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Stupid Star Wars Crap We Never Want to See Again


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#1 toymaker

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Posted 15 January 2018 - 01:34 AM

My list, for starters:

Pit droids
Belching CGI frogs
Gungans or any "whimsical" characters
Things that look like dinosaurs
"Diners" with roller-skating waitresses
R2 units with jet packs
Pod races
Picnics in meadows surrounded by alien hippopotomi
Darth Vader before he became Darth Vader
Yoda with a lightsabre

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#2 vaportrailer

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Posted 15 January 2018 - 01:57 AM

Anything named Dooku
Christmas Specials or variety show appearances (anyone remember seeing them on the old Donny and Marie Show? yikes!)
Wooden acting
Wooden dialogue
Updated Cantina scenes with terrible music and lame aliens
Li'l Anakin, or Li'l Anyone
Han Solo getting killed by a douche, and Chewie not exacting immediate and brutal Wookie revenge on said douche.




#3 Day of Light

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Posted 15 January 2018 - 02:07 AM

dragging an unconscious person for miles right in front of enemy line of fire and managing to do so in like 2 minutes

#4 JohnnyBlaze

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Posted 15 January 2018 - 02:49 AM

View Postvaportrailer, on 15 January 2018 - 01:57 AM, said:

Li'l Anakin, or Li'l Anyone
Han Solo getting killed by a douche, and Chewie not exacting immediate and brutal Wookie revenge on said douche.

I will exact bounty hunter-like violence if anyone remotely resembling ‘Lil Anakin shows up!

Han & Chewy needed to die together (Han shouldn't have died at all) at the helm of the Falcon as they steer ‘er head on into the central core of Death Star number four or five or whatever the hell one they're on! 2 free throws sunk as time regulation expires. Resistance loses two franchise players despite the victory.

Resistance 99, First Order 98

Coach Kylo has a tantrum on the bench as his team loses yet again. He was last seen beating the shit out of his playbook while storming out of the arena shirtless.

Edited by JohnnyBlaze, 15 January 2018 - 02:59 AM.


#5 toymaker

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Posted 15 January 2018 - 02:54 AM

I don't want to see and hear another little kid going "whoo-hooo!"  Actually, I don't want to see anyone doing that.

#6 JohnnyBlaze

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Posted 15 January 2018 - 02:58 AM

View Posttoymaker, on 15 January 2018 - 02:54 AM, said:

I don't want to see and hear another little kid going "whoo-hooo!"  Actually, I don't want to see anyone doing that.

Even hearing that little bastard say “Sebulba” pissed me off!

#7 YYZumbi

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Posted 15 January 2018 - 07:20 AM

I don´t want to see any more Disney Star Wars....

#8 JohnnyBlaze

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Posted 15 January 2018 - 08:23 AM

View PostYYZumbi, on 15 January 2018 - 07:20 AM, said:

I don´t want to see any more Disney Star Wars....

How about 20th Century Fox Star Wars? They not only did the original trilogy but also the prequels.

#9 Wil1972

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Posted 15 January 2018 - 08:42 AM

Puppet bands

Naboo

Clones

Flying space princesses

Angsty Jedi masters

Milking animals

#10 Jack Aubrey

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Posted 15 January 2018 - 08:51 AM

May I throw in a coupla mentions of Star Wars stuff I'd like to see?

More movies like Rogue One and possibly a prequel about Chirrut I-Can't-Spell-His-Last-Name.

#11 JohnnyBlaze

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Posted 15 January 2018 - 09:49 AM

View PostJack Aubrey, on 15 January 2018 - 08:51 AM, said:

May I throw in a coupla mentions of Star Wars stuff I'd like to see?

More movies like Rogue One and possibly a prequel about Chirrut I-Can't-Spell-His-Last-Name.

I liked that character but I wouldn’t want a prequel for him.

IF any of the Rogue One characters were to have a prequel I’d go with Saw Gerrera. Forest Whitaker is high quality to boot. Additionally, Saw’s got a direct connection to Obi Wan so there’s that. IF an Obi Wan spin-off happens and is between the Revenge of the Sith and Rogue One years, I can imagine Saw appearing.

#12 toymaker

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Posted 15 January 2018 - 10:15 AM

View PostWil1972, on 15 January 2018 - 08:42 AM, said:

Puppet bands

Naboo

Clones

Flying space princesses

Angsty Jedi masters

Milking animals

f**k, yeah, I forgot about the goddamned clones.  I'm okay with the last three, though.

Leia in space:  it didn't bug me much in Guardians of the Galaxy, so it doesn't really bug me here.  The force is this galaxy's version of "magic," after all
Luke as "angsty":  kind of a cool character development I didn't really see coming, plus Hamill played it really well - he's frickin' great at showing emotion with his peepers
Milking animals:  I saw it as Luke making a deliberate effort to gross out Rey and make her go away - even dribbling milk down into his beard and giving her that sort of drunken leer

Having said all that, I'm fine with not seeing those scenes repeated, however.

Edited by toymaker, 15 January 2018 - 10:16 AM.


#13 HemiBeers

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Posted 15 January 2018 - 10:20 AM

View PostYYZumbi, on 15 January 2018 - 07:20 AM, said:

I don´t want to see any more Disney Star Wars....
Not into Star Wars or Star Trek movies. Never saw the original Star Wars. If it's that hyped and that well known...I don't see the point in watching it if I have the gist of the plot already.

