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The language Nazi... These words are NOT verbs.... yet

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#41 HemiBeers

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Posted 07 July 2018 - 09:26 AM

Our HR department has an automatic email process that sends out these stupid ass "inspirational" emails at 8am every Monday.

I set up one of my Outlook rules to send it to deleted items automatically.

I think it would contribute to a more positive work environment if....you just leave me the f**k alone.

Edited by HemiBeers, 07 July 2018 - 09:27 AM.


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#42 HemiBeers

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Posted 07 July 2018 - 09:38 AM

Years ago my boss gave everyone a different inspirational poster for Christmas. I got the one below.

After I read this, I remarked "so I guess you're telling me I should stop rocking the boat?" It was a funny line, be somehow I don't think he appreciated it.

I crack up when employers and bosses think that simplistic, trite, hokey statements can all of a sudden transform everything.

The less stupid shit they say the better.

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#43 goose

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Posted 07 July 2018 - 12:08 PM

View Postlaughedatbytime, on 07 July 2018 - 09:22 AM, said:

View Postgoose, on 07 July 2018 - 08:56 AM, said:

View PostHemiBeers, on 06 July 2018 - 06:12 PM, said:

Perhaps digressing, but these advice phrases always bug me.

"follow you passion"

ok my passion is to sit in my underwear and smoke weed all day and eat cheetos. So how does that help with maintaining a living?

"find your soulmate"

Found her. Divorced 4 years later. f**k that.

People that come up with these fruity advice buzz phrases need to be kicked hard.
It's your attitude, not your aptitude, that determines your altitude.

:)
Be the change you want to see.
Don't let good get in the way of great.

#44 HemiBeers

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Posted 07 July 2018 - 02:07 PM

View Postlaughedatbytime, on 07 July 2018 - 09:22 AM, said:

View Postgoose, on 07 July 2018 - 08:56 AM, said:

View PostHemiBeers, on 06 July 2018 - 06:12 PM, said:

Perhaps digressing, but these advice phrases always bug me.

"follow you passion"

ok my passion is to sit in my underwear and smoke weed all day and eat cheetos. So how does that help with maintaining a living?

"find your soulmate"

Found her. Divorced 4 years later. f**k that.

People that come up with these fruity advice buzz phrases need to be kicked hard.
It's your attitude, not your aptitude, that determines your altitude.

:)
Be the change you want to see.
No, I'm trying to change things but you're in the f***ing way.

#45 HemiBeers

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Posted 07 July 2018 - 02:08 PM

View Postgoose, on 07 July 2018 - 12:08 PM, said:

View Postlaughedatbytime, on 07 July 2018 - 09:22 AM, said:

View Postgoose, on 07 July 2018 - 08:56 AM, said:

View PostHemiBeers, on 06 July 2018 - 06:12 PM, said:

Perhaps digressing, but these advice phrases always bug me.

"follow you passion"

ok my passion is to sit in my underwear and smoke weed all day and eat cheetos. So how does that help with maintaining a living?

"find your soulmate"

Found her. Divorced 4 years later. f**k that.

People that come up with these fruity advice buzz phrases need to be kicked hard.
It's your attitude, not your aptitude, that determines your altitude.

:)
Be the change you want to see.
Don't let good get in the way of great.
I'm great, you're good, so get the f**k out of my way.

#46 HemiBeers

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Posted 07 July 2018 - 02:11 PM

View Postgoose, on 07 July 2018 - 12:08 PM, said:

View Postlaughedatbytime, on 07 July 2018 - 09:22 AM, said:

View Postgoose, on 07 July 2018 - 08:56 AM, said:

View PostHemiBeers, on 06 July 2018 - 06:12 PM, said:

Perhaps digressing, but these advice phrases always bug me.

"follow you passion"

ok my passion is to sit in my underwear and smoke weed all day and eat cheetos. So how does that help with maintaining a living?

"find your soulmate"

Found her. Divorced 4 years later. f**k that.

People that come up with these fruity advice buzz phrases need to be kicked hard.
It's your attitude, not your aptitude, that determines your altitude.

:)
Be the change you want to see.
Don't let good get in the way of great.
It's a win win!

It's a trite phrase from someone who get's their life philosophy from dopey posters.

