Necromancer Posted October 5, 2005 Share Posted October 5, 2005 Yeah, this line of threads is getting old, but i'm really bored. It's raining and my vacation day is shot. So back in the eighties mostly, there was a slew of poser bands in the metal field. Guys who were worried more about the look than the sound. Here's the dilemma. Some of them were extremely talented. C.C. Deville for instance. So i wouldn't pick him for guitar. But there were guys that posed and pouted so much you wouldn't care if they were good anyway. THOSE are the guys to be picked for this thread. If you don't know the names (like me), just the instrument and the band will do. DRUMS: The guy from AUTOGRAPH. This guy was such a tool. His big thing was pounding on his head as he played. Now, maybe that works in a video, but i saw them open for Van Halen and he did it live too. He sucked and his constant posing made him suck even more than he naturally sucked. And on top of it... guys that looked like him and the lead singer of Autograph, had NO RIGHT at all pouting and posing to the camera. BASS: I'm going against my own rules here. This guy was a decent musician, but his posing routine was OFF THE CHARTS. So no matter that he was a good bass player, JEFF PILSON of Dokken gets my vote for most poserish bass player. I seen them open for Twisted Sister and you could tell that Don and George were in the middle of one of their classic fights. They didn't move around or put on any type of show, which just made Pilson's outlandish act even more garrish. The guy embarrassed me to watch him. Even in Rock Star, he acted like a tool. KEYS: This goes back a ways and he didn't have the level of success he so craved, but GREG GUIFFRIA gets the nod here. From the late seventies band ANGEL and into the eighties with his self named poser band GUIFFRIA, Greg wrote the book on male hair posing. All of it severly lacking in Metal God male posturing. He looked like a porn chick posing for stills in his videos. Lead Guitar: VINNIE VINCENT. Tell me no one would argue with this, right? No one i ever saw pouted and preened like this guy did. He was almost cool when he was the Ankh guy in Kiss. Then they dropped the makeup and went all pink and frilly and Vinnie's true nature began to shine. He gets fired and takes his act totally over the top with more makeup than he wore with KISS and hair extensions that made him look like he could be in VIXEN. Again, Vinnie had a boat load of talent, but his act made you forget that fact. I have no idea what he's done since INVASION, but really... WHO CARES??? Rhythm Guitar: Posers weren't always the makeup guys either. Though considered METAL GODS, either of the clowns from Priest could take this slot. I'll go with Tipton though. GLENN TIPTON puts on an act of guitar god preening and guitar humping of the air that makes you fully understand where Rob Reiner got his inspiration for THIS IS SPINAL TAP. Yeah, i love listening to Priest, but the way Glenn and KK act onstage is horribly embarrasing as a metal fan. Lead Singer: I was considering Halford for this too, but during his NON PRIEST days, he was pretty cool. Yeah, he's back to being pretty embarrassing with his act onstage again (HOW DID WE NOT KNOW???), but i'll give him a pass on this just 'cause he gets overshadowed by so many more. Including the winner: GEOFF TATE. Queensryche may be my second or third favorite band of all time, but lets get real here... Geoff never looked like he belonged on a rock stage. He pouted and posed more than any singer i've ever seen. His "come hither" stares into the camera in his videos made all of us want to barf, but we laughed through it. If you've ever seen the vid for the incredible song "Gonna Get Close to You", you know what i mean. Live, he was a bit less queazy, but he always had a bit of "broadway" in him. So there's my picks. Yeah... i've got way too much free time on my hands. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Indica Posted October 5, 2005 Share Posted October 5, 2005 This one is really easy. http://imagecache2.allposters.com/IMAGES/MMPH/226233.jpg Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MrMiltonBanana Posted October 5, 2005 Share Posted October 5, 2005 QUOTE (Indica @ Oct 5 2005, 01:28 PM) This one is really easy. http://imagecache2.allposters.com/IMAGES/MMPH/226233.jpg My thoughts exactly. