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Gene Simmons will deliver his new box set to your home for $50,000!


treeduck
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...and you can spend 2 hours with him!

 

 

Gene Simmons's long-promised box set of previously unreleased solo material, which has apparently had several different working titles over the years — including "Monster" (later used by KISS for the band's most recent studio album), "Alter Ego" and "100" — has finally been made available.

 

Titled "The Vault", the collection of one hundred and fifty "never-released-before songs written and performed by Simmons," which features "notable rock 'n' roll artists, including member of KISS past and present," is being sold exclusively online.

 

Fans who order "The Vault" have the option to have the box set delivered to them personally by Simmons in one of three ways.

 

* $2,000 will get you an invite to one of twenty-one "Vault Experience" events across the world, where you will pick up a copy the personalized and autographed box set — packaged in a massive 12" x 12" x 6" leather-bound commemorative book featuring dozens of never-seen-before images of Simmons over his fifty-year career — and take part in a "songs-and-stories" playback and question-and-answer session. In addition, you will be granted one-on-one photo, autograph and video time with Simmons.

 

* $25,000 will get you an invite to one of eleven "Producer Experience" events, which include all the "Vault Exerience" items above plus "an intimate hour in a recording studio with Gene listening to tracks from 'The Vault'" and an executive producer's credit on the set itself.

 

* Fans who spend $50,000 will have Simmons deliver all the above-mentioned items right to their homes, where they and up to twenty-five of their friends can spend two hours with the KISS legend.

 

Among the songs expected to be featured on "The Vault" are Simmons's "Love Gun"-era demos featuring Eddie and Alex Van Halen.

 

"Any artist can release a boxed set, and never really thank the fans for their support," said Simmons. "I want to celebrate my fiftieth anniversary in rock with the fans, and I have had a blast putting something really special together for them. 'Gene Simmons: The Vault Experience' gives fans something truly unique that they can keep forever, and it gives me a chance to personally thank them for all of their support over the years."

 

"What Gene and Rhino have put together with 'The Vault Experience' is truly unprecedented. We have taken the idea of a boxed set to a completely different level," said Mark Pinkus, president of Rhino Entertainment. "As a card-carrying member of the KISS Army from a young age, I'm honored to be working with Gene on such an exciting and innovative project. His fans are going to be absolutely blown away by 'The Vault Experience'."

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hmmm $50k for 25 friends...that's $2k a friend. Not totally unreasonable.

 

I'll round up some Kiss fans with some extra dough and we'll gather for Gene in a $500 meth lab trailer.

 

* gene checks his watch every minute for the next two hours *

 

actually it might be more entertaining to be alone in silence with Gene for 2 hours.

Edited by HemiBeers
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For $100,000 Gene will personally perform tongue extension surgery on the customer's tongue so that it will be equal in length to Simmons'.

 

Gene was quoted as saying, "I'm no surgeon but I've always been willing to get my hands bloody and dirty for the fans. Now, I'm quite literally making good on this promise."

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I would be happy to part with a few dollars to have Shannon Tweed visit for 2 hours.

:)

 

shannon-tweed.jpg

After Gene's been there about a million times? Ugh no way. :facepalm:

hey every chick has their intimate resume. nom sayyyn?
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hmmm $50k for 25 friends...that's $2k a friend. Not totally unreasonable.

 

I'll round up some Kiss fans with some extra dough and we'll gather for Gene in a $500 meth lab trailer.

 

* gene checks his watch every minute for the next two hours *

 

actually it might be more entertaining to be alone in silence with Gene for 2 hours.

 

Of course it's unreasonable as he'd just be delivering a box then answering some fan questions for two hours.

 

That'd be like paying the FedEx guy 50 thou then interrogating him for two hours in your living room.

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At some point, Gene will begin taking orders for his VIP death packages.

 

Bronze - Front-row seat at Gene's funeral ($100,000)

 

Silver - Bronze PLUS a personal photo with Gene's open casket ($500,000)

 

Gold - Silver PLUS Gene's corpse in your car for a Bernie style afternoon ($1,000,000)

 

Platinum - Gold PLUS Gene's corpse gets buried in YOUR back yard (fine print - only until you die, then it's excavated) ($100,000,000)

 

Superfan (limit 1) - Platinum PLUS.........what else? You get buried WITH Gene in your back yard ($100,000,000,000,000,000,000)

 

 

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At some point, Gene will begin taking orders for his VIP death packages.

 

Bronze - Front-row seat at Gene's funeral ($100,000)

 

Silver - Bronze PLUS a personal photo with Gene's open casket ($500,000)

 

Gold - Silver PLUS Gene's corpse in your car for a Bernie style afternoon ($1,000,000)

 

Platinum - Gold PLUS Gene's corpse gets buried in YOUR back yard (fine print - only until you die, then it's excavated) ($100,000,000)

 

Superfan (limit 1) - Platinum PLUS.........what else? You get buried WITH Gene in your back yard ($100,000,000,000,000,000,000)

 

LOL!

 

 

EPIC POST!!!!

 

This whole thing is fuckking insane.

 

Typical Gene.

 

When will Paul do it next???

 

I would rather give my 50K to ACE!

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