Worst cooking/kitchen crimes

[thesweetscience]

Putting milk in eggs.

 

If you want them fluffy put them in a steel bowl and whip them with a wire whisk.

 

Then don't eat at IHOP - they put pancake batter in their scrambled eggs

With the exception of sushi, which I eat once or twice a week, I eat out almost never. I am a far better cook than anyone you will find in any restaurant where I live. When I cook it I know what is in it and I know it is fresh and I know it is done correctly.

 

I would open my own restaurant except that I am afraid I would begin to hate cooking if I had to do it for a living.

We are the same. 90% of food we buy at the grocery store is around the edges... you know... fresh produce, meat, bread, dairy. Only things we buy in the aisles are things like tortilla chips, apple juice, oil and spices... things like that. We usually go out 1 meal a week, and that's about it. My wife makes her own torillas, I make hummus... High BP runs int he family and we do what we can to watch that. I don't have it, but my son does... and he's in better shape than I am.

 

I really enjoy cooking. It's something I kind of learned on my own from watching cooking shows and reading recipes. I think that planning a meal and then shopping for it is a big part of the fun. They opened a Wegman's near me which for those who don't know, is a huge grocery mall with different sections for just about any type of food found on the globe. They have variety like no other. I go there both Saturday and Sunday mornings to get the food we will eat that evening fresh. I try to not cook the same thing too often and as of late I have really started trying to incorporate non-traditional foods into our meals. It has become a really enjoyable hobby for me.

[Lost In Xanadu]

Putting milk in eggs.

 

If you want them fluffy put them in a steel bowl and whip them with a wire whisk.

 

Then don't eat at IHOP - they put pancake batter in their scrambled eggs

With the exception of sushi, which I eat once or twice a week, I eat out almost never. I am a far better cook than anyone you will find in any restaurant where I live. When I cook it I know what is in it and I know it is fresh and I know it is done correctly.

 

I would open my own restaurant except that I am afraid I would begin to hate cooking if I had to do it for a living.

We are the same. 90% of food we buy at the grocery store is around the edges... you know... fresh produce, meat, bread, dairy. Only things we buy in the aisles are things like tortilla chips, apple juice, oil and spices... things like that. We usually go out 1 meal a week, and that's about it. My wife makes her own torillas, I make hummus... High BP runs int he family and we do what we can to watch that. I don't have it, but my son does... and he's in better shape than I am.

 

I really enjoy cooking. It's something I kind of learned on my own from watching cooking shows and reading recipes. I think that planning a meal and then shopping for it is a big part of the fun. They opened a Wegman's near me which for those who don't know, is a huge grocery mall with different sections for just about any type of food found on the globe. They have variety like no other. I go there both Saturday and Sunday mornings to get the food we will eat that evening fresh. I try to not cook the same thing too often and as of late I have really started trying to incorporate non-traditional foods into our meals. It has become a really enjoyable hobby for me.

 

I'm lucky because there is a high quality (slightly higher priced, but not too much) store right on my way home from work. We cook fresh almost everyday, except for the nights we eat the leftovers. :)

[thesweetscience]

Putting milk in eggs.

 

If you want them fluffy put them in a steel bowl and whip them with a wire whisk.

 

Then don't eat at IHOP - they put pancake batter in their scrambled eggs

With the exception of sushi, which I eat once or twice a week, I eat out almost never. I am a far better cook than anyone you will find in any restaurant where I live. When I cook it I know what is in it and I know it is fresh and I know it is done correctly.

 

I would open my own restaurant except that I am afraid I would begin to hate cooking if I had to do it for a living.

We are the same. 90% of food we buy at the grocery store is around the edges... you know... fresh produce, meat, bread, dairy. Only things we buy in the aisles are things like tortilla chips, apple juice, oil and spices... things like that. We usually go out 1 meal a week, and that's about it. My wife makes her own torillas, I make hummus... High BP runs int he family and we do what we can to watch that. I don't have it, but my son does... and he's in better shape than I am.

 

I really enjoy cooking. It's something I kind of learned on my own from watching cooking shows and reading recipes. I think that planning a meal and then shopping for it is a big part of the fun. They opened a Wegman's near me which for those who don't know, is a huge grocery mall with different sections for just about any type of food found on the globe. They have variety like no other. I go there both Saturday and Sunday mornings to get the food we will eat that evening fresh. I try to not cook the same thing too often and as of late I have really started trying to incorporate non-traditional foods into our meals. It has become a really enjoyable hobby for me.