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JohnnyBlaze Posted October 5, 2005 Share Posted October 5, 2005 To me, nearly all hip hop artists are posers. Everything from their fashion sense, gait, body language, choice of words (I'm talking about when they're not rapping), etc. It just happens to be a different style of music. Back to the topic, Vinnie Vincent...totally. Geoff Tate, I've always seemed to overlook probably because I like(d) the music. Necromancer, I haven't seen the viddy for 'Gonna get close to you' but I can imagine EXACTLY what he would look like. Cheesefest, eh? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Necromancer Posted October 6, 2005 Author Share Posted October 6, 2005 QUOTE (JohnnyBlaze @ Oct 5 2005, 06:31 PM) To me, nearly all hip hop artists are posers. Everything from their fashion sense, gait, body language, choice of words (I'm talking about when they're not rapping), etc. It just happens to be a different style of music. Back to the topic, Vinnie Vincent...totally. Geoff Tate, I've always seemed to overlook probably because I like(d) the music. Necromancer, I haven't seen the viddy for 'Gonna get close to you' but I can imagine EXACTLY what he would look like. Cheesefest, eh? Super cheese fest. like you, i love the music and the band so much that it was hard for me to pick Geoff, but take away his voice and he's really just a male model wannabe. there's a different kind of embarrassment that i might make a supergroup category for. Lame supergroups. I'm thinking some of the guys from Y&T and RAVEN and SAXON would fit this category well. They were posers in a different way. I can't explain it yet though. I'm working on it. I'm tapped out right now though. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Oberon Posted October 6, 2005 Share Posted October 6, 2005 Drums LARS ULRICH Guitar JANICK GERS Guitar YNGWIE MALMSTEEN Bass NIKKI SIXX Vocals PHIL ANSELMO Now while some of you may consider this to be the best band EVAR!, I find everyone of them has an attitude to match the worst posers ever. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PuppetKing2112 Posted October 6, 2005 Share Posted October 6, 2005 Vocals: James LeBrie Guitar: John Petrucci Bass: John Myung Keyboards: Jordan Rudess Drums: Mike Portnoy SOMEBODY top that. I dare you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Indica Posted October 6, 2005 Share Posted October 6, 2005 QUOTE (Oberon @ Oct 5 2005, 08:47 PM) Drums LARS ULRICH Guitar JANICK GERS Guitar YNGWIE MALMSTEEN Bass NIKKI SIXX Vocals PHIL ANSELMO That band would be awesome. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Oberon Posted October 6, 2005 Share Posted October 6, 2005 QUOTE (PuppetKing2112 @ Oct 5 2005, 07:52 PM) Vocals: James LeBrie Guitar: John Petrucci Bass: John Myung Keyboards: Jordan Rudess Drums: Mike Portnoy SOMEBODY top that. I dare you. priceless Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mustard Death Posted October 6, 2005 Share Posted October 6, 2005 QUOTE (PuppetKing2112 @ Oct 5 2005, 08:52 PM) Vocals: James LeBrie Guitar: John Petrucci Bass: John Myung Keyboards: Jordan Rudess Drums: Mike Portnoy SOMEBODY top that. I dare you. Vocals and guitar - Billie Joe Armstrong Bass - Mike Dirnt Drums - Tre Cool Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ES-335 Posted October 6, 2005 Share Posted October 6, 2005 Well ... I am not replying to this one as all the guys mentioned so far were a lot more successful in music than I was .... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Necromancer Posted October 6, 2005 Author Share Posted October 6, 2005 QUOTE (Indica @ Oct 5 2005, 07:55 PM) QUOTE (Oberon @ Oct 5 2005, 08:47 PM) Drums LARS ULRICH Guitar JANICK GERS Guitar YNGWIE MALMSTEEN Bass NIKKI SIXX Vocals PHIL ANSELMO That band would be awesome. yeah, i agree that band could possibly be amazing, but i see what he's getting at. They are all prima donnas and though not totally what i meant by poser, i guess it is a valid take on it. Makes me cringe that i used to worship Nikki. LOL. