! Cheating is a very selfish act. But worse than that, it displays a lack of integrity in the cheater. At least have the decency to break it off before you take up with someone else. 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ILSnwdog Posted July 18, 2013 Share Posted July 18, 2013 She's your "ex", right? Then it doesn't matter. Move on, and learn from the experience. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Maverick Posted July 18, 2013 Share Posted July 18, 2013 What the Hell are you doing stalking her on Facebook? You gotta cut her loose and let her go. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
An Enemy Without Posted July 18, 2013 Share Posted July 18, 2013 Punch her in the vagina. 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Maverick Posted July 18, 2013 Share Posted July 18, 2013 Punch her in the vagina. Someone had to say it! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lorraine Posted July 18, 2013 Share Posted July 18, 2013 That's the spirit! :eyeroll: 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
librarian Posted July 18, 2013 Share Posted July 18, 2013 You should be glad she is your ex then. Facebook is a wart on the ass of society - don't touch it unless you have to. 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Maverick Posted July 19, 2013 Share Posted July 19, 2013 That's the spirit! :eyeroll: I'm sure that if the thread starter had been female, and it was her boyfriend who had cheated, someone could have said, "Kick him in the nuts!" and hilarity would have ensued. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JohnnyBlaze Posted July 19, 2013 Share Posted July 19, 2013 When you find the RIGHT person...you'll understand why this one doesn't matter.Don't NEED TO find the right person in order to understand why this one doesn't matter. Hear what you're saying though 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
An Enemy Without Posted July 19, 2013 Share Posted July 19, 2013 Punch her in the vagina. Someone had to say it! You've tried it too? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lorraine Posted July 19, 2013 Share Posted July 19, 2013 That's the spirit! :eyeroll: I'm sure that if the thread starter had been female, and it was her boyfriend who had cheated, someone could have said, "Kick him in the nuts!" and hilarity would have ensued. You disappoint me, Sheldon. I had you above painting with a broad brush. The only time I would even consider doing something like that would be if I was being physically attacked by a man. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Analog Grownup Posted July 19, 2013 Author Share Posted July 19, 2013 Hi guys I went on one hell of a bender last night which helped me think of something else. I removed all photos of her on my FB page and that felt good. I know I must unfriend her on FB, but we are talking 5 years of my life that doesn't serve me any purpose anymore, and frankly I'm a little scared of that void it may leave. I might be able to be friends with her eventually, but not on FB. Too many pictures that doesn't concern me. I want to thank you for your support, it helped me a lot and even gave me a chuckle :). It's nice to know that I can lay it all out and people will actually take their time to respond and care. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
crimsonfrippy Posted July 19, 2013 Share Posted July 19, 2013 Analog, 5 years- that is a long time. All we can give you is support and advice since some of us are older (maybe not wiser) and have been through things like this. Keep your chin up. Cheers, frippy 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lorraine Posted July 19, 2013 Share Posted July 19, 2013 Analog, the void won't last. Just remember - she's not worth pining over. I know it is easy for me to say, but, think about it: is this really the woman you want to be with? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Analog Grownup Posted July 20, 2013 Author Share Posted July 20, 2013 Analog, the void won't last. Just remember - she's not worth pining over. I know it is easy for me to say, but, think about it: is this really the woman you want to be with? No, I don't want to be with her anymore. In that regard I'm free to do what I want. All my friends says it's time to set myself free, and I feel it's 'bout time. A year has passed - enough is enough. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Anguyen92 Posted July 21, 2013 Share Posted July 21, 2013 (edited) Hi guys I went on one hell of a bender last night which helped me think of something else. I removed all photos of her on my FB page and that felt good. I know I must unfriend her on FB, but we are talking 5 years of my life that doesn't serve me any purpose anymore, and frankly I'm a little scared of that void it may leave. Yeah, I see your point in this end. I'm in a similar boat as you but I've known this person for 15 years of my life and everyone I know keeps saying I got to move on and I'm finding a hard time disagreeing with them and they are right. I think the reason I'm still thinking about this is because I've invested a good amount of time and effort of trying to make this dynamic work and I do not want to see it end in a manner that is happening. I want this to end in a proper manner whether we still end up friends or not. However, I'm taking some pretty decent steps in the right direction but got a long way to go. The main question is going to be what is the next step in life to fill that satisfaction you are looking for and not run into her without feeling like you are going to relapse or something. But in any case, GL with this and hope you find that kind of relationship that you are looking for that has that happy ending that both of you can be thrilled to be in. Edited July 21, 2013 by Anguyen92 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chicken hawk Posted July 21, 2013 Share Posted July 21, 2013 Shes your EX right??? must be a reason for the X Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Babycat Posted July 21, 2013 Share Posted July 21, 2013 For Analog 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Analog Grownup Posted July 25, 2013 Author Share Posted July 25, 2013 Hi guys I went on one hell of a bender last night which helped me think of something else. I removed all photos of her on my FB page and that felt good. I know I must unfriend her on FB, but we are talking 5 years of my life that doesn't serve me any purpose anymore, and frankly I'm a little scared of that void it may leave. Yeah, I see your point in this end. I'm in a similar boat as you but I've known this person for 15 years of my life and everyone I know keeps saying I got to move on and I'm finding a hard time disagreeing with them and they are right. I think the reason I'm still thinking about this is because I've invested a good amount of time and effort of trying to make this dynamic work and I do not want to see it end in a manner that is happening. I want this to end in a proper manner whether we still end up friends or not. However, I'm taking some pretty decent steps in the right direction but got a long way to go. The main question is going to be what is the next step in life to fill that satisfaction you are looking for and not run into her without feeling like you are going to relapse or something. But in any case, GL with this and hope you find that kind of relationship that you are looking for that has that happy ending that both of you can be thrilled to be in. Yeah, it really is difficult doing what everyone else thinks is the right thing. And if someone in the same situation as me wanted my advise, I would probably give them the same. I've always said that the advise you give others, are also advise you give your self, but seeing the "path" is not always enough - sometimes we need someone to push us along. I like the bit about the next step to finding satisfaction in life to avoid relapse. I haven't asked myself that in a very long time. The last week or so have been great - great company, nice summer weather, a spontaneous Bonnie Raitt concert and about zero Facebook time. Slowly getting back to life again, albeit with a certain pain of knowing "the more I gain, the more I'll know what I've lost".I'm working, with help from my therapist, to get through all of this and start living again to the full extent of my potential. Thank you for your words, and I hope everything works out for you. Please keep me updated if you will :) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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