Alcoholism

[CeeJ]

Great topic.

I starting reading this thread yesterday

and had to stop. I have lived through alot

of "war grounds" with alcoholics.

 

My mom married my Dad, the man who raised us

when I was 7. He was the most wonderful DAD that

you could have. He was the one who would have

every kid in the neighborhood in our yard teaching

them to play football, give us all flashlights and play

tag and then walk them all home, and the one who

would sit and help me with my homework and made

sure that I understood what I was doing and not just

the assigned work but the actual problems in math or

what history lesson was being learned.

 

He was always a very hard worker. He would go to work

everyday and hang with his friends for an hour after work

his buddy's tavern. He'd come home and have family time

with us and make sure that we were all tucked in at night.

When we moved to Pennsylvania, he, instead of his buddy's

tavern, would bring home a 6-pack, and things just seemed

the same. Only now he would help with the homework while

having a few, then we would go out and play or watch movies.

 

So where is the problem?

 

That 6-pack a day eventually, over the period of the following

8 years turned into a 12-pack. He still did all the things that you

would love a DAD to do.

 

In 1988, just months after my son was born, my Dad was

diagnosed with Cirrhosis oif the liver. It was the worst thing

in the world. Or so I thought. He completely gave up the drink

and the doctors were very confident that he would get a liver

transplant. My mother took him to Pittsburg and he underwent

a battery of testing and all kinds of counsling. They gave him

a beeper and he would be notified as soon as they could find

a match. That day never came.

 

In 1992 my mother made a decision to "move on with her life"

and not have my Dad as part of that. She said that he was becoming

violent and his illness was taking a toll on her. My son was 4 at that

time and he and my Dad were"BUDS", so I decided to let my Dad

come stay with me. I loved my Dad like I loved no one else in the

world and I figured this was the right thing to do.

 

That next year was the most painful experience I have ever lived.

Cirrhosis of the liver has so many different complications that

occompany this disease that my Dad was in and out of the hospitals

monthly. He was hemmorhaging from all parts of his body, losing

his balance and falling all over the place, retaining fluids that needed

to be drained bi-weekly, not to mention the mood swings. Cirrhosis

causes the blood to by-pass the liver and send poisons to the brain.

 

 

My Dad passed on September 9, 1993.

 

As much as it killed me to watch him go through all of this...

I couldn't see him do it alone. I know that my Dad tried the best he

could to provide for my mother and us children and I now know that

he was an alcoholic. Even though he wasn't a fall down drunk, or a

raging drinker... He had a problem that KILLED HIM.

 

Aside from my Dad my mom has sisters that wake up and crack open

a beer for breakfast... And all of them are in denial.

"No one is gonna tell me what I can and can't do", is what they say.

And they saw what happened to my Dad.

 

I really have rambled alot but this is why I came here I think.

 

Thanks for the therapy.

[ES-335]

QUOTE (CeeJ @ Feb 21 2007, 09:18 PM)

Great topic. I starting reading this thread yesterday and had to stop. I have lived through alot of "war grounds" with alcoholics. My mom married my Dad, the man who raised us when I was 7. He was the most wonderful DAD that you could have. He was the one who would have every kid in the neighborhood in our yard teaching them to play football, give us all flashlights and play tag and then walk them all home, and the one who would sit and help me with my homework and made sure that I understood what I was doing and not just the assigned work but the actual problems in math or what history lesson was being learned. He was always a very hard worker. He would go to work everyday and hang with his friends for an hour after work his buddy's tavern. He'd come home and have family time with us and make sure that we were all tucked in at night. When we moved to Pennsylvania, he, instead of his buddy's tavern, would bring home a 6-pack, and things just seemed the same. Only now he would help with the homework while having a few, then we would go out and play or watch movies. So where is the problem? That 6-pack a day eventually, over the period of the following 8 years turned into a 12-pack. He still did all the things that you would love a DAD to do. In 1988, just months after my son was born, my Dad was diagnosed with Cirrhosis oif the liver. It was the worst thing in the world. Or so I thought. He completely gave up the drink and the doctors were very confident that he would get a liver transplant. My mother took him to Pittsburg and he underwent a battery of testing and all kinds of counsling. They gave him a beeper and he would be notified as soon as they could find a match. That day never came. In 1992 my mother made a decision to "move on with her life" and not have my Dad as part of that. She said that he was becoming violent and his illness was taking a toll on her. My son was 4 at that time and he and my Dad were"BUDS", so I decided to let my Dad come stay with me. I loved my Dad like I loved no one else in the world and I figured this was the right thing to do. That next year was the most painful experience I have ever lived. Cirrhosis of the liver has so many different complications that occompany this disease that my Dad was in and out of the hospitals monthly. He was hemmorhaging from all parts of his body, losing his balance and falling all over the place, retaining fluids that needed to be drained bi-weekly, not to mention the mood swings. Cirrhosis causes the blood to by-pass the liver and send poisons to the brain. My Dad passed on September 9, 1993. As much as it killed me to watch him go through all of this... I couldn't see him do it alone. I know that my Dad tried the best he could to provide for my mother and us children and I now know that he was an alcoholic. Even though he wasn't a fall down drunk, or a raging drinker... He had a problem that KILLED HIM. Aside from my Dad my mom has sisters that wake up and crack open a beer for breakfast... And all of them are in denial. "No one is gonna tell me what I can and can't do", is what they say. And they saw what happened to my Dad. I really have rambled alot but this is why I came here I think. Thanks for the therapy.