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Necromancer Posted October 6, 2005 Author Share Posted October 6, 2005 QUOTE (ES-335 @ Oct 5 2005, 08:08 PM) Well ... I am not replying to this one as all the guys mentioned so far were a lot more successful in music than I was .... I only made it to the point that i played bars and festival shows a meager amount of times and I still have EVERY right to bust ass on these pouting, lip licking, prima donna, clowns. C'mon now... admit it... you have to know of someone that was hugely popular that embarrassed you to be a music fan at some time of your career. Unless... IS THIS JEFF PILSON??? Oh my God... I'm so sorry i busted your ass dude. YOU were the best POUTER ever. No one threw their hair back and licked their lips while air humping with their bass better than YOU. I AM SO SORRY!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ES-335 Posted October 6, 2005 Share Posted October 6, 2005 QUOTE (Necromancer @ Oct 5 2005, 08:22 PM) QUOTE (ES-335 @ Oct 5 2005, 08:08 PM) Well ... I am not replying to this one as all the guys mentioned so far were a lot more successful in music than I was .... I only made it to the point that i played bars and festival shows a meager amount of times and I still have EVERY right to bust ass on these pouting, lip licking, prima donna, clowns. C'mon now... admit it... you have to know of someone that was hugely popular that embarrassed you to be a music fan at some time of your career. Unless... IS THIS JEFF PILSON??? Oh my God... I'm so sorry i busted your ass dude. YOU were the best POUTER ever. No one threw their hair back and licked their lips while air humping with their bass better than YOU. I AM SO SORRY!!! probably the reason my bands never made it was because we refused to pout Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Necromancer Posted October 6, 2005 Author Share Posted October 6, 2005 QUOTE (ES-335 @ Oct 5 2005, 08:28 PM) QUOTE (Necromancer @ Oct 5 2005, 08:22 PM) QUOTE (ES-335 @ Oct 5 2005, 08:08 PM) Well ... I am not replying to this one as all the guys mentioned so far were a lot more successful in music than I was .... I only made it to the point that i played bars and festival shows a meager amount of times and I still have EVERY right to bust ass on these pouting, lip licking, prima donna, clowns. C'mon now... admit it... you have to know of someone that was hugely popular that embarrassed you to be a music fan at some time of your career. Unless... IS THIS JEFF PILSON??? Oh my God... I'm so sorry i busted your ass dude. YOU were the best POUTER ever. No one threw their hair back and licked their lips while air humping with their bass better than YOU. I AM SO SORRY!!! probably the reason my bands never made it was because we refused to pout Cool. I'm just joking around ES. I find that i'm occassionally as funny as Goobs. No one else does, but I kill me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ES-335 Posted October 6, 2005 Share Posted October 6, 2005 QUOTE (Necromancer @ Oct 5 2005, 08:36 PM) QUOTE (ES-335 @ Oct 5 2005, 08:28 PM) QUOTE (Necromancer @ Oct 5 2005, 08:22 PM) QUOTE (ES-335 @ Oct 5 2005, 08:08 PM) Well ... I am not replying to this one as all the guys mentioned so far were a lot more successful in music than I was .... I only made it to the point that i played bars and festival shows a meager amount of times and I still have EVERY right to bust ass on these pouting, lip licking, prima donna, clowns. C'mon now... admit it... you have to know of someone that was hugely popular that embarrassed you to be a music fan at some time of your career. Unless... IS THIS JEFF PILSON??? Oh my God... I'm so sorry i busted your ass dude. YOU were the best POUTER ever. No one threw their hair back and licked their lips while air humping with their bass better than YOU. I AM SO SORRY!!! probably the reason my bands never made it was because we refused to pout Cool. I'm just joking around ES. I find that i'm occassionally as funny as Goobs. No one else does, but I kill me. Meeee tooo ... about half the posts I make are intended as jokes ... but i sometimes forget to put in emoticons. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
