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You women will NOT believe this!


Thunder Bay Rush
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Okay, so I'm sitting here on Friday night and the phone rings. Heather, daughter # 2 (who is 27) on the line. "Um, dad, are you sitting down? Holly just had a baby.” (Holly is daughter # 2, who is 24.)

 

 

So, that makes me a Grampa… I just turned 51, so I guess I’m in that age range now. (Although I think I’m way too cool to be a Grampa, plus – I don’t even have grey “pubes” yet). But, here’s the part that has to do with the title of this thread. Not only did I not even know Holly was pregnant, SHE didn’t know either! She lives 3 hours from me, but her mom lives in the same town as she does and sees her every other day or so. She didn’t know she was pregnant either… nor, did her boss, her friends or her hubby.

 

 

She had been complaining about stomach cramps and bad gas for the few days before, but figured she just had to drop a “Subway Bun” caliber shit. She said she’d gotten all of her periods, didn’t gain any weight, and didn’t see any belly… For chrise-sakes, MY BELLY is bigger than hers and I’m 5’9” and I weight about 160… she’s not a stick (5’8” and 140) but she’s not fat either. I’ve heard of this before but it's usually with heavy girls who don’t really notice the belly.

 

 

So, she’s in the shower on Friday evening. She started feeling dizzy, so she decided to lay down with the shower still going, plug out, thankfully. And, then all of the sudden – wait for it – yep… here comes the head… and the shoulders… and the belly… and the feet… holy shit! CAN YOU IMAGINE? She yells out to her hubby, he comes running in and there she is lying in the tub with a baby in her arms. He calls 9 -11 (How he didn’t faint, I’ll never know), they talk him through how to tie off the cord… he does it. Paramedics show up, cut the cord and bring her to hospital.

 

 

Bottom line – a perfectly healthy girl, 6 pounds 6 ounces. (About the size of a really good smallmouth bass.) Holly has NO signs of pregnancy, no stretch marks, no weight gain. And, she even said to me, “Dad, my vagina didn’t even tear!” (Okay, a little TOO much info, there kid. But, great just the same.)

 

 

As soon as I heard this, I hopped in my truck, drove the 3 hours… just got back this morning. Just spoke to her, all is fine. I still can’t believe this. I don’t have a clue how to post pictures on here but I’d like to.

 

 

 

OMFG!

Edited by Thunder Bay Rush
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http://tlc.howstuffworks.com/tv/other-shows/videos/i-didnt-know-i-was-pregnant.htm

 

And please, vaginal tearing is not TMI for a guy talking about if he has grey pubes or not.

 

Congratulations Papa.

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Congratulations! I'm glad to hear that mom and baby are both healthy—if immensely surprised.
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Wow, that's great!! Congradulations!!! Glad to hear that mom & baby are doing fine considering that there was no advance warning!! What a shocker!!!

 

:ebert: :clap: :)

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Wow! I've heard of this happening but thought it was a joke. How could someone not know they were pregnant? Seems impossible but apparently not! :)
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That is crazy! Congrats on becoming a grandpa, and glad that everything has ended up ok!

 

...And... a related story... a guy I worked with had a baby (that they knew about!) with his wife a while back - proud parents to a beautiful little girl. Well, less than a year later, he comes into work kind of dazed and says, "We just had a baby." Everyone was confused, and said, Yeah, we know, you have a girl, and he said No, his wife just had a baby the previous night. Apparently, she had become pregnant right after the first baby, and neither she nor anybody else knew about it until the baby was suddenly born! The wife is a bit on the slight side, and had only a little bit of belly pooch that was figured to be the aftermath of the baby (#1) and probably figured spotty periods were a result of the pregnancy, too. So now they have two beautiful daughters.

 

But, I can't imagine what a surprise this is! I would hate to not have any forewarning, no time to prepare for the responsibility of a new life! And this wife I mentioned - she's not exactly a saint when it comes to illicit substances.... I've had several dreams where I suddenly discover I'm far-along pregnant and in my dreams I've been going on benders and stuff and regretting the possible fetus damage I could have been inflicting. Though benders aren't exactly my thing in real life, anyway.

 

Well, I wish you and your daughter all the best (nice name, BTW - I'm Heather too! And I was going to be called Holly first!). I'm sure you'll be an awesome grandpa! :)

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Wow! That is story. Holy cow! Grandpa. Wow! :o

 

Congratulations, TBR! It is wonderful she (and mom) are healthy and now you have a beautiful granddaughter. :hug2:

 

:codger:

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Awwwwwwwwwwww, you guys are the bestest... my phone hasn't stop ringing since Saturday. I keep on having to charge the battery. Anyway, I got a very nice private message from my favourite TRF person ... and she advised me that since I’m a Grampa now I might have to start doing "old man talk," so I started practicing:

 

 

 

Whatcha say? Eh? I can't hear you! Jesus goddam Christ! Bring me my hearing aids. And, where's my goddam teeth? I think I left 'em in the jar by the bathroom sink. How am I s’ppos’ta gonna try to eat my bran cereal without my GODDAM TEETH? Aw, Jesus Christ, I shit my pants again. GODDAM IT! I need another Depends... This thing on my neck is gettin' bigger. I stepped on one of my balls just before you got here and it hurts like a SOB! And, get outta the goddam way. I can't see the Weather Channel. JESUS CHRIST!

