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#41 Lost In Xanadu

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Posted 18 February 2013 - 11:16 AM

Homer: God, if you really are God, you'll get me tickets to that game.
        [doorbell rings]
  Ned: Heidely-ho, neighbor.  Wanna go to the game with me?  I got two
       tick --
Homer: [slams the door] Why do you mock me, O Lord?
Marge: Homer, that's not God.  That's just a waffle that Bart tossed up
       there.
       [Marge scrapes it off into Homer's hands]
Homer: I know I shouldn't eat thee, but -- [bites] Mmm, sacrilicious.

That night, Homer sneaks over to Ned's house with a lead pipe in his
hand.

       [Homer rings Ned's doorbell]
Marge: [calling from window] Homer?
Homer: Huh?
Marge: Are you planning to hit Ned Flanders with that pipe and take his
       tickets?
Homer: Ye -- no...
  Ned: [answers door] Huh?  [Homer winds up]
Homer: Oh.  [winds down] Flanders, I decided I'd like to go to the game
       with you.
  Ned: Well, get out the Crayloas and color me "Tickled Pink".  Ooh,
       what's with the lead pipe, were you going to give my noggin a
       flogging?
Homer: [sheepish] Well, yeah.

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#42 theredtamasrule

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Posted 18 February 2013 - 07:03 PM

SKINNER!!!!

#43 Lost In Xanadu

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Posted 18 February 2013 - 07:55 PM

Steamed hams

#44 invisible airwave

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Posted 18 February 2013 - 08:24 PM

View PostCygnusGal, on 18 February 2013 - 10:28 AM, said:

Quote

Burns: I'll kill you, you bloated museum of treachery!
Homer: You and what army?
[imagines Nazi snowmen behind Burns]
   [gasps and shakes] Stand back!  I have powers!  [threateningly]
   Political powers!
Burns: [imagines dead world leaders behind Homer] Uuh!
-- Slightly revised history with Gandhi playing kick-boxing,
  "Mountain of Madness"


Mr. Burns: Well, Simpson, I must say, once you've been through something like that with a person, you never want to see that person again.

Homer: You said it, you weirdo.


#45 Babycat

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Posted 20 February 2013 - 03:25 AM

View PostLost In Xanadu, on 18 February 2013 - 11:16 AM, said:

Homer: God, if you really are God, you'll get me tickets to that game.
        [doorbell rings]
  Ned: Heidely-ho, neighbor.  Wanna go to the game with me?  I got two
       tick --
Homer: [slams the door] Why do you mock me, O Lord?
Marge: Homer, that's not God.  That's just a waffle that Bart tossed up
       there.
       [Marge scrapes it off into Homer's hands]
Homer: I know I shouldn't eat thee, but -- [bites] Mmm, sacrilicious.

That night, Homer sneaks over to Ned's house with a lead pipe in his
hand.

       [Homer rings Ned's doorbell]
Marge: [calling from window] Homer?
Homer: Huh?
Marge: Are you planning to hit Ned Flanders with that pipe and take his
       tickets?
Homer: Ye -- no...
  Ned: [answers door] Huh?  [Homer winds up]
Homer: Oh.  [winds down] Flanders, I decided I'd like to go to the game
       with you.
  Ned: Well, get out the Crayloas and color me "Tickled Pink".  Ooh,
       what's with the lead pipe, were you going to give my noggin a
       flogging?
Homer: [sheepish] Well, yeah.

:P

#46 CygnusGal

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Posted 20 February 2013 - 05:47 AM

View Postinvisible airwave, on 18 February 2013 - 08:24 PM, said:

View PostCygnusGal, on 18 February 2013 - 10:28 AM, said:

Quote

Burns: I'll kill you, you bloated museum of treachery!
Homer: You and what army?
[imagines Nazi snowmen behind Burns]
   [gasps and shakes] Stand back!  I have powers!  [threateningly]
   Political powers!
Burns: [imagines dead world leaders behind Homer] Uuh!
-- Slightly revised history with Gandhi playing kick-boxing,
  "Mountain of Madness"


Mr. Burns: Well, Simpson, I must say, once you've been through something like that with a person, you never want to see that person again.
Homer: You said it, you weirdo.
:lol: :unsure: :lol:

#47 treeduck

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Posted 20 February 2013 - 06:21 AM

I have two Homer Simpson coffee mugs...but I don't drink coffee... :doh:

#48 Lost In Xanadu

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Posted 20 February 2013 - 10:31 AM

View PostCygnusGal, on 18 February 2013 - 10:28 AM, said:

Quote

Burns: I'll kill you, you bloated museum of treachery!

