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I WROTE A RUSH-BASED MUSICAL


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#41 oghond2112

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Posted 28 October 2017 - 09:53 PM

View Postvitalsigns318, on 28 October 2017 - 10:45 AM, said:

This is an awesome idea, my husband and I are thinking along the same lines for creating a screenplay for our concept album. If you work consistently I am sure that the screenplay develop naturally and details will unveil themselves. It helps to separate your scenes and write dialog for your characters in a storyboard fashion. I am sure that you will complete your project and in today's technologically advanced world, it will come to fruition far sooner than you expect. Just make sure to copyright your script when it is complete. Good luck and happy creating!!

Thank you! I'm on Act Two- I started the script a year ago and took a break from it, but then this September I picked back up with it. The scenes are seperate.

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#42 Babycat

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Posted 29 October 2017 - 03:27 AM

Welcome to TRF, oghond2112!  :hi:

#43 oghond2112

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Posted 29 October 2017 - 06:55 PM

View PostBabycat, on 29 October 2017 - 03:27 AM, said:

Welcome to TRF, oghond2112!  :hi:

Thank you!

#44 oghond2112

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Posted 13 November 2017 - 10:20 PM

I've been making edits to the script for the show, since it's EXTREMELY long, and I've been thinking about putting in "The Body Electric" as a number for Barchy as he is driving away from the (unseen) monarchy after "Tom Sawyer" happens. However, I don't want the addition of this number to cause the script to be TOO long, since the scene it takes place in is basically the song and nothing else.

What do you think I should do?

#45 blueschica

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Posted 13 November 2017 - 11:15 PM

View Postoghond2112, on 13 November 2017 - 10:20 PM, said:

I've been making edits to the script for the show, since it's EXTREMELY long, and I've been thinking about putting in "The Body Electric" as a number for Barchy as he is driving away from the (unseen) monarchy after "Tom Sawyer" happens. However, I don't want the addition of this number to cause the script to be TOO long, since the scene it takes place in is basically the song and nothing else.

What do you think I should do?
I think the process of editing for length or time is beneficial because it makes your writing more focused or direct. Not sure about The Body Electric, I will have to think about that.

#46 oghond2112

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Posted 14 November 2017 - 01:06 PM

The good news is: I shortened the second scene of Act 1, which had previously been over 21 minutes long, to just 12. (Hee-hee... but it's true!)
The bad news: Scenes 9 and 10, which take place in the New World of the Peacilion, are EXTREMELY long, because in those two scenes alone:
• Thomas meets Marcia
• Thomas is crowned the third man of the Peacilion
• "New World Man" occurs
• We learn about the 5 discovered alien races of the Solar Federation- the Geerps, Yammers, Syrinx (AKA the canonical race in 2112), By-Tors, and the BNKs- and their weaknesses- respectively: lightning, fire, war (guess why), ice (guess why), and- while not known at the time- interdimensional music or creativity of any kind
• "The Spirit of Radio" occurs
• Thomas, Barchy and Marcia leave and return to America

I would like to find some kind of way to shorten these scenes, but every one of these things has some sort of importance to the plot. However, that would mean that the full script for Act 1, when read, would probably be over 1 hour and 30 minutes long- I recorded the total time of the first four scenes alone, and it was about 35 minutes. Should I shorten either of these songs? I know other jukebox musicals have done the same thing...

If I shorten Act One enough to about 60 minutes long, "The Body Electric" will go into the show. But if not, then it probably won't. And considering how long Scene 7, the scene where Barchy reveals his android heritage and the scene "Fly By Night" occurs in, is, it probably won't make it.

Edited by oghond2112, 14 November 2017 - 08:01 PM.


#47 oghond2112

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Posted 14 November 2017 - 09:34 PM

I finally have it figured out, and it will involve a HUGE script change: "Afterimage"- and its scene- will be completely removed. Period. Barchy will no longer "die" in a car crash. Instead, "Tom Sawyer" will happen, then Thomas will go to Barchy's farm to tell him the news of the alien invasion, during which Barchy's android hard drive will inadvertently go off. Barchy will then "die" in front of Thomas' face, all the while revealing his secret of his android heritage to him in "The Body Electric." Once Barchy's hard drive controls his Barchetta, he will explain more about his android heritage to a stunned Thomas, who will finish telling him that aliens have invaded Hilltop. Cue the Boston Tea Party operation beginning, "Fly By Night," and the rest of the show.

