What would you do? Keep to yourself?

[hobo73]

I'm sorry, I start new threads all the time, but hey. lol.

 

Today I took Lucy to the park to meet my friend Alex and her baby. while Lucy was running around, this woman asks (I assumer) her bf/hubby permission to use HER own phone.

She kept saying she only wanted to call a friend "For a few seconds, I swear. It won't be long, I'll do it right here."

 

-__-

 

This man-child starts getting firm with her. "I already told you, NO. YOU CANNOT USE THE PHONE. You have my answer. Do NOT ask me again."

She started to beg him, and he went off on her in front of a park packed full of kids- she ended up curled in a ball at his feet, sobbing hysterically.

He was screaming at her "ARE YOU F*CKING STUPID??? I TOLD YOU HELL NO!!! F*CK YOU!!! STOP F*CKING CRYING, YOU WHINY A$$ B*TCH!!!!"

 

=0 =0 =0

Dude. Their own little girl was clutching her mom's leg, begging, "daddy, STOP!!!"

He told the woman to get away from him and "be a little girl somewhere else".

 

Lovely.

 

I normally keep out of peoples' business- except if somebody's beating the snot out of a child in public. I always involve myself then by calling the cops. Always have, always will. Period.

I just had it. My daughter did NOT need to see that, thank you very much. Alex and I glared daggers right at him, looked him straight in the eyes. Alex was louder than I was- "THAT GUY RIGHT THERE IS THE ABUSIVE ASS?!" and this guy hauled butt out of there too fast. His lady just kinda stared at us.

 

I cannot STAND "men" who act this way. And yes, I know many women out there are abusive, as well.

I was quietly begging her to clock him in the jaw.

 

I was enraged. That ASS.

[Maverick]

She was probably out of minutes?

 

[hobo73]

She was probably out of minutes?

 

 

lol thats a violent way to respond if she was out of minutes :P

from what they were saying back and forth, he was holding onto her cell phone and she had to ask permission. ugh.

[Maverick]

She was probably out of minutes?

 

 

lol thats a violent way to respond if she was out of minutes :P

from what they were saying back and forth, he was holding onto her cell phone and she had to ask permission. ugh.

 

I'm just being whacky.

[Principled Man]

It's definitely a dysfunctional and abusive relationship that you saw. Physical abuse is a very real possibility but not a certainty.

 

It's dangerous for anyone to involve themselves in such relationships, even if it's for a brief moment in the park. When they got home (and out of the public eye), he could have made her pay for his embarrassment by beating the crap out of her. Friends, neighbors and even strangers in the park, although they mean well, may end up causing more harm to the battered victim.

 

If you see this abuse again, and you decide to intervene, then do it the right way. Call the police and tell them exactly what is happening. If your phone can videorecord, then record as much of the abuse as possible.

 

And be prepared for the possibility of his coming after you. If the loser is so unstable that he goes off in public, there is no telling what he might do.... :o

[Ancient Ways]

I don't know about all this recording and calling cops. Only the person being abused can decide they've had enough and leave. It's a sad situation and possibly a teaching opportunity if your child witnesses something like this but getting involved to that level seems like a mistake.

[Principled Man]

I don't know about all this recording and calling cops. Only the person being abused can decide they've had enough and leave. It's a sad situation and possibly a teaching opportunity if your child witnesses something like this but getting involved to that level seems like a mistake.

 

Oh, I agree......it's definitely risky to get involved at any level. It could backfire for everyone. Still, it if were a mugging or fist fight between strangers, one doesn't hesitate as much to call the police. I'm just not sure that domestic violence should be ignored as much as it is.

 

It's not always a matter of "Why doesn't she just leave?" Victims of domestic abuse (especially women), often don't have any means of escape. No family or friends to offer them shelter, no financial means of escape, and the continuous threats and intimidation keep many women from leaving. Many victims suffer from classic "Stockholm syndrome", where they become so dependent on their abusers that they become emotionally attached to them. They sometimes even defend their abusers against criticism and prosecution. The woman in Hobo's story shows strong signs of being in a dysfunctional state of dependence. She may never find the courage to leave the loser...... :(

[hobo73]

I suppose I ought to give the reasoning behind my decision to make it known to him that he needed to stop.

