This is exactly how I feel! It has been very difficult for me to keep it together. I must confess that there are certain hours of the day when my mind wanders and thinks of Neil. I still cannot believe he's gone!
I feel like I have lost a friend! I know that it has been two weeks, but the grief has not worn off! I don't expect it will for a while. It is not something that I can control.Yes. I am a 32 year old grown woman, who cried her eyes out for Neil. I am not ashamed to admit it.
Below are my thoughts on why I am grieving for Neil. As strange as this may sound, the guy meant a lot to me for reasons that I have stated below.
When I discovered Rush in March, 2014, I could not believe how in sync they were with my thoughts on so many subjects. Trust me. I am an extremely complex person and that is not an easy thing to achieve! I must confess that some of my peers look at me funny on my rather outlandish views on subjects like religion, sexuality, etc. And yes, I have always had trouble "fitting in"! And boy, do I hate that phrase!! With Rush, I FINALLY found a band that I could have an extremely deep and personal conversation with. I then discovered that it was Neil who was the mastermind behind all the beautiful lyrics! In my eyes, he will always be the ultimate lyrical maestro! I felt incredibly fortunate to have discovered such an intellectual band! Rush is more than just a rock band. Rush is an educative experience and we all have Neil to thank for it!
Every time I play a Rush album, I always have the CD booklet beside me, wherein I scrutinize the lyrics very closely. I love the musical prowess and the deep thinking that went into each album! Maybe I do read way too much into the lyrics, but as cliché as this is going to sound, I feel that there were so many songs that were written especially for me! For instance, I adore the song "Totem" from "Test For Echo". It echoed my innermost thoughts, feelings and sentiments. But with that being said, having studied at a Catholic school, trust me the nuns will most certainly despise my current train of thought and may choose to label me as a "heathen" at this very moment. As amusing as I find this pretty interesting predicament to be right now, my 17 year old self would have been absolutely terrified to have my mind think this way! With Neil writing such lyrics, it was as if there was a lovely man out there who was trying to tell me: "Don't stress out, kid! It is OK to feel what you're feeling! Trust me. You're OK!".
I was so amused when Neil stated so modestly at the R&R HOF Induction Ceremony that all it took was a "rhyming dictionary" and a "guitar"! What a guy! A consummate professional and gentleman to the very end! I am so glad and thankful that I existed when he, Alex and Geddy walked the earth!
I now need to get acquainted with the books that Neil so lovingly put together. It is time. I was so busy immersing myself in Rush's brilliant discography that I couldn't quite find the time.
I also do not get how some folks perceived Neil as "aloof", "reticent", etc. I mean the guy literally poured his heart and soul into not only his drumming, but also into his books and into the lyrics to practically all of Rush's songs! If someone were to ask me which member of Rush I can really relate to on an extremely personal level, my answer without a doubt would be Neil Peart!
Edited by preetha_1987, 16 January 2020 - 05:55 PM.