Death or: The Act of Dying and How I Learned to Deal With It

[Fordgalaxy]

Why do people have such a hard time even talking about death and dying? Recently Aretha Franklin "passed" and in the Neil's bleeding heart thread, someone posted something about "after Rutsey passed". We're all going to die, there's no way you're avoiding it, yet so many people have trouble even using the word "died" or any of it's synonyms except "pass" or "passed". Why is that?

[J2112YYZ]

I think it's because death is not only the end of something but is also the great unknown. Nobody knows for sure what happens after death. That combined with the fact that everyone loses someone they love to it at some point makes it a very hard word to mention and topic of conversation. The words death or died bring up many emotions. Many people use words that sound a little nicer as a way to deal with it better.

[Entre_Perpetuo]

Saying passed or left is more polite to say around those who cared for the deceased because it implies a subtly different kind of absence than death or non-existence. It's much more abrasive to mention death or dying specifically because it brings up the harsh reality that a person's life has, as far as science can show us, ended permanently. This is a much more difficult thing to accept than the idea that the loved one has simply gone somewhere else not to be seen or heard from until you follow them there.

 

In some cultures death is one of the more celebrated aspects of life. I find the idea charming, personally. But in our culture the predominant feelings toward death are fear, sadness, grief, weakness, etc. Thus we mourn the dead more than celebrate their life as now can be viewed in full. Thus we show respect to those who have lost someone to death by using more polite phrasings about the subject.

[Lucas]

oy gevalt, here we go

 

We are all bonded by one thing : life, and unfortunately, dealing with the loss of it

 

Having sympathy and showing respect is the least we can do for others -- and because we are all bonded by this life, by "others" we are all brothers and sisters

 

Those who choose to have respect and show care when talking about death are not the ones who I worry about -- it's those who have no understanding or compassion for people who may be suffering

Edited August 20, 2018 by Lucas

[Fordgalaxy]

I think it's because death is not only the end of something but is also the great unknown. Nobody knows for sure what happens after death. That combined with the fact that everyone loses someone they love to it at some point makes it a very hard word to mention and topic of conversation. The words death or died bring up many emotions. Many people use words that sound a little nicer as a way to deal with it better.

oy gevalt, here we go

 

We are all bonded by one thing : life, and unfortunately, dealing with the loss of it

 

Having sympathy and showing respect is the least we can do for others -- and because we are all bonded by this life, by "others" we are all brothers and sisters

 

Those who choose to have respect and show care when talking about death are not the ones who I worry about -- it's those who have no understanding or compassion for people who may be suffering

 

That's completely understandable, but I doubt anyone here is related to Rutsey or Franklin. I think it goes deeper than that.

[JohnnyBlaze]

I think it's because death is not only the end of something but is also the great unknown. Nobody knows for sure what happens after death. That combined with the fact that everyone loses someone they love to it at some point makes it a very hard word to mention and topic of conversation. The words death or died bring up many emotions. Many people use words that sound a little nicer as a way to deal with it better.

oy gevalt, here we go

 

We are all bonded by one thing : life, and unfortunately, dealing with the loss of it

 

Having sympathy and showing respect is the least we can do for others -- and because we are all bonded by this life, by "others" we are all brothers and sisters

 

Those who choose to have respect and show care when talking about death are not the ones who I worry about -- it's those who have no understanding or compassion for people who may be suffering

 

That's completely understandable, but I doubt anyone here is related to Rutsey or Franklin. I think it goes deeper than that.

 

No two amygdala (responsible for emotions) are the same especially after experiences stimulate the brain continuously.

 

 

Really though, J2112YYZ and Lucas have said all that needs to be said.

Edited August 20, 2018 by JohnnyBlaze

[Fordgalaxy]

Well then:

 

/thread

 

[JohnnyBlaze]

Well then:

 

/thread

 

 

What answer are you looking for? You got more than one. Everyone answered it thoughtfully too

[Fordgalaxy]

Well then:

 

/thread

 

 

What answer are you looking for? You got more than one. Everyone answered it thoughtfully too

 

I appreciate those but thought there might be a little more discussion. But it's late in some places so tomorrow may bring more, or not.

[edhunter]

Our souls are eternal. Death is just a necessary step In the journey. One need not worry.

[Fridge]

Our souls are eternal. Death is just a necessary step In the journey. One need not worry.

 

Probably straying into SOCN territory, but f**k it:

 

Who the hell (pun intended) are you to make such an assertion?

 

You cannot know that, just as I cannot know there is no afterlife (despite there being no empirical evidence throughout mankinds history)

[edhunter]

I am myself. I do not answer to you. Why do you feel I should be obligated to live in silence and shame over my belief? My experiences in my life testify boldly to me of the existence of God. It would be more shameful to deny that. Why does that make you so uncomfortable?

[treeduck]

I'll live forever you f***s!

[treeduck]

Our souls are eternal. Death is just a necessary step In the journey. One need not worry.

 

Probably straying into SOCN territory, but f**k it:

 

Who the hell (pun intended) are you to make such an assertion?

 

You cannot know that, just as I cannot know there is no afterlife (despite there being no empirical evidence throughout mankinds history)

Your "information" in the form of energy will continue on a quantum level.

[Permanent-Rush]

Why do people have such a hard time even talking about death and dying? Recently Aretha Franklin "passed" and in the Neil's bleeding heart thread, someone posted something about "after Rutsey passed". We're all going to die, there's no way you're avoiding it, yet so many people have trouble even using the word "died" or any of it's synonyms except "pass" or "passed". Why is that?

