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The Joke Thread (The Good, The Bad & The Ugly)


The Notorious B.S.G.
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QUOTE (Can-Utility @ Oct 13 2011, 10:41 PM)
He didn't tell it right, either.

I'm sorry that Nate trying to tell a joke offended you. However, this is a distinctly joke-oriented thread. I'm not sure the sarcasm and criticism was necessary. And if you think I'm overreacting, I'm not. smile.gif

 

For the record, Nate, I found your joke very funny. smile.gif

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QUOTE (Tommy Sawyer @ Oct 13 2011, 08:57 PM)
QUOTE (Can-Utility @ Oct 13 2011, 10:41 PM)
He didn't tell it right, either.

I'm sorry that Nate trying to tell a joke offended you. However, this is a distinctly joke-oriented thread. I'm not sure the sarcasm and criticism was necessary. And if you think I'm overreacting, I'm not. smile.gif

 

For the record, Nate, I found your joke very funny. smile.gif

It didn't offend me, but if you're going to tell a joke tell it right.

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QUOTE (An Enemy Without @ Oct 13 2011, 05:10 PM)
QUOTE (Can-Utility @ Oct 13 2011, 06:38 PM)
QUOTE (Nate2112 @ Oct 13 2011, 01:09 PM)
You know when people say your life flashes before your eyes whaen you die?

When Steve Jobs died, his eyes didnt

Apple doesnt support flash

butchered an already terrible joke, congrats.

It was just in really bad taste.

aye

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QUOTE (Tommy Sawyer @ Oct 13 2011, 10:57 PM)
QUOTE (Can-Utility @ Oct 13 2011, 10:41 PM)
He didn't tell it right, either.

I'm sorry that Nate trying to tell a joke offended you. However, this is a distinctly joke-oriented thread. I'm not sure the sarcasm and criticism was necessary. And if you think I'm overreacting, I'm not. smile.gif

 

For the record, Nate, I found your joke very funny. smile.gif

Except it wasn't funny, just poor taste. The guy died what, a week ago? You have to wait much longer than that. And everyone knows jokes are all about timing.

Edited by An Enemy Without
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QUOTE (An Enemy Without @ Oct 14 2011, 08:20 AM)
QUOTE (Tommy Sawyer @ Oct 13 2011, 10:57 PM)
QUOTE (Can-Utility @ Oct 13 2011, 10:41 PM)
He didn't tell it right, either.

I'm sorry that Nate trying to tell a joke offended you. However, this is a distinctly joke-oriented thread. I'm not sure the sarcasm and criticism was necessary. And if you think I'm overreacting, I'm not. smile.gif

 

For the record, Nate, I found your joke very funny. smile.gif

Except it wasn't funny, just poor taste. The guy died what, a week ago? You have to wait much longer than that. And everyone knows jokes are all about timing.

Well I did apologize for my comment.

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QUOTE (TullSkull @ Sep 20 2011, 06:24 AM)
QUOTE (An Enemy Without @ Sep 18 2011, 02:58 PM)
Confucius say: man who go to sleep with itchy butt wake up with smelly finger.

Confucius also say: man who stand on toilet is high on pot.... joker.gif cool10.gif

wife who cooks carrots and pees in same pot unsanitary tongue.gif

 

and man who argue with wife all day get no piece at night dazed025.gif

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QUOTE (Rolinda Bonz @ Oct 16 2011, 01:27 AM)
QUOTE (TullSkull @ Sep 20 2011, 06:24 AM)
QUOTE (An Enemy Without @ Sep 18 2011, 02:58 PM)
Confucius say: man who go to sleep with itchy butt wake up with smelly finger.

Confucius also say: man who stand on toilet is high on pot.... joker.gif cool10.gif

wife who cooks carrots and pees in same pot unsanitary tongue.gif

 

and man who argue with wife all day get no piece at night dazed025.gif

It is good for girl to meet boy in park, but better for boy to park meat in girl. yes.gif

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QUOTE (An Enemy Without @ Oct 16 2011, 04:29 PM)
QUOTE (Rolinda Bonz @ Oct 16 2011, 01:27 AM)
QUOTE (TullSkull @ Sep 20 2011, 06:24 AM)
QUOTE (An Enemy Without @ Sep 18 2011, 02:58 PM)
Confucius say: man who go to sleep with itchy butt wake up with smelly finger.