 

It disgusted me to see everybody turn their heads away and ignore it. In a packed park, nobody cared enough to do something. I couldn't let my daughter see me "accept" this awful scene.

If nobody stands up to the bully, he just keeps abusing and hurting with nobody trying to stop him. If nobody says anything, nothing will change.

If somebody looks him in the eye and says "ENOUGH", there is a chance he will be too embarrassed to carry on.

There is a huge risk in doing so, and I understand that. But I decided to take that chance and do what I felt was right.

 

The biggest thing was- the rage building up as I watched this happen.

Ugly, ugly memories started popping up and I remembered all those times I wanted SOMEBODY to help me when I was in those situations. It felt like a punch in the gut everytime I saw people turn away and let things happen in broad daylight.

If we do not teach our kids- and each other- to stand up, who will?

 

No doubt about it- if somebody took the time to intervene, I would not have those awful memories. My attackers would have stopped because they would have been too terrified to keep going after getting "caught".

 

I stick by my choice. You have to take chances, and sometimes doing what needs to be done is not easy.

[laughedatbytime]

I suppose I ought to give the reasoning behind my decision to make it known to him that he needed to stop.

 

It disgusted me to see everybody turn their heads away and ignore it. In a packed park, nobody cared enough to do something. I couldn't let my daughter see me "accept" this awful scene.

If nobody stands up to the bully, he just keeps abusing and hurting with nobody trying to stop him. If nobody says anything, nothing will change.

If somebody looks him in the eye and says "ENOUGH", there is a chance he will be too embarrassed to carry on.

There is a huge risk in doing so, and I understand that. But I decided to take that chance and do what I felt was right.

 

The biggest thing was- the rage building up as I watched this happen.

Ugly, ugly memories started popping up and I remembered all those times I wanted SOMEBODY to help me when I was in those situations. It felt like a punch in the gut everytime I saw people turn away and let things happen in broad daylight.

If we do not teach our kids- and each other- to stand up, who will?

 

No doubt about it- if somebody took the time to intervene, I would not have those awful memories. My attackers would have stopped because they would have been too terrified to keep going after getting "caught".

 

I stick by my choice. You have to take chances, and sometimes doing what needs to be done is not easy.

Brave choice....and I commend you for it.

[hobo73]

I don't know about all this recording and calling cops. Only the person being abused can decide they've had enough and leave. It's a sad situation and possibly a teaching opportunity if your child witnesses something like this but getting involved to that level seems like a mistake.

 

Oh, I agree......it's definitely risky to get involved at any level. It could backfire for everyone. Still, it if were a mugging or fist fight between strangers, one doesn't hesitate as much to call the police. I'm just not sure that domestic violence should be ignored as much as it is.

 

It's not always a matter of "Why doesn't she just leave?" Victims of domestic abuse (especially women), often don't have any means of escape. No family or friends to offer them shelter, no financial means of escape, and the continuous threats and intimidation keep many women from leaving. Many victims suffer from classic "Stockholm syndrome", where they become so dependent on their abusers that they become emotionally attached to them. They sometimes even defend their abusers against criticism and prosecution. The woman in Hobo's story shows strong signs of being in a dysfunctional state of dependence. She may never find the courage to leave the loser...... :(

 

Those women are trapped in this belief that they are only as good as their abusers tell them they are.

Meaningless apologies and kisses to your boo boos after an incident can fool you into forgiving him.

 

It is definitely not easy.

[rushfanforever!]

I don't know about all this recording and calling cops. Only the person being abused can decide they've had enough and leave. It's a sad situation and possibly a teaching opportunity if your child witnesses something like this but getting involved to that level seems like a mistake.

 

Oh, I agree......it's definitely risky to get involved at any level. It could backfire for everyone. Still, it if were a mugging or fist fight between strangers, one doesn't hesitate as much to call the police. I'm just not sure that domestic violence should be ignored as much as it is.

 

It's not always a matter of "Why doesn't she just leave?" Victims of domestic abuse (especially women), often don't have any means of escape. No family or friends to offer them shelter, no financial means of escape, and the continuous threats and intimidation keep many women from leaving. Many victims suffer from classic "Stockholm syndrome", where they become so dependent on their abusers that they become emotionally attached to them. They sometimes even defend their abusers against criticism and prosecution. The woman in Hobo's story shows strong signs of being in a dysfunctional state of dependence. She may never find the courage to leave the loser...... :(

 

Those women are trapped in this belief that they are only as good as their abusers tell them they are.

