Gold Rush Alaska

[theredtamasrule]

This "reality" show about a gang of dumbasses hunting for gold in Alaska is oddly compelling. I know it's scripted but...

 

The Hoffmans are just plain morons, why those poor bastards agreed to go back this season is beyond me.

 

Dakota Fred is a douchebag.

 

Parker Schnabel is kinda cool for a 16 year old punk.

[Presto-a RUSH fan!]

QUOTE (theredtamasrule @ Nov 11 2011, 09:42 PM)

This "reality" show about a gang of dumbasses hunting for gold in Alaska is oddly compelling. I know it's scripted but... The Hoffmans are just plain morons, why those poor bastards agreed to go back this season is beyond me. Dakota Fred is a douchebag. Parker Schnabel is kinda cool for a 16 year old punk.

I totally agree. It's like you want to root for the Hoffmans but you can't because they are just plain dumb. As far as it being scripted, I don't think it's as much as other "reality" shows are.

 

I've never gold mined, but I think I could do a better job than those knuckleheads.

 

I love that the 16yr old is already scored half as much gold in one week as the Hoffmans did all last year!

[Khan]

Well....that's reality TV for ya.

[Presto-a RUSH fan!]

QUOTE (Khan @ Nov 15 2011, 04:34 PM)

Well....that's reality TV for ya.

Only stupid people watch reality tv.

[yaoi_myantidrug]

I'm guessing most of the viewers saw it on The Soup

[theredtamasrule]

QUOTE (yaoi_myantidrug @ Nov 15 2011, 06:31 PM)

I'm guessing most of the viewers saw it on The Soup

It has pretty high ratings and from what I can gather the show follows a script pretty tightly and is highly produced. The events really happen but they're shot for dramatic effect which is painfully obvious because these yayhoos couldn't act their way out of a wet paper bag. The bearded dude that left the show last year has a blog detailing the behind the scenes action with the Hoffmans believing that the show was the real gold mine.

 

What kills me is that they keep repeating that they have to find gold this year or it's over...ad nauseum. It's all they say. Meanwhile Old Cranky Hoffman just hops on the equipment and plays around with hardly a plan while the other tools look in the camera and tell us how broke they are and how they're going to go bankrupt if they don't find gold. Guy with the serious mustache was 1 house payment from being homeless last season but hey, what the hell! I'll risk the family home again.

 

Yet I still watch.

[Presto-a RUSH fan!]

QUOTE (theredtamasrule @ Nov 15 2011, 07:15 PM)

QUOTE (yaoi_myantidrug @ Nov 15 2011, 06:31 PM) I'm guessing most of the viewers saw it on The Soup It has pretty high ratings and from what I can gather the show follows a script pretty tightly and is highly produced. The events really happen but they're shot for dramatic effect which is painfully obvious because these yayhoos couldn't act their way out of a wet paper bag. The bearded dude that left the show last year has a blog detailing the behind the scenes action with the Hoffmans believing that the show was the real gold mine.   What kills me is that they keep repeating that they have to find gold this year or it's over...ad nauseum. It's all they say. Meanwhile Old Cranky Hoffman just hops on the equipment and plays around with hardly a plan while the other tools look in the camera and tell us how broke they are and how they're going to go bankrupt if they don't find gold. Guy with the serious mustache was 1 house payment from being homeless last season but hey, what the hell! I'll risk the family home again.   Yet I still watch. LOL...I agree with every word, although I didn't know about the scripting being so....well...scripted. But I totally agree with everything you said.   And like you, I still watch!

[USB Connector]

QUOTE (Khan @ Nov 15 2011, 05:34 PM)

Well....that's reality TV for ya.

How I met your mother is more realistic than reality TV.

[Jack Aubrey]

QUOTE (Presto_a RUSH fan_06-08-90 @ Nov 15 2011, 07:19 PM)

