Worst cooking/kitchen crimes

[John V]

I have 3 Weber Kettles (2 22" and a 18") and an electric water smoker. Not the best smoker, but it does a great job for what I need it to do.

 

Home depot just had a sale on charcoal - 2 20lb bags for $9.88. I bought 12 of them I go thru a lot of charcoal, even grilling in the winter. That's a commitment here in WI. I only use my smoker when the temp is 50 degrees or warmer. I love smoking ribs 3-2-1 method. Also do salmon, brisket, pork shoulder and pork loin. I wasn't too sure about the pork loin, seeing it is quite lean, but it was absolutely amazing. For all of my non-fish smoking, I put a rub on the night before, mop every hour, and wrap in foil to finish without smoke. (ribs being the exception, that last hour is out of the foil to firm them up a little.) For the salmon, I do the traditional brine, and then let it sit uncovered to form the pellicle.

 

I completely agree about the steak. When I was growing up, I hated any fat on my steak, and it had to be at least medium-well. Same thing I am going thru with our kids. Luckily a whole tenderloin goes on sale for $4.99 here :) I love a good ribeye or porterhouse, but I only buy those when it's just my wife and I.

 

I also bought 8 bags of charcoal at Lowe's last weekend I did not think I would ever see that price again. May not ever see it again?

 

"Pellicle" I had to look it up. But I get it. I also like a firm shell like crust on my grilled salmon. I make a honey, bourbon glaze and very high heat to get that result.

 

Fillet for $4.99. Wow!! I would buy it all the time. We are members at Costco, but it is still quite high. Untrimmed whole is still about $8.00 a pound. Then you loose 1/3 or better after you trim it up.

I am very high (no pun intended) on heavily marbled steaks.

Seems I can find a pack of thick prime NY Strips and or Ribeye in the USDA case at Costco.

 

You see here in the south, any fat visible is immediately put to the side. So well marbled steaks are easy to find at Costco. I think they are prime and someone in the butcher shop is reserving that pack for themselves for me to come along and grab all of them. LOL

I seem to find at least one pack of prime each time I go.

 

You sound like a knowledgeable chef. Good to meet you and the others.

[John V]

PS.............I also make my own rub, spice mix, wash and BBQ sauce.

I tend to like things a bit spicy.

[The Analog Grownup]

The odd fool who makes it obvious the cooking isn't great by talking about they would prepare the dish.

 

 

I'm partly guilty of that but it's more an inspiration I get because the food I had was good. I know it is considered rude, so I make sure and compliment the chef.

[The Analog Grownup]

It drives me crazy when people chew with their mouth open. It just really gets under my skin. People who seasons my food before tasting it. Cover it in salt as much as you like, but please taste it first. Don't assume my cooking sucks. I also have a hard time understanding why some can't whip up a mayo. If done correctly you can just stir it together, it's that easy.

 

Okay enough ranting. I will admit to some of the aforementioned "crimes": I sometimes suck my fingers clean, though not in restaurants. All too often I'm eyeing the last piece of food on the table. One time I was at a birthday party with my ex-girlfriends family. Me and one of her sisters husband were having a eating contest, to see who could eat the most. She later said to me that it was some of the most unsexy she had seen. She was right it was kind of gross. Didn't get lucky that night

[Mara]

It drives me crazy when people chew with their mouth open. It just really gets under my skin. People who seasons my food before tasting it. Cover it in salt as much as you like, but please taste it first. Don't assume my cooking sucks. I also have a hard time understanding why some can't whip up a mayo. If done correctly you can just stir it together, it's that easy.

 

Okay enough ranting. I will admit to some of the aforementioned "crimes": I sometimes suck my fingers clean, though not in restaurants. All too often I'm eyeing the last piece of food on the table. One time I was at a birthday party with my ex-girlfriends family. Me and one of her sisters husband were having a eating contest, to see who could eat the most. She later said to me that it was some of the most unsexy she had seen. She was right it was kind of gross. Didn't get lucky that night

 

I came as close as I think I ever will to perpetuating an act of violence against my husband this weekend. His crime? I'd made chicken cordon bleu - not difficult, but a little messy and some work. Before he even tasted it, he grabbed a bottle of some kind of crappy honey mouse-turd (not an auto-correct, it's accurate). He was all set to squirt it on his chicken; I looked daggers at him and said, "If you dump that shit on there without tasting it first, I swear I will punch you in the throat."

 

I love the man dearly and there are far worse flaws, but he has a white trash palate. We went to our favorite pizzeria not too long ago, Blue Moon. He ordered the southwestern chicken pizza, which has a sour cream/cheese sauce, refried beans, green onion, peppers, and seasoned chicken on it. Then he asked for a dish of marinara sauce to dump over it.