 

 

 

Am I on the right track or did I miss something??????????????? (Insert picture of TBR sitting in a rocking chair wearing plaid shirt and suspenders and drinking out of a jug marked XXX.)

Edited by Thunder Bay Rush
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Awwwwwwwwwwww, you guys are the bestest... my phone hasn't stop ringing since Saturday. I keep on having to charge the battery. Anyway, I got a very nice private message from my favourite TRF person ... and she advised me that since I’m a Grampa now I might have to start doing "old man talk," so I started practicing:

 

 

 

Whatcha say? Eh? I can't hear you! Jesus goddam Christ! Bring me my hearing aids. And, where's my goddam teeth? I think I left 'em in the jar by the bathroom sink. How am I s’ppos’ta gonna try to eat my bran cereal without my GODDAM TEETH? Aw, Jesus Christ, I shit my pants again. GODDAM IT! I need another Depends... This thing on my neck is gettin' bigger. I stepped on one of my balls just before you got here and it hurts like a SOB! And, get outta the goddam way. I can't see the Weather Channel. JESUS CHRIST!

 

 

 

Am I on the right track or did I miss something??????????????? (Insert picture of TBR sitting in a rocking chair wearing plaid shirt and suspenders and drinking out of a jug marked XXX.)

 

:LMAO: :LMAO:

 

Nice one TBR.... :ebert: :ebert:

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Awwwwwwwwwwww, you guys are the bestest... my phone hasn't stop ringing since Saturday. I keep on having to charge the battery. Anyway, I got a very nice private message from my favourite TRF person ... and she advised me that since I’m a Grampa now I might have to start doing "old man talk," so I started practicing:

 

 

 

Whatcha say? Eh? I can't hear you! Jesus goddam Christ! Bring me my hearing aids. And, where's my goddam teeth? I think I left 'em in the jar by the bathroom sink. How am I s’ppos’ta gonna try to eat my bran cereal without my GODDAM TEETH? Aw, Jesus Christ, I shit my pants again. GODDAM IT! I need another Depends... This thing on my neck is gettin' bigger. I stepped on one of my balls just before you got here and it hurts like a SOB! And, get outta the goddam way. I can't see the Weather Channel. JESUS CHRIST!

 

 

 

Am I on the right track or did I miss something??????????????? (Insert picture of TBR sitting in a rocking chair wearing plaid shirt and suspenders and drinking out of a jug marked XXX.)

Very good, TBR. Let me put it in my mind's eye....okay got it. Okay, you have black socks with shorts and sandals, and pasty white legs, and you're screaming at those damn kids to get off your lawn. :codger:

 

:eh:

 

I hope everyone gets some well deserved rest.

 

Might I suggest some good lullabys? Indoctrinate early.

 

http://www.amazon.co...h/dp/B004ZC6G20

 

http://www.amazon.co...gItemType=track

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Awwwwwwwwwwww, you guys are the bestest... my phone hasn't stop ringing since Saturday. I keep on having to charge the battery. Anyway, I got a very nice private message from my favourite TRF person ... and she advised me that since I’m a Grampa now I might have to start doing "old man talk," so I started practicing:

 

 

 

Whatcha say? Eh? I can't hear you! Jesus goddam Christ! Bring me my hearing aids. And, where's my goddam teeth? I think I left 'em in the jar by the bathroom sink. How am I s’ppos’ta gonna try to eat my bran cereal without my GODDAM TEETH? Aw, Jesus Christ, I shit my pants again. GODDAM IT! I need another Depends... This thing on my neck is gettin' bigger. I stepped on one of my balls just before you got here and it hurts like a SOB! And, get outta the goddam way. I can't see the Weather Channel. JESUS CHRIST!

 

 

 

Am I on the right track or did I miss something??????????????? (Insert picture of TBR sitting in a rocking chair wearing plaid shirt and suspenders and drinking out of a jug marked XXX.)

Very good, TBR. Let me put it in my mind's eye....okay got it. Okay, you have black socks with shorts and sandals, and pasty white legs, and you're screaming at those damn kids to get off your lawn. :codger:

 

:eh:

 

I hope everyone gets some well deserved rest.

 

Might I suggest some good lullabys? Indoctrinate early.

 

http://www.amazon.co...h/dp/B004ZC6G20

 

http://www.amazon.co...gItemType=track

Yes, the socks with sandals... and - a white "muscle shirt" minus the muscles. I'll have gravy stains on it... Also, there will be these ugly veins running all down my scrawny legs. I'll be yelling at the TV set...

