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BabyLoss support


RockAngel

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Has anyone gone through the hell of babyloss?

 

i've lost 4 angels. 3 passed away at 12 weeks into pregnancy and i lost my beautiful angel Emily Rose at 6 months into pregancy after i went into premature labour. She took one breath then they cut the cord and she slipped away. fists crying.gif That was 6 years ago now. We buried her under a beautiful tree in the kiddy's part of the cemetary so she's surrounded by angel playmates.

 

I went on to have my miracle babe Megan a year later. Sadly i cant have anymore children due to having a hyst last year.

 

Although time has made the pain less raw, it hasnt healed the hurt completely.

 

I was wondering if anyone who has experienced the heartbreak of miscarriage/stillbirth/neonatal death would be interested in getting to know me and each other, offering support and light relief from the dark days.

 

hug2.gif

 

 

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I tend to keep these thoughts buried but I have a brother that died at 1.5 years of age, a niece that died a couple of days after birth, and my own wife had a miscarriage. You can;t help but think of what could have been. I do have seven year old and seven month old daughters and I try to give them everything I can, especially my time.
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QUOTE (Ancient Ways @ Sep 24 2007, 04:02 AM)
I tend to keep these thoughts buried but I have a brother that died at 1.5 years of age, a niece that died a couple of days after birth, and my own wife had a miscarriage.  You can;t help but think of what could have been.  I do have seven year old and seven month old daughters and I try to give them everything I can, especially my time.

i'm so sorry for yr losses. hug2.gif Thank you for replying

 

One thing i have noticed is that dads tend to be 'forgotten'. Lots of people asked him how i was feeling but they tended to forget that he was grieving too.

My ex husband and i fell apart at different times after emily died so we found one was strong enough to be there for the other. sadly after a while, we both retreated into our own corners. I found the birth of my miracle babe megan brought a lot of suppressed feelings to the surface. Whilst i was elated to finally be a mum to a living child, i did find it very overwhelming. I kept waiting for someone to ask for her back! She's 5 now and the light of my life. She knows about her sister in heaven, i dont believe in keeping secrets from her, from my own experience i do believe that can be destructive. I found out at the age of 21 that i was in fact a twin but my twin died in pregnancy. My mother never told me until i was in fact expecting my first angel. I went through a period of 'mourning' for the sibling i never had. Although i have an older brother, we are no longer close. I keep thinkin, what if i had my twin with me now, how close would we be. It can be a very lonely thought.

 

I've never been one to keep my feelings to myself for long. I've tried that and it made me ill. I dont believe showing emotion is a sign of weakness but a sign of strength, although everyone is different and no one should be judged on what works for them.

 

I recieved no support from my family, they were 'old school'.. sweep things under the carpet as it nothing had happened kinda thing. When my ex and i were going through our divorce and residency court hearings, my ex and my mother very unkindly said that i would rather be a mother to a dead baby than a living one. I was suffering postnatal depression and my baby was the only person keeping me going. I'll never forgive them for saying that, not only was it a dispicable thing to say, it was also completely untrue. I dont think they realise that although our angels are no longer with us physically, they will always be with us in spirit.

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