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YES!!! my sister in law FINALLY left her cheating, abusive, crackhead husband. :D


hobo73
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WOOHOO!!!!!!

My SIL (sister in law lol) has been married to her husband for 12 years, and pretty much the entire time he has openly cheated on her. Had the same girlfriend for years and only goes back to her when she gets paid, spends all her money on crack, and leaves the second she's broke. He has always primarily lived with his INSANE girlfriend.

 

He would text SIL pictures of him actually "doing stuff" with his gf and saying "here's proof I love someone else, whore" and stuff. =/

 

Doesn't give a crap about his 3 kids- his 2 daughters hate his guts. His son just turned 10 and it is obvious he will be in jail when he's older. He's taken this the hardest, his dad not caring about him.....but he says that's the reason he has every right to hit his mom, curse her out, beat on his sisters, steal, lie, etc. =/

he has even told me that when he's older, "my girlfriend will have to do anything I say and will always have to love me no matter what I do. It's her job." Ugh. Double ugh.

 

This guy is a MAJOR crackhead, it's what he lives for. he has pawned his wife and childrens' most prized possessions for it.

 

SIL always went back to him, ALWAYS. Always took him back in.

My in laws even told her they would pay for everything if she decided to divorce him. They begged her.

 

There's so much more to this story, but you get the idea.

 

Today SIL called us and asked if my nephew could stay with us a few days. She told me he told her to her face he "doesn't give a f**k" what she says, threw a chair at his sisters and tried attacking her 0_o

 

So she goes "WANNA MEET MY NEW BOYFRIEND?!" UM, YES!!!!

he was outside, and was SO nice. omg. her soon to be ex hubby never gave a crap if anyone disrespected his wife. Never.

Her new bf? he said he doesn't care that it's her son, his girl was disrespected, and he will not have it, period. =0

 

The smile on SIL's face.....the clear change in her attitude....she was....happy.

My nieces were literally clinging to this new man, laughing and joking with him. They looked so incredibly happy.

 

She teared up as she told me how great her bf is, and how great he treats her and her children.

 

I AM SO HAPPY. omg. her husband was a piece of SHIT. Excuse the language. my in laws are going to be thrilled. "Thrilled"....well that's an understatement!!!! LOL.

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I thought it was you who had the crazy husband? :unsure: :hi:

 

lol sometimes he gets crazy, but compared to THIS loser, he's a saint ;)

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Anytime a person is on crack, there is really no point in trying to rationalize or understand any other behaviors he or she exhibits. A crackhead is a crackhead who's goal in life is to get more crack. Period.

 

Hope she stays away from him permanently.

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Yes, that is truly all they care about.

One night I watched him spend 300 bucks on the stuff and smoke it all IN LESS THAN 2 HOURS. The second he was all out, he was hitting up every dealer in town for more. It got to where dealers started cutting him off. hard to believe, but I saw it.

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Oh, and all evening my nephew has been making a point of saying random things, like "MY DAD likes this movie." or "MY DAD is awesome."

"MY DAD" this and that.

 

Your dad is far from awesome, dude.....

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Oh, and all evening my nephew has been making a point of saying random things, like "MY DAD likes this movie." or "MY DAD is awesome."

"MY DAD" this and that.

 

Your dad is far from awesome, dude.....

 

Wonderful that your SIL left her gutter scum of a husband.

Your nephew sounds like a very troubled young man. He sounds like he's idealizing his father in an attempt to convince himself that he's got the dad he wants and needs. Kids do that; it's easier than dealing with the sick truth.

Make sure your own child is safe if this boy gets violent, though I'm sure you have that covered.

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I AM SO HAPPY. omg. her husband was a piece of SHIT. Excuse the language. my in laws are going to be thrilled. "Thrilled"....well that's an understatement!!!! LOL.

 

Never apologize for telling the truth. He's a pile of shit....HUGE pile of shit.

 

I hope she's made this split absolutely permanent. No going back, no second-guessing, no reprieve for the pig. :no: :no:

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Oh, and all evening my nephew has been making a point of saying random things, like "MY DAD likes this movie." or "MY DAD is awesome."

"MY DAD" this and that.