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Awwwwwwwwwwww, you guys are the bestest... my phone hasn't stop ringing since Saturday. I keep on having to charge the battery. Anyway, I got a very nice private message from my favourite TRF person ... and she advised me that since I’m a Grampa now I might have to start doing "old man talk," so I started practicing:

 

 

 

Whatcha say? Eh? I can't hear you! Jesus goddam Christ! Bring me my hearing aids. And, where's my goddam teeth? I think I left 'em in the jar by the bathroom sink. How am I s’ppos’ta gonna try to eat my bran cereal without my GODDAM TEETH? Aw, Jesus Christ, I shit my pants again. GODDAM IT! I need another Depends... This thing on my neck is gettin' bigger. I stepped on one of my balls just before you got here and it hurts like a SOB! And, get outta the goddam way. I can't see the Weather Channel. JESUS CHRIST!

 

 

 

Am I on the right track or did I miss something??????????????? (Insert picture of TBR sitting in a rocking chair wearing plaid shirt and suspenders and drinking out of a jug marked XXX.)

Very good, TBR. Let me put it in my mind's eye....okay got it. Okay, you have black socks with shorts and sandals, and pasty white legs, and you're screaming at those damn kids to get off your lawn. :codger:

 

:eh:

 

I hope everyone gets some well deserved rest.

 

Might I suggest some good lullabys? Indoctrinate early.

 

http://www.amazon.co...h/dp/B004ZC6G20

 

http://www.amazon.co...gItemType=track

Yes, the socks with sandals... and - a white "muscle shirt" minus the muscles. I'll have gravy stains on it... Also, there will be these ugly veins running all down my scrawny legs. I'll be yelling at the TV set...

 

Oh, and you have to learn to DRIVE like an old man too. First you need to get one of those mesh cushion seat thingies - I think it all kicks in naturally once your butt is planted on one of those.

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Awwwwwwwwwwww, you guys are the bestest... my phone hasn't stop ringing since Saturday. I keep on having to charge the battery. Anyway, I got a very nice private message from my favourite TRF person ... and she advised me that since I’m a Grampa now I might have to start doing "old man talk," so I started practicing:

 

 

 

Whatcha say? Eh? I can't hear you! Jesus goddam Christ! Bring me my hearing aids. And, where's my goddam teeth? I think I left 'em in the jar by the bathroom sink. How am I s’ppos’ta gonna try to eat my bran cereal without my GODDAM TEETH? Aw, Jesus Christ, I shit my pants again. GODDAM IT! I need another Depends... This thing on my neck is gettin' bigger. I stepped on one of my balls just before you got here and it hurts like a SOB! And, get outta the goddam way. I can't see the Weather Channel. JESUS CHRIST!

 

 

 

Am I on the right track or did I miss something??????????????? (Insert picture of TBR sitting in a rocking chair wearing plaid shirt and suspenders and drinking out of a jug marked XXX.)

Very good, TBR. Let me put it in my mind's eye....okay got it. Okay, you have black socks with shorts and sandals, and pasty white legs, and you're screaming at those damn kids to get off your lawn. :codger:

 

:eh:

 

I hope everyone gets some well deserved rest.

 

Might I suggest some good lullabys? Indoctrinate early.

 

http://www.amazon.co...h/dp/B004ZC6G20

 

http://www.amazon.co...gItemType=track

Yes, the socks with sandals... and - a white "muscle shirt" minus the muscles. I'll have gravy stains on it... Also, there will be these ugly veins running all down my scrawny legs. I'll be yelling at the TV set...

 

:rfl: Excellent! :ebert:

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Wow! That is so amazing and wonderful!

 

Can't wait to read updates on mom and baby and grandpa!

 

 

lol about the small mouth bass! Babies remind me more of a catfish though, except for the spines of course.

Edited by Animate
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I'm dubious of any thread that begins "You ______ " (fill in the blank- in this case "you women"...just like "you people", etc., etc)...just had to point that out, as that's just how it sounds to me.

 

Crazy story, though, it's true. Congratulations, Thunder Bay cat!

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Awwwwwwwwwwww, you guys are the bestest... my phone hasn't stop ringing since Saturday. I keep on having to charge the battery. Anyway, I got a very nice private message from my favourite TRF person ... and she advised me that since I’m a Grampa now I might have to start doing "old man talk," so I started practicing:

 

 

 

Whatcha say? Eh? I can't hear you! Jesus goddam Christ! Bring me my hearing aids. And, where's my goddam teeth? I think I left 'em in the jar by the bathroom sink. How am I s’ppos’ta gonna try to eat my bran cereal without my GODDAM TEETH? Aw, Jesus Christ, I shit my pants again. GODDAM IT! I need another Depends... This thing on my neck is gettin' bigger. I stepped on one of my balls just before you got here and it hurts like a SOB! And, get outta the goddam way. I can't see the Weather Channel. JESUS CHRIST!

 

 

 

Am I on the right track or did I miss something??????????????? (Insert picture of TBR sitting in a rocking chair wearing plaid shirt and suspenders and drinking out of a jug marked XXX.)

 

:LOL: ..!

 

but one question: how did you step on one of your balls..?

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