QUOTE (theredtamasrule @ Nov 15 2011, 07:15 PM) QUOTE (yaoi_myantidrug @ Nov 15 2011, 06:31 PM) I'm guessing most of the viewers saw it on The Soup It has pretty high ratings and from what I can gather the show follows a script pretty tightly and is highly produced. The events really happen but they're shot for dramatic effect which is painfully obvious because these yayhoos couldn't act their way out of a wet paper bag. The bearded dude that left the show last year has a blog detailing the behind the scenes action with the Hoffmans believing that the show was the real gold mine.   What kills me is that they keep repeating that they have to find gold this year or it's over...ad nauseum. It's all they say. Meanwhile Old Cranky Hoffman just hops on the equipment and plays around with hardly a plan while the other tools look in the camera and tell us how broke they are and how they're going to go bankrupt if they don't find gold. Guy with the serious mustache was 1 house payment from being homeless last season but hey, what the hell! I'll risk the family home again.   Yet I still watch. LOL...I agree with every word, although I didn't know about the scripting being so....well...scripted. But I totally agree with everything you said.   And like you, I still watch! Same here. Deep down, we're all pulling for these guys to strike it rich because we share their dream. Mr. Hoffman's words last week about getting outh there and doing whatever it takes to follow your dream really struck a chord with me as I've had my own business for a year now and just four months ago I was starting to have real doubts and only now is it beginning to really take off. All it takes is grit and determination and knocking down any obstacles and just plain finding a way and anyone can do it. You're gonna get knocked down, but you just have to jump back up and keep forging ahead anyway.

[GhostGirl]

My only knowledge of this show is from The Soup...all that talk of digging in the glory hole...

 

[theredtamasrule]

QUOTE (GhostGirl @ Nov 16 2011, 04:33 PM)

My only knowledge of this show is from The Soup...all that talk of digging in the glory hole...

[Jack Aubrey]

QUOTE (GhostGirl @ Nov 16 2011, 04:33 PM)

My only knowledge of this show is from The Soup...all that talk of digging in the glory hole...

My wife cringes every time they use that term.

[Presto-a RUSH fan!]

QUOTE (Jack Aubrey @ Nov 16 2011, 07:29 PM)

QUOTE (GhostGirl @ Nov 16 2011, 04:33 PM) My only knowledge of this show is from The Soup...all that talk of digging in the glory hole... My wife cringes every time they use that term. Funny thing about that "glory hole" that was what screwed them last season. Well that and the fact that it looked like they never worked. But searching for a 5 foot "glory Hole" when all the dirt about 5 feet down has gold isn's smart. Watch, Dakota Fred will find a ton of gold with his new plan.

[theredtamasrule]

QUOTE (Presto_a RUSH fan_06-08-90 @ Nov 16 2011, 10:33 PM)

QUOTE (Jack Aubrey @ Nov 16 2011, 07:29 PM) QUOTE (GhostGirl @ Nov 16 2011, 04:33 PM) My only knowledge of this show is from The Soup...all that talk of digging in the glory hole... My wife cringes every time they use that term. Funny thing about that "glory hole" that was what screwed them last season. Well that and the fact that it looked like they never worked. But searching for a 5 foot "glory Hole" when all the dirt about 5 feet down has gold isn's smart. Watch, Dakota Fred will find a ton of gold with his new plan. Schnabel is going to make all of them his bitchez. That boy makes it rain all up in Porcupine Creek!

[Lost In Xanadu]

QUOTE (theredtamasrule @ Nov 16 2011, 04:52 PM)

QUOTE (GhostGirl @ Nov 16 2011, 04:33 PM) My only knowledge of this show is from The Soup...all that talk of digging in the glory hole...   I love The Soup - I also like how he purposefully pronounces "Jack Hoffman" as "jack off man"   Especially awesome when he says things like "jack off man in search of the glory hole"

[theredtamasrule]

Todd Hoffman is a fat, stupid, lazy, waste of hemoglobin: "my gut tells me gold is right here"...meanwhile the claim owner's dad shows up and basically tells him he's a douchebag that wasted a week clearing previously dredged land. Idiot.

 

If I was that guy running the dozer I would have shot Todd in the spine, dragged him while alive and awake and ran him through a rock crusher. That guy is the owner/v.p. of a successful paving company and he's stroking the pony with those bozos in the Yukon. Guess he's an idiot too.

 

1. Take core samples

2. Plan mining strategy based on samples

3. Line up appropriate financing & equipment

4. Hire crew

5. Follow plan

 

Seems simple enough.

[nappy2112]

QUOTE (theredtamasrule @ Nov 18 2011, 10:14 PM)

Todd Hoffman is a fat, stupid, lazy, waste of hemoglobin: "my gut tells me gold is right here"...meanwhile the claim owner's dad shows up and basically tells him he's a douchebag that wasted a week clearing previously dredged land. Idiot. If I was that guy running the dozer I would have shot Todd in the spine, dragged him while alive and awake and ran him through a rock crusher. That guy is the owner/v.p. of a successful paving company and he's stroking the pony with those bozos in the Yukon. Guess he's an idiot too. 1. Take core samples 2. Plan mining strategy based on samples 3. Line up appropriate financing & equipment 4. Hire crew 5. Follow plan Seems simple enough.