Props to you Ceej for taking in your dad and taking care of him

 

 

 

 

 

 

[owlswing]

QUOTE (ES-335 @ Feb 21 2007, 09:53 PM)

QUOTE (CeeJ @ Feb 21 2007, 09:18 PM) Great topic. I starting reading this thread yesterday and had to stop. I have lived through alot of "war grounds" with alcoholics. My mom married my Dad, the man who raised us when I was 7. He was the most wonderful DAD that you could have. He was the one who would have every kid in the neighborhood in our yard teaching them to play football, give us all flashlights and play tag and then walk them all home, and the one who would sit and help me with my homework and made sure that I understood what I was doing and not just the assigned work but the actual problems in math or what history lesson was being learned. He was always a very hard worker. He would go to work everyday and hang with his friends for an hour after work his buddy's tavern. He'd come home and have family time with us and make sure that we were all tucked in at night. When we moved to Pennsylvania, he, instead of his buddy's tavern, would bring home a 6-pack, and things just seemed the same. Only now he would help with the homework while having a few, then we would go out and play or watch movies. So where is the problem? That 6-pack a day eventually, over the period of the following 8 years turned into a 12-pack. He still did all the things that you would love a DAD to do. In 1988, just months after my son was born, my Dad was diagnosed with Cirrhosis oif the liver. It was the worst thing in the world. Or so I thought. He completely gave up the drink and the doctors were very confident that he would get a liver transplant. My mother took him to Pittsburg and he underwent a battery of testing and all kinds of counsling. They gave him a beeper and he would be notified as soon as they could find a match. That day never came. In 1992 my mother made a decision to "move on with her life" and not have my Dad as part of that. She said that he was becoming violent and his illness was taking a toll on her. My son was 4 at that time and he and my Dad were"BUDS", so I decided to let my Dad come stay with me. I loved my Dad like I loved no one else in the world and I figured this was the right thing to do. That next year was the most painful experience I have ever lived. Cirrhosis of the liver has so many different complications that occompany this disease that my Dad was in and out of the hospitals monthly. He was hemmorhaging from all parts of his body, losing his balance and falling all over the place, retaining fluids that needed to be drained bi-weekly, not to mention the mood swings. Cirrhosis causes the blood to by-pass the liver and send poisons to the brain. My Dad passed on September 9, 1993. As much as it killed me to watch him go through all of this... I couldn't see him do it alone. I know that my Dad tried the best he could to provide for my mother and us children and I now know that he was an alcoholic. Even though he wasn't a fall down drunk, or a raging drinker... He had a problem that KILLED HIM. Aside from my Dad my mom has sisters that wake up and crack open a beer for breakfast... And all of them are in denial. "No one is gonna tell me what I can and can't do", is what they say. And they saw what happened to my Dad. I really have rambled alot but this is why I came here I think. Thanks for the therapy. Props to you Ceej for taking in your dad and taking care of him   Rambling is good http://i161.photobucket.com/albums/t236/dpagano4/3400890566-1.jpg

[CeeJ]

QUOTE (owlswing @ Feb 21 2007, 09:59 PM)

