Jump to content

The Simpsons Thread


Lost In Xanadu
 Share

Recommended Posts

We need more 'Bort' license plates in the gift shop. I repeat: we are sold out of 'Bort' license plates.
Link to comment
Share on other sites

We need more 'Bort' license plates in the gift shop. I repeat: we are sold out of 'Bort' license plates.

Attention, Marge Simpson: your son has been arrested.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

We need more 'Bort' license plates in the gift shop. I repeat: we are sold out of 'Bort' license plates.

Attention, Marge Simpson: your son has been arrested.

I'd be terribly embarrassed if I were that boy's mother.

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

We need more 'Bort' license plates in the gift shop. I repeat: we are sold out of 'Bort' license plates.

Attention, Marge Simpson: your son has been arrested.

I'd be terribly embarrassed if I were that boy's mother.

Attention, Marge Simpson: we've also arrested your older, balder, fatter son.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

We need more 'Bort' license plates in the gift shop. I repeat: we are sold out of 'Bort' license plates.

Attention, Marge Simpson: your son has been arrested.

I'd be terribly embarrassed if I were that boy's mother.

Attention, Marge Simpson: we've also arrested your older, balder, fatter son.

Mmmmmmm...

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

We need more 'Bort' license plates in the gift shop. I repeat: we are sold out of 'Bort' license plates.

Attention, Marge Simpson: your son has been arrested.

I'd be terribly embarrassed if I were that boy's mother.

Attention, Marge Simpson: we've also arrested your older, balder, fatter son.

Mmmmmmm...

 

Oh, I'm so embarrassed I wish there was a hole I could just crawl into and die.

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

We need more 'Bort' license plates in the gift shop. I repeat: we are sold out of 'Bort' license plates.

Attention, Marge Simpson: your son has been arrested.

I'd be terribly embarrassed if I were that boy's mother.

Attention, Marge Simpson: we've also arrested your older, balder, fatter son.

Mmmmmmm...

 

Oh, I'm so embarrassed I wish there was a hole I could just crawl into and die.

OK, throw her in the hole.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

We need more 'Bort' license plates in the gift shop. I repeat: we are sold out of 'Bort' license plates.

Attention, Marge Simpson: your son has been arrested.

I'd be terribly embarrassed if I were that boy's mother.

Attention, Marge Simpson: we've also arrested your older, balder, fatter son.

Mmmmmmm...

 

Oh, I'm so embarrassed I wish there was a hole I could just crawl into and die.

OK, throw her in the hole.

Oh, please... it was just a figure of speech!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Homer: Okay, little buddy, hop in!

(Bart steps forward)

Homer: Ah bah! I mean my little girl buddy.

Lisa: That's very nice, Dad, but it's wrong for you to reward violent, competitive behavior. However, I will sit up front with you if it's a fatherly gesture of love.

Homer: Okay, hon.

(Lisa gets into the car)

Homer: Sucker! Competitive violence! That's why you're here

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Homer: Hey! Apu just called. This Friday, Lisa's team is playing

Bart's team. You're in direct competition. And don't go easy on

each other just because you're brother and sister. I want to see

you both fighting for your parents' love!

  • Like 2
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Homer: Hey! Apu just called. This Friday, Lisa's team is playing

Bart's team. You're in direct competition. And don't go easy on

each other just because you're brother and sister. I want to see

you both fighting for your parents' love!

 

Fight!Fight!Fight!Fight!Fight!Fight!Fight!Fight!...

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I meant to post this for Memorial Day. A little late.

 

----

 

Bart: I just think our veterans deserve a little recognition.

Lisa: That's what Veterans Day is for, Bart.

Bart: But is that really enough to honor our brave soldiers?

Lisa: They also have Memorial Day!

Bart: Oh, Lisa, maybe you're right, maybe you're wrong, the important thing is that veterans deserve a day to honor them!

Lisa: They have two!

Bart: Well, maybe they should have three. I'm Bart Simpson.

  • Like 2
Link to comment
Share on other sites

I meant to post this for Memorial Day. A little late.

 

----

 

Bart: I just think our veterans deserve a little recognition.

Lisa: That's what Veterans Day is for, Bart.

Bart: But is that really enough to honor our brave soldiers?

Lisa: They also have Memorial Day!

Bart: Oh, Lisa, maybe you're right, maybe you're wrong, the important thing is that veterans deserve a day to honor them!

Lisa: They have two!

Bart: Well, maybe they should have three. I'm Bart Simpson.

 

Joe Banks, 82 years young has come to this pond every day for the past 17 years, to feed the ducks. But last month, Joe made a discovery...the ducks...were gone! Some say the ducks went to Canada, others say Toronto. And some people think, that Joe used to sit down there, near those ducks. But it could be, that there is just no room in this modern world, for an old man...and his ducks.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

The old Union Pacific doesn't come by here much anymore.