In other words:
- "Tom Sawyer" will now follow "Limelight"
- Scenes 4 and 7 of the original draft will be combined into one scene, Scene 5, which will contain two songs: "The Body Electric" and "Fly By Night"
- There will now be 9 scenes in Act 1 instead of 11
- Hopefully this will shorten the script

Any thoughts on this change?

#48 oghond2112

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Posted 14 November 2017 - 09:43 PM

For anyone new who is seeing this thread, if you are unfamiliar with the basic plot, please look at the first post I made in this thread. Thank you!

#49 oghond2112

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Posted 15 November 2017 - 08:07 PM

GREAT NEWS!!! IT WORKED!!! I just recorded Act 1 of FI2112, and it clocked in at 1hr and 21 minutes. A bit longer than most Broadway first acts (who mainly maximize at around 1hr 15 minutes), but still long enough for Broadway.

#50 oghond2112

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Posted 22 November 2017 - 07:36 PM

The script has been completed! Total runtime: 2hr 50min, or about the same time as Fiddler on the Roof.

#51 oghond2112

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Posted 24 November 2017 - 11:36 AM

FINAL PLOT (SPOILERS AHEAD!!!):

Act One:
In the year 2112, Benjamin “Barchy” Genalsikoff, an android Barchetta, explains the tradition-holding ways of the town of Hilltop, and how everyone must play their part in society (“Closer to the Heart”). His nephew, Thomas, is also a Genalsikoff, a name which means “rebelling against tradition.” Thomas is looked down upon by his family due to his ways. He is seen by many as a working peasant (“Working Man”), but each Sunday rebels against the Motor Law. One Sunday, he meets Barchy’s two other nephews, and tells them the story of his previous ride through town (“Red Barchetta”). Unfortunately, he is caught by his strict parents, Samuel and Amanda Genalsikoff, who scold him. Despite Barchy’s protests, Thomas is forbidden from ever visiting his uncle’s farm again, and is sent back home.

At home, Thomas is expected to carry on the family tradition of being a plowsman, but Thomas dreams instead of a greater life where no one is blinded by tradition in the same way that an actor is blinded by fame ("Limelight"). He runs away to go back to Barchy’s farm, only to find that Hilltop has been visited by strange space leaders, led by the arrogant KOKGNAB. Proclaiming themselves to be the modern-day “Tom Sawyer,” they announce that they will rule tyrannically over Hilltop, and Thomas is scared for his life. Needing to find his way out, he leaves for the one place where he can be comfortable: Barchy’s farm. There, he is shocked to see Barchy’s human form get vaporized in front of him.

Stunned by this, Thomas asks Barchy what is going on. Barchy explains to Thomas that he never was a human at all; he is actually an android from the past naked B-CYGNUS-68 who somehow managed to survive, and kept his secret after being forced to do so by the monarchy, who he is on the run from (“The Body Electric”). Shortly after this, he takes on the form of his own Barchetta, in effect making him an android car. The news shocks Thomas, but he affirms that he still loves Barchy and will fight for freewill. Because Barchy is an android, he has a hard drive stored in his car that contains directions to new dimensions. The two manage to drive far away from Hilltop (“Fly By Night”) and into a place that they have never seen before: a place they call the New World of the Peacilion.