 

I'm lucky because there is a high quality (slightly higher priced, but not too much) store right on my way home from work. We cook fresh almost everyday, except for the nights we eat the leftovers. :)

 

Lack of time only allows me to really go all out on weekends.

 

My weekday meals are usually a huge salad and either chicken or fish baked in as simple a way possible(IE salt and pepper). I just don't have time to do more.

[Lost In Xanadu]

 

Lack of time only allows me to really go all out on weekends.

 

My weekday meals are usually a huge salad and either chicken or fish baked in as simple a way possible(IE salt and pepper). I just don't have time to do more.

 

Plan ahead and cook stuff in the slow cooker. Have made carnitas, pulled pork, chicken stew... really good during the cold months. Almost never use the slow cooker once Spring hits - looks like I have about 2 or 3 more months to go before putting in away here

[thesweetscience]

Lack of time only allows me to really go all out on weekends.

 

My weekday meals are usually a huge salad and either chicken or fish baked in as simple a way possible(IE salt and pepper). I just don't have time to do more.

 

Plan ahead and cook stuff in the slow cooker. Have made carnitas, pulled pork, chicken stew... really good during the cold months. Almost never use the slow cooker once Spring hits - looks like I have about 2 or 3 more months to go before putting in away here

I spend 2 1/2 hrs in the car every day. I get up and leave at 5 am and get home around 7pm. There is no time really. Also I have been doing my best to cook as healthy as possible. I work out every morning and it is hard to come up with fast meals that are still healthy. Sundays are usually my day to indulge and so beef and pasta are usually served on those days but the rest of the week I try and stay with healthy recipes that taste good. During the week fresh raw fruits and vegetables and some form of lean protein are my staples because they are simple and fast. Usually whatever I cook that night I do enough for lunch the next day as well.

[Lost In Xanadu]

Lack of time only allows me to really go all out on weekends.

 

My weekday meals are usually a huge salad and either chicken or fish baked in as simple a way possible(IE salt and pepper). I just don't have time to do more.

 

Plan ahead and cook stuff in the slow cooker. Have made carnitas, pulled pork, chicken stew... really good during the cold months. Almost never use the slow cooker once Spring hits - looks like I have about 2 or 3 more months to go before putting in away here

I spend 2 1/2 hrs in the car every day. I get up and leave at 5 am and get home around 7pm. There is no time really. Also I have been doing my best to cook as healthy as possible. I work out every morning and it is hard to come up with fast meals that are still healthy. Sundays are usually my day to indulge and so beef and pasta are usually served on those days but the rest of the week I try and stay with healthy recipes that taste good. During the week fresh raw fruits and vegetables and some form of lean protein are my staples because they are simple and fast. Usually whatever I cook that night I do enough for lunch the next day as well.

 

Holy crap! I see what you are saying. I leave the house around 7:30, drop my daughter off at school and am at work around 8:00. Leave around 4:30, stop at the store and get home around 5:15-5:30. Having a little more flexibility sure helps.

[ILSnwdog]

Gimmie a nice Merlot.

 

 

I am NOT drinking Merlot!!! ;)

I love that movie.

[ILSnwdog]

Lack of time only allows me to really go all out on weekends.

 

My weekday meals are usually a huge salad and either chicken or fish baked in as simple a way possible(IE salt and pepper). I just don't have time to do more.

 

Plan ahead and cook stuff in the slow cooker. Have made carnitas, pulled pork, chicken stew... really good during the cold months. Almost never use the slow cooker once Spring hits - looks like I have about 2 or 3 more months to go before putting in away here

I spend 2 1/2 hrs in the car every day. I get up and leave at 5 am and get home around 7pm. There is no time really. Also I have been doing my best to cook as healthy as possible. I work out every morning and it is hard to come up with fast meals that are still healthy. Sundays are usually my day to indulge and so beef and pasta are usually served on those days but the rest of the week I try and stay with healthy recipes that taste good. During the week fresh raw fruits and vegetables and some form of lean protein are my staples because they are simple and fast. Usually whatever I cook that night I do enough for lunch the next day as well.