QUOTE (ES-335 @ Feb 21 2007, 09:53 PM) QUOTE (CeeJ @ Feb 21 2007, 09:18 PM) Great topic. I starting reading this thread yesterday and had to stop. I have lived through alot of "war grounds" with alcoholics. My mom married my Dad, the man who raised us when I was 7. He was the most wonderful DAD that you could have. He was the one who would have every kid in the neighborhood in our yard teaching them to play football, give us all flashlights and play tag and then walk them all home, and the one who would sit and help me with my homework and made sure that I understood what I was doing and not just the assigned work but the actual problems in math or what history lesson was being learned. He was always a very hard worker. He would go to work everyday and hang with his friends for an hour after work his buddy's tavern. He'd come home and have family time with us and make sure that we were all tucked in at night. When we moved to Pennsylvania, he, instead of his buddy's tavern, would bring home a 6-pack, and things just seemed the same. Only now he would help with the homework while having a few, then we would go out and play or watch movies. So where is the problem? That 6-pack a day eventually, over the period of the following 8 years turned into a 12-pack. He still did all the things that you would love a DAD to do. In 1988, just months after my son was born, my Dad was diagnosed with Cirrhosis oif the liver. It was the worst thing in the world. Or so I thought. He completely gave up the drink and the doctors were very confident that he would get a liver transplant. My mother took him to Pittsburg and he underwent a battery of testing and all kinds of counsling. They gave him a beeper and he would be notified as soon as they could find a match. That day never came. In 1992 my mother made a decision to "move on with her life" and not have my Dad as part of that. She said that he was becoming violent and his illness was taking a toll on her. My son was 4 at that time and he and my Dad were"BUDS", so I decided to let my Dad come stay with me. I loved my Dad like I loved no one else in the world and I figured this was the right thing to do. That next year was the most painful experience I have ever lived. Cirrhosis of the liver has so many different complications that occompany this disease that my Dad was in and out of the hospitals monthly. He was hemmorhaging from all parts of his body, losing his balance and falling all over the place, retaining fluids that needed to be drained bi-weekly, not to mention the mood swings. Cirrhosis causes the blood to by-pass the liver and send poisons to the brain. My Dad passed on September 9, 1993. As much as it killed me to watch him go through all of this... I couldn't see him do it alone. I know that my Dad tried the best he could to provide for my mother and us children and I now know that he was an alcoholic. Even though he wasn't a fall down drunk, or a raging drinker... He had a problem that KILLED HIM. Aside from my Dad my mom has sisters that wake up and crack open a beer for breakfast... And all of them are in denial. "No one is gonna tell me what I can and can't do", is what they say. And they saw what happened to my Dad. I really have rambled alot but this is why I came here I think. Thanks for the therapy. Props to you Ceej for taking in your dad and taking care of him   Rambling is good http://i161.photobucket.com/albums/t236/dpagano4/3400890566-1.jpg http://i70.photobucket.com/albums/i81/ceejspics/Lotsa.jpg   I just took care of my Dad the way he did us. At the same time it gave my son some extra time with him. I wish that my son could remember more about him.   Thanks for listening.

[ladirushfan80]

QUOTE (CeeJ @ Feb 21 2007, 10:20 PM)

