Death or: The Act of Dying and How I Learned to Deal With It

[blueschica]

I think it's because death is not only the end of something but is also the great unknown. Nobody knows for sure what happens after death. That combined with the fact that everyone loses someone they love to it at some point makes it a very hard word to mention and topic of conversation. The words death or died bring up many emotions. Many people use words that sound a little nicer as a way to deal with it better.

Saying passed or left is more polite to say around those who cared for the deceased because it implies a subtly different kind of absence than death or non-existence. It's much more abrasive to mention death or dying specifically because it brings up the harsh reality that a person's life has, as far as science can show us, ended permanently. This is a much more difficult thing to accept than the idea that the loved one has simply gone somewhere else not to be seen or heard from until you follow them there.

 

In some cultures death is one of the more celebrated aspects of life. I find the idea charming, personally. But in our culture the predominant feelings toward death are fear, sadness, grief, weakness, etc. Thus we mourn the dead more than celebrate their life as now can be viewed in full. Thus we show respect to those who have lost someone to death by using more polite phrasings about the subject.

 

Lovely and comforting ideas from you both and very current as we had a death in my sister's family this week. Not trying to be funny or disrespectful but either "died" or "passed on" is preferable to my dad's well used "bought the farm" or "kicked the bucket." :huh:

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h57UR-oIE_g

[goose]

I think it's because death is not only the end of something but is also the great unknown. Nobody knows for sure what happens after death. That combined with the fact that everyone loses someone they love to it at some point makes it a very hard word to mention and topic of conversation. The words death or died bring up many emotions. Many people use words that sound a little nicer as a way to deal with it better.

Saying passed or left is more polite to say around those who cared for the deceased because it implies a subtly different kind of absence than death or non-existence. It's much more abrasive to mention death or dying specifically because it brings up the harsh reality that a person's life has, as far as science can show us, ended permanently. This is a much more difficult thing to accept than the idea that the loved one has simply gone somewhere else not to be seen or heard from until you follow them there.

 

In some cultures death is one of the more celebrated aspects of life. I find the idea charming, personally. But in our culture the predominant feelings toward death are fear, sadness, grief, weakness, etc. Thus we mourn the dead more than celebrate their life as now can be viewed in full. Thus we show respect to those who have lost someone to death by using more polite phrasings about the subject.

 

Lovely and comforting ideas from you both and very current as we had a death in my sister's family this week. Not trying to be funny or disrespectful but either "died" or "passed on" is preferable to my dad's well used "bought the farm" or "kicked the bucket." :huh:

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h57UR-oIE_g

Classic!

[Fridge]

I am myself. I do not answer to you. Why do you feel I should be obligated to live in silence and shame over my belief? My experiences in my life testify boldly to me of the existence of God. It would be more shameful to deny that. Why does that make you so uncomfortable?

 

As with many religious people, you misinterpret me:

 

I never said you answered to me, or that you should be silent or shamed about your belief. I have no respect for these beliefs whatsoever, but I believe utterly in your right to have them. As with other acquaintances of mine, I am quite prepared to accept your sincerity, I just think it highly likely that you are wrong.

 

Your faith in no way makes me "uncomfortable", but the only thing that mildly annoys me is assertion with no empirical evidence....I am prepared to accept I may be wrong if new evidence presents itself, though I think it's highly unlikely, therefore I cannot categorically deny the existence of an afterlife.

[edhunter]

Fair enough. You just seemed so annoyed about it. As if religious folks should have to offer a disclaimer that their comments are faith-based. That would be a hassle. I live my life under the presumption that my beliefs are facts. It's much easier that way and impedes no one.

[OldRUSHfan]

I think it's because death is not only the end of something but is also the great unknown. Nobody knows for sure what happens after death. That combined with the fact that everyone loses someone they love to it at some point makes it a very hard word to mention and topic of conversation. The words death or died bring up many emotions. Many people use words that sound a little nicer as a way to deal with it better.

Saying passed or left is more polite to say around those who cared for the deceased because it implies a subtly different kind of absence than death or non-existence. It's much more abrasive to mention death or dying specifically because it brings up the harsh reality that a person's life has, as far as science can show us, ended permanently. This is a much more difficult thing to accept than the idea that the loved one has simply gone somewhere else not to be seen or heard from until you follow them there.

 

In some cultures death is one of the more celebrated aspects of life. I find the idea charming, personally. But in our culture the predominant feelings toward death are fear, sadness, grief, weakness, etc. Thus we mourn the dead more than celebrate their life as now can be viewed in full. Thus we show respect to those who have lost someone to death by using more polite phrasings about the subject.