You guys sound a lot like me. I like cooking too, and my wife has told me that a lot of my recipes are better than what she gets at restaurants. I think both of you guys get into cooking a little more than me though.

[Lost In Xanadu]

Lack of time only allows me to really go all out on weekends.

 

My weekday meals are usually a huge salad and either chicken or fish baked in as simple a way possible(IE salt and pepper). I just don't have time to do more.

 

Plan ahead and cook stuff in the slow cooker. Have made carnitas, pulled pork, chicken stew... really good during the cold months. Almost never use the slow cooker once Spring hits - looks like I have about 2 or 3 more months to go before putting in away here

I spend 2 1/2 hrs in the car every day. I get up and leave at 5 am and get home around 7pm. There is no time really. Also I have been doing my best to cook as healthy as possible. I work out every morning and it is hard to come up with fast meals that are still healthy. Sundays are usually my day to indulge and so beef and pasta are usually served on those days but the rest of the week I try and stay with healthy recipes that taste good. During the week fresh raw fruits and vegetables and some form of lean protein are my staples because they are simple and fast. Usually whatever I cook that night I do enough for lunch the next day as well.

You guys sound a lot like me. I like cooking too, and my wife has told me that a lot of my recipes are better than what she gets at restaurants. I think both of you guys get into cooking a little more than me though.

 

My wife will not get certain things at a restaurant anymore... she only likes my recipe now.

[thesweetscience]

Lack of time only allows me to really go all out on weekends.

 

My weekday meals are usually a huge salad and either chicken or fish baked in as simple a way possible(IE salt and pepper). I just don't have time to do more.

 

Plan ahead and cook stuff in the slow cooker. Have made carnitas, pulled pork, chicken stew... really good during the cold months. Almost never use the slow cooker once Spring hits - looks like I have about 2 or 3 more months to go before putting in away here

I spend 2 1/2 hrs in the car every day. I get up and leave at 5 am and get home around 7pm. There is no time really. Also I have been doing my best to cook as healthy as possible. I work out every morning and it is hard to come up with fast meals that are still healthy. Sundays are usually my day to indulge and so beef and pasta are usually served on those days but the rest of the week I try and stay with healthy recipes that taste good. During the week fresh raw fruits and vegetables and some form of lean protein are my staples because they are simple and fast. Usually whatever I cook that night I do enough for lunch the next day as well.

 

Holy crap! I see what you are saying. I leave the house around 7:30, drop my daughter off at school and am at work around 8:00. Leave around 4:30, stop at the store and get home around 5:15-5:30. Having a little more flexibility sure helps.

 

I am jealous.

[Tom Sawyer]

Yeah, it used to drive me nuts when i would bbq a fillet mignon to perfection only to watch my wife dip it in ranch. But after 23 years - I don't care anymore. When I order prime rib, it comes with a jigger of au jus, is that a culinary faux paux? Edited March 29, 2013 by Tom Sawyer

[ILSnwdog]

I know that I hate cooking in other peoples kitchens where they don't have decent tools. Pans where the non stick surface has worn off. Cheap knives that don't have an edge. Makes me crazy.

 

I love my kitchen. I have nice pans that I bought at Macy's. I also have all Zwilling Professional S knives. :haz:

[Mara]

I know that I hate cooking in other peoples kitchens where they don't have decent tools. Pans where the non stick surface has worn off. Cheap knives that don't have an edge. Makes me crazy.

 

I love my kitchen. I have nice pans that I bought at Macy's. I also have all Zwilling Professional S knives. :haz:

 

I made a London Broil the day after moving into our current house. Not everything was unpacked yet, including several of the kitchen implements. I used the claw end of a hammer (cleaned to a tee) to pull the meat out of the oven.

 

I do enjoy a nice spicy horseradish on prime rib. Anything else - ketchup, Heinz 57 - is wrong IMO.

[Tombstone Mountain]

my wife's tendency to dip steak in ketchup...makes me crazy

 

A steak seasoned and cooked properly shouldn't need to be dipped in anything.

I know...that's why it makes me crazy.

[Mara]

I also hate it when someone makes chili or spaghetti sauce with ground beef (I prefer chili with slow-cooked stew beef, but the ground is usually more cost-efficient) and stirs it to death. The meat ends up in little bitty pellets and makes the dish grainy. I don't need gigantic meatball-like hunks, but I do like my chili to have some body to it.

