physics23 Posted September 23, 2005 Share Posted September 23, 2005 Over the last few weeks my life has been changing dramatically. My roommates have all vacated the apartment for the summer, and in their absence my girlfriend has moved in. This is the first time for me that I'm actually living with a woman I'm dating - but I've already identified several serious problems with the arrangement. The rest of this post will likely come off sounding cynical or whiney, but I'll appreciate advice from guys or girls on my developing situation. In a Seinfeld episode called "The Engagement" Kramer and Jerry have this conversation in the latter's apartment: QUOTE Jerry: I had a very interesting lunch with George Costanza today. Kramer: Really? Jerry: We were talking about our lives and we both kind of realized we're kids. We're not men. Kramer: So, then you asked yourselves, "Isn't there something more to life?" Jerry: Yes. We did. Kramer: Yeah, well, let me clue you in on something. There isn't. Jerry: There isn't? Kramer: Absolutely not. I mean, what are you thinking about, Jerry? Marriage? Family? Jerry: Well... Kramer: They're prisons. Man made prisons. You're doing time! You get up in the morning -- she's there. You go to sleep at night -- she's there. It's like you gotta ask permission to use the bathroom. Is it all right if I use the bathroom now? Jerry: Really? Kramer: Yeah, and you can forget about watching TV while you're eating. Jerry: I can? Kramer: Oh, yeah. You know why? Because it's dinner time. And you know what you do at dinner? Jerry: What? Kramer: You talk about your day. How was your day today? Did you have a good day today or a bad day today? Well, what kind of day was it? Well, I don't know. How about you? How was your day? Jerry: Boy. Kramer: It's sad, Jerry. It's a sad state of affairs. Jerry: I'm glad we had this talk. Kramer: Oh, you have no idea. Though an obviously exaggerated portrayal of married life, the two neighbors' dialogue does address some of the concerns I have been having lately about the loss of my freedom and the disruption of personal routines long held dear. It used to be that I'd get up in the morning, raise the blinds, relieve my bladder, wash up, and settle down to a peaceful and solitary bowl of cereal with some form of reading material or the Internet. That's the way I liked it. Just a quiet space to enjoy before going outside to the world. Now I can't do that. Now I have to include another person in that space, and in all the other spaces throughout the day. When I get back from work we have to eat supper together, and again we have to talk. I can't burp and fart anymore. I can't blast Rush from the speakers of my laptop. I can't idle away my evenings doing whatever I happen to feel like at the moment. I don't know. Are these sacrifices a guy makes? (I'm not denying there are rewards that come with them.) Perhaps a couple needs some distance in order to appreciate one another's companionship. Is that not a legitimate perspective? Note: The title of this thread (as I expect most people know) is an allusion to the Seinfeld episode "The Pool Guy": QUOTE GEORGE: Ah you have no idea of the magnitude of this thing. If she is allowed to infiltrate this world, then George Costanza as you know him, ceases to exist! You see, right now, I have Relationship George, but there is also Independent George. That's the George you know, the George you grew up with -- Movie George, Coffee shop George, Liar George, Bawdy George. JERRY: I, I love that George. GEORGE: Me too! And he's dying, Jerry! If Relationship George walks through this door, he will kill Independent George! A George, divided against itself, cannot stand! [Edited to change post icon.] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CanEHdian Posted September 23, 2005 Share Posted September 23, 2005 "I can't burp and fart anymore" WHY? Doesn't she do this too? Sometimes it Can be difficult living with the opposite sex..but just think the rewards that it can bring too Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alsgalpal Posted September 23, 2005 Share Posted September 23, 2005 Phys, there are some things that need to go, when you have a relationship, but you need to just be yourself. She should accept you as you are, and not try to change you. I am not very good with words, but I think you get what I am trying to say. There are things that she is probably giving up too, but they may be bad habits. I don't fart in front of anyone at all, (I don't even like to do it in front of myself) but that is just common courtesy. She should accept that you love Rush, and that you enjoy your time alone, we all need it from time to time. Its healthy for the relationship. Its a scary thing, to move in with someone. I think you are doing a brave thing. So, please, just be the kewl person you are, and don't let the relationship Phys take over the real Phys. Ok??? {{{{{{{hugs}}}}}} Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sullysue Posted September 23, 2005 Share Posted September 23, 2005 Physics, This is something new for you. It's a big step, so of course you have reservations. The best advise I can give you is to take it as it comes. Don't take it too seriously. Not yet, anyway. You're young, and it's possible that this won't be the last serious relationship you have. If this girl really cares about you, she will accept you warts and all. (Farts, burps, warts and all! ) That goes both ways, however. You can't expect that she won't have some annoying habits or likes and dislikes. Most importantly, don't keep your concerns to yourself. The worst thing you could do would be to fume over something that's annoying you without giving her the benefit of being aware of it. I am NOT the expert on healthy relationships. Just a few words of wisdom from someone who's been there. -SS p.s. If she breaks your heart, she has several New World Women to answer to. Good luck! