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Favourite Family Guy Quotes/Passages


TheRocinanteKid
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Herbert (pervy old man): Hey, muscly arm, why the long face?

 

Chris (fat kid): It's this girl. I can't talk to her. It's like girls are a different species or something.

 

Herbert: Who needs them? You like Popsicles?

 

Chris: Well, sure.

 

Herbert: Then you need to come on down to the cellar. I got a whole freezer full of Popsicles.

 

Chris: No, thanks. I gotta get going.

 

Herbert: Don't make me beg, now.

 

Chris: You're funny. Bye.

 

Herbert: Get your fat ass back here.

 

Ahhhhh...I love it.

 

"CALL ME!!!!"

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Peter: Lois, I tried finding my creative talent just like you said. First I tried art... "Am I supposed to paint the penis?"

Then I tried sculpting..."Am I supposed to sculpt the penis?"

Then I tried music..."Am...am I supposed to conduct with my penis?"

 

My favorite though is probably Peter's whole flashback of what happened at Cheesy Charlie's. laugh.gif

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QUOTE (Storm Shadow @ Mar 26 2008, 01:10 PM)
Peter: Lois, I tried finding my creative talent just like you said. First I tried art... "Am I supposed to paint the penis?"
Then I tried sculpting..."Am I supposed to sculpt the penis?"
Then I tried music..."Am...am I supposed to conduct with my penis?"

My favorite though is probably Peter's whole flashback of what happened at Cheesy Charlie's. laugh.gif

That's classic! The I (heart) Lous t-shirt cracks me up. laugh.gif

 

 

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Saw the episode yesterday where Peter is declared retarded.. hilarious! laugh.gif Peter and Brian are watching an episode of Jake and the Fat Man- it had me in tears icon_really_happy_guy.gif then i rewound it and it had me in tears again!! z7shysterical.gif Looked for a utube clip but sadly none.
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QUOTE (Lerxster @ Mar 27 2008, 10:58 AM)
Saw the episode yesterday where Peter is declared retarded.. hilarious!  laugh.gif

"Hello Mrs. Griffin, it's your neighbour Quagmire. Now that Peter's mental, you probably have some needs, OH!" rofl3.gif

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"Hello 911? It's Quagmire. Yeah. Yeah, it's caught in a window this time"

 

Peter (as a child): "Why did all the dinosaurs die out?"

Man at Museum: "Because you touch yourself at night."

 

Lois: "Oh, I haven't been on a college campus in years. Everything seems so different."

Stewie: "Really? Perhaps if you laid on your back with your ankles behind your ears that would ring a few bells."

 

 

 

rofl3.gif rofl3.gif rofl3.gif

 

comic brilliance

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Peter Griffin: [dressed up like female prostitute] Looking for a good time, sweet cheeks?

Lois Griffin: Oh, my God! Peter, get in the car!

Peter Griffin: But it will cost you. What do you want? A Cleveland Steamer?

Lois Griffin: I said get in the car! What's a Cleveland Steamer?

Brian Griffin: It means that he'll...

[gets interrupted]

Peter Griffin: Be cool.

 

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Peter: Hey hey I got an idea. Lets play "I Never." You got to drink if you did the thing that the person says they never did.

Cleveland: Oh I got one, I never slept with a women with the lights on.

(They all drink.)

Joe: I'll go next, uh I never had sex with Cleveland's wife.

(Quagmire and Cleveland drink.)

Peter: alright lets see uh, I never did a chick in a Logan airport bathroom.

(Only Quagmire drinks.)

****About 33 drinks later****

Peter: God lets see what else is there um...I never gave a reach-around to a spider monkey while reciting the Pledge of Alligence.

Quagmire: Oh God. (Quagmire takes a drink.)

Joe: I uh I never picked up an illegal alien at Home Depot to take home and choke me while I touch myself.

Quagmire: Oh come on! (Quagmire drinks again.)

Peter: I never did the same thing except with someone from Joann Fabrics.

Quagmire: Oh God this is ridiculous. You guys suck! (Drinks more and passes out.)

Edited by rushbass
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Stewie (to one of the prostitutes at Cleveland's house): So, is there any tread left on the tires? Or at this point would it be like throwing a hot dog down a hallway?

 

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Guy on Airplane: Oh great, I always end up sitting next to a damn baby.

Stewie: What did you just say?

Lois: Stewie, stop fussing.

Stewie: Pipe down Lois. (Slaps guy on head.) Hey big man, turn around. Oh you can't hear me now. I was going to watch the movie, but forget it. For the next 5 hours, you're my bitch.

 

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Brian gets whacked in the face with a military rifle at boot camp

 

Stewie: Boy! That's gotta hurt more than a birthday telegram from Zinedine Zidane!

 

cutaway to Zidane ringing an old lady's doorbell, holding a birthday cake. She opens the door and Zidane viciously headbutts her, and drops the cake on her face.

 

Zidane: Bon anniversaire. rofl3.gif

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QUOTE (TheRocinanteKid @ Mar 25 2008, 07:16 PM)
Nobody else? I mean c'mon! Comedy gold!

Porn movie producer: It's kinda like Bang The Drum Slowly except the drum's a chick.

z7shysterical.gif z7shysterical.gif z7shysterical.gif z7shysterical.gif z7shysterical.gif z7shysterical.gif z7shysterical.gif z7shysterical.gif

 

I LOVE that one!

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QUOTE (Magnus @ Mar 30 2008, 08:21 PM)
Brian gets whacked in the face with a military rifle at boot camp

Stewie: Boy! That's gotta hurt more than a birthday telegram from Zinedine Zidane!

cutaway to Zidane ringing an old lady's doorbell, holding a birthday cake. She opens the door and Zidane viciously headbutts her, and drops the cake on her face.

Zidane: Bon anniversaire. rofl3.gif

laugh.gif laugh.gif laugh.gif laugh.gif laugh.gif

 

Forgot all about this, brilliant!

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QUOTE (TheRocinanteKid @ Mar 30 2008, 03:57 PM)
QUOTE (Magnus @ Mar 30 2008, 08:21 PM)
Brian gets whacked in the face with a military rifle at boot camp

Stewie: Boy! That's gotta hurt more than a birthday telegram from Zinedine Zidane!

cutaway to Zidane ringing an old lady's doorbell, holding a birthday cake. She opens the door and Zidane viciously headbutts her, and drops the cake on her face.

Zidane: Bon anniversaire.  rofl3.gif

laugh.gif laugh.gif laugh.gif laugh.gif laugh.gif

 

Forgot all about this, brilliant!

z7shysterical.gif z7shysterical.gif z7shysterical.gif z7shysterical.gif z7shysterical.gif z7shysterical.gif z7shysterical.gif

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