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George Carlin Thread (Inspired by Monty Python thread.)


snowdogged
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I have been posting in the Monty Python thread lately and enjoy looking for lines from the scripts that would fit with the previous post. It got me thinking that it would be great to do the same thing with George Carlin. He has so much material to choose from and is arguably just as iconic as Monty Python when it comes to comedy. I for one think he is the best comedian of all time, just as the majority of most comedians today would probably say.

 

Anyhow, I am going to start this off and hopefully some others will like the idea and post, If not, I will just let the thread die.

I will post the line in my next post.

 

Thanks

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I approve of this thread. Haven't watched too many of Carlin's specials in recent years although I can recite most of them back word for word while watching them. Will certainly have to give them a watch again soon.
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Why, why, why, why is it that most of the people who are against abortion are people you wouldn't want to f**k in the first place, huh? Boy, these conservatives are really something, aren't they? They're all in favor of the unborn. They will do anything for the unborn. But once you're born, you're on your own. Pro-life conservatives are obsessed with the fetus from conception to nine months. After that, they don't want to know about you. They don't want to hear from you. No nothing. No neonatal care, no day care, no head start, no school lunch, no food stamps,no welfare, no nothing. If you're preborn, you're fine; if you're preschool, you're f***ed.

That's good but the idea of the thread is to maybe just take one or two sentences from his monologues that would relate to the post before. We keep on quoting each others post trying to somehow keep the theme or meaning of the previous post. I don't know if I have explained it properly? Once a string of quotes gets long enough we just start a new one.

 

Thanks

Edited by snowdogged
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Why, why, why, why is it that most of the people who are against abortion are people you wouldn't want to f**k in the first place, huh? Boy, these conservatives are really something, aren't they? They're all in favor of the unborn. They will do anything for the unborn. But once you're born, you're on your own. Pro-life conservatives are obsessed with the fetus from conception to nine months. After that, they don't want to know about you. They don't want to hear from you. No nothing. No neonatal care, no day care, no head start, no school lunch, no food stamps,no welfare, no nothing. If you're preborn, you're fine; if you're preschool, you're f***ed.

That's good but the idea of the thread is to maybe just take one or two sentences from his monologues that would relate to the post before. We keep on quoting each others post trying to somehow keep the theme or meaning of the previous post. I don't know if I have explained it properly? Once a string of quotes gets long enough we just start a new one.

 

Thanks

That took about 20 seconds to read....

 

Tangy did nothing wrong there. I really doubt this thread could ever pick up like the Python Thread because Carlin is monologuing, he isn't carrying on a back and forth conversation like in Python. You need to keep some of his paragraphs whole.

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Why, why, why, why is it that most of the people who are against abortion are people you wouldn't want to f**k in the first place, huh? Boy, these conservatives are really something, aren't they? They're all in favor of the unborn. They will do anything for the unborn. But once you're born, you're on your own. Pro-life conservatives are obsessed with the fetus from conception to nine months. After that, they don't want to know about you. They don't want to hear from you. No nothing. No neonatal care, no day care, no head start, no school lunch, no food stamps,no welfare, no nothing. If you're preborn, you're fine; if you're preschool, you're f***ed.
That's good but the idea of the thread is to maybe just take one or two sentences from his monologues that would relate to the post before. We keep on quoting each others post trying to somehow keep the theme or meaning of the previous post. I don't know if I have explained it properly? Once a string of quotes gets long enough we just start a new one.Thanks
That took about 20 seconds to read....Tangy did nothing wrong there. I really doubt this thread could ever pick up like the Python Thread because Carlin is monologuing, he isn't carrying on a back and forth conversation like in Python. You need to keep some of his paragraphs whole.
I never said he did anything wrong. I was just trying to explain the concept. It does not always have to follow that rule but I was just trying to explain what I meant. There is nothing wrong posting entire monologues/jokes like Tangy did. I was just telling Tangy this because I was sorta looking for someone to get the game started with me, if you will? I find it fun! Edited by snowdogged
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Why, why, why, why is it that most of the people who are against abortion are people you wouldn't want to f**k in the first place, huh? Boy, these conservatives are really something, aren't they? They're all in favor of the unborn. They will do anything for the unborn. But once you're born, you're on your own. Pro-life conservatives are obsessed with the fetus from conception to nine months. After that, they don't want to know about you. They don't want to hear from you. No nothing. No neonatal care, no day care, no head start, no school lunch, no food stamps,no welfare, no nothing. If you're preborn, you're fine; if you're preschool, you're f***ed.