 

http://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/crazy-cat-lady.jpg

I meant to post this for Memorial Day. A little late.

 

----

 

Bart: I just think our veterans deserve a little recognition.

Lisa: That's what Veterans Day is for, Bart.

Bart: But is that really enough to honor our brave soldiers?

Lisa: They also have Memorial Day!

Bart: Oh, Lisa, maybe you're right, maybe you're wrong, the important thing is that veterans deserve a day to honor them!

Lisa: They have two!

Bart: Well, maybe they should have three. I'm Bart Simpson.

 

Joe Banks, 82 years young has come to this pond every day for the past 17 years, to feed the ducks. But last month, Joe made a discovery...the ducks...were gone! Some say the ducks went to Canada, others say Toronto. And some people think, that Joe used to sit down there, near those ducks. But it could be, that there is just no room in this modern world, for an old man...and his ducks.

Of forgotten veterans. Their guns are quiet now. Their helmets lost, or pawned. And yet here they are, making flags out of old clothes. Sure, they may not have the right number of stripes. And the colors are all wrong. And some purists will tell you the American flag doesn't contain the word "Jordache". But you know, if they run this up the flagpole, I'll salute. I'm Bart Simpson.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Bart: Hm. Really makes you think.

Lisa: What does that even mean?! Mom might not see through you, but I do!

You don't care about any of these people.

Bart: Well, if I'm guilty of anything, maybe it's caring too much. I'm

Bart Simpson.

Lisa: Stop talking like that, stop it!!

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

The old Union Pacific doesn't come by here much anymore.

 

http://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/crazy-cat-lady.jpg

I meant to post this for Memorial Day. A little late.

 

----

 

Bart: I just think our veterans deserve a little recognition.

Lisa: That's what Veterans Day is for, Bart.

Bart: But is that really enough to honor our brave soldiers?

Lisa: They also have Memorial Day!

Bart: Oh, Lisa, maybe you're right, maybe you're wrong, the important thing is that veterans deserve a day to honor them!

Lisa: They have two!

Bart: Well, maybe they should have three. I'm Bart Simpson.

 

Joe Banks, 82 years young has come to this pond every day for the past 17 years, to feed the ducks. But last month, Joe made a discovery...the ducks...were gone! Some say the ducks went to Canada, others say Toronto. And some people think, that Joe used to sit down there, near those ducks. But it could be, that there is just no room in this modern world, for an old man...and his ducks.

Of forgotten veterans. Their guns are quiet now. Their helmets lost, or pawned. And yet here they are, making flags out of old clothes. Sure, they may not have the right number of stripes. And the colors are all wrong. And some purists will tell you the American flag doesn't contain the word "Jordache". But you know, if they run this up the flagpole, I'll salute. I'm Bart Simpson.

Bart: Hm. Really makes you think.

Lisa: What does that even mean?! Mom might not see through you, but I do!

You don't care about any of these people.

Bart: Well, if I'm guilty of anything, maybe it's caring too much. I'm

Bart Simpson.

Lisa: Stop talking like that, stop it!!

Krusty: (laughs) Man, you think the quality would dip after fifty-five hundred shows! But... (laughs)

Lady: Well, the FCC isn't laughing. They don't believe kids are learning anything from "Itchy and Scratchy".

Krusty: Oh, please! What don't they learn? Don't trust mice, cats are made of glass...

Lady: Our renewal license is on the bubble. We need educational programming, fast!

Krusty: What about that Mattel and Mars Bar Quick-Energy Choc-O-Bot Hour?

Lady: That's barely legal as it is. Here's what I was thinking: a newscast for kids. By kids.

Krusty: Well, you're not taking any time out of my show. It's jammed up as it is. There's a monologue, those idiot puppets, Krusty's nap time, the second monologue, Paul Harvey, Senor Papino... I tell ya, it's the tightest three hours and ten minutes on TV.

Lady: We're cutting ten minutes from your show.

Krusty: Well, I guess we can trim the Hobo Parade to a lean twenty.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Krusty's Accountant: Let me get this straight. You took all the money you made franchising your name and bet it *against* the Harlem Globetrotters?

Krusty the Clown: [miserable] Oh, I thought the Generals were due!

[watches the game on TV]

Krusty the Clown: He's spinning the ball on his finger! Just take it! Take it!

[the Globetrotters score]

Krusty the Clown: That game was fixed! They were using a freakin' ladder, for God's sake!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Good morning, sir! To make up for my failure last night, I alphabetized your breakfast; you can start with the waffles and work your way up to the zwieback. And, to prevent newsprint from rubbing off on your hands, I've laminated today's newspaper.
  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Burns: Here, tell me how my stocks did yesterday.

Homer: Uh... they all won.

Burns: What about my options?

Homer: Well, you can either get up or go back to sleep.

Burns: I believe I'll get up.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
 Share

  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    • No registered users viewing this page.
×
×
  • Create New...