 

Lovely and comforting ideas from you both and very current as we had a death in my sister's family this week. Not trying to be funny or disrespectful but either "died" or "passed on" is preferable to my dad's well used "bought the farm" or "kicked the bucket." :huh:

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h57UR-oIE_g

 

I'm also into "Pushing up the Daisies" since I was a kid....

Edited August 21, 2018 by OldRUSHfan

[Principled Man]

I live my life under the presumption that my beliefs are facts. It's much easier that way and impedes no one.

 

 

That mindset has always been used to "impede" a great many people. People convince themselves that their beliefs and worldviews are facts, that they are righteous, and that they are not to be criticized. As a result, we've had millennia of genocides, inquisitions, crusades & jihads and other belief-based crimes.

[edhunter]

I live my life under the presumption that my beliefs are facts. It's much easier that way and impedes no one.

 

 

That mindset has always been used to "impede" a great many people. People convince themselves that their beliefs and worldviews are facts, that they are righteous, and that they are not to be criticized. As a result, we've had millennia of genocides, inquisitions, crusades & jihads and other belief-based crimes.

 

That's on those who did those things, not me.

[Fridge]

Fair enough. You just seemed so annoyed about it. As if religious folks should have to offer a disclaimer that their comments are faith-based. That would be a hassle. I live my life under the presumption that my beliefs are facts. It's much easier that way and impedes no one.

 

It may impede no one, but does reveal a certain arrogance...a fact cannot be "presumed", it is either a fact or not,and empirical evidence is required to verify this.

 

Let me ask you this...if presented with incontrovertible evidence that your beliefs were wrong, and that the only correct approach was scientific inquiry, would you change your mind?

[edhunter]

Fair enough. You just seemed so annoyed about it. As if religious folks should have to offer a disclaimer that their comments are faith-based. That would be a hassle. I live my life under the presumption that my beliefs are facts. It's much easier that way and impedes no one.

 

It may impede no one, but does reveal a certain arrogance...a fact cannot be "presumed", it is either a fact or not,and empirical evidence is required to verify this.

 

Let me ask you this...if presented with incontrovertible evidence that your beliefs were wrong, and that the only correct approach was scientific inquiry, would you change your mind?

 

I don't see the arrogance. I accept the tenets of my faith and do my best to live by them. It doesn't require a daily reevaluation of everything. If there were ever incontrovertible proof then I guess I would get a 10% raise, but not much else about my life would change. I've lived my life both by religious principles and not by religious principles. There is no question as to the better path. Certain posters here are prime examples as to the bitterness that can result from not having a solid anchor in your life. I generally feel pity for them.

Edited August 21, 2018 by edhunter

[Fordgalaxy]

Fair enough. You just seemed so annoyed about it. As if religious folks should have to offer a disclaimer that their comments are faith-based. That would be a hassle. I live my life under the presumption that my beliefs are facts. It's much easier that way and impedes no one.

 

It may impede no one, but does reveal a certain arrogance...a fact cannot be "presumed", it is either a fact or not,and empirical evidence is required to verify this.

 

Let me ask you this...if presented with incontrovertible evidence that your beliefs were wrong, and that the only correct approach was scientific inquiry, would you change your mind?

 

You're a riot.

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6Cs3Pvmmv0E

[Principled Man]

Certain posters here are prime examples as to the bitterness that can result from not having a solid anchor in your life.

 

 

Having religious beliefs is no guarantee that you'll have a solid anchor.

Not having any religious beliefs is no guarantee that you'll have a solid anchor.

 

True happiness comes from within. You can't get it from any outside source.

[Lucas]

Certain posters here are prime examples as to the bitterness that can result from not having a solid anchor in your life.

 

 

Having religious beliefs is no guarantee that you'll have a solid anchor.

Not having any religious beliefs is no guarantee that you'll have a solid anchor.

 

True happiness comes from within. You can't get it from any outside source.

 

Whether we call it "God" or "consciousness" or "life", that doesn;t really matter to me .. When I said that we are all bonded by "life", I feel that I could have used any of those three words and it would have meant something similar ..

 

Maybe if we called it "apple pie" instead of "God". it wouldn't distract so much from the meaning, but when I see another person or living thing, I see apple pie .. or, I see God ... God / life/ consciousness is in all of us, and that is the bond, and that is what makes us all one ...

 

So I do agree here with PM that it comes from within ... It is a matter of finding it within ourselves ..