That's good but the idea of the thread is to maybe just take one or two sentences from his monologues that would relate to the post before. We keep on quoting each others post trying to somehow keep the theme or meaning of the previous post. I don't know if I have explained it properly? Once a string of quotes gets long enough we just start a new one.

 

Thanks

That took about 20 seconds to read....

 

Tangy did nothing wrong there. I really doubt this thread could ever pick up like the Python Thread because Carlin is monologuing, he isn't carrying on a back and forth conversation like in Python. You need to keep some of his paragraphs whole.

I never said he did anything wrong. I was just trying to explain the concept. It does not always have to follow that rule but I was just trying to explain what I meant.

 

Its all good!

 

Best part is i proved the first quote to be true right off the bat!

 

Carlin rules!!!

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I will start it over:

 

 

 

 

Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that.

Ever notice how your things are stuff and other people’s stuff is shit?

You have no choice! You have OWNERS! They OWN YOU. They own everything. They own all the important land. They own and control the corporations.
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I will start it over:

 

 

 

 

Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that.

Ever notice how your things are stuff and other people’s stuff is shit?

You have no choice! You have OWNERS! They OWN YOU. They own everything. They own all the important land. They own and control the corporations.

The things that matter in this country have been reduced in choice, there are two political parties, there are a handful insurance companies, there are six or seven information centers, but if you want a bagel there are 23 flavors. Because you have the illusion of choice.

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I will start it over:

 

 

 

 

Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that.

Ever notice how your things are stuff and other people’s stuff is shit?

You have no choice! You have OWNERS! They OWN YOU. They own everything. They own all the important land. They own and control the corporations.

The things that matter in this country have been reduced in choice, there are two political parties, there are a handful insurance companies, there are six or seven information centers, but if you want a bagel there are 23 flavors. Because you have the illusion of choice.

When you're born you get a ticket to the freak show. When you're born in America, you get a front row seat.
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I will start it over:

 

 

 

 

Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that.

Ever notice how your things are stuff and other people’s stuff is shit?

You have no choice! You have OWNERS! They OWN YOU. They own everything. They own all the important land. They own and control the corporations.

The things that matter in this country have been reduced in choice, there are two political parties, there are a handful insurance companies, there are six or seven information centers, but if you want a bagel there are 23 flavors. Because you have the illusion of choice.

When you're born you get a ticket to the freak show. When you're born in America, you get a front row seat.

Here’s a bumper sticker I’d like to see: Proud parents of a child whose self-esteem is sufficient that he doesn’t need us promoting his minor scholastic achievements on the back of our car.
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I will start it over:

 

 

 

 

Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that.

Ever notice how your things are stuff and other people’s stuff is shit?

You have no choice! You have OWNERS! They OWN YOU. They own everything. They own all the important land. They own and control the corporations.

The things that matter in this country have been reduced in choice, there are two political parties, there are a handful insurance companies, there are six or seven information centers, but if you want a bagel there are 23 flavors. Because you have the illusion of choice.

When you're born you get a ticket to the freak show. When you're born in America, you get a front row seat.

Here’s a bumper sticker I’d like to see: Proud parents of a child whose self-esteem is sufficient that he doesn’t need us promoting his minor scholastic achievements on the back of our car.

Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?
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I will start it over:

 

 

 

 

Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that.

Ever notice how your things are stuff and other people’s stuff is shit?

You have no choice! You have OWNERS! They OWN YOU. They own everything. They own all the important land. They own and control the corporations.

The things that matter in this country have been reduced in choice, there are two political parties, there are a handful insurance companies, there are six or seven information centers, but if you want a bagel there are 23 flavors. Because you have the illusion of choice.