 

Yeah , they might as well sent me to Alaska.

[Presto-a RUSH fan!]

QUOTE (theredtamasrule @ Nov 18 2011, 10:14 PM)

Todd Hoffman is a fat, stupid, lazy, waste of hemoglobin: "my gut tells me gold is right here"...meanwhile the claim owner's dad shows up and basically tells him he's a douchebag that wasted a week clearing previously dredged land. Idiot. If I was that guy running the dozer I would have shot Todd in the spine, dragged him while alive and awake and ran him through a rock crusher. That guy is the owner/v.p. of a successful paving company and he's stroking the pony with those bozos in the Yukon. Guess he's an idiot too. 1. Take core samples 2. Plan mining strategy based on samples 3. Line up appropriate financing & equipment 4. Hire crew 5. Follow plan Seems simple enough.

That would make the show unwatchable if they actually did it correctly!

 

Last year was "Glory Hole."

 

This year is "Virgin Ground."

 

What's next year, "Golden Shower?"

 

Sorry in advance.

 

 

 

Edited to add this:

 

***Spoiler if anyone cares***

 

 

Remember, the reason they moved from the "Glory Hole" and had to scramble up to "Virgin Ground" and follow Todd Hoffman's gut was because he didn't pay the lease on time and Dakota Fred then had the legal right to evict him. So hence, he is on the "Virgin Ground" with no samples.

Edited November 22, 2011 by Presto_a RUSH fan_06-08-90

[theredtamasrule]

QUOTE (Presto_a RUSH fan_06-08-90 @ Nov 22 2011, 06:20 AM)

QUOTE (theredtamasrule @ Nov 18 2011, 10:14 PM) Todd Hoffman is a fat, stupid, lazy, waste of hemoglobin: "my gut tells me gold is right here"...meanwhile the claim owner's dad shows up and basically tells him he's a douchebag that wasted a week clearing previously dredged land. Idiot. If I was that guy running the dozer I would have shot Todd in the spine, dragged him while alive and awake and ran him through a rock crusher. That guy is the owner/v.p. of a successful paving company and he's stroking the pony with those bozos in the Yukon. Guess he's an idiot too. 1. Take core samples 2. Plan mining strategy based on samples 3. Line up appropriate financing & equipment 4. Hire crew 5. Follow plan Seems simple enough. That would make the show unwatchable if they actually did it correctly!   Last year was "Glory Hole."   This year is "Virgin Ground."   What's next year, "Golden Shower?"   Sorry in advance.       Edited to add this:   ***Spoiler if anyone cares***     Remember, the reason they moved from the "Glory Hole" and had to scramble up to "Virgin Ground" and follow Todd Hoffman's gut was because he didn't pay the lease on time and Dakota Fred then had the legal right to evict him. So hence, he is on the "Virgin Ground" with no samples. It might actually be more entertaining if Jack Hoffman (...Jack Hoff-man...seriously? Why not Peter Burns or Dick Fister) and the crew gave Todd a big ol' group golden shower.

[Presto-a RUSH fan!]

QUOTE (theredtamasrule @ Nov 22 2011, 09:47 AM)

QUOTE (Presto_a RUSH fan_06-08-90 @ Nov 22 2011, 06:20 AM) QUOTE (theredtamasrule @ Nov 18 2011, 10:14 PM) Todd Hoffman is a fat, stupid, lazy, waste of hemoglobin: "my gut tells me gold is right here"...meanwhile the claim owner's dad shows up and basically tells him he's a douchebag that wasted a week clearing previously dredged land. Idiot. If I was that guy running the dozer I would have shot Todd in the spine, dragged him while alive and awake and ran him through a rock crusher. That guy is the owner/v.p. of a successful paving company and he's stroking the pony with those bozos in the Yukon. Guess he's an idiot too. 1. Take core samples 2. Plan mining strategy based on samples 3. Line up appropriate financing & equipment 4. Hire crew 5. Follow plan Seems simple enough. That would make the show unwatchable if they actually did it correctly!   Last year was "Glory Hole."   This year is "Virgin Ground."   What's next year, "Golden Shower?"   Sorry in advance.       Edited to add this:   ***Spoiler if anyone cares***     Remember, the reason they moved from the "Glory Hole" and had to scramble up to "Virgin Ground" and follow Todd Hoffman's gut was because he didn't pay the lease on time and Dakota Fred then had the legal right to evict him. So hence, he is on the "Virgin Ground" with no samples. It might actually be more entertaining if Jack Hoffman (...Jack Hoff-man...seriously? Why not Peter Burns or Dick Fister) and the crew gave Todd a big ol' group golden shower.