 

And this is why I feel that John Rutsey or anyone who I have/had never met deserves my respect and why I cannot help but feel a sense of loss .... There is a bigger picture here, but still, I cannot help but feel for those who experience loss

Edited August 22, 2018 by Lucas

[edhunter]

Certain posters here are prime examples as to the bitterness that can result from not having a solid anchor in your life.

 

 

Having religious beliefs is no guarantee that you'll have a solid anchor.

Not having any religious beliefs is no guarantee that you'll have a solid anchor.

 

True happiness comes from within. You can't get it from any outside source.

 

Fair enough. Some folks here are just miserable then.

[Lucas]

Certain posters here are prime examples as to the bitterness that can result from not having a solid anchor in your life.

 

 

Having religious beliefs is no guarantee that you'll have a solid anchor.

Not having any religious beliefs is no guarantee that you'll have a solid anchor.

 

True happiness comes from within. You can't get it from any outside source.

 

Fair enough. Some folks here are just miserable then.

 

By no means am I suggesting that you aren;t a quality poster here - and I don;t venture out much on this forum, but your posts in this thread seem out of character ..

At first, I thought you were simply trying to stir the pot with some sarcasm, but there's definitely a thread of experience and sincerity in your later posts ..

 

If I ask "Are you serious ?" it will make me seem as if I am mocking your beliefs, which couldn;t be further from the truth ...

 

I'll leave it at this - even if you are toying with everyone here, it has at least sparked some conversation ..

[Fridge]

Certain posters here are prime examples as to the bitterness that can result from not having a solid anchor in your life.

 

 

Having religious beliefs is no guarantee that you'll have a solid anchor.

Not having any religious beliefs is no guarantee that you'll have a solid anchor.

 

True happiness comes from within. You can't get it from any outside source.

 

Fair enough. Some folks here are just miserable then.

 

Just in case you are meaning me, then I'm certainly not miserable...I have my own code of ethics and moral compass which reference no religion and I am quite happy with that.

 

Just because I challenge assertions of certainty with no supporting evidence doesn't mean I'm angry either (mildly irritated by the arrogance and complacency maybe lol)

[Fordgalaxy]

Certain posters here are prime examples as to the bitterness that can result from not having a solid anchor in your life.

 

 

Having religious beliefs is no guarantee that you'll have a solid anchor.

Not having any religious beliefs is no guarantee that you'll have a solid anchor.

 

True happiness comes from within. You can't get it from any outside source.

 

Fair enough. Some folks here are just miserable then.

 

Just in case you are meaning me, then I'm certainly not miserable...I have my own code of ethics and moral compass which reference no religion and I am quite happy with that.

 

Just because I challenge assertions of certainty with no supporting evidence doesn't mean I'm angry either (mildly irritated by the arrogance and complacency maybe lol)

Great post. Criticizing, poking fun, pointing out ridiculous beliefs, of ALL kinds (chemtrails, WTC #7, angels, etc) doesn't mean someone has been mentally injured by something nor does it mean one is miserable. Even Mr Rogers, reportedly one of the happiest people to ever live, was known to be critical of some things.

[Tick]

Death is something that creeps me out when I really meditate on it. Its the total unknown. I think about how someday near or far away the lights will go out for me and it will all be over. Then I ponder what will happen next. Is that the end of me for good? Will I go to heaven? Will I go to hell? Will I be back on earth in another form? Will it just be over, darkness and decay?

I don't worry as much about me leaving this earth but more so about the people I may leave behind. My wife, my daughter.

Honestly what I fear most of all is my wife going before me. That thought scares me to death and that is probably my biggest fear in this world.

 

This was a serious post, Treeduck so don't shit on it!

[Fridge]

Death is something that creeps me out when I really meditate on it. Its the total unknown. I think about how someday near or far away the lights will go out for me and it will all be over. Then I ponder what will happen next. Is that the end of me for good? Will I go to heaven? Will I go to hell? Will I be back on earth in another form? Will it just be over, darkness and decay?

I don't worry as much about me leaving this earth but more so about the people I may leave behind. My wife, my daughter.

Honestly what I fear most of all is my wife going before me. That thought scares me to death and that is probably my biggest fear in this world.

 

This was a serious post, Treeduck so don't shit on it!

 

I've bolded the part that is most important to me.....the concept of darkness and decay will be of no concern to you in that scenario..it will be as if you never existed, and there really is nothing to fear.

[Tick]

Death is something that creeps me out when I really meditate on it. Its the total unknown. I think about how someday near or far away the lights will go out for me and it will all be over. Then I ponder what will happen next. Is that the end of me for good? Will I go to heaven? Will I go to hell? Will I be back on earth in another form? Will it just be over, darkness and decay?