endlesslymocking Posted October 6, 2005 Share Posted October 6, 2005 QUOTE (Mustard Death @ Oct 5 2005, 08:05 PM) QUOTE (PuppetKing2112 @ Oct 5 2005, 08:52 PM) Vocals: James LeBrie Guitar: John Petrucci Bass: John Myung Keyboards: Jordan Rudess Drums: Mike Portnoy SOMEBODY top that. I dare you. Vocals and guitar - Billie Joe Armstrong Bass - Mike Dirnt Drums - Tre Cool I wonder what puppetking will say when he says that! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
invisibleairwaves Posted October 6, 2005 Share Posted October 6, 2005 QUOTE (Mustard Death @ Oct 5 2005, 08:05 PM) QUOTE (PuppetKing2112 @ Oct 5 2005, 08:52 PM) Vocals: James LeBrie Guitar: John Petrucci Bass: John Myung Keyboards: Jordan Rudess Drums: Mike Portnoy SOMEBODY top that. I dare you. Vocals and guitar - Billie Joe Armstrong Bass - Mike Dirnt Drums - Tre Cool OWNED Any combination of the members of Simple Plan and Good Charlotte would work too. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ES-335 Posted October 6, 2005 Share Posted October 6, 2005 QUOTE (endlesslymocking @ Oct 5 2005, 08:42 PM) QUOTE (Mustard Death @ Oct 5 2005, 08:05 PM) QUOTE (PuppetKing2112 @ Oct 5 2005, 08:52 PM) Vocals: James LeBrie Guitar: John Petrucci Bass: John Myung Keyboards: Jordan Rudess Drums: Mike Portnoy SOMEBODY top that. I dare you. Vocals and guitar - Billie Joe Armstrong Bass - Mike Dirnt Drums - Tre Cool I wonder what puppetking will say when he says that! Well, ES says ... Green Day is a great band! Also, tre cool is one of the fastest drummers I have seen. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mustard Death Posted October 6, 2005 Share Posted October 6, 2005 QUOTE (ES-335 @ Oct 5 2005, 10:16 PM) QUOTE (endlesslymocking @ Oct 5 2005, 08:42 PM) QUOTE (Mustard Death @ Oct 5 2005, 08:05 PM) QUOTE (PuppetKing2112 @ Oct 5 2005, 08:52 PM) Vocals: James LeBrie Guitar: John Petrucci Bass: John Myung Keyboards: Jordan Rudess Drums: Mike Portnoy SOMEBODY top that. I dare you. Vocals and guitar - Billie Joe Armstrong Bass - Mike Dirnt Drums - Tre Cool I wonder what puppetking will say when he says that! Well, ES says ... Green Day is a great band! Also, tre cool is one of the fastest drummers I have seen. Flo Munier > Tre Cool. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PuppetKing2112 Posted October 6, 2005 Share Posted October 6, 2005 I'm sorry, I think Dream Theater fits the requirements a LOT better than Green Day. Just my opinion. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Indica Posted October 6, 2005 Share Posted October 6, 2005 lol Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mustard Death Posted October 6, 2005 Share Posted October 6, 2005 QUOTE (PuppetKing2112 @ Oct 6 2005, 12:29 AM) I'm sorry, I think Dream Theater fits the requirements a LOT better than Green Day. Just my opinion. I was kinda just joking, I don't reallly have anything against Green Day. I'm just not a fan of most of their music. Although when you look at it... DT and GD have similiarities (not music-wise >_>) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PuppetKing2112 Posted October 6, 2005 Share Posted October 6, 2005 Key difference: Green Day seem to actually be having a blast onstage (I've seen em twice now), and they know how to poke fun at themselves, and they don't take themselves too seriously. Whereas DT are boring virtuosos whose main goal seems to be to say "look at us! We can solo really fast and play mechanical covers of songs!" No sense of humor at all...and Portnoy comparing himself to Neil all the time pisses me off. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Oberon Posted October 7, 2005 Share Posted October 7, 2005 QUOTE (Mustard Death @ Oct 5 2005, 09:28 PM) QUOTE (ES-335 @ Oct 5 2005, 10:16 PM) Well, ES says ... Green Day is a great band! Also, tre cool is one of the fastest drummers I have seen. Flo Munier > Tre Cool. ES, you've been... OWNED! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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