[Ya_Big_Tree]

Gimmie a nice Merlot.

 

 

I am NOT drinking Merlot!!! :rage: ;)

Nice!

 

For me it's an extreme fear of food poisoning that i need no pink. Also I don't like the taste of beef so I don't order it when I eat out. But if Im a guest for dinner at someone's house, I'm not going to not eat what they cook. I always get the same look everytime I ask for well done but meh, that's just how I deal with it.

[umoveme]

Warm tuna

 

When people get mayonnaise or butter on their finger and suck it off

 

Miracle whip

 

Runny yolk

 

Corn and/or carrots in Mexican rice

[peter_heijnen]

I'm more than glad to answer that. That was taken on the coast of Italy in an area called the Cinque Terre (5 villages). That particular village is Vernazza. That whole area (and meals) will make you weep out of love.

Perhaps the pic made you think of parmesan cheese. Oh, if you are really interested in seeing more pics like it you can search for a thread I did a while back for that awesome trip.

Thx a lot! :)

 

We'll be in italy this summer for vacation. I dont think my girlfirend will protest if i suggest to make an extra stop there.

[Lost In Xanadu]

I know that I hate cooking in other peoples kitchens where they don't have decent tools. Pans where the non stick surface has worn off. Cheap knives that don't have an edge. Makes me crazy.

 

I love my kitchen. I have nice pans that I bought at Macy's. I also have all Zwilling Professional S knives. :haz:

 

Amen brother!! You should have seen the cluster we had trying to cook at my sis-in-laws over Christmas.

[Thunder Bay Rush]

Aside from the obvious food safety violations (e.g. raw poultry drippings everywhere), what do you consider to be the most grievous culinary insults?

 

My husband will drown something in ketchup, marinara sauce, or sour cream before he even tastes it. I nearly killed him over it one time after I'd spent the entire day and a considerable amount of $$$$ making feijoada, which is extremely labor-intensive. He grabbed the sour cream and literally FROSTED the entire top of his serving with it. Really, I don't mind if someone seasons something I've worked hard on - just TASTE IT FIRST.

 

Also, don't ask me for one of my recipes, substitute fat-free everything, and then wonder why your version tastes like ass.

 

Almost goes without saying, but overcooking a nice cut of meat almost brings me to tears.

 

 

Mara, could NOT agree more! I once made a killer jambolaya, which is not a tough dish, but it was a good dish and "scratch-made." My GF of the time started pouring BBQ sauce on the effing thing before she tasted it! I kicked her shin under the table...

 

It's funny (but also not funny at the same time) that people who don't cook (other than warming up processed chicken fingers) have NO clue how much time and effort... and money, it takes to put a killer meal together. I have 6 people coming over tomorrow and I've already started prepping for it.

 

EXNAY on the ketchup...

 

And, LEAVE MARA'S RECIPES ALONE! If she says to use "sour cream" don't use that sissy-ass low fat shit! You woudn`t want your dish to taste like ass...

Edited March 30, 2013 by Thunder Bay Rush

[Thunder Bay Rush]

I also hate it when someone makes chili or spaghetti sauce with ground beef (I prefer chili with slow-cooked stew beef, but the ground is usually more cost-efficient) and stirs it to death. The meat ends up in little bitty pellets and makes the dish grainy. I don't need gigantic meatball-like hunks, but I do like my chili to have some body to it.

 

 

Try moose or deer meat... lean and chunky if you want it to be!!

[gangsterfurious]

My mother... God bless her. She doesn't cut things evenly. She makes soups and the various sizes of the vegetables range from huge to minuscule so you might get a big crunchy piece of carrot or a mushy little piece. I've TRIED to talk to her about this but she doesn't listen, she just says she has her own style and to leave her alone.

 

:sarcastic:

[Thunder Bay Rush]

WARM UP THE GODDAM PLATES BEFORE YOU PUT HOT FOOD ON THEM!

 

I'm surprised nobody has mentioned this yet. I like my hot food to be hot when it comes to my table... includng my coffee or tea.

 

I do have some culinary training, I consider myself "sort of" a chef, I worked in a few high-end restaurants back in my younger day and I owned a restaurant of my own at one time. So, if you come to my house for dinner, it's unlikely you'll throw up on the floor after eating my food. But, I used to warm up the plates (and soup bowls and coffee mugs) long before any training or restaurant experience. Just common sense...