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#14 JohnnyBlaze

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Posted 15 January 2018 - 10:21 AM

View PostWil1972, on 15 January 2018 - 08:42 AM, said:

Naboo

Clones

Flying space princesses


In regards to these three in order...



#15 Jack Aubrey

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Posted 15 January 2018 - 10:50 AM

View PostJohnnyBlaze, on 15 January 2018 - 09:49 AM, said:

View PostJack Aubrey, on 15 January 2018 - 08:51 AM, said:

May I throw in a coupla mentions of Star Wars stuff I'd like to see?

More movies like Rogue One and possibly a prequel about Chirrut I-Can't-Spell-His-Last-Name.

I liked that character but I wouldn’t want a prequel for him.

IF any of the Rogue One characters were to have a prequel I’d go with Saw Gerrera. Forest Whitaker is high quality to boot. Additionally, Saw’s got a direct connection to Obi Wan so there’s that. IF an Obi Wan spin-off happens and is between the Revenge of the Sith and Rogue One years, I can imagine Saw appearing.

Gotta disagree with you, Bro. The guy who played Chirrut stole every scene he was in. Whitaker, while I could see where he was trying to go with the character, came across as weird. And the voice he used was grating.

#16 toymaker

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Posted 15 January 2018 - 10:58 AM

View PostJack Aubrey, on 15 January 2018 - 10:50 AM, said:

View PostJohnnyBlaze, on 15 January 2018 - 09:49 AM, said:

View PostJack Aubrey, on 15 January 2018 - 08:51 AM, said:

May I throw in a coupla mentions of Star Wars stuff I'd like to see?

More movies like Rogue One and possibly a prequel about Chirrut I-Can't-Spell-His-Last-Name.

I liked that character but I wouldn’t want a prequel for him.

IF any of the Rogue One characters were to have a prequel I’d go with Saw Gerrera. Forest Whitaker is high quality to boot. Additionally, Saw’s got a direct connection to Obi Wan so there’s that. IF an Obi Wan spin-off happens and is between the Revenge of the Sith and Rogue One years, I can imagine Saw appearing.

Gotta disagree with you, Bro. The guy who played Chirrut stole every scene he was in. Whitaker, while I could see where he was trying to go with the character, came across as weird. And the voice he used was grating.

Yeah, although I was waiting for someone to say shaddap when he kept repeating "I am one with the force; the force is one with me; I am one with the force; the force is one with me"

#17 goose

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Posted 15 January 2018 - 11:29 AM

Further expansion of the power to use the Force.  Enough already.

#18 JohnnyBlaze

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Posted 15 January 2018 - 11:30 AM

View PostJack Aubrey, on 15 January 2018 - 10:50 AM, said:

View PostJohnnyBlaze, on 15 January 2018 - 09:49 AM, said:

View PostJack Aubrey, on 15 January 2018 - 08:51 AM, said:

May I throw in a coupla mentions of Star Wars stuff I'd like to see?

More movies like Rogue One and possibly a prequel about Chirrut I-Can't-Spell-His-Last-Name.

I liked that character but I wouldn’t want a prequel for him.

IF any of the Rogue One characters were to have a prequel I’d go with Saw Gerrera. Forest Whitaker is high quality to boot. Additionally, Saw’s got a direct connection to Obi Wan so there’s that. IF an Obi Wan spin-off happens and is between the Revenge of the Sith and Rogue One years, I can imagine Saw appearing.

Gotta disagree with you, Bro. The guy who played Chirrut stole every scene he was in. Whitaker, while I could see where he was trying to go with the character, came across as weird. And the voice he used was grating.

What’s to disagree with? I only said what I’d want and wouldn’t want IF they did a Rogue One character film. “I” being the key word.
I don’t want any of them done, not even Forest as Saw.

#19 toymaker

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Posted 15 January 2018 - 11:58 AM

View PostJohnnyBlaze, on 15 January 2018 - 11:30 AM, said:

View PostJack Aubrey, on 15 January 2018 - 10:50 AM, said:

View PostJohnnyBlaze, on 15 January 2018 - 09:49 AM, said:

View PostJack Aubrey, on 15 January 2018 - 08:51 AM, said:

May I throw in a coupla mentions of Star Wars stuff I'd like to see?

More movies like Rogue One and possibly a prequel about Chirrut I-Can't-Spell-His-Last-Name.

I liked that character but I wouldn’t want a prequel for him.

IF any of the Rogue One characters were to have a prequel I’d go with Saw Gerrera. Forest Whitaker is high quality to boot. Additionally, Saw’s got a direct connection to Obi Wan so there’s that. IF an Obi Wan spin-off happens and is between the Revenge of the Sith and Rogue One years, I can imagine Saw appearing.

Gotta disagree with you, Bro. The guy who played Chirrut stole every scene he was in. Whitaker, while I could see where he was trying to go with the character, came across as weird. And the voice he used was grating.

What’s to disagree with? I only said what I’d want and wouldn’t want IF they did a Rogue One character film. “I” being the key word.
I don’t want any of them done, not even Forest as Saw.

Weird - as soon as I read that, The Trees started playing in my head.

#20 Principled Man

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Posted 15 January 2018 - 11:58 AM

View Postgoose, on 15 January 2018 - 11:29 AM, said:

Further expansion of the power to use the Force.  Enough already.

I find your lack of faith disturbing..... ;)

But seriously, isn't that what many of us wanted to see in the new Trilogy?  Luke Skywalker becoming a super-great Jedi Master, who would blow us away with near god-like powers?  To be honest, he did become like that, but not in the way that we expected.




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