#47 HemiBeers

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Posted 07 July 2018 - 02:23 PM

This is the kind of drivel I have to see at 8am every Monday:

"We are not a team because we work together. We are a team because we respect, trust and care for each other."

:facepalm:

All I respect is my f***ing paycheck lady. I care about are things that could possibly endanger that, but that's as far as it goes.

I really need a new job or to find a fresh set of idiots to work for.

Edited by HemiBeers, 07 July 2018 - 02:24 PM.


#48 Mike Check

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Posted 09 July 2018 - 04:15 PM

View PostFridge, on 18 June 2018 - 11:51 AM, said:

I do tend to agree with you....I hate to see our elegant and complex language misused and even abused on occasion..

A pet hate of mine is the gross misapplication of the word "awesome".

Black Holes are awesome, The Grand Canyon is awesome, what you had for breakfast is not.
That was an awesome critique ;)

#49 Mike Check

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Posted 09 July 2018 - 04:49 PM

View PostHemiBeers, on 06 July 2018 - 06:12 PM, said:

Perhaps digressing, but these advice phrases always bug me.

"follow you passion"

ok my passion is to sit in my underwear and smoke weed all day and eat cheetos. So how does that help with maintaining a living?
Reminds me of the Ron White joke...

I was sitting on a bean bag chair, naked, eating Cheetos the other day when Robert Tilton came on TV. He's a televangelist out of Dallas. He looked at me and said, "Are you lonely?" Yeah. "Have you spent half your life in bars pursuing sins of the flesh?" This guy's good! "Are you sitting in a bean bag chair naked eating Cheetos?"... Yes, sir! "Do you have the urge to get up and send me a thousand dollars?" Ha, ha close! I thought he was talking about me there for a second!

#50 Mike Check

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Posted 09 July 2018 - 04:58 PM

View PostHemiBeers, on 07 July 2018 - 09:26 AM, said:

Our HR department has an automatic email process that sends out these stupid ass "inspirational" emails at 8am every Monday.

I set up one of my Outlook rules to send it to deleted items automatically.

I think it would contribute to a more positive work environment if....you just leave me the f**k alone.
Amen. My place has 10 company values that they cycle through (one every week) and send to everyone.  The worst part is managers have to each take a week and give an example of how they've seen those values put into practice in the work place.  Sometimes the supervisors have to take a turn too which worries me as that would be my next run up the ladder.  I hate seeing them and don't want to inflict them on others but I like my job.

#51 Mike Check

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Posted 09 July 2018 - 05:01 PM

There's no 'I' in team.  No shit..there's no 'U' either so go away and let me do my job.  That was my mantra when I worked for an inventory company and at Walmart.

#52 Mike Check

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Posted 09 July 2018 - 05:02 PM

Check your privilege.

#53 HemiBeers

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Posted 09 July 2018 - 06:10 PM

View PostMike Check, on 09 July 2018 - 05:02 PM, said:

Check your privilege.
hmmm that's a new one that I had to look up.

https://everydayfemi...rivilege-means/

Sorry but guilt doesn't work on me, because I don't feel anything to be guilty about.

Check your teeth after I punch you.

#54 toymaker

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Posted 09 July 2018 - 06:12 PM

View PostHemiBeers, on 07 July 2018 - 02:23 PM, said:

This is the kind of drivel I have to see at 8am every Monday:

"We are not a team because we work together. We are a team because we respect, trust and care for each other."

:facepalm:

All I respect is my f***ing paycheck lady. I care about are things that could possibly endanger that, but that's as far as it goes.

I really need a new job or to find a fresh set of idiots to work for.

I'm with ya, man.  I think people would be a lot nicer to each other if they didn't get sentimental bullshit rammed into their faces every day.  It irritates the hell out of me.  Clever little cheerleader phrases just cheapen the f**k out of what it means to be cool with each other.

#55 HemiBeers

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Posted 09 July 2018 - 06:14 PM

View PostMike Check, on 09 July 2018 - 04:58 PM, said:

View PostHemiBeers, on 07 July 2018 - 09:26 AM, said:

Our HR department has an automatic email process that sends out these stupid ass "inspirational" emails at 8am every Monday.

I set up one of my Outlook rules to send it to deleted items automatically.

