Alsgalpal Posted January 15, 2005 Share Posted January 15, 2005 QUOTE (Slaine mac Roth @ Jan 14 2005, 02:54 PM) Here are a few pearls of wisdom from my sister: 'I have alcoholic constipation - I can't pass a pub.' 'I have a drink problem - the pub shuts at 12, my mouth stays open to three.' 'I have a drink problem - I have two hands and one mouth.' 'Why is lager like making love in a punt - they're both f******g near water.' and finally, there is the classic conversation between Winston Churchill and Nancy Astor. ASTOR: 'Winston, you're drunk.' CHURCHILL: 'And you're ugly but tomorrow I'll be sober.' Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Steel Rat Posted January 15, 2005 Share Posted January 15, 2005 QUOTE (Alsgalpal @ Jan 15 2005, 09:05 AM) QUOTE (Slaine mac Roth @ Jan 14 2005, 02:54 PM) Here are a few pearls of wisdom from my sister: 'I have alcoholic constipation - I can't pass a pub.' 'I have a drink problem - the pub shuts at 12, my mouth stays open to three.' 'I have a drink problem - I have two hands and one mouth.' 'Why is lager like making love in a punt - they're both f******g near water.' and finally, there is the classic conversation between Winston Churchill and Nancy Astor. ASTOR: 'Winston, you're drunk.' CHURCHILL: 'And you're ugly but tomorrow I'll be sober.' I love Whinston Churchhill! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Slaine mac Roth Posted January 16, 2005 Share Posted January 16, 2005 The man certainly had a way with words - especially when talking to nancy Astor. The other particulalrly memorable one was: ASTOR: If you were my husband, I'd put poison in your coffee. CHURCHILL: If you were my wife, I'd drink it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
yyz Posted January 16, 2005 Share Posted January 16, 2005 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
furie Posted January 16, 2005 Share Posted January 16, 2005 Q: Why is Coors light like having sex in a canoe? A: Because it's f*cking close to water. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Drumnut Posted January 16, 2005 Share Posted January 16, 2005 QUOTE (Slaine mac Roth @ Jan 16 2005, 09:02 AM) The man certainly had a way with words - especially when talking to nancy Astor. The other particulalrly memorable one was: ASTOR: If you were my husband, I'd put poison in your coffee. CHURCHILL: If you were my wife, I'd drink it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
xanadu66 Posted January 16, 2005 Share Posted January 16, 2005 Here are a couple "Anonymous" quotes I came across and thought were kinda funny... To some its a six-pack, to me its a Support Group. BEER. Helping ugly people have sex since 1862! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cygnus Posted January 18, 2005 Author Share Posted January 18, 2005 QUOTE (xanadu66 @ Jan 16 2005, 06:39 PM) To some its a six-pack, to me its a Support Group. Me in College Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NeilPeartFan2112 Posted January 18, 2005 Share Posted January 18, 2005 QUOTE (Cygnus @ Jan 18 2005, 11:39 AM) QUOTE (xanadu66 @ Jan 16 2005, 06:39 PM) To some its a six-pack, to me its a Support Group. Me in College Perhaps that will be me in a few years. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alsgalpal Posted January 18, 2005 Share Posted January 18, 2005 (edited) I saw a great sticker at McMennamins yesterday. Help, I've tripped and I can't get down!!!! Edited because I got badtypingitis. Edited January 18, 2005 by Alsgalpal Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cygnus Posted January 29, 2005 Author Share Posted January 29, 2005 "Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza." -Dave Barry Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cygnus Posted January 29, 2005 Author Share Posted January 29, 2005 "Not all chemicals are bad. Without chemicals such as hydrogen and oxygen, for example, there would be no way to make water, a vital ingredient in beer." -Dave Barry Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cygnus Posted January 29, 2005 Author Share Posted January 29, 2005 "People who drink light 'beer' don't like the taste of beer; they just like to pee alot." -Capital Brewery, Middleton, WI Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cygnus Posted January 29, 2005 Author Share Posted January 29, 2005 "No soldier can fight unless he is properly fed on beef and beer." -John Churchill, First Duke of Marlborough Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cygnus Posted January 29, 2005 Author Share Posted January 29, 2005 "Make sure that the beer - four pints a week - goes to the troops under fire before any of the parties in the rear get a drop." -Winston Churchill to his Secretary of War, 1944 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cygnus Posted January 29, 2005 Author Share Posted January 29, 2005 "If God had intended us to drink beer, He would have given us stomachs." -David Daye Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cygnus Posted January 29, 2005 Author Share Posted January 29, 2005 "If you ever reach total enlightenment while drinking beer, I bet it makes beer shoot out your nose." -Deep Thought, Jack Handy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cygnus Posted January 29, 2005 Author Share Posted January 29, 2005 "A woman drove me to drink and I didn't even have the decency to thank her." -W.C. Fields Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cygnus Posted January 29, 2005 Author Share Posted January 29, 2005 "Everybody has to believe in something.....I believe I'll have another drink." -W.C. Fields Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cygnus Posted January 29, 2005 Author Share Posted January 29, 2005 "One of the hallmarks of the baby boomer generation is that it doesn't live like the previous generation. It hasn't yet given up jeans and T-shirts or beer." -Ron Klugman, SVP, Coors Brewing Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cygnus Posted January 29, 2005 Author Share Posted January 29, 2005 "I am a firm believer in the people. If given the truth, they can be depended upon to meet any national crisis. The great point is to bring them the real facts, and beer." -Abraham Lincoln Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cygnus Posted January 29, 2005 Author Share Posted January 29, 2005 "Prohibition makes you want to cry into your beer and denies you the beer to cry into." -Don Marquis Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cygnus Posted January 29, 2005 Author Share Posted January 29, 2005 "Why is American beer served cold? So you can tell it from urine." -David Moulton Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cygnus Posted January 29, 2005 Author Share Posted January 29, 2005 "I drink to make other people interesting." -George Jean Nathan Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cygnus Posted January 29, 2005 Author Share Posted January 29, 2005 "May your glass be ever full. May the roof over your head be always strong. And may you be in heaven half an hour before the devil knows you're dead." -Old Irish Toast Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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