 

Well for me it is really a sensitive and triggering topic so that's why I don't talk about it, and some others as well get triggered and are sensitive to this particular topic. It ain't easy for some people to handle and that's okay.

[treeduck]

Why do people have such a hard time even talking about death and dying? Recently Aretha Franklin "passed" and in the Neil's bleeding heart thread, someone posted something about "after Rutsey passed". We're all going to die, there's no way you're avoiding it, yet so many people have trouble even using the word "died" or any of it's synonyms except "pass" or "passed". Why is that?

 

Well for me it is really a sensitive and triggering topic so that's why I don't talk about it, and some others as well get triggered and are sensitive to this particular topic. It ain't easy for some people to handle and that's okay.

[Fordgalaxy]

I am myself. I do not answer to you. Why do you feel I should be obligated to live in silence and shame over my belief? My experiences in my life testify boldly to me of the existence of God. It would be more shameful to deny that. Why does that make you so uncomfortable?

Many years ago, I watched a segment on 60 Minutes or one of those type shows, about the law and being able to involuntarily commit someone. This guy, as many schizophrenics do, thought he was better and stopped taking his meds went right back to being a full on schizophrenic and went missing. When his family finally found him, they were able to get him into a hospital and get the treatment he needed. Near the end of the segment, they were talking to him about what it was like when he was missing and he said he was just wandering around, trying to stay away from the dinosaurs he was seeing. The last words he said were, "I know you people tell me there aren't any dinosaurs or giant lizards, but I know what I saw."

[edhunter]

Seeing real dinosaurs would be awesome!

[Fordgalaxy]

Seeing real dinosaurs would be awesome!

So would seeing angels, or Jesus, or any of the other way religious people claim they know it's real.

[edhunter]

Seeing real dinosaurs would be awesome!

So would seeing angels, or Jesus, or any of the other way religious people claim they know it's real.

 

I'm just not one of the lucky ones then...

[Permanent-Rush]

Seeing real dinosaurs would be awesome!

So would seeing angels, or Jesus, or any of the other way religious people claim they know it's real.

 

Oh lighten Up.

[treeduck]

Seeing real dinosaurs would be awesome!

Your wish is granted:

 

[Principled Man]

We're all going to die, there's no way you're avoiding it, yet so many people have trouble even using the word "died" or any of it's synonyms except "pass" or "passed". Why is that?

 

Tens of thousands of years of human tradition are hard to give up. Hoping/believing in an afterlife goes back to the dawn of our species.

 

Old habits and fears die hard. The uncertainty of what happens when we die was terrifying 30,000 years ago, and it still is today for many people. Human language would be quite different without any references to death and dying. It still is that important. Regardless of all our advancements in science and technology, the fear and awe of death is still serious business.

 

Perhaps if we become like Vulcans in a few thousand years, we'll get over it.

[blueschica]

I think it's because death is not only the end of something but is also the great unknown. Nobody knows for sure what happens after death. That combined with the fact that everyone loses someone they love to it at some point makes it a very hard word to mention and topic of conversation. The words death or died bring up many emotions. Many people use words that sound a little nicer as a way to deal with it better.

Saying passed or left is more polite to say around those who cared for the deceased because it implies a subtly different kind of absence than death or non-existence. It's much more abrasive to mention death or dying specifically because it brings up the harsh reality that a person's life has, as far as science can show us, ended permanently. This is a much more difficult thing to accept than the idea that the loved one has simply gone somewhere else not to be seen or heard from until you follow them there.

 

In some cultures death is one of the more celebrated aspects of life. I find the idea charming, personally. But in our culture the predominant feelings toward death are fear, sadness, grief, weakness, etc. Thus we mourn the dead more than celebrate their life as now can be viewed in full. Thus we show respect to those who have lost someone to death by using more polite phrasings about the subject.

 

Lovely and comforting ideas from you both and very current as we had a death in my sister's family this week. Not trying to be funny or disrespectful but either "died" or "passed on" is preferable to my dad's well used "bought the farm" or "kicked the bucket." :huh:

Edited August 21, 2018 by blueschica

[Fordgalaxy]

I think it's because death is not only the end of something but is also the great unknown. Nobody knows for sure what happens after death. That combined with the fact that everyone loses someone they love to it at some point makes it a very hard word to mention and topic of conversation. The words death or died bring up many emotions. Many people use words that sound a little nicer as a way to deal with it better.

Saying passed or left is more polite to say around those who cared for the deceased because it implies a subtly different kind of absence than death or non-existence. It's much more abrasive to mention death or dying specifically because it brings up the harsh reality that a person's life has, as far as science can show us, ended permanently. This is a much more difficult thing to accept than the idea that the loved one has simply gone somewhere else not to be seen or heard from until you follow them there.

 

In some cultures death is one of the more celebrated aspects of life. I find the idea charming, personally. But in our culture the predominant feelings toward death are fear, sadness, grief, weakness, etc. Thus we mourn the dead more than celebrate their life as now can be viewed in full. Thus we show respect to those who have lost someone to death by using more polite phrasings about the subject.

 

Lovely and comforting ideas from you both and very current as we had a death in my sister's family this week. Not trying to be funny or disrespectful but either "died" or "passed on" is preferable to my dad's well used "bought the farm" or "kicked the bucket." :huh:

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h57UR-oIE_g

Edited August 21, 2018 by Fordgalaxy