 

Have you ever wondered why your food is cold before you've eaten half of it? I don't ever remember eating at someone's house where they warmed up the plates. In fact, most times, the plates are freezing cold before the hot food is plated. Cold gravy - yuk... cold egg yolk - double yuk.

 

There are two reasons why, at least in decent restaurants, the food servers use small cloth towels or napkins to carry the plates to the tables: one, so their hands and fingers are not touching the rims of the plates (health inspectors HATE seeing that!) and two, because the plates are hot!

 

I don't have a microwave (hate them) but if you do, four plates at about 60 - 90 seconds is about right... I do almost ALL of my cooking on an old time wood burning cookstove, so I stick my plates in the overhead warming shelf. Or, you can run the plates (and bowls and mugs, nothing worse than "warm" coffee or soup) under hot water for a few seconds. The easiest way to warm your plates is to simply place them in your oven after it's already been on... or if you didn't use it to cook the food, just turn it on anyway at about 160 F for a couple minutes. If you have alot of plates, use the oven, but you may have to restack them because the ones in the middle of the big pile won't warm up very quickly. Microwaves are handy here. If you're making a toasted sandwich, put the plate you plan to use on top of the toaster while the bread is down.

 

Warm up your plates... especially if you invite ME to your house.

 

RD

Edited March 30, 2013 by Thunder Bay Rush

[Thunder Bay Rush]

My mother... God bless her. She doesn't cut things evenly. She makes soups and the various sizes of the vegetables range from huge to minuscule so you might get a big crunchy piece of carrot or a mushy little piece. I've TRIED to talk to her about this but she doesn't listen, she just says she has her own style and to leave her alone.

 

:sarcastic:

 

Okay, compliment time for my little Gangster (who is "furious") buddy from CA. You are the first person I've ever heard mention this. Cutting vegetables to uniform size (small dice, medium dice, batonette, brunoise, julienne, fine julienne, etc) is one of the first things they teach us at culinary school. Otherwise, like you said, some of the pieces (of carrot, for example) are cooked while others are not. There is indeed a "correct way" to dice an onion, for example.

 

:goodone:

[gangsterfurious]

WARM UP THE GODDAM PLATES BEFORE YOU PUT HOT FOOD ON THEM!

 

I'm surprised nobody has mentioned this yet. I like my hot food to be hot when it comes to my table... includng my coffee or tea.

 

I do have some culinary training, I consider myself "sort of" a chef, I worked in a few high-end restaurants back in my younger day and I owned a restaurant of my own at one time. So, if you come to my house for dinner, it's unlikely you'll throw up on the floor after eating my food. But, I used to warm up the plates (and soup bowls and coffee mugs) long before any training or restaurant experience. Just common sense...

 

Have you ever wondered why your food is cold before you've eaten half of it? I don't ever remember eating at someone's house where they warmed up the plates. In fact, most times, the plates are freezing cold before the hot food is plated. Cold gravy - yuk... cold egg yolk - double yuk.

 

There are two reasons why, at least in decent restaurants, the food servers use small cloth towels or napkins to carry the plates to the tables: one, so their hands and fingers are not touching the rims of the plates (health inspectors HATE seeing that!) and two, because the plates are hot!

 

I don't have a microwave (hate them) but if you do, four plates at about 60 - 90 seconds is about right... I do almost ALL of my cooking on an old time wood burning cookstove, so I stick my plates in the overhead warming shelf. Or, you can run the plates (and bowls and mugs, nothing worse than "warm" coffee or soup) under hot water for a few seconds. The easiest way to warm your plates is to simply place them in your oven after it's already been on... or if you didn't use it to cook the food, just turn it on anyway at about 160 F for a couple minutes. If you have alot of plates, use the oven, but you may have to restack them because the ones in the middle of the big pile won't warm up very quickly. Microwaves are handy here. If you're making a toasted sandwich, put the plate you plan to use on top of the toaster while the bread is down.

 

Warm up your plates... especially if you invite ME to your house.

 

RD

 

I like my food cold, it reminds me of my heart and my soul, cold.

 

*makes grumpy cat face*

 

On a more serious note though... As much as I appreciate hot food I've noticed that many restaurants like to bring out plates that burn my fingertips off. and must be brought to the table with the assistance of an oven mitt.

 

There must be a happy medium.