QUOTE (owlswing @ Feb 21 2007, 09:59 PM) QUOTE (ES-335 @ Feb 21 2007, 09:53 PM) QUOTE (CeeJ @ Feb 21 2007, 09:18 PM) Great topic. I starting reading this thread yesterday and had to stop. I have lived through alot of "war grounds" with alcoholics. My mom married my Dad, the man who raised us when I was 7. He was the most wonderful DAD that you could have. He was the one who would have every kid in the neighborhood in our yard teaching them to play football, give us all flashlights and play tag and then walk them all home, and the one who would sit and help me with my homework and made sure that I understood what I was doing and not just the assigned work but the actual problems in math or what history lesson was being learned. He was always a very hard worker. He would go to work everyday and hang with his friends for an hour after work his buddy's tavern. He'd come home and have family time with us and make sure that we were all tucked in at night. When we moved to Pennsylvania, he, instead of his buddy's tavern, would bring home a 6-pack, and things just seemed the same. Only now he would help with the homework while having a few, then we would go out and play or watch movies. So where is the problem? That 6-pack a day eventually, over the period of the following 8 years turned into a 12-pack. He still did all the things that you would love a DAD to do. In 1988, just months after my son was born, my Dad was diagnosed with Cirrhosis oif the liver. It was the worst thing in the world. Or so I thought. He completely gave up the drink and the doctors were very confident that he would get a liver transplant. My mother took him to Pittsburg and he underwent a battery of testing and all kinds of counsling. They gave him a beeper and he would be notified as soon as they could find a match. That day never came. In 1992 my mother made a decision to "move on with her life" and not have my Dad as part of that. She said that he was becoming violent and his illness was taking a toll on her. My son was 4 at that time and he and my Dad were"BUDS", so I decided to let my Dad come stay with me. I loved my Dad like I loved no one else in the world and I figured this was the right thing to do. That next year was the most painful experience I have ever lived. Cirrhosis of the liver has so many different complications that occompany this disease that my Dad was in and out of the hospitals monthly. He was hemmorhaging from all parts of his body, losing his balance and falling all over the place, retaining fluids that needed to be drained bi-weekly, not to mention the mood swings. Cirrhosis causes the blood to by-pass the liver and send poisons to the brain. My Dad passed on September 9, 1993. As much as it killed me to watch him go through all of this... I couldn't see him do it alone. I know that my Dad tried the best he could to provide for my mother and us children and I now know that he was an alcoholic. Even though he wasn't a fall down drunk, or a raging drinker... He had a problem that KILLED HIM. Aside from my Dad my mom has sisters that wake up and crack open a beer for breakfast... And all of them are in denial. "No one is gonna tell me what I can and can't do", is what they say. And they saw what happened to my Dad. I really have rambled alot but this is why I came here I think. Thanks for the therapy. Props to you Ceej for taking in your dad and taking care of him   Rambling is good http://i161.photobucket.com/albums/t236/dpagano4/3400890566-1.jpg http://i70.photobucket.com/albums/i81/ceejspics/Lotsa.jpg   I just took care of my Dad the way he did us. At the same time it gave my son some extra time with him. I wish that my son could remember more about him.   Thanks for listening.   CeeJ... http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v415/amandaladi/moving%20pictures%20smilies/big-hug.gif

[Atomic.Feedback!]

QUOTE (CeeJ @ Feb 21 2007, 08:18 PM)

Great topic. I starting reading this thread yesterday and had to stop. I have lived through alot of "war grounds" with alcoholics. My mom married my Dad, the man who raised us when I was 7. He was the most wonderful DAD that you could have. He was the one who would have every kid in the neighborhood in our yard teaching them to play football, give us all flashlights and play tag and then walk them all home, and the one who would sit and help me with my homework and made sure that I understood what I was doing and not just the assigned work but the actual problems in math or what history lesson was being learned. He was always a very hard worker. He would go to work everyday and hang with his friends for an hour after work his buddy's tavern. He'd come home and have family time with us and make sure that we were all tucked in at night. When we moved to Pennsylvania, he, instead of his buddy's tavern, would bring home a 6-pack, and things just seemed the same. Only now he would help with the homework while having a few, then we would go out and play or watch movies. So where is the problem? That 6-pack a day eventually, over the period of the following 8 years turned into a 12-pack. He still did all the things that you would love a DAD to do. In 1988, just months after my son was born, my Dad was diagnosed with Cirrhosis oif the liver. It was the worst thing in the world. Or so I thought. He completely gave up the drink and the doctors were very confident that he would get a liver transplant. My mother took him to Pittsburg and he underwent a battery of testing and all kinds of counsling. They gave him a beeper and he would be notified as soon as they could find a match. That day never came. In 1992 my mother made a decision to "move on with her life" and not have my Dad as part of that. She said that he was becoming violent and his illness was taking a toll on her. My son was 4 at that time and he and my Dad were"BUDS", so I decided to let my Dad come stay with me. I loved my Dad like I loved no one else in the world and I figured this was the right thing to do. That next year was the most painful experience I have ever lived. Cirrhosis of the liver has so many different complications that occompany this disease that my Dad was in and out of the hospitals monthly. He was hemmorhaging from all parts of his body, losing his balance and falling all over the place, retaining fluids that needed to be drained bi-weekly, not to mention the mood swings. Cirrhosis causes the blood to by-pass the liver and send poisons to the brain. My Dad passed on September 9, 1993. As much as it killed me to watch him go through all of this... I couldn't see him do it alone. I know that my Dad tried the best he could to provide for my mother and us children and I now know that he was an alcoholic. Even though he wasn't a fall down drunk, or a raging drinker... He had a problem that KILLED HIM. Aside from my Dad my mom has sisters that wake up and crack open a beer for breakfast... And all of them are in denial. "No one is gonna tell me what I can and can't do", is what they say. And they saw what happened to my Dad. I really have rambled alot but this is why I came here I think. Thanks for the therapy.