Made me think of this:
Lawyer: Your Honor, even though I've proven my client's innocence, I'd
        still like to call Freddy Quimby to the stand.  So that we can
        all bask in his gentle decency.
        Mr. Quimby, did you assault Mr. LaCoste?
Freddy: Of course not.  I love each and every thing on God's green
        earth.
Lawyer: Therefore, you would never lose your temper over something as
        trivial as the pronunciation of "chowder".
Freddy: That's "chowdah"!  Chowdah!  I'll kill you!  I'll kill all of
        you, especially those of you in the jury!
Lawyer: Wow, that didn't go well.  The defense rests.

#49 invisible airwave

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Posted 20 February 2013 - 12:05 PM

View PostLost In Xanadu, on 20 February 2013 - 10:31 AM, said:

View PostCygnusGal, on 18 February 2013 - 10:28 AM, said:

Quote

Burns: I'll kill you, you bloated museum of treachery!

Made me think of this:
Lawyer: Your Honor, even though I've proven my client's innocence, I'd
still like to call Freddy Quimby to the stand.  So that we can
all bask in his gentle decency.
Mr. Quimby, did you assault Mr. LaCoste?
Freddy: Of course not.  I love each and every thing on God's green
earth.
Lawyer: Therefore, you would never lose your temper over something as
trivial as the pronunciation of "chowder".
Freddy: That's "chowdah"!  Chowdah!  I'll kill you!  I'll kill all of
you, especially those of you in the jury!
Lawyer: Wow, that didn't go well.  The defense rests.

Principal Skinner: I know you can read my thoughts, Bart. Just remember, if I find out you cut class, your ass is mine. Yes, you heard me. I think words I would never say.
Homer: I know you can read my thoughts, Bart. Meow-Meow-Meow-Meow-Meow-Meow-Meow-Meow-Meow...

#50 Lost In Xanadu

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Posted 20 February 2013 - 12:20 PM

Hutz: Ladies and gentlemen, I'm going to prove to you not only that
         Freddy Quimby is guilty, but that he is also innocent of not
         being guilty.  I refer you to my expert witness, Dr. Hibbert.
Hibbert: Well, only one in two million people has what we call the "evil
         gene". Hitler had it, Walt Disney had it, and Freddy Quimby has it.
   Hutz: Thank you, Dr. Hibbert.  I rest my case.
  Judge: You rest your case?
   Hutz: What?  Oh no, I thought that was just a figure of speech.  Case
         closed.

#51 invisible airwave

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Posted 20 February 2013 - 08:21 PM

Bart: I can't let Dad see me playing hooky! Homer: I can't let the boy see me skipping work! [Bart brushes his hair forward; Homer uses a comb as a mustache] Bart: [walking past] Good afternoon. Homer: [walking past] How do you do, sir? Bart & Homer: [chuckle] Sucker...

#52 Lost In Xanadu

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Posted 20 February 2013 - 08:46 PM

A spoor! His brand of gum, Doublemint.  Trying to double your fun, eh, Bart?  Well, I'll double your detention.  {Heh.  I wish someone was around to hear that.} And so we enter...endgame.

#53 Babycat

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Posted 21 February 2013 - 10:19 AM

View Postinvisible airwave, on 20 February 2013 - 12:05 PM, said:

View PostLost In Xanadu, on 20 February 2013 - 10:31 AM, said:

View PostCygnusGal, on 18 February 2013 - 10:28 AM, said:

Quote

Burns: I'll kill you, you bloated museum of treachery!

Made me think of this:
Lawyer: Your Honor, even though I've proven my client's innocence, I'd
        still like to call Freddy Quimby to the stand.  So that we can
        all bask in his gentle decency.
        Mr. Quimby, did you assault Mr. LaCoste?
Freddy: Of course not.  I love each and every thing on God's green
        earth.
Lawyer: Therefore, you would never lose your temper over something as
        trivial as the pronunciation of "chowder".
Freddy: That's "chowdah"!  Chowdah!  I'll kill you!  I'll kill all of
        you, especially those of you in the jury!
Lawyer: Wow, that didn't go well.  The defense rests.

Principal Skinner: I know you can read my thoughts, Bart. Just remember, if I find out you cut class, your ass is mine. Yes, you heard me. I think words I would never say.
Homer: I know you can read my thoughts, Bart. Meow-Meow-Meow-Meow-Meow-Meow-Meow-Meow-Meow...