[The Analog Grownup]

It drives me crazy when people chew with their mouth open. It just really gets under my skin. People who seasons my food before tasting it. Cover it in salt as much as you like, but please taste it first. Don't assume my cooking sucks. I also have a hard time understanding why some can't whip up a mayo. If done correctly you can just stir it together, it's that easy.

 

Okay enough ranting. I will admit to some of the aforementioned "crimes": I sometimes suck my fingers clean, though not in restaurants. All too often I'm eyeing the last piece of food on the table. One time I was at a birthday party with my ex-girlfriends family. Me and one of her sisters husband were having a eating contest, to see who could eat the most. She later said to me that it was some of the most unsexy she had seen. She was right it was kind of gross. Didn't get lucky that night

 

I came as close as I think I ever will to perpetuating an act of violence against my husband this weekend. His crime? I'd made chicken cordon bleu - not difficult, but a little messy and some work. Before he even tasted it, he grabbed a bottle of some kind of crappy honey mouse-turd (not an auto-correct, it's accurate). He was all set to squirt it on his chicken; I looked daggers at him and said, "If you dump that shit on there without tasting it first, I swear I will punch you in the throat."

 

I love the man dearly and there are far worse flaws, but he has a white trash palate. We went to our favorite pizzeria not too long ago, Blue Moon. He ordered the southwestern chicken pizza, which has a sour cream/cheese sauce, refried beans, green onion, peppers, and seasoned chicken on it. Then he asked for a dish of marinara sauce to dump over it.

 

What some people are doing to destroy their tastebuds is beyond me.

It took me a while to learn that less is more in cooking. Pizza is a good example. Tomato sauce, slices of chorizo sausage and little lumps of mozzarella. Not the grated but an entire lump where you can tear the pieces off. All the flavor is in the tomato sauce for me. Once made a pizza with 9-10 different topics and it just tasted bland and insignificant. Too much, too much.

 

Chicken Cordon Bleu sounds delicious. Don't like it as a ready-made dish but home cooked must be an entirely different matter. Your husband should treat it with respect

[Mara]

It drives me crazy when people chew with their mouth open. It just really gets under my skin. People who seasons my food before tasting it. Cover it in salt as much as you like, but please taste it first. Don't assume my cooking sucks. I also have a hard time understanding why some can't whip up a mayo. If done correctly you can just stir it together, it's that easy.

 

Okay enough ranting. I will admit to some of the aforementioned "crimes": I sometimes suck my fingers clean, though not in restaurants. All too often I'm eyeing the last piece of food on the table. One time I was at a birthday party with my ex-girlfriends family. Me and one of her sisters husband were having a eating contest, to see who could eat the most. She later said to me that it was some of the most unsexy she had seen. She was right it was kind of gross. Didn't get lucky that night

 

I came as close as I think I ever will to perpetuating an act of violence against my husband this weekend. His crime? I'd made chicken cordon bleu - not difficult, but a little messy and some work. Before he even tasted it, he grabbed a bottle of some kind of crappy honey mouse-turd (not an auto-correct, it's accurate). He was all set to squirt it on his chicken; I looked daggers at him and said, "If you dump that shit on there without tasting it first, I swear I will punch you in the throat."

 

I love the man dearly and there are far worse flaws, but he has a white trash palate. We went to our favorite pizzeria not too long ago, Blue Moon. He ordered the southwestern chicken pizza, which has a sour cream/cheese sauce, refried beans, green onion, peppers, and seasoned chicken on it. Then he asked for a dish of marinara sauce to dump over it.

 

What some people are doing to destroy their tastebuds is beyond me.

It took me a while to learn that less is more in cooking. Pizza is a good example. Tomato sauce, slices of chorizo sausage and little lumps of mozzarella. Not the grated but an entire lump where you can tear the pieces off. All the flavor is in the tomato sauce for me. Once made a pizza with 9-10 different topics and it just tasted bland and insignificant. Too much, too much.

 

Chicken Cordon Bleu sounds delicious. Don't like it as a ready-made dish but home cooked must be an entirely different matter. Your husband should treat it with respect

 

Don't even get me started on the Great Feijoada Incident. Feijoada, if you aren't familiar with Brazil's specialty, is (A) delicious, (B) expensive to make, and © a fuckload of work.

 

In his best trailer park style, husband covered his portion with sour cream (it looked like frosting on a cake, he used that much) and KETCHUP. Don't get me wrong, I tend to view ketchup as a beverage myself, but there are some places where it simply does not belong.

 

I have not made it since. Gourmet cooking is wasted on the man. It's odd, because he's not some kind of rube. We can go out to eat at nice places and never once does he ask the staff at Kiosco (best Colombian restaurant outside of Colombia) for ketchup, sour cream, or A1 sauce. He never salts or peppers anything, btw. It's just this disgusting love affair with condiments he has going on.