I'm not sure I could do that, take my dad in. It's not that I hate him or anything, it's just... well, let's just say he isn't that "great DAD" you talk about.

 

And let me just say how glad I was when I got my license.

 

I s'pose this sounds very terrible and all, but I just tend to be melodramatic when I write.

 

As for taking him in or anything, fortunately I've got two older brothers to pass the buck off to.

 

 

 

....well, now that I look at this post, there's not much there. There was more, I just decided against it.

 

[tangy]

QUOTE (Drunk Pirate Robert @ Feb 16 2007, 11:56 PM)

For a change of pace in this forum, a really serious topic: what is "alcoholism"? Do you know, or have you known in the past, anybody personally you would describe as an "alcoholic"? If so, what about them makes you describe them as an "alcoholic"? What is the difference between being an "alcoholic" and somebody who likes to drink lots of alcohol? Is there a difference?

An alcoholic is anyone who drinks more than you do.

[JohnnyBlaze]

This thread made me think of these Ani DiFranco lyrics:

 

"And they say that alcoholics are always alcoholics

Even when they're as dry as my lips for years

Even when they're stranded on a small desert island

With no place within 2,000 miles to buy beer"

[Lady April]

QUOTE (tangdog @ Feb 23 2007, 02:53 PM)

QUOTE (Drunk Pirate Robert @ Feb 16 2007, 11:56 PM) For a change of pace in this forum, a really serious topic: what is "alcoholism"?  Do you know, or have you known in the past, anybody personally you would describe as an "alcoholic"?  If so, what about them makes you describe them as an "alcoholic"?  What is the difference between being an "alcoholic" and somebody who likes to drink lots of alcohol?  Is there a difference? An alcoholic is anyone who drinks more than you do. Hey, this is my first time posting in this thread. If I might ... Alcoholism is a diseased conditioned of the body brought on by excessive use of alcohol. I know lots of these people. I am one. It is a disease that has varying levels effecting the body and mind. The biggest problem is that even when you quit after knowing you have a problem there are long term effects whether you realize they are there or not.   The difference between an alcoholic and someone who just likes to drink alot is big. Some people who I call "normies" can drink and still function in life everyday. But for a lot of people the day comes when that process stops working for them and they cannot function in life any longer. Drinking becomes the #1 priority even above job, spouse and children.   Anyone, any thoughts?

[Lady April]

sorry.

[goose]

QUOTE (owlswing @ Feb 20 2007, 09:19 AM)

QUOTE (Milton Banana @ Feb 19 2007, 04:43 PM) Great thread on a very serious topic.  It's always good to know you're not alone in this...  I have some questions for the posters here, but first, my background: My parents both were alcoholics too.  Mom was a classic case (passive-aggressive, hiding the drinks, lying to family, teaching me to lie to others, etc.)  After years of counseling, meetings, rehab, you name it, she completely bottomed out 4 years ago and now resides in a nursing home at the age of 65 because she cannot take care of herself any longer.  She's basically ruined the life the good Lawd gave her... Dad was the alcoholic who used it to get away from life, a weekend warrior, if you will.  He worked hard all week, but come Friday night his home was at the local bar.  He'd come home for dinner, and then go back out again.  This went on from when I was a baby until he left my mom (I was an adult by then) and remarried someone else, who set him straight.  Painful shoulder problems a year ago drove him to drinking a lot of cheap Chianti ("Pain pills don't work", he said) but since shoulder surgery he has stopped all that, and his second wife has made sure of it. I agree that alcoholism is a hereditary disease, and though I am not an alcoholic, I know I carry that gene in my blood.  As a result I am reluctant to have kids of my own.  If I ever passed down the gene that wrecked my mother's life, and nearly my father's too, I would never forgive myself.  Obviously, this does not sit well with the missus.  She wants kids, and thinks I am being incredibly selfish and using my parents as an excuse.  As she puts it, "My parents don't belong in our marriage".  I'd like kids too, really, but if the choice is having kids and risking that they may have addictive personalities, or not having them at all... well... So how many of you who post here are parents?  Have you had this conversation with yourself and/or with your significant other?  What did they think?  Do you believe this is a gene that can be passed thru generations?  What do you tell your kids about alcohol or alcoholics? Again, keep up the great posting... Hi - yeah even if alcoholism is hereditary disease it doesn't mean your kids will have the problem.   I don't whole heartly agree that it is all the gene factor, some maybe but it's also choices.   After, what I can trace back to 3 generations of alcoholics, my sister and I broke the cycle.   I have 4 kids and talk straight with them, well the older 3. My oldest knows all about Grandpa and what happened when he drank, and what could happen if she does. She knows from me and school that alcohol is a drug and should be used responsibily. Bottom line - I've planted the seeds in her - what happens will happen but I'll be here every step.   Yeah, I see some what of an additive nature in my kids, but we focus it to other areas.   If you love kids, have them it's really that simple. So much can effect a childs life if it be hereditary, environment, social setting etc. Yes, Owlswing, the trick is to find a positive outlet for whatever obsessive tendencies one might have. I'm a child of an alcoholic as well, and am careful about my involvement with drinking. I feel fortunate to live in an age where the issue can be openly discussed. I think it's helped me make good, guilt-free choices.   Great thread, by the way.