 

Your dad is far from awesome, dude.....

 

Wonderful that your SIL left her gutter scum of a husband.

Your nephew sounds like a very troubled young man. He sounds like he's idealizing his father in an attempt to convince himself that he's got the dad he wants and needs. Kids do that; it's easier than dealing with the sick truth.

Make sure your own child is safe if this boy gets violent, though I'm sure you have that covered.

 

My husband would handle him if he EVER got violent with our child- and our nephew knows that. My husband is the only man he is truly scared of. And hand over my heart, my husband only has words for him when he acts like a little monster.

And yes, nephew loves his uncle very much. He does not hide it. lol.

 

He has such a twisted way of thinking because of his father.....it's horrible.....we all know how he's going to turn out, unfortunately...

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I AM SO HAPPY. omg. her husband was a piece of SHIT. Excuse the language. my in laws are going to be thrilled. "Thrilled"....well that's an understatement!!!! LOL.

 

Never apologize for telling the truth. He's a pile of shit....HUGE pile of shit.

 

I hope she's made this split absolutely permanent. No going back, no second-guessing, no reprieve for the pig. :no: :no:

 

LOL!!! okay then!! ;)

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Gah! So happy to hear of happier endings, and moving away from horribleness. I wish your sister-in-law all the best, and do hope that she's permanently away from him; the things you've described sound like he is a monster. I can't imagine what it's like to be so chained to someone that's horrible and drug-demented.

 

Li'l question: if this is your sister-in-law's husband, does that mean he's your brother? I'm trying to make sure I have my family ties correct! If so, what an awful brother to have. :(

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lmao OH no

Gah! So happy to hear of happier endings, and moving away from horribleness. I wish your sister-in-law all the best, and do hope that she's permanently away from him; the things you've described sound like he is a monster. I can't imagine what it's like to be so chained to someone that's horrible and drug-demented.

 

Li'l question: if this is your sister-in-law's husband, does that mean he's your brother? I'm trying to make sure I have my family ties correct! If so, what an awful brother to have. :(

 

lol oh no I understand! no he's not related to me in any way- I would have nothing to do with my brother if he was that way! :P

My brother kicks ass ;) hehe.

 

I have never seen her this happy, she never even considered being with anyone else before. This is a good step =]

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Some girls like to be treated badly i guess. I could never understand that. Hope she gets over the Emotional pain. God Bless you for caring so much ! :heart:

 

I love her children like my own, I'll always care for them <3

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Oh, and all evening my nephew has been making a point of saying random things, like "MY DAD likes this movie." or "MY DAD is awesome."

"MY DAD" this and that.

 

Your dad is far from awesome, dude.....

 

Wonderful that your SIL left her gutter scum of a husband.

Your nephew sounds like a very troubled young man. He sounds like he's idealizing his father in an attempt to convince himself that he's got the dad he wants and needs. Kids do that; it's easier than dealing with the sick truth.

Make sure your own child is safe if this boy gets violent, though I'm sure you have that covered.

 

My husband would handle him if he EVER got violent with our child- and our nephew knows that. My husband is the only man he is truly scared of. And hand over my heart, my husband only has words for him when he acts like a little monster.

And yes, nephew loves his uncle very much. He does not hide it. lol.

 

He has such a twisted way of thinking because of his father.....it's horrible.....we all know how he's going to turn out, unfortunately...

Having worked with emotionally disturbed kids [most with a drug addicted or abusive parent(s)], aged 6-17 in residential mental health facilities in the mid-late 90s, your nephew sounds familiar. However, don't assume you know how he's "going to end up" because frankly, you don't. Don't assign the kid that terrible role especially since he's not even a teen. Some of those kids I worked with 15-20 years ago ARE in prison now BUT there are some I've heard about that are living respectable lives. One of the kids that I worked with directly every day ended up joining the Air Force and apparently is some kind of aircraft mechanic now. That's quite a giant turnaround from back in '96 when he was a loud-mouth, punk 15-16 year old with a penchant for petty crime and a useless set of physically and sexually abusive parents. Some of the other counselors had written him off and assumed he was going to wind up in prison or dead somewhere. He proved all of those folks wrong. And I can proudly say that I KNEW that he could make a good life for himself. Slight tangent but you get the point Edited by JohnnyBlaze
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Good riddance for sure! And thank God she found a supportive and loving boyfriend. Way too many people stay in bad relationships, mainly because they're afraid they won't find or deserve someone better. It's sad that a relationship can come to that point, where one doesn't consider that there might be a better alternative out there.

