Worst song lyrics of all time, nomination round

[laughedatbytime]

Inspired by goose (hey, this isn't SOCN) and his album closer opener etc. competitions, I'd like to start a list of the songs with the worst lyrics of all time, followed by a vote to come up with the absolute worst. Let's go to 99. A couple of differences from the side opener/closer competitions...

 

1). Rush songs are eligible, because Half the World has to win SOMETHING.

2) No more than 10 songs can come from one lyricist/group/marketing gimmick

 

So let's start.

 

Though there are many worthy entrants, I believe any list of bad lyrics can't be without...

 

1). Lick It Up---KISS

 

Because it ain't no crime to be good to yourself

Edited May 16, 2018 by laughedatbytime

[Rick N. Backer]

1). Lick It Up---KISS

2). Black and Blue - Van Halen ("Slip n' slide. Push it in. Bitch sure got the rhythm." It's a single entendre.)

[Relayer2112]

1). Lick It Up---KISS

2). Black and Blue - Van Halen ("Slip n' slide. Push it in. Bitch sure got the rhythm." It's a single entendre.)

 

3). Still...You Turn Me On - ELP ("Every day a little sadder, a little madder, someone get me a ladder")

[KenJennings]

4) My Humps - Black Eyed Peas

[edhunter]

There are just so many to choose from... Neil wrote so many songs.

[invisible airwave]

5. Summer Girls - LFO

 

Imagine if a boy group did a rewrite of One Weak by Barenaked Ladies and it sucked.

[Lucas]

1). Lick It Up---KISS

2). Black and Blue - Van Halen

3) Still...You Turn Me On - ELP

4) My Humps Black Eyed Peas

5) Summer Girls - LFO

 

 

6) The Court Of The Crimson King - King Crimson

 

 

 

The keeper of the city keys

put shutters on the dreams

I wait outside the pilgrims door

​with insufficient schemes

 

 

It ain;t a crime to be good to yourself, but there should be a law against shit like that

 

!!!

[Bigbobby10]

1). Lick It Up---KISS

2). Black and Blue - Van Halen

3) Still...You Turn Me On - ELP

4) My Humps Black Eyed Peas

5) Summer Girls - LFO

6) The Court Of The Crimson King - King Crimson

 

 

7. Signed Curtain - Matching Mole

 

 

Here is what we have.

 

"This is the first verse

This is the first verse

This is the first verse, the first, the first

And this is the first verse, verse, first verse

And this is the first verse, verse

This is the first verse

 

And this is the chorus

Or perhaps it's a bridge

Or just another part of the song that I'm singing"

Edited May 16, 2018 by Bigbobby10

[Stormtron]

1) Lick It Up - KISS

2) Black and Blue - Van Halen

3) Still...You Turn Me On - ELP

4) My Humps Black Eyed Peas

5) Summer Girls - LFO

6) The Court Of The Crimson King - King Crimson

7) Signed Curtain - Matching Mole

 

8) Why Can't This Be Love - Van Halen

 

You could fill this list up with Van Hagar songs.

 

"Only fools rush in and only time will tell if we stand the test of time"

Edited May 16, 2018 by Stormtron

[vaportrailer]

1). Lick It Up---KISS

2). Black and Blue - Van Halen

3) Still...You Turn Me On - ELP

4) My Humps Black Eyed Peas

5) Summer Girls - LFO

6) The Court Of The Crimson King - King Crimson

7) Signed Curtain - Matching Mole

8) Why Can't This Be Love - Van Halen

 

9) Africa - Toto

 

Too numerous to mention.

Edited May 16, 2018 by vaportrailer

[HemiBeers]

1). Lick It Up---KISS

2). Black and Blue - Van Halen

3) Still...You Turn Me On - ELP

4) My Humps Black Eyed Peas

5) Summer Girls - LFO

6) The Court Of The Crimson King - King Crimson

7) Signed Curtain - Matching Mole

8) Why Can't This Be Love - Van Halen

9) Africa - Toto

 

10) Tai Shan - Rush

 

What? we waited until 10 for this?

 

Or let's just nominate everything on Test for Echo.

Edited May 16, 2018 by HemiBeers

[Segue Myles]

1). Lick It Up---KISS

2). Black and Blue - Van Halen

3) Still...You Turn Me On - ELP

4) My Humps Black Eyed Peas

5) Summer Girls - LFO

 

 

6) The Court Of The Crimson King - King Crimson

 

 

 

The keeper of the city keys

put shutters on the dreams

I wait outside the pilgrims door

​with insufficient schemes

 

 

It ain;t a crime to be good to yourself, but there should be a law against shit like that

 

!!!

 

They read ok...

[KenJennings]

This is already the worst thread ever.

[goose]

This is already the worst thread ever.

A perfect "car wreck" thread. You don't want to read it, but can't stand not to.

[laughedatbytime]

7) Poundcake-- VanHagar

[goose]

 

1). Lick It Up---KISS

2). Black and Blue - Van Halen

3) Still...You Turn Me On - ELP

4) My Humps Black Eyed Peas

5) Summer Girls - LFO

6) The Court Of The Crimson King - King Crimson

7) Signed Curtain - Matching Mole

8) Why Can't This Be Love - Van Halen

9) Africa - Toto

 

10) Tai Shan - Rush

 

11) Cygnus X-1, Book 1 - RUSH

 

A really, really bad read

[laughedatbytime]

1). Lick It Up---KISS

2). Black and Blue - Van Halen

3) Still...You Turn Me On - ELP

4) My Humps Black Eyed Peas

5) Summer Girls - LFO

6) The Court Of The Crimson King - King Crimson

7) Signed Curtain - Matching Mole

8) Why Can't This Be Love - Van Halen

9) Africa - Toto

 

10) Tai Shan - Rush

 

11) Cygnus X-1, Book 1 - RUSH

 

A really, really bad read

Poundcake, VanHagar, dammit!