[Dread Pirate Robert]

Interesting thread.

 

Ironic that I started it on a drunken whim.

[Rolinda Bonz]

Concerning the heredity of alcoholism...

My late husband quit drinking for a year and began having panic attacks and anxiety. His doctor asked if he drank and if his father drank (both of them were alcoholics.) The doctor suggested that alcohol abuse, in some cases, is a form of self-medication for anxiety.

 

I'm not sure it's true. I don't understand much about alcoholism (or anxiety for that matter,) but the people at AA do.

 

12_Questions

 

 

[rushgoober]

The worse experience I had with alcohol (and after reading this thread, i count myself very lucky) was with my father's first cousin and her family. From what I can gather, my father's first cousin, her husband and her mother were all alcoholics. I used to actually enjoy visiting them on occasion as a young child, but if there was excessive drinking going on, I was unaware of it.

 

My father had a 45th birthday party many years ago. That side of the family was there and the husband got very drunk. I remember him verbally abusing my brother (who was 13 at the time), and it was quite unpleasant. Then I remember a scene in the driveway where he was insisting on driving home (about a 2-hour drive) and it took quite a few people quite a few minutes to convince him to go in the back seat for someone else to drive him home. They had a teen-age daughter with them that just looked mortified and horribly embarrassed while all of this was going on.

 

My father might have seen them afterwards, but no one else in my family ever had any contact with them again. I actually called his first cousin once when my father died to tell her, and even that was pretty miserable. All she could talk about was how everyone in the family hated her and no one ever called her, and this was after I told her my father had died!

 

Anyway, thankfully my parents were never drinkers. I remember they always had a liquor cabinet with bottles that were for parties, but literally they probably had the same 15 bottles for 15 years. That's how much they got used.

 

Part of why I stayed away from it was never being able to get into the taste of alcohol, but I think I was also afraid that if I liked it, I wouldn't be able to control it. My family still had addictive personalities (mostly food, also gambling for my father), and I was afraid of getting out of control with it. I would see friends drinking at parties all the time, and it really never looked very pleasant, especially when they were puking later in the front yard or a potted plant. I did get addicted (psychologically, not physically) to drugs for a year or so as a teen-ager, but thankfully quit that for good when I was 17. I feel pretty strongly that if I hadn't, I would have gone down a long, dark road that would have ended disastrously. Later this month is actually 20 years since I quit.

 

Anyway, while I haven't gone through what many here have, I feel for those who have. For me it's further confirmation to keep alcohol out of my life, although at the same time I don't mean to put down those that use it responsibly...

Edited March 5, 2007 by rushgoober

[owlswing]

QUOTE (rushgoober @ Mar 5 2007, 09:33 AM)

The worse experience I had with alcohol (and after reading this thread, i count myself very lucky) was with my father's first cousin and her family.  From what I can gather, my father's first cousin, her husband and her mother were all alcoholics.  I used to actually enjoy visiting them on occasion as a young child, but if there was excessive drinking going on, I was unaware of it. My father had a 45th birthday party many years ago.  That side of the family was there and the husband got very drunk.  I remember him verbally abusing my brother (who was 13 at the time), and it was quite unpleasant.  Then I remember a scene in the driveway where he was insisting on driving home (about a 2-hour drive) and it took quite a few people quite a few minutes to convince him to go in the back seat for someone else to drive him home.  They had a teen-age daughter with them that just looked mortified and horribly embarrassed while all of this was going on. My father might have seen them afterwards, but no one else in my family ever had any contact with them again.  I actually called his first cousin once when my father died to tell her, and even that was pretty miserable.  All she could talk about was how everyone in the family hated her and no one ever called her, and this was after I told her my father had died! Anyway, thankfully my parents were never drinkers.  I remember they always had a liquor cabinet with bottles that were for parties, but literally they probably had the same 15 bottles for 15 years.  That's how much they got used. Part of why I stayed away from it was never being able to get into the taste of alcohol, but I think I was also afraid that if I liked it, I wouldn't be able to control it.  My family still had addictive personalities (mostly food, also gambling for my father), and I was afraid of getting out of control with it.  I would see friends drinking at parties all the time, and it really never looked very pleasant, especially when they were puking later in the front yard or a potted plant.  I did get addicted (psychologically, not physically) to drugs for a year or so as a teen-ager, but thankfully quit that for good when I was 17.  I feel pretty strongly that if I hadn't, I would have gone down a long, dark road that would have ended disastrously.  Later this month is actually 20 years since I quit. Anyway, while I haven't gone through what many here have, I feel for those who have.  For me it's further confirmation to keep alcohol out of my life, although at the same time I don't mean to put down those that use it responsibly...