I don't worry as much about me leaving this earth but more so about the people I may leave behind. My wife, my daughter.

Honestly what I fear most of all is my wife going before me. That thought scares me to death and that is probably my biggest fear in this world.

 

This was a serious post, Treeduck so don't shit on it!

 

I've bolded the part that is most important to me.....the concept of darkness and decay will be of no concern to you in that scenario..it will be as if you never existed, and there really is nothing to fear.

Very true indeed, but the thought still creeps out.

[goose]

Death is something that creeps me out when I really meditate on it. Its the total unknown. I think about how someday near or far away the lights will go out for me and it will all be over. Then I ponder what will happen next. Is that the end of me for good? Will I go to heaven? Will I go to hell? Will I be back on earth in another form? Will it just be over, darkness and decay?

I don't worry as much about me leaving this earth but more so about the people I may leave behind. My wife, my daughter.

Honestly what I fear most of all is my wife going before me. That thought scares me to death and that is probably my biggest fear in this world.

 

This was a serious post, Treeduck so don't shit on it!

 

I've bolded the part that is most important to me.....the concept of darkness and decay will be of no concern to you in that scenario..it will be as if you never existed, and there really is nothing to fear.

BOC was right.

[Fridge]

Death is something that creeps me out when I really meditate on it. Its the total unknown. I think about how someday near or far away the lights will go out for me and it will all be over. Then I ponder what will happen next. Is that the end of me for good? Will I go to heaven? Will I go to hell? Will I be back on earth in another form? Will it just be over, darkness and decay?

I don't worry as much about me leaving this earth but more so about the people I may leave behind. My wife, my daughter.

Honestly what I fear most of all is my wife going before me. That thought scares me to death and that is probably my biggest fear in this world.

 

This was a serious post, Treeduck so don't shit on it!

 

I've bolded the part that is most important to me.....the concept of darkness and decay will be of no concern to you in that scenario..it will be as if you never existed, and there really is nothing to fear.

Very true indeed, but the thought still creeps out.

 

It does on a visceral level, and this goes a long way towards explaining why religion exists in the first place...that atavistic unreasoning fear of the unknown.

[treeduck]

Death is something that creeps me out when I really meditate on it. Its the total unknown. I think about how someday near or far away the lights will go out for me and it will all be over. Then I ponder what will happen next. Is that the end of me for good? Will I go to heaven? Will I go to hell? Will I be back on earth in another form? Will it just be over, darkness and decay?

I don't worry as much about me leaving this earth but more so about the people I may leave behind. My wife, my daughter.

Honestly what I fear most of all is my wife going before me. That thought scares me to death and that is probably my biggest fear in this world.

 

This was a serious post, Treeduck so don't shit on it!

I fear nothing except ovens! :pokercards:

[treeduck]

I kind of feel that I remember remembering being somewhere else before being here.

[Principled Man]

Death is something that creeps me out when I really meditate on it. Its the total unknown. I think about how someday near or far away the lights will go out for me and it will all be over. Then I ponder what will happen next. Is that the end of me for good? Will I go to heaven? Will I go to hell? Will I be back on earth in another form? Will it just be over, darkness and decay?

I don't worry as much about me leaving this earth but more so about the people I may leave behind. My wife, my daughter.

Honestly what I fear most of all is my wife going before me. That thought scares me to death and that is probably my biggest fear in this world.

 

This was a serious post, Treeduck so don't shit on it!

 

I've bolded the part that is most important to me.....the concept of darkness and decay will be of no concern to you in that scenario..it will be as if you never existed, and there really is nothing to fear.

Very true indeed, but the thought still creeps out.

 

It does on a visceral level, and this goes a long way towards explaining why religion exists in the first place...that atavistic unreasoning fear of the unknown.

 

Thinking hard about the Universe and our reality drives me batty. There is NO answer. All the creation myths that humans have even imagined are simply NOT acceptable answers. I don't want to believe. I want to KNOW how the Universe came to be.....and I will never know the Answer. Our entire species will most probably never know the Answer.

 

What existed before the universe? Is there an infinite number of universes, all nestled against each other in foam-like membranes? If so, how did all they come into existence? What existed before that? The infinite regression literally gives me a headache.....

Edited August 22, 2018 by Principled Man

[treeduck]

I don't get headaches, never had one. I don't really believe in them or that other people have them, to me their like UFO's, a little bit made up I think.