I think it would contribute to a more positive work environment if....you just leave me the f**k alone.
Amen. My place has 10 company values that they cycle through (one every week) and send to everyone.  The worst part is managers have to each take a week and give an example of how they've seen those values put into practice in the work place.  Sometimes the supervisors have to take a turn too which worries me as that would be my next run up the ladder.  I hate seeing them and don't want to inflict them on others but I like my job.
The real cause of this is the 'quality standards' industry came out with like qs9000. A bunch of arbitrary measures that makes you jump through hoops, but rarely improves the business. Sure I worked for companies that did this. One is out of business...guess that bullshit mission statement and quality measures didn't cut it did it?

If your business has it's head up the ass, no quality measures will save you.

Edited by HemiBeers, 09 July 2018 - 06:16 PM.


#56 toymaker

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Posted 09 July 2018 - 06:23 PM

Mission statements are completely moronic.

Our company aims:

- to nurture a collaborative spirit of innovation.

- to work together to find new ways to nourish our company ethos

- to pioneer a philosophy that facilitates productive teamwork

- to reconcile divergent attitudes, approaches, and frameworks

- to pretend not to notice the redundancy and meaningless of the company mission

etc.

Edited by toymaker, 09 July 2018 - 06:25 PM.


#57 Alien Girl

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Posted 09 July 2018 - 07:06 PM

View Posttoymaker, on 09 July 2018 - 06:23 PM, said:

Mission statements are completely moronic.

Our company aims:

- to nurture a collaborative spirit of innovation.

- to work together to find new ways to nourish our company ethos

- to pioneer a philosophy that facilitates productive teamwork

- to reconcile divergent attitudes, approaches, and frameworks

- to pretend not to notice the redundancy and meaningless of the company mission

etc.

I don't understand any of those...
I mean, sure, I understand the meaning of the individual words.
But collectively they make no sense whatsoever.
Just pseudo-intellectual sounding bullshit.
Big words, put together, signifying nothing.

#58 HemiBeers

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Posted 09 July 2018 - 07:27 PM

View Posttoymaker, on 09 July 2018 - 06:23 PM, said:

Mission statements are completely moronic.

Our company aims:

- to nurture a collaborative spirit of innovation.

- to work together to find new ways to nourish our company ethos

- to pioneer a philosophy that facilitates productive teamwork

- to reconcile divergent attitudes, approaches, and frameworks

- to pretend not to notice the redundancy and meaningless of the company mission

etc.
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#59 Wil1972

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Posted 22 September 2018 - 10:33 AM

View PostAlien Girl, on 18 June 2018 - 03:50 PM, said:

I'm guilty of using (or overusing) 'awesome'...but old habits n' all, plus I am a child of the 80s.  Hard to let that shit go.  At least I'm not talking 'valley girl' all the time (not that I was back then, but still, it did leak into the casual daily lexicon of the middle/high- schooler of the times)... I will endeavor to use 'awesome' less unless something truly warrants it.  Oh, and usage of the word 'awesomesauce' in any application, at all, will result in that person getting kicked in the head.  There is no excuse for that shit.

And I hate corporate speak.  Those sentences don't even make any sense!!  And the onerous leaking over into resume writing that results..gotta hit those keywords so to make the computer readers 'ping'.

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I detest corporate speak.

#60 JohnnyBlaze

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Posted 22 September 2018 - 10:53 AM

View PostWil1972, on 22 September 2018 - 10:33 AM, said:

View PostAlien Girl, on 18 June 2018 - 03:50 PM, said:

I'm guilty of using (or overusing) 'awesome'...but old habits n' all, plus I am a child of the 80s.  Hard to let that shit go.  At least I'm not talking 'valley girl' all the time (not that I was back then, but still, it did leak into the casual daily lexicon of the middle/high- schooler of the times)... I will endeavor to use 'awesome' less unless something truly warrants it.  Oh, and usage of the word 'awesomesauce' in any application, at all, will result in that person getting kicked in the head.  There is no excuse for that shit.

And I hate corporate speak.  Those sentences don't even make any sense!!  And the onerous leaking over into resume writing that results..gotta hit those keywords so to make the computer readers 'ping'.

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I detest corporate speak.

I piss on corporate speak.

https://m.youtube.co...h?v=aH1GHSLtbxY

Edited by JohnnyBlaze, 22 September 2018 - 10:56 AM.





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