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Worst song lyrics of all time, nomination round


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#1 laughedatbytime

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Posted 16 May 2018 - 06:44 AM

Inspired by goose (hey, this isn't SOCN) and his album closer opener etc. competitions, I'd like to start a list of the songs with the worst lyrics of all time, followed by a vote to come up with the absolute worst.   Let's go to 99.   A couple of differences from the side opener/closer competitions...

1).  Rush songs are eligible, because Half the World has to win SOMETHING.
2)  No more than 10 songs can come from one lyricist/group/marketing gimmick

So let's start.

Though there are many worthy entrants, I believe any list of bad lyrics can't be without...

1).  Lick It Up---KISS

Because it ain't no crime to be good to yourself

Edited by laughedatbytime, 16 May 2018 - 04:25 PM.


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#2 Rick N. Backer

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Posted 16 May 2018 - 08:15 AM

1).  Lick It Up---KISS
2).  Black and Blue - Van Halen ("Slip n' slide. Push it in.  Bitch sure got the rhythm."  It's a single entendre.)

#3 Relayer2112

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Posted 16 May 2018 - 08:34 AM

View PostRick N. Backer, on 16 May 2018 - 08:15 AM, said:

1).  Lick It Up---KISS
2).  Black and Blue - Van Halen ("Slip n' slide. Push it in.  Bitch sure got the rhythm."  It's a single entendre.)

3).  Still...You Turn Me On - ELP ("Every day a little sadder, a little madder, someone get me a ladder")

#4 KenJennings

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Posted 16 May 2018 - 10:50 AM

4) My Humps - Black Eyed Peas

#5 edhunter

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Posted 16 May 2018 - 11:31 AM

There are just so many to choose from... Neil wrote so many songs.

#6 invisible airwave

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Posted 16 May 2018 - 11:51 AM

5. Summer Girls - LFO

Imagine if a boy group did a rewrite of One Weak by Barenaked Ladies and it sucked.

#7 Lucas

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Posted 16 May 2018 - 12:01 PM

1).  Lick It Up---KISS
2).  Black and Blue - Van Halen
3) Still...You Turn Me On - ELP
4) My Humps Black Eyed Peas
5) Summer Girls - LFO


6) The Court Of The Crimson King - King Crimson



The keeper of the city keys
put shutters on the dreams
I wait outside the pilgrims door
​with insufficient  schemes



It ain;t a crime to be good to yourself, but there should be a law against shit like that

!!!

#8 Bigbobby10

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Posted 16 May 2018 - 12:35 PM

1).  Lick It Up---KISS
2).  Black and Blue - Van Halen
3) Still...You Turn Me On - ELP
4) My Humps Black Eyed Peas
5) Summer Girls - LFO
6) The Court Of The Crimson King - King Crimson


7. Signed Curtain - Matching Mole


Here is what we have.

"This is the first verse
This is the first verse
This is the first verse, the first, the first
And this is the first verse, verse, first verse
And this is the first verse, verse
This is the first verse

And this is the chorus
Or perhaps it's a bridge
Or just another part of the song that I'm singing"

Edited by Bigbobby10, 16 May 2018 - 12:35 PM.


#9 Stormtron

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Posted 16 May 2018 - 02:14 PM

1) Lick It Up - KISS
2) Black and Blue - Van Halen
3) Still...You Turn Me On - ELP
4) My Humps Black Eyed Peas
5) Summer Girls - LFO
6) The Court Of The Crimson King - King Crimson
7) Signed Curtain - Matching Mole

8) Why Can't This Be Love - Van Halen

You could fill this list up with Van Hagar songs.

"Only fools rush in and only time will tell if we stand the test of time"

Edited by Stormtron, 16 May 2018 - 02:15 PM.


#10 vaportrailer

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Posted 16 May 2018 - 02:18 PM

1).  Lick It Up---KISS
2).  Black and Blue - Van Halen
3) Still...You Turn Me On - ELP
4) My Humps Black Eyed Peas
5) Summer Girls - LFO
6) The Court Of The Crimson King - King Crimson
7) Signed Curtain - Matching Mole
8) Why Can't This Be Love - Van Halen

9) Africa - Toto

Too numerous to mention.

Edited by vaportrailer, 16 May 2018 - 02:18 PM.


#11 HemiBeers

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Posted 16 May 2018 - 02:23 PM

1).  Lick It Up---KISS
2).  Black and Blue - Van Halen
3) Still...You Turn Me On - ELP
4) My Humps Black Eyed Peas
5) Summer Girls - LFO
6) The Court Of The Crimson King - King Crimson
7) Signed Curtain - Matching Mole
8) Why Can't This Be Love - Van Halen
9) Africa - Toto

10) Tai Shan - Rush

What? we waited until 10 for this?

Or let's just nominate everything on Test for Echo.