Meanwhile, in Hilltop, Thomas’ parents are worried about their sons’ whereabouts, but are unable to search for their son due to them being used as slaves by KOKGNAB. In the New World, Thomas meets a young girl named Marcia, who is a skilled alien fighter, revealing that the aliens that have enslaved Hilltop are part of the Solar Federation, a group of five planets, each with their own alien race: the Geerps, the Yammers, the Syrinx, the By-Tors, and a mysterious fifth alien race. She invites Thomas and Barchy to the selection of the "Third Man of the Peacilion," to which they both agree. When Barchy explains Thomas’ story, the citizens of the New World hail him (“New World Man”) and plan to hold a festival in his honor. The festival is filled with music, and Thomas explains that while he does rebel against the rules, he’s always followed the tradition of never listening to music. Barchy explains to him “The Spirit of the Radio,” and Thomas finds music enjoyable. Marcia is attracted to Thomas’ rebellious nature, and decides to follow him back to Hilltop, where KOKGNAB and the aliens have assumed full control ("Grand Finale-2112").

Act Two
Under the control of KOKGNAB, the slaves express their dislike and helplessness towards the situation they are in (“Red Sector A”). In Hilltop, Thomas and Barchy are shocked to find everyone enslaved by the aliens. Thomas’ parents see him and beg for help. Upon seeing Barchy, they are in shock, and Thomas promptly reveals Barchy's secret to his parents. This shocks and angers Samuel, who feels as though he was fooled. Despite Barchy and Thomas' protests, Samuel disowns his brother for being "a product against the Motor Law" and tells Thomas that he doesn't deserve to love him the way he does.

Saddened, Thomas runs off and explains to a concerned Marcia his complicated relationship with his father, with Marcia sympathizing with him. Thomas then contacts the citizens of the New World, who unfortunately have not been able to identify the alien race yet. The end of the call contains screams of anguish, confusing Thomas and Barchy. Marcia then explains that half of the population of the New World is under the control of an alien monarchy from a Solar Federation subsidiary. Shocked by this, Thomas and Barchy vow to fight for the New World by defeating KOKGNAB. Left alone, Marcia expresses her desire to end the world of oppressive monarchies (“A Farewell to Kings”).

Thomas, Barchy and Marcia leave Barchy’s farm and are shocked to find Samuel and Amanda doing slave work under KOKGNAB’s control. Seeing how the town of Hilltop is unable to escape from the command of the space leaders due to their traditions, Thomas tries to get his family to rebel (“Something For Nothing”). However, it is in vain, and the family berates him. Unfortunately, this angers KOKGNAB, who decides to go on a killing spree. An epic chase scene between Barchy and KOKGNAB occurs (“Marathon”), but in the end, Barchy is captured and enslaved, to both Thomas and Marcia’s shock.

Finally deciding he has had enough of KOKGNAB, Thomas berates him for enslaving his family, and then inadvertently plays the opening code of “YYZ.” To Thomas’ shock, it decreases the energy of KOKGNAB and frees Barchy, and Thomas realizes that music is supposedly the race's weakness. Barchy and Thomas manage to escape and travel back to the New World after they report this information to the mayor and citizens of the New World. In the New World, Barchy, Thomas and Marcia recieve news from the mayor that the alien race that has invaded Hilltop has been identified as the BNK race, a tyrannical dictatorship from space and the fifth alien race of the Solar Federation that had previously been unknown about. Realizing the danger his family and the citizens of Hilltop are in, Thomas and the others go back to Hilltop (“Fly By Night (reprise)”) and prepare to fight the BNK aliens to defeat them once and for all.

Meanwhile, Amanda begins considering Thomas’ words to her earlier, much to Samuel’s dismay, as he insists on following the Motor Law. Finally having had enough of both the Motor Law and her husband, Amanda stands up to Samuel, asking him if he was right to disown Barchy and follow the law all the time, finally causing Samuel to consider his wife’s position and break down in regret (“The Pass”). Right as Samuel is starting to have second thoughts, KOKGNAB appears- soon followed by Thomas, Barchy, Marcia, and the New World Army. An epic fight scene occurs, in which everybody is freed to the tune of “YYZ” and Thomas is reunited with his regretful parents. In a final stand, Thomas gets the town together and demand they rebel against the authorities. The town states that they can’t, because as horrible as the alien race is, they must follow tradition.