:lol:

#54 Stormtron

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Posted 21 February 2013 - 10:31 AM



#55 Stormtron

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Posted 21 February 2013 - 10:48 AM

This always cracks me up.....



"Sorry it's not in packages." :lol:

#56 invisible airwave

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Posted 21 February 2013 - 03:07 PM

View PostStorm Shadow, on 21 February 2013 - 10:31 AM, said:



Purple monkey dishwasher!

#57 CygnusGal

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Posted 21 February 2013 - 07:06 PM

View PostLost In Xanadu, on 20 February 2013 - 10:31 AM, said:

View PostCygnusGal, on 18 February 2013 - 10:28 AM, said:

Quote

Burns: I'll kill you, you bloated museum of treachery!

Made me think of this:
Lawyer: Your Honor, even though I've proven my client's innocence, I'd
still like to call Freddy Quimby to the stand.  So that we can
all bask in his gentle decency.
Mr. Quimby, did you assault Mr. LaCoste?
Freddy: Of course not.  I love each and every thing on God's green
earth.
Lawyer: Therefore, you would never lose your temper over something as
trivial as the pronunciation of "chowder".
Freddy: That's "chowdah"!  Chowdah!  I'll kill you!  I'll kill all of
you, especially those of you in the jury!
Lawyer: Wow, that didn't go well.  The defense rests.

View PostLost In Xanadu, on 20 February 2013 - 12:20 PM, said:

Hutz: Ladies and gentlemen, I'm going to prove to you not only that
Freddy Quimby is guilty, but that he is also innocent of not
being guilty.  I refer you to my expert witness, Dr. Hibbert.
Hibbert: Well, only one in two million people has what we call the "evil
gene". Hitler had it, Walt Disney had it, and Freddy Quimby has it.
   Hutz: Thank you, Dr. Hibbert.  I rest my case.
  Judge: You rest your case?
   Hutz: What?  Oh no, I thought that was just a figure of speech.  Case
closed.
Lionel Hutz will win your lawsuit in 30 minutes or your pizza is free!

I miss Phil Hartman

#58 CygnusGal

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Posted 21 February 2013 - 07:09 PM

View PostStorm Shadow, on 21 February 2013 - 10:31 AM, said:


Paddling the school canoe...ooh, you better believe that's a paddlin’

:rfl:

#59 invisible airwave

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Posted 21 February 2013 - 07:32 PM

View PostCygnusGal, on 21 February 2013 - 07:06 PM, said:

View PostLost In Xanadu, on 20 February 2013 - 10:31 AM, said:

View PostCygnusGal, on 18 February 2013 - 10:28 AM, said:

Quote

Burns: I'll kill you, you bloated museum of treachery!

Made me think of this:
Lawyer: Your Honor, even though I've proven my client's innocence, I'd
still like to call Freddy Quimby to the stand.  So that we can
all bask in his gentle decency.
Mr. Quimby, did you assault Mr. LaCoste?
Freddy: Of course not.  I love each and every thing on God's green
earth.
Lawyer: Therefore, you would never lose your temper over something as
trivial as the pronunciation of "chowder".
Freddy: That's "chowdah"!  Chowdah!  I'll kill you!  I'll kill all of
you, especially those of you in the jury!
Lawyer: Wow, that didn't go well.  The defense rests.

View PostLost In Xanadu, on 20 February 2013 - 12:20 PM, said:

Hutz: Ladies and gentlemen, I'm going to prove to you not only that
Freddy Quimby is guilty, but that he is also innocent of not
being guilty.  I refer you to my expert witness, Dr. Hibbert.
Hibbert: Well, only one in two million people has what we call the "evil
gene". Hitler had it, Walt Disney had it, and Freddy Quimby has it.
   Hutz: Thank you, Dr. Hibbert.  I rest my case.
  Judge: You rest your case?
   Hutz: What?  Oh no, I thought that was just a figure of speech.  Case
closed.
Lionel Hutz will win your lawsuit in 30 minutes or your pizza is free!

I miss Phil Hartman

The Lionel Hutz you know no longer exists.  Say hello to Miguel Sanchez!

#60 CygnusGal

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Posted 21 February 2013 - 08:03 PM

:hi: Miguel! :rfl:

Mr. Simpson, don't you worry. I watched Matlock in a bar last night. The sound wasn't on, but I think I got the gist of it.




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