An early Congrats on that 20 year mark.

 

It's odd a lot of friends I had who avoided alcohol went to drugs. I too followed that road a bit but was lucky to realize I had better places to go.

[liquidcrystalcompass]

QUOTE (Drunk Pirate Robert @ Feb 25 2007, 10:49 AM)

Interesting thread. Ironic that I started it on a drunken whim.

[owlswing]

QUOTE (liquidcrystalcompass @ Mar 5 2007, 02:00 PM)

QUOTE (Drunk Pirate Robert @ Feb 25 2007, 10:49 AM) Interesting thread.  Ironic that I started it on a drunken whim. Ain't it amazing what one drunken whim can cause.....

[telegraphcreeklocal]

QUOTE (ES-335 @ Feb 21 2007, 07:53 PM)

QUOTE (CeeJ @ Feb 21 2007, 09:18 PM) Great topic. I starting reading this thread yesterday and had to stop. I have lived through alot of "war grounds" with alcoholics. My mom married my Dad, the man who raised us when I was 7. He was the most wonderful DAD that you could have. He was the one who would have every kid in the neighborhood in our yard teaching them to play football, give us all flashlights and play tag and then walk them all home, and the one who would sit and help me with my homework and made sure that I understood what I was doing and not just the assigned work but the actual problems in math or what history lesson was being learned. He was always a very hard worker. He would go to work everyday and hang with his friends for an hour after work his buddy's tavern. He'd come home and have family time with us and make sure that we were all tucked in at night. When we moved to Pennsylvania, he, instead of his buddy's tavern, would bring home a 6-pack, and things just seemed the same. Only now he would help with the homework while having a few, then we would go out and play or watch movies. So where is the problem? That 6-pack a day eventually, over the period of the following 8 years turned into a 12-pack. He still did all the things that you would love a DAD to do. In 1988, just months after my son was born, my Dad was diagnosed with Cirrhosis oif the liver. It was the worst thing in the world. Or so I thought. He completely gave up the drink and the doctors were very confident that he would get a liver transplant. My mother took him to Pittsburg and he underwent a battery of testing and all kinds of counsling. They gave him a beeper and he would be notified as soon as they could find a match. That day never came. In 1992 my mother made a decision to "move on with her life" and not have my Dad as part of that. She said that he was becoming violent and his illness was taking a toll on her. My son was 4 at that time and he and my Dad were"BUDS", so I decided to let my Dad come stay with me. I loved my Dad like I loved no one else in the world and I figured this was the right thing to do. That next year was the most painful experience I have ever lived. Cirrhosis of the liver has so many different complications that occompany this disease that my Dad was in and out of the hospitals monthly. He was hemmorhaging from all parts of his body, losing his balance and falling all over the place, retaining fluids that needed to be drained bi-weekly, not to mention the mood swings. Cirrhosis causes the blood to by-pass the liver and send poisons to the brain. My Dad passed on September 9, 1993. As much as it killed me to watch him go through all of this... I couldn't see him do it alone. I know that my Dad tried the best he could to provide for my mother and us children and I now know that he was an alcoholic. Even though he wasn't a fall down drunk, or a raging drinker... He had a problem that KILLED HIM. Aside from my Dad my mom has sisters that wake up and crack open a beer for breakfast... And all of them are in denial. "No one is gonna tell me what I can and can't do", is what they say. And they saw what happened to my Dad. I really have rambled alot but this is why I came here I think. Thanks for the therapy. Props to you Ceej for taking in your dad and taking care of him I've been listening to Geddys solo effort lately and the song Slipping I'd like to dedicate to Ceejs' Dad. You did really great taking care of him. I sure do hope there is a Heaven so we can all be with our loved ones again. TCL