At that moment, Barchy intervenes and reminds them that they live in America. He then proceeds to read an excerpt from the Declaration of Independence (which has been deemed unholy) and finally unlocks something in the town they never knew they had: “Freewill.” Together, the town decides to defeat the alien race and rebel against the authority. The citizens of Hilltop go to confront KOKGNAB, and in the process it is discovered that the true weakness of the BNK race is an expression of freewill of any kind. By using the power of music (“Anthem”), the BNK race is finally defeated, and the town celebrates their newfound sense of freewill. Over the course of six months, the mayor and citizens of the New World return to their dimension, before invading and defeating the Syrinx race, thereby making the Solar Federation defunct. America once again becomes a democracy, Thomas and Marcia begin dating, Samuel is elected president, and Barchy no longer has to put up a masquerade to the world. With America restored to its former glory, the characters alert the audience that in order to get freedom, they need to fight for it (“Finale: Something for Nothing (reprise)”).

Total runtime: 2hrs, 50min.

Edited by oghond2112, 24 November 2017 - 11:44 AM.


#52 Lucas

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Posted 24 November 2017 - 02:50 PM

I love it !!

oghond2112, you are a one of a kind, and this forum is lucky to have you as a member .. This work is fascinating and very well done - you have every reason to be proud

#53 oghond2112

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Posted 24 November 2017 - 02:57 PM

View PostLucas, on 24 November 2017 - 02:50 PM, said:

I love it !!

oghond2112, you are a one of a kind, and this forum is lucky to have you as a member .. This work is fascinating and very well done - you have every reason to be proud

Thank you!!!

You know, if this doesn't get made into a musical, I'd love to see it get made into a novel. And have Neil Peart read the audiobook!

Speaking of which, if the musical/novel IS made/copyrighted... what do you think Rush's reaction would be?

#54 oghond2112

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Posted 24 November 2017 - 03:00 PM

View Postoghond2112, on 24 November 2017 - 02:57 PM, said:

View PostLucas, on 24 November 2017 - 02:50 PM, said:

I love it !!

oghond2112, you are a one of a kind, and this forum is lucky to have you as a member .. This work is fascinating and very well done - you have every reason to be proud

Thank you!!!

You know, if this doesn't get made into a musical, I'd love to see it get made into a novel. And have Neil Peart read the audiobook!

Speaking of which, if the musical/novel IS made/copyrighted... what do you think Rush's reaction would be?

Also, I would get KJA to write it :)

#55 Lucas

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Posted 24 November 2017 - 03:11 PM

View Postoghond2112, on 24 November 2017 - 02:57 PM, said:

View PostLucas, on 24 November 2017 - 02:50 PM, said:

I love it !!

oghond2112, you are a one of a kind, and this forum is lucky to have you as a member .. This work is fascinating and very well done - you have every reason to be proud

Thank you!!!

You know, if this doesn't get made into a musical, I'd love to see it get made into a novel. And have Neil Peart read the audiobook!

Speaking of which, if the musical/novel IS made/copyrighted... what do you think Rush's reaction would be?

Geddy: Hey Lerxst, are you thinking what I'm thinking ?

Alex: yeah, Ged, this is really good

Geddy: yes, it is .. but I'm also thinking ...

Alex interrupts

Alex: what, "I wonder if she plays drums too"

:lol:


Neil .. thinking to himself : damn, I haven't written anything this interesting in years

#56 oghond2112

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Posted 24 November 2017 - 03:20 PM

View PostLucas, on 24 November 2017 - 03:11 PM, said:

View Postoghond2112, on 24 November 2017 - 02:57 PM, said:

View PostLucas, on 24 November 2017 - 02:50 PM, said:

I love it !!

oghond2112, you are a one of a kind, and this forum is lucky to have you as a member .. This work is fascinating and very well done - you have every reason to be proud

Thank you!!!

You know, if this doesn't get made into a musical, I'd love to see it get made into a novel. And have Neil Peart read the audiobook!

Speaking of which, if the musical/novel IS made/copyrighted... what do you think Rush's reaction would be?

Geddy: Hey Lerxst, are you thinking what I'm thinking ?

Alex: yeah, Ged, this is really good

Geddy: yes, it is .. but I'm also thinking ...