 

And also I'm with JohnnyBlaze on this one. I know ones feelings can get the better of one, and therefore it's easy to think someone will end up in a certain way. I believe those who are on the path of violence themselves are the ones thinking 'why change when I know I'll end up in jail or dead. Everyone else seems to think that way'. Most of them have not gotten guidance in their lives, I'm not pointing fingers here, just to clarify :)

I think your nephew needs to feel loved in order to give love back.

 

But however I do understand why you feel like you do. Sometimes we get so angry we can't even see straight ;)

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Oh, and all evening my nephew has been making a point of saying random things, like "MY DAD likes this movie." or "MY DAD is awesome."

"MY DAD" this and that.

 

Your dad is far from awesome, dude.....

 

Wonderful that your SIL left her gutter scum of a husband.

Your nephew sounds like a very troubled young man. He sounds like he's idealizing his father in an attempt to convince himself that he's got the dad he wants and needs. Kids do that; it's easier than dealing with the sick truth.

Make sure your own child is safe if this boy gets violent, though I'm sure you have that covered.

 

My husband would handle him if he EVER got violent with our child- and our nephew knows that. My husband is the only man he is truly scared of. And hand over my heart, my husband only has words for him when he acts like a little monster.

And yes, nephew loves his uncle very much. He does not hide it. lol.

 

He has such a twisted way of thinking because of his father.....it's horrible.....we all know how he's going to turn out, unfortunately...

Having worked with emotionally disturbed kids [most with a drug addicted or abusive parent(s)], aged 6-17 in residential mental health facilities in the mid-late 90s, your nephew sounds familiar. However, don't assume you know how he's "going to end up" because frankly, you don't. Don't assign the kid that terrible role especially since he's not even a teen. Some of those kids I worked with 15-20 years ago ARE in prison now BUT there are some I've heard about that are living respectable lives. One of the kids that I worked with directly every day ended up joining the Air Force and apparently is some kind of aircraft mechanic now. That's quite a giant turnaround from back in '96 when he was a loud-mouth, punk 15-16 year old with a penchant for petty crime and a useless set of physically and sexually abusive parents. Some of the other counselors had written him off and assumed he was going to wind up in prison or dead somewhere. He proved all of those folks wrong. And I can proudly say that I KNEW that he could make a good life for himself. Slight tangent but you get the point

 

I know, but his mother knows he could use some help, and for some reason both of my SIL's won't get any sort of help for their sons. I hope my nephews prove me wrong, but unfortunately, and I will say it- I don't think they will. =/

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Good riddance for sure! And thank God she found a supportive and loving boyfriend. Way too many people stay in bad relationships, mainly because they're afraid they won't find or deserve someone better. It's sad that a relationship can come to that point, where one doesn't consider that there might be a better alternative out there.

 

And also I'm with JohnnyBlaze on this one. I know ones feelings can get the better of one, and therefore it's easy to think someone will end up in a certain way. I believe those who are on the path of violence themselves are the ones thinking 'why change when I know I'll end up in jail or dead. Everyone else seems to think that way'. Most of them have not gotten guidance in their lives, I'm not pointing fingers here, just to clarify :)

I think your nephew needs to feel loved in order to give love back.

 

But however I do understand why you feel like you do. Sometimes we get so angry we can't even see straight ;)

 

I know that if he were to spend more time with my husband, he'd behave a lot better than he has been.

Nephew has ALWAYS truly looked up to his uncle Jeff as his "male role model" or father figure or whatever you call it lol. Jeff actually, for quite a while when the kids were growing up, pretty much raised all 3 of them. Everyone in this family says it, Jeff says it, even the kids say it. Their mother is really hesitant to admit it, but she has.