[Presto-a RUSH fan!]

Ok...so I decide I am going to go gold mining. I look into all the equipment needed and then go just dig holes willy nilly looking for "glory holes"?

 

Last year, I guess I can understand them not drilling because they were told the claim had gold, but even then, going with that old geezer Jack Hoffman's idea to dig for a legendary glory hole that he has no idea if it's there or not?

 

I didn't really think this was scripted. I really still don't, I mean as far as like a Kardashian or houswive show. If you ever saw Ax Men I figured it was that but with gold mining. But now I am starting to think Discovery went out and found some of the dumbest people around and asked them to go look for gold.

 

I mean, I know nothing about gold mining, but wouldn't you think that the first thing you would do is drill and make sure there is gold and where exactly that gold is?

 

theredtamasrule above already pretty much laid out what they needed to do. Even a fifth grader would probably figure that out. These guys are idiots, well the Hoffman's. At least the other guys are wising up.

 

 

 

***SPOILER***

 

 

 

Watching the Jack Hoffman say "every time I see that drill go another foot I think cha-ching" (as in costing him money, instead of saving him money in the long run) Well what about his just digging a big hole because he feels it in his gut? I mean like I have said, last year you root for these guys, this year your like, they don't deserve it.

 

Then Dakota Fred, stealing the claim from under them, well set up by Todd not paying for the lease, seemed like a dirty move. Well now his house is flooded. Looks like what goes around comes around. But I still kinda hope Dakota Fred finds the gold now that he is homeless.

[theredtamasrule]

QUOTE (Presto_a RUSH fan_06-08-90 @ Nov 26 2011, 01:44 AM)

Watching the Jack Hoffman say "every time I see that drill go another foot I think cha-ching"

Yeah, exactly! What a dumbfuck!

 

In case you didn't catch it: this is their last shot, make or break, gold or go home...

[Presto-a RUSH fan!]

QUOTE (theredtamasrule @ Nov 26 2011, 08:56 AM)

QUOTE (Presto_a RUSH fan_06-08-90 @ Nov 26 2011, 01:44 AM) Watching the Jack Hoffman say "every time I see that drill go another foot I think cha-ching" Yeah, exactly! What a dumbfuck!   In case you didn't catch it: this is their last shot, make or break, gold or go home...     Damn man...use spoilers. That kinda info ruins the show!   Yeah, this is it, I bet, soon they will be just pulling over on the side of Alaskan highways and digging dirt for gold! Their last chance!!!

[theredtamasrule]

QUOTE (Presto_a RUSH fan_06-08-90 @ Nov 26 2011, 05:40 PM)

QUOTE (theredtamasrule @ Nov 26 2011, 08:56 AM) QUOTE (Presto_a RUSH fan_06-08-90 @ Nov 26 2011, 01:44 AM) Watching the Jack Hoffman say "every time I see that drill go another foot I think cha-ching" Yeah, exactly! What a dumbfuck!   In case you didn't catch it: this is their last shot, make or break, gold or go home...     Damn man...use spoilers. That kinda info ruins the show!   Yeah, this is it, I bet, soon they will be just pulling over on the side of Alaskan highways and digging dirt for gold! Their last chance!!! http://img.poptower.com/pic-34483/todd-hoffman-gold-rush-alaska.jpg   But guys! My enormous GUT is telling me that there is gold in this ditch next to the interstate! This is it...make or break....gold or bust! Who's with me?

[theredtamasrule]

http://bbac02.files.wordpress.com/2011/01/jim-thurber-gold-rush-alaska.jpg

 

Well...I know my house is 1 payment from foreclosure and Little Timmy needs leg replacement surgery and my wife is now a lesbian but...SURE! I'm in! This time I KNOW we'll find gold.

 

We have to...it's make or break!