Alex interrupts

Alex: what, "I wonder if she plays drums too"

:lol:


Neil .. thinking to himself : damn, I haven't written anything this interesting in years

:lol:

#57 Babycat

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Posted 25 November 2017 - 04:33 PM

Absolutely brilliant - well thought out!  :D

#58 oghond2112

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Posted 25 November 2017 - 04:44 PM

View PostBabycat, on 25 November 2017 - 04:33 PM, said:

Absolutely brilliant - well thought out!  :D

Thanks!

By the way, I got an E-book copy of 2113, read the title story, and got information that is COMPLETELY CONTRARY to what is said in the show. Here's the thing (2113 SPOILERS!!)

According to Rush: We don't know where the Solar Federation is
According to Kevin J. Anderson: The Solar Federation is in our Solar System (which is why the Syrinx have all that technology)
According to Freewill in 2112: The Solar Federation is in another galaxy a few light-years away from the Milky Way and the Syrinx have all that technology because they came to Earth, stole it, and remade it in their fashion

We have no idea who is right because the liner notes for 2112 are open to interpretation. One thing that IS the same, though?

(2113 SPOILER ALERT!!!)  

The Syrinx were invaded, made peace with the Elder Race (New Worlders) before getting killed (in FI2112, at least), and Father Brown, leader of the Syrinx, fleed the scene and became the Watchmaker in Clockwork Angels.

How do you think RUSH would react to this musical, by the way?

Edited by oghond2112, 25 November 2017 - 05:04 PM.


#59 Babycat

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Posted 25 November 2017 - 05:13 PM

View Postoghond2112, on 25 November 2017 - 04:44 PM, said:

View PostBabycat, on 25 November 2017 - 04:33 PM, said:

Absolutely brilliant - well thought out!  :D

Thanks!

By the way, I got an E-book copy of 2113, read the title story, and got information that is COMPLETELY CONTRARY to what is said in the show. Here's the thing (2113 SPOILERS!!)

According to Rush: We don't know where the Solar Federation is
According to Kevin J. Anderson: The Solar Federation is in our Solar System (which is why the Syrinx have all that technology)
According to Freewill in 2112: The Solar Federation is in another galaxy a few light-years away from the Milky Way and the Syrinx have all that technology because they came to Earth, stole it, and remade it in their fashion

We have no idea who is right because the liner notes for 2112 are open to interpretation. One thing that IS the same, though?

(2113 SPOILER ALERT!!!)  

The Syrinx were invaded, made peace with the Elder Race (New Worlders) before getting killed (in FI2112, at least), and Father Brown, leader of the Syrinx, fleed the scene and became the Watchmaker in Clockwork Angels.

How do you think RUSH would react to this musical, by the way?

I think I'm going to have to download the book too.

#60 oghond2112

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Posted 25 November 2017 - 05:15 PM

View PostBabycat, on 25 November 2017 - 05:13 PM, said:

View Postoghond2112, on 25 November 2017 - 04:44 PM, said:

View PostBabycat, on 25 November 2017 - 04:33 PM, said:

Absolutely brilliant - well thought out!  :D

Thanks!

By the way, I got an E-book copy of 2113, read the title story, and got information that is COMPLETELY CONTRARY to what is said in the show. Here's the thing (2113 SPOILERS!!)

According to Rush: We don't know where the Solar Federation is
According to Kevin J. Anderson: The Solar Federation is in our Solar System (which is why the Syrinx have all that technology)
According to Freewill in 2112: The Solar Federation is in another galaxy a few light-years away from the Milky Way and the Syrinx have all that technology because they came to Earth, stole it, and remade it in their fashion

We have no idea who is right because the liner notes for 2112 are open to interpretation. One thing that IS the same, though?

(2113 SPOILER ALERT!!!)  

The Syrinx were invaded, made peace with the Elder Race (New Worlders) before getting killed (in FI2112, at least), and Father Brown, leader of the Syrinx, fleed the scene and became the Watchmaker in Clockwork Angels.

How do you think RUSH would react to this musical, by the way?

I think I'm going to have to download the book too.

It's AWESOME!!

Any thoughts on Rush's possible reaction to Freewill in 2112?




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