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rickyrob Posted September 23, 2005 Share Posted September 23, 2005 These are some sacrifices you have to make in a relationship. Remember that you are now a 'partnership', and that going off doing your own thing all the time is not on any more. This is where most relationships fail....a lack of understanding of each-other's needs and an existence in each other's company, where you would be just as well living in different places. I can't give you much advice, because a lot of this you will have to learn yourself and experience of a relationship(s) will dictate how you view life in the future. A marriage is about being with each other, compromising, communicating and doing things together...not all the time, but there has to be something, or else it will just fizzle out into nothing and before you know it, its all over.....happened to me twice in the last 21 years. You really need to talk to her, and if neither of you can find a solution to the problem - well Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alsgalpal Posted September 23, 2005 Share Posted September 23, 2005 QUOTE (sullysue @ Sep 23 2005, 10:20 AM) p.s. If she breaks your heart, she has several New World Women to answer to. Indeed. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GhostGirl Posted September 23, 2005 Share Posted September 23, 2005 You have to maintain your own soul. Bottom line. You sacrifice that (even for the sake of a relationship that seems promising) and you're done for, to put it bluntly. Living with someone else necessitates a few adjustments out of courtesy, but also includes accepting the person for who they are, and sometimes you just gotta blast Rush. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Drumnut Posted September 23, 2005 Share Posted September 23, 2005 QUOTE (CanEHdian @ Sep 23 2005, 06:49 AM) "I can't burp and fart anymore" WHY? Doesn't she do this too? Sometimes it Can be difficult living with the opposite sex..but just think the rewards that it can bring too Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rickyrob Posted September 23, 2005 Share Posted September 23, 2005 QUOTE (CanEHdian @ Sep 23 2005, 03:49 PM) "I can't burp and fart anymore" WHY? Doesn't she do this too? Sometimes it Can be difficult living with the opposite sex..but just think the rewards that it can bring too I farted in front of Lilya when I was last over with her, and we spent the rest of the evening laughing and joking about it.....well, it just came out when I leaned forward Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Drumnut Posted September 23, 2005 Share Posted September 23, 2005 QUOTE (rickyrob @ Sep 23 2005, 09:27 AM) QUOTE (CanEHdian @ Sep 23 2005, 03:49 PM) "I can't burp and fart anymore" WHY? Doesn't she do this too? Sometimes it Can be difficult living with the opposite sex..but just think the rewards that it can bring too I farted in front of Lilya when I was last over with her, and we spent the rest of the evening laughing and joking about it.....well, it just came out when I leaned forward Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CanEHdian Posted September 23, 2005 Share Posted September 23, 2005 QUOTE (rickyrob @ Sep 23 2005, 01:27 PM)QUOTE (CanEHdian @ Sep 23 2005, 03:49 PM) "I can't burp and fart anymore" WHY? Doesn't she do this too? Sometimes it Can be difficult living with the opposite sex..but just think the rewards that it can bring too I farted in front of Lilya when I was last over with her, and we spent the rest of the evening laughing and joking about it.....well, it just came out when I leaned forward Did you say Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rickyrob Posted September 23, 2005 Share Posted September 23, 2005 QUOTE (CanEHdian @ Sep 23 2005, 07:05 PM) QUOTE (rickyrob @ Sep 23 2005, 01:27 PM)QUOTE (CanEHdian @ Sep 23 2005, 03:49 PM) "I can't burp and fart anymore" WHY? Doesn't she do this too? Sometimes it Can be difficult living with the opposite sex..but just think the rewards that it can bring too I farted in front of Lilya when I was last over with her, and we spent the rest of the evening laughing and joking about it.....well, it just came out when I leaned forward Did you say I did actually Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Slaine mac Roth Posted September 23, 2005 Share Posted September 23, 2005 QUOTE (physics23 @ Sep 23 2005, 02:39 PM) I can't burp and fart anymore. Just ask my wife about farts Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Digital Man Posted September 23, 2005 Share Posted September 23, 2005 It may be a lot different thanwhat you are used to but...That is why they call it "sharing" your life with someone. If she is the right woman none of the things you listed will really bother you. When it is right, you don't feel you are giving things up or losing them. When it is right none of these things matter, it works itself out.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dweezil Posted September 23, 2005 Share Posted September 23, 2005 f**k it! Dont do it Physics!! I'll never live with another person again. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Daylin Posted September 23, 2005 Share Posted September 23, 2005 QUOTE (dweezil @ Sep 23 2005, 05:04 PM) f**k it! Dont do it Physics!! I'll never live with another person again. Your Huck is the exception! FOR YOU!!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dweezil Posted September 23, 2005 Share Posted September 23, 2005 QUOTE (Daylin @ Sep 23 2005, 04:25 PM) QUOTE (dweezil @ Sep 23 2005, 05:04 PM) f**k it! Dont do it Physics!! I'll never live with another person again. Your Huck is the execption! FOR YOU!!!! Oh yeah.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Huck Posted September 23, 2005 Share Posted September 23, 2005 QUOTE (dweezil @ Sep 23 2005, 11:27 PM) QUOTE (Daylin @ Sep 23 2005, 04:25 PM) QUOTE (dweezil @ Sep 23 2005, 05:04 PM) f**k it! Dont do it Physics!! I'll never live with another person again. Your Huck is the execption! FOR YOU!!!! Oh yeah.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dweezil Posted September 23, 2005 Share Posted September 23, 2005 QUOTE (Huck @ Sep 23 2005, 04:55 PM) QUOTE (dweezil @ Sep 23 2005, 11:27 PM) QUOTE (Daylin @ Sep 23 2005, 04:25 PM) QUOTE (dweezil @ Sep 23 2005, 05:04 PM) f**k it! Dont do it Physics!! I'll never live with another person again. Your Huck is the execption! FOR YOU!!!! Oh yeah.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Huck Posted September 23, 2005 Share Posted September 23, 2005 QUOTE (dweezil