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Men are pigs


Tom Sawyer

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QUOTE (Cygnus @ Mar 5 2007, 10:51 AM)
A young woman was taking an afternoon nap.
After she woke up, she told her husband, "I just dreamed that you
gave me a pearl necklace for Valentine's day. What do you think it means?"

"You'll know tonight." he said.

That evening, the man came home with a small package
and gave it to his wife. Delighted, she opened it--
only to find a book entitled "The meaning of dreams".

icon_really_happy_guy.gif z7shysterical.gif

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QUOTE (Daylin @ Mar 2 2007, 12:10 PM)
QUOTE (Arleen2112 @ Mar 2 2007, 08:34 AM)
QUOTE (ladirushfan80 @ Mar 2 2007, 09:32 AM)
i wonder how long it will be before asian rush fan chimes in????




just sayin'...



bolt.gif

wink.gif

 

I was just thinking the same thing laugh.gif

 

 

bolt.gif

Me three wink.gif

He'll have to deal with me if he does. firedevil.gif

 

 

wink.gif

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QUOTE (Cygnus @ Mar 5 2007, 01:09 PM)
QUOTE (Finbar @ Mar 5 2007, 01:17 PM)
I'm not a pig.

Not Yet tongue.gif

You're awfully presumptuous.

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This reminds me of an Email i got from my Aunt:

 

Difference Between Women And Men

1.NAMES

If Laurie, Linda, Elizabeth and Barbara go out for lunch, they will call each

other Laurie, Linda, Elizabeth and Barbara.

If Mark, Chris, Eric and Tom go out, they will affectionately refer to each

other as Fat Boy, Godzilla, Peanut-Head and Scrappy.

2.EATING OUT

When the bill arrives, Mark, Chris, Eric and Tom will each throw in a $20 even

though it's only for $32.50. None of them will have anything smaller and none

will actually admit they want change back.

When the women get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.

3.MONEY

A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.

A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need, but it's on sale.

4.BATHROOMS

A man has five items in his bathroom: a toothbrush, shaving cream, razor, a bar

of soap, and a towel from the Marriott.

The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337. A man would

not be able to identify most of these items.

5.ARGUMENTS

A woman has the last word in any argument.

Anything a man says after that... is the beginning of a new argument.

6.CATS

Women love cats.

Men say they love cats, but when women aren't looking, men kick cats.

7.FUTURE

A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.

A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.

8.SUCCESS

A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.

A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

9.MARRIAGE

A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.

A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, and she does.

10.DRESSING UP

A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the garbage,

answer the phone, read a book, and get the mail.

A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.

11.NATURAL

Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.

Women somehow deteriorate during the night.

12.OFFSPRING

Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist

appointments and romances, best friends, favorite foods, secret fears and hopes

and dreams.

A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house

13.THOUGHT FOR THE DAY

Any married man should forget his mistakes. There's no use in two people

remembering the same thing.

AND FINALLY....

A couple drove down a country road for several miles, not saying a word. An

earlier discussion had led to an argument and neither of them wanted to concede

their position. As they passed a barnyard of mules, jack asses, and pigs, the

husband asked sarcastically, "Relatives of yours?"

"Yep," the wife replied, "in-laws."

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QUOTE (daveyt @ Mar 5 2007, 08:50 PM)
QUOTE (Finbar @ Mar 5 2007, 11:33 AM)
QUOTE (Cygnus @ Mar 5 2007, 01:09 PM)
QUOTE (Finbar @ Mar 5 2007, 01:17 PM)
I'm not a pig.

Not Yet tongue.gif

You're awfully presumptuous.

find your inner pig, finbar trink36.gif

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v703/RushForum/26852739N00.jpg

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QUOTE (Groovybass77 @ Mar 5 2007, 04:38 PM)
This reminds me of an Email i got from my Aunt:

Difference Between Women And Men
1.NAMES
If Laurie, Linda, Elizabeth and Barbara go out for lunch, they will call each
other Laurie, Linda, Elizabeth and Barbara.
If Mark, Chris, Eric and Tom go out, they will affectionately refer to each
other as Fat Boy, Godzilla, Peanut-Head and Scrappy.
2.EATING OUT
When the bill arrives, Mark, Chris, Eric and Tom will each throw in a $20 even
though it's only for $32.50. None of them will have anything smaller and none
will actually admit they want change back.
When the women get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.
3.MONEY
A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.
A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need, but it's on sale.
4.BATHROOMS
A man has five items in his bathroom: a toothbrush, shaving cream, razor, a bar
of soap, and a towel from the Marriott.
The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337. A man would
not be able to identify most of these items.
5.ARGUMENTS
A woman has the last word in any argument.
Anything a man says after that... is the beginning of a new argument.
6.CATS
Women love cats.
Men say they love cats, but when women aren't looking, men kick cats.
7.FUTURE
A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
8.SUCCESS
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
9.MARRIAGE
A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, and she does.
10.DRESSING UP
A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the garbage,
answer the phone, read a book, and get the mail.
A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.
11.NATURAL
Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.
Women somehow deteriorate during the night.
12.OFFSPRING
Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist
appointments and romances, best friends, favorite foods, secret fears and hopes
and dreams.
A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house
13.THOUGHT FOR THE DAY
Any married man should forget his mistakes. There's no use in two people
remembering the same thing.
AND FINALLY....
A couple drove down a country road for several miles, not saying a word. An
earlier discussion had led to an argument and neither of them wanted to concede
their position. As they passed a barnyard of mules, jack asses, and pigs, the
husband asked sarcastically, "Relatives of yours?"
"Yep," the wife replied, "in-laws."

Our Aunt's think a like...mine sent me this a few weeks ago.

 

rofl3.gif

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QUOTE (Cygnus @ Feb 27 2007, 04:47 PM)
"Advice for office managers: If you keep the sexual harassment
complaint forms in the bottom drawer,
then when a woman goes to get one out you'll get a great view of her ass."

This was the only one I found truly funny here.

 

I know what category of farm animal I belong in. wink.gif

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http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v415/amandaladi/cartoons%20and%20fun/0758202857_01__AA240_SCLZZZZZZZ_.jpg
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