When nephew was coming over here on a regular basis after getting into trouble, eventually he started behaving well enough. It's unfortunate his mom doesn't go out of her way to bring him here more often =/

 

ha, one time when nephew was like.....6?....we found out his loser father got PISSED after he brought a school project home.

The project was, the students had to write a paragraph and draw a picture about the most important man in their lives, and why. My nephew wrote about my husband- how much he loves him and loves building stuff together. the picture he drew was of them building a bookcase together, mowing the lawn, playing together.

Jeff got tears in his eyes when he saw it- meanwhile, nephew's father was wondering why his son wasn't calling HIM the most important man in his life. wonder why.

 

It's hard when this kid is kept from people who can truly help guide him.

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Oh, and all evening my nephew has been making a point of saying random things, like "MY DAD likes this movie." or "MY DAD is awesome."

"MY DAD" this and that.

 

Your dad is far from awesome, dude.....

 

Wonderful that your SIL left her gutter scum of a husband.

Your nephew sounds like a very troubled young man. He sounds like he's idealizing his father in an attempt to convince himself that he's got the dad he wants and needs. Kids do that; it's easier than dealing with the sick truth.

Make sure your own child is safe if this boy gets violent, though I'm sure you have that covered.

 

My husband would handle him if he EVER got violent with our child- and our nephew knows that. My husband is the only man he is truly scared of. And hand over my heart, my husband only has words for him when he acts like a little monster.

And yes, nephew loves his uncle very much. He does not hide it. lol.

 

He has such a twisted way of thinking because of his father.....it's horrible.....we all know how he's going to turn out, unfortunately...

Having worked with emotionally disturbed kids [most with a drug addicted or abusive parent(s)], aged 6-17 in residential mental health facilities in the mid-late 90s, your nephew sounds familiar. However, don't assume you know how he's "going to end up" because frankly, you don't. Don't assign the kid that terrible role especially since he's not even a teen. Some of those kids I worked with 15-20 years ago ARE in prison now BUT there are some I've heard about that are living respectable lives. One of the kids that I worked with directly every day ended up joining the Air Force and apparently is some kind of aircraft mechanic now. That's quite a giant turnaround from back in '96 when he was a loud-mouth, punk 15-16 year old with a penchant for petty crime and a useless set of physically and sexually abusive parents. Some of the other counselors had written him off and assumed he was going to wind up in prison or dead somewhere. He proved all of those folks wrong. And I can proudly say that I KNEW that he could make a good life for himself. Slight tangent but you get the point

 

I know, but his mother knows he could use some help, and for some reason both of my SIL's won't get any sort of help for their sons. I hope my nephews prove me wrong, but unfortunately, and I will say it- I don't think they will. =/

Well, with those kids I worked with nobody "got help" for them in most of those situations. Those kids were often times in those facilities due to court orders and such.

 

My point is: you can still have a major impact on those kids. It looks like your husband already has. So to think that your nephew(s) will end up with a bleak future is pessimistic and fatalistic. More importantly, that attitude is something that kid can likely pick up on even if he doesn't outwardly acknowledge it. I'm not preaching or criticizing, I'm really just telling you that you have more influence than you think AND that people can surprise others every day with their success and achievements.

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oh hey I understand- it's just, what do we do when he doesn't come over very often and no punishment works for him? I just don't know. (of course when he's here he acts well- once he gets back home it's a different story.)

I also know a HUUUGE reason he's really acting out now is because his mom is bringing a boyfriend home. Which she has every right to do, but he's still very angry about it. Jeff and I were talking last night and he acknowledged that nephew idolizes his father because he wants to believe that's how all dads are, and that he is perfect in every way. jeff said what I was thinking- nephew is willing to forget all the times his dad has made him cry and hurt him just to keep his idea of family together.

I understand that...but- and we touched on this last night- the time has come for people to, ah, start telling this kid how his dad really is. his mom left him for a good reason, and this child needs to know why.

Especially considering he's already saying things to the new bf like "you're not my dad. my mom doesn't need you.", the time has come.

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The kid's on the phone with his mom, crying because he thought she was lying when she said he was going to stay here for a few days.

After how he treated her, I can't blame her for not being in a rush to pick him up. =/

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