Meaningless apologies and kisses to your boo boos after an incident can fool you into forgiving him.

 

It is definitely not easy.

 

Good thing I DIDN'T witness this: I would have went postal on this punk asshole! Maybe I should be scared of these kinds of situations, but due to my rough upbringing, I'm not afraid of people like this; I've been known to get in someone's face and get involved in situations where others just "turn and run". Calling the police only goes so far; perhaps the woman will someday realize that this scumbag is a real piece of shit! It takes only one person to start the change...

[An Enemy Without]

I cannot STAND "men" who act this way.

 

"Men" indeed.

[Principled Man]

I suppose I ought to give the reasoning behind my decision to make it known to him that he needed to stop.

 

It disgusted me to see everybody turn their heads away and ignore it. In a packed park, nobody cared enough to do something. I couldn't let my daughter see me "accept" this awful scene.

If nobody stands up to the bully, he just keeps abusing and hurting with nobody trying to stop him. If nobody says anything, nothing will change.

If somebody looks him in the eye and says "ENOUGH", there is a chance he will be too embarrassed to carry on.

There is a huge risk in doing so, and I understand that. But I decided to take that chance and do what I felt was right.

 

The biggest thing was- the rage building up as I watched this happen.

Ugly, ugly memories started popping up and I remembered all those times I wanted SOMEBODY to help me when I was in those situations. It felt like a punch in the gut everytime I saw people turn away and let things happen in broad daylight.

If we do not teach our kids- and each other- to stand up, who will?

 

No doubt about it- if somebody took the time to intervene, I would not have those awful memories. My attackers would have stopped because they would have been too terrified to keep going after getting "caught".

 

I stick by my choice. You have to take chances, and sometimes doing what needs to be done is not easy.

 

 

:goodone: :goodone: :goodone:

[WavesandWindows]

I cannot STAND "men" who act this way.

 

Far from the correct term. Animal, Beast, Monster, these actually depict this type of character more accurately...

 

Dude, I think you made the right choice in the long run... Hopefully, given time, they too will come to understand that. Hopefully, given time, she'll dump this pathetic, abusive, lowlife a** and live a better life without his abuse to haunt her!

[Your_Lion]

It disgusted me to see everybody turn their heads away and ignore it. In a packed park, nobody cared enough to do something. I couldn't let my daughter see me "accept" this awful scene.

 

Exactly!

[CygnusGal]

I suppose I ought to give the reasoning behind my decision to make it known to him that he needed to stop.

 

It disgusted me to see everybody turn their heads away and ignore it. In a packed park, nobody cared enough to do something. I couldn't let my daughter see me "accept" this awful scene.

If nobody stands up to the bully, he just keeps abusing and hurting with nobody trying to stop him. If nobody says anything, nothing will change.

If somebody looks him in the eye and says "ENOUGH", there is a chance he will be too embarrassed to carry on.

There is a huge risk in doing so, and I understand that. But I decided to take that chance and do what I felt was right.

 

The biggest thing was- the rage building up as I watched this happen.

Ugly, ugly memories started popping up and I remembered all those times I wanted SOMEBODY to help me when I was in those situations. It felt like a punch in the gut everytime I saw people turn away and let things happen in broad daylight.

If we do not teach our kids- and each other- to stand up, who will?

 

No doubt about it- if somebody took the time to intervene, I would not have those awful memories. My attackers would have stopped because they would have been too terrified to keep going after getting "caught".

 

I stick by my choice. You have to take chances, and sometimes doing what needs to be done is not easy.

Tough one, hobo, but I think you and your husband did the right thing.

 

In my experience, doing to the right thing can be very, very uncomfortable but it is still required to be done. I hope that your daughter really doesn't "get" what happened and if she did, I hope it isn't too hard on her. She has two parents who love her very much and she is a lucky little girl in that regard.

[gangsterfurious]

I don't wait for the cops to come help when I see things like that, they can come clean up the aftermath... *cracks knuckles*

[hobo73]

DAYYUUUMMMM I like that!!! lol