Edited by HemiBeers, 16 May 2018 - 02:24 PM.


#12 Segue Myles

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Posted 16 May 2018 - 02:25 PM

View PostLucas, on 16 May 2018 - 12:01 PM, said:

1).  Lick It Up---KISS
2).  Black and Blue - Van Halen
3) Still...You Turn Me On - ELP
4) My Humps Black Eyed Peas
5) Summer Girls - LFO


6) The Court Of The Crimson King - King Crimson



The keeper of the city keys
put shutters on the dreams
I wait outside the pilgrims door
​with insufficient  schemes



It ain;t a crime to be good to yourself, but there should be a law against shit like that

!!!

They read ok...

#13 KenJennings

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Posted 16 May 2018 - 02:59 PM

This is already the worst thread ever.

#14 goose

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Posted 16 May 2018 - 04:11 PM

View PostKenJennings, on 16 May 2018 - 02:59 PM, said:

This is already the worst thread ever.
A perfect "car wreck" thread.  You don't want to read it, but can't stand not to.

#15 laughedatbytime

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Posted 16 May 2018 - 04:15 PM

7) Poundcake-- VanHagar

#16 goose

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Posted 16 May 2018 - 04:19 PM


1).  Lick It Up---KISS
2).  Black and Blue - Van Halen
3) Still...You Turn Me On - ELP
4) My Humps Black Eyed Peas
5) Summer Girls - LFO
6) The Court Of The Crimson King - King Crimson
7) Signed Curtain - Matching Mole
8) Why Can't This Be Love - Van Halen
9) Africa - Toto

10) Tai Shan - Rush

11) Cygnus X-1, Book 1 - RUSH

A really, really bad read

#17 laughedatbytime

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Posted 16 May 2018 - 04:23 PM

View Postgoose, on 16 May 2018 - 04:19 PM, said:

1).  Lick It Up---KISS
2).  Black and Blue - Van Halen
3) Still...You Turn Me On - ELP
4) My Humps Black Eyed Peas
5) Summer Girls - LFO
6) The Court Of The Crimson King - King Crimson
7) Signed Curtain - Matching Mole
8) Why Can't This Be Love - Van Halen
9) Africa - Toto

10) Tai Shan - Rush

11) Cygnus X-1, Book 1 - RUSH

A really, really bad read
Poundcake, VanHagar, dammit!

#18 Principled Man

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Posted 16 May 2018 - 04:34 PM

12. Baby, I Love Your Way/Freebird Medley -  Will To Power

I will not post any lyrics, as they will certainly infect my computer.

Edited by Principled Man, 16 May 2018 - 04:35 PM.


#19 laughedatbytime

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Posted 16 May 2018 - 04:37 PM

View Postlaughedatbytime, on 16 May 2018 - 04:23 PM, said:

View Postgoose, on 16 May 2018 - 04:19 PM, said:

1).  Lick It Up---KISS
2).  Black and Blue - Van Halen
3) Still...You Turn Me On - ELP
4) My Humps Black Eyed Peas
5) Summer Girls - LFO
6) The Court Of The Crimson King - King Crimson
7) Signed Curtain - Matching Mole
8) Why Can't This Be Love - Van Halen
9) Africa - Toto

10) Tai Shan - Rush

11) Cygnus X-1, Book 1 - RUSH

A really, really bad read
13) .Poundcake, VanHagar, dammit!

Edited by laughedatbytime, 16 May 2018 - 04:38 PM.


#20 blueschica

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Posted 16 May 2018 - 04:39 PM

View PostHemiBeers, on 16 May 2018 - 02:23 PM, said:

1).  Lick It Up---KISS
2).  Black and Blue - Van Halen
3) Still...You Turn Me On - ELP
4) My Humps Black Eyed Peas
5) Summer Girls - LFO
6) The Court Of The Crimson King - King Crimson
7) Signed Curtain - Matching Mole
8) Why Can't This Be Love - Van Halen
9) Africa - Toto

10) Tai Shan - Rush

What? we waited until 10 for this?

Or let's just nominate everything on Test for Echo.

I'm going for it!

1).  Lick It Up---KISS
2).  Black and Blue - Van Halen
3) Still...You Turn Me On - ELP
4) My Humps Black Eyed Peas
5) Summer Girls - LFO
6) The Court Of The Crimson King - King Crimson
7) Signed Curtain - Matching Mole
8) Why Can't This Be Love - Van Halen
9) Africa - Toto
10) Tai Shan - Rush
11) Cygnus X-1, Book 1 - RUSH
12) Baby, I Love Your Way/Freebird Medley -  Will To Power
13) Poundcake-Van Hagar/Halen

14) Dog Years- RUSH        Dog years-- it's the season of the itch   :smash:

Edited by blueschica, 16 May 2018 - 04:42 PM.





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