When you're born you get a ticket to the freak show. When you're born in America, you get a front row seat.

Here’s a bumper sticker I’d like to see: Proud parents of a child whose self-esteem is sufficient that he doesn’t need us promoting his minor scholastic achievements on the back of our car.

Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?

And "tits" doesn't even belong on the list, man! It's such a friendly sounding word! It sounds like a nickname! "Hey, Tits, come here, man! Tits meet Toots, Toots, meet Tits...."

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I will start it over:

 

 

 

 

Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that.

Ever notice how your things are stuff and other people’s stuff is shit?

You have no choice! You have OWNERS! They OWN YOU. They own everything. They own all the important land. They own and control the corporations.

The things that matter in this country have been reduced in choice, there are two political parties, there are a handful insurance companies, there are six or seven information centers, but if you want a bagel there are 23 flavors. Because you have the illusion of choice.

When you're born you get a ticket to the freak show. When you're born in America, you get a front row seat.

Here’s a bumper sticker I’d like to see: Proud parents of a child whose self-esteem is sufficient that he doesn’t need us promoting his minor scholastic achievements on the back of our car.

Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?

And "tits" doesn't even belong on the list, man! It's such a friendly sounding word! It sounds like a nickname! "Hey, Tits, come here, man! Tits meet Toots, Toots, meet Tits...."

There are women named Faith, Hope, Joy, and Prudence. Why not Despair, Guilt, Rage, and Grief? It seems only right. 'Tom, I'd like you to meet the girl of my dreams, Tragedy.'.
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I will start it over:

 

 

 

 

Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that.

Ever notice how your things are stuff and other people’s stuff is shit?

You have no choice! You have OWNERS! They OWN YOU. They own everything. They own all the important land. They own and control the corporations.

The things that matter in this country have been reduced in choice, there are two political parties, there are a handful insurance companies, there are six or seven information centers, but if you want a bagel there are 23 flavors. Because you have the illusion of choice.

When you're born you get a ticket to the freak show. When you're born in America, you get a front row seat.

Here’s a bumper sticker I’d like to see: Proud parents of a child whose self-esteem is sufficient that he doesn’t need us promoting his minor scholastic achievements on the back of our car.

Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?

And "tits" doesn't even belong on the list, man! It's such a friendly sounding word! It sounds like a nickname! "Hey, Tits, come here, man! Tits meet Toots, Toots, meet Tits...."

There are women named Faith, Hope, Joy, and Prudence. Why not Despair, Guilt, Rage, and Grief? It seems only right. 'Tom, I'd like you to meet the girl of my dreams, Tragedy.'.

John Pigman could belch at will. We could all do the old fraternity belch, but John was an artist, man. He could talk while he was belching....[with belching sound] How do you do! Son of a bitch...!

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I will start it over:

 

 

 

 

Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that.

Ever notice how your things are stuff and other people’s stuff is shit?

You have no choice! You have OWNERS! They OWN YOU. They own everything. They own all the important land. They own and control the corporations.

The things that matter in this country have been reduced in choice, there are two political parties, there are a handful insurance companies, there are six or seven information centers, but if you want a bagel there are 23 flavors. Because you have the illusion of choice.

When you're born you get a ticket to the freak show. When you're born in America, you get a front row seat.

Here’s a bumper sticker I’d like to see: Proud parents of a child whose self-esteem is sufficient that he doesn’t need us promoting his minor scholastic achievements on the back of our car.

Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?

And "tits" doesn't even belong on the list, man! It's such a friendly sounding word! It sounds like a nickname! "Hey, Tits, come here, man! Tits meet Toots, Toots, meet Tits...."

There are women named Faith, Hope, Joy, and Prudence. Why not Despair, Guilt, Rage, and Grief? It seems only right. 'Tom, I'd like you to meet the girl of my dreams, Tragedy.'.

John Pigman could belch at will. We could all do the old fraternity belch, but John was an artist, man. He could talk while he was belching....[with belching sound] How do you do! Son of a bitch...!

Farts are fun! Farts are shit without the mess! Edited by snowdogged
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