[Principled Man]

12. Baby, I Love Your Way/Freebird Medley - Will To Power

 

I will not post any lyrics, as they will certainly infect my computer.

Edited May 16, 2018 by Principled Man

[laughedatbytime]

1). Lick It Up---KISS

2). Black and Blue - Van Halen

3) Still...You Turn Me On - ELP

4) My Humps Black Eyed Peas

5) Summer Girls - LFO

6) The Court Of The Crimson King - King Crimson

7) Signed Curtain - Matching Mole

8) Why Can't This Be Love - Van Halen

9) Africa - Toto

 

10) Tai Shan - Rush

 

11) Cygnus X-1, Book 1 - RUSH

 

A really, really bad read

13) .Poundcake, VanHagar, dammit!

Edited May 16, 2018 by laughedatbytime

[blueschica]

1). Lick It Up---KISS

2). Black and Blue - Van Halen

3) Still...You Turn Me On - ELP

4) My Humps Black Eyed Peas

5) Summer Girls - LFO

6) The Court Of The Crimson King - King Crimson

7) Signed Curtain - Matching Mole

8) Why Can't This Be Love - Van Halen

9) Africa - Toto

 

10) Tai Shan - Rush

 

What? we waited until 10 for this?

 

Or let's just nominate everything on Test for Echo.

 

I'm going for it!

 

1). Lick It Up---KISS

2). Black and Blue - Van Halen

3) Still...You Turn Me On - ELP

4) My Humps Black Eyed Peas

5) Summer Girls - LFO

6) The Court Of The Crimson King - King Crimson

7) Signed Curtain - Matching Mole

8) Why Can't This Be Love - Van Halen

9) Africa - Toto

10) Tai Shan - Rush

11) Cygnus X-1, Book 1 - RUSH

12) Baby, I Love Your Way/Freebird Medley - Will To Power

13) Poundcake-Van Hagar/Halen

 

14) Dog Years- RUSH Dog years-- it's the season of the itch

Edited May 16, 2018 by blueschica

[custom55]

15.) Clique by Jay-Z and KWest. Edited May 16, 2018 by custom55

[Entre_Perpetuo]

1). Lick It Up---KISS

2). Black and Blue - Van Halen

3) Still...You Turn Me On - ELP

4) My Humps Black Eyed Peas

5) Summer Girls - LFO

6) The Court Of The Crimson King - King Crimson

7) Signed Curtain - Matching Mole

8) Why Can't This Be Love - Van Halen

9) Africa - Toto

 

10) Tai Shan - Rush

 

11) Cygnus X-1, Book 1 - RUSH

 

A really, really bad read

 

And, lol, I'm done. Y'all enjoy dissing a bunch of great lyrics because they seem pretentious to you, meanwhile forgetting about the utter dreck in the world that's actually popular. Where's that Justin Bieber meme...?

[goose]

1). Lick It Up---KISS

2). Black and Blue - Van Halen

3) Still...You Turn Me On - ELP

4) My Humps Black Eyed Peas

5) Summer Girls - LFO

6) The Court Of The Crimson King - King Crimson

7) Signed Curtain - Matching Mole

8) Why Can't This Be Love - Van Halen

9) Africa - Toto

 

10) Tai Shan - Rush

 

11) Cygnus X-1, Book 1 - RUSH

 

A really, really bad read

 

And, lol, I'm done. Y'all enjoy dissing a bunch of great lyrics because they seem pretentious to you, meanwhile forgetting about the utter dreck in the world that's actually popular. Where's that Justin Bieber meme...?

Great music, awful lyrics.

 

And not pretentious, either. Just bad.

[Segue Myles]

1). Lick It Up---KISS

2). Black and Blue - Van Halen

3) Still...You Turn Me On - ELP

4) My Humps Black Eyed Peas

5) Summer Girls - LFO

6) The Court Of The Crimson King - King Crimson

7) Signed Curtain - Matching Mole

8) Why Can't This Be Love - Van Halen

9) Africa - Toto

 

10) Tai Shan - Rush

 

11) Cygnus X-1, Book 1 - RUSH

 

A really, really bad read

 

And, lol, I'm done. Y'all enjoy dissing a bunch of great lyrics because they seem pretentious to you, meanwhile forgetting about the utter dreck in the world that's actually popular. Where's that Justin Bieber meme...?

 

Calm down

[blueschica]

1). Lick It Up---KISS

2). Black and Blue - Van Halen

3) Still...You Turn Me On - ELP

4) My Humps Black Eyed Peas

5) Summer Girls - LFO

6) The Court Of The Crimson King - King Crimson

7) Signed Curtain - Matching Mole

8) Why Can't This Be Love - Van Halen

9) Africa - Toto

 

10) Tai Shan - Rush

 

11) Cygnus X-1, Book 1 - RUSH

 

A really, really bad read

 

And, lol, I'm done. Y'all enjoy dissing a bunch of great lyrics because they seem pretentious to you, meanwhile forgetting about the utter dreck in the world that's actually popular. Where's that Justin Bieber meme...?

 

I gotcha on that.