Confucius also say: man who stand on toilet is high on pot.... joker.gif cool10.gif

wife who cooks carrots and pees in same pot unsanitary tongue.gif

 

and man who argue with wife all day get no piece at night dazed025.gif

It is good for girl to meet boy in park, but better for boy to park meat in girl. yes.gif

rofl3.gif joker.gif z7shysterical.gif

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An engineer was crossing a road one day, when a frog called out to him and said, "If you kiss me, I'll turn into a beautiful princess."

 

He bent over, picked up the frog, and put it in his pocket.

 

The frog spoke up again and said, "If you kiss me, I'll turn back into a beautiful princess and stay with you for one week."

 

The engineer took the frog out of his pocket, smiled at it

and returned it to the pocket.

 

The frog then cried out, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a princess, I'll stay with you for one week and do anything you want."

 

Again, the engineer took the frog out, smiled at it

and put it back into his pocket.

 

Finally, the frog asked, "What is the matter? I've told you I'm a beautiful princess and that I'll stay with you for one week and do anything you want. Why won't you kiss me?"

 

The engineer said, "Look, I'm a busy engineer.

I don't have time for a girlfriend. But a talking frog, now that's cool!"

Edited by Gompers
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Three engineering students were gathered together discussing who must have designed the human body. One said, "It was a mechanical engineer.

Just look at all the joints."

 

Another said, "No, it was an electrical engineer.

The nervous system has many thousands of electrical connections."

 

The last one said, "No, actually it had to have been a civil engineer.

Who else would run a toxic waste pipeline adjacent to a recreational area?"

 

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Two engineering students were biking across a university campus when one said, "Where did you get such a great bike?"

 

The second engineer replied, "Well, I was walking along yesterday, minding my own business, when a beautiful woman rode up on this bike, threw it to the ground, took off all her clothes and said,

"Take what you want."

 

The first engineer nodded approvingly and said,

"Good choice, The clothes probably wouldn't have fit you anyway."

 

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A father called his 3 girls over to tell them how they got their names.

 

He points to his first daughter and says:

"You are named Daisy because when you were born, a daisy fell on your head"

He points to his second daughter and says:

"You are named Rose because when you were born, a rose fell on your..."

Before he can finish, he is interrupted by his 3rd daughter:

"Bleeeeg Shraaap Boooooor mmmaaaaaaaahhh"

 

they all yell: "BE QUIET CINDERBLOCK!"

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THE BLONDE MORTICIAN

 

A man who'd just died is delivered to a local mortuary wearing an expensive, expertly tailored black suit.

 

The female blonde mortician asks the deceased's wife how she would like the body dressed. She points out that the man does look good in the black suit he is already wearing.

 

The widow, however, says that she always thought her husband looked his best in blue, and that she wants him in a blue suit. She gives the Blonde mortician a blank check and says, 'I don't care what it costs, but please have my husband in a blue suit for the viewing.'

 

The woman returns the next day for the wake. To her delight, she finds her husband dressed in a gorgeous blue suit with a subtle chalk stripe; the suit fits him perfectly...

 

She says to the mortician, 'Whatever this cost, I'm very satisfied.. You did an excellent job and I'm very grateful. How much did you spend?'

 

To her astonishment, the blonde mortician presents her with the blank check.

 

'There's no charge,' she says.

 

'No, really, I must compensate you for the cost of that exquisite blue suit!' she says.

 

'Honestly, ma'am,' the blonde says, 'it cost nothing.. You see, a deceased gentleman of about your husband's size was brought in shortly after you left yesterday, and he was wearing an attractive blue suit. I asked his wife if she minded him going to his grave wearing a black suit instead, and she said it made no difference as long as he looked nice.'

 

 

 

 

'So I just switched the heads.'

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