[Dread Pirate Robert]

Edited into nothingness Edited March 6, 2007 by Drunk Pirate Robert

[Slacker]

I've read each and every post and i admire you all for your courage on such a sensitive topic. Since i was a teenage my only way of life was the bar. I'd work , go to school and meet my friend at the bar. When i was in my late 30's something became very clear to me. Alcoholism! What is it to be an alcoholic? I think i have a problem? What should i do?.. A friend of mind suggested a AA meeting which at first i was reluctant to go to. I had to do something, my body was giving me a message i couldn't ignore.. So i went to the meeting and another, then i knew i had a problem. I checked in to rehab for 28 days and it did change my life in ways that to this day i can deal with. I do drink now, but nothing like in the past, and when i say the past, I mean everyday. In the past 6 yrs i dropped 25 pounds, went from a size 36 to a 32.. I'm lucky i haven't cause any damage to my liver as i get blood work every 3 months..I know all of this can change in a day and i try to avoid that life..I moved away from my favorite place where i grow, where i have friends and family, only to avoid seeing the places where everybody knows my name.. Yes i can still knock them off, but i prefer the party atmosphere more these days .. I hope i made some sense, because this is never an easy topic for me Edited March 6, 2007 by SlackABob

[Dread Pirate Robert]

Edited into nothingness Edited March 6, 2007 by Drunk Pirate Robert

[Slacker]

QUOTE (Drunk Pirate Robert @ Mar 5 2007, 11:58 PM)

QUOTE (SlackABob @ Mar 5 2007, 11:46 PM) I've read each and every post and i admire you all for your courage on such a sensitive topic. Oh please. Some kind of "courage", posting semi-anonymously on an internet forum.   Frankly, as the one who started it, I hate this thread. It is far too full of self righteous patting oneself on the back type of self superiority.   I happen to think that sentiment is full of shit.   The guy who posted ( i think it was tangdog, without looking) that an "alcoholic" is "someone who drinks more than you do" was right on.   Just so much self serving propagandistic crap.   This thread is full of one sob story after another. Guess what folks, life is f***ing hard. PLENTY of people have sob stories equal too, or surpassing, your own, whether or not alcohol is involved. Get a grip on reality already. I didn't think you would like it, being a person with no courage!   Why would you even say that? You are a nasty person DPR!           QUOTE It is far too full of self righteous patting oneself on the back type of self superiority.    You just described each and every post you made here on TRF!   I know that you aren't as tough in person.. Keep hiding who you really are!   Good-Bye, DPR!

[Dread Pirate Robert]

Edited into nothingness Edited March 6, 2007 by Drunk Pirate Robert

[Slacker]

QUOTE (Drunk Pirate Robert @ Mar 6 2007, 12:35 AM)

QUOTE (SlackABob @ Mar 6 2007, 12:23 AM) QUOTE (Drunk Pirate Robert @ Mar 5 2007, 11:58 PM) QUOTE (SlackABob @ Mar 5 2007, 11:46 PM) I've read each and every post and i admire you all for your courage on such a sensitive topic. Oh please. Some kind of "courage", posting semi-anonymously on an internet forum.   Frankly, as the one who started it, I hate this thread. It is far too full of self righteous patting oneself on the back type of self superiority.   I happen to think that sentiment is full of shit.   The guy who posted ( i think it was tangdog, without looking) that an "alcoholic" is "someone who drinks more than you do" was right on.   Just so much self serving propagandistic crap.   This thread is full of one sob story after another. Guess what folks, life is f***ing hard. PLENTY of people have sob stories equal too, or surpassing, your own, whether or not alcohol is involved. Get a grip on reality already. I didn't think you would like it, being a person with no courage!   Why would you even say that? You are a nasty person DPR!           QUOTE It is far too full of self righteous patting oneself on the back type of self superiority.    You just described each and every post you made here on TRF!   I know that you aren't as tough in person.. Keep hiding who you really are!   Good-Bye, DPR! Yep, I know the drill. Deviate from the official AA line, and one becomes a heretic. No logic or reason necessary, just members who tow the party line, right? Maybe you should give a try?   You have all the marking as one who would deviate from the official AA line..

[Dread Pirate Robert]

Edited into nothingness Edited March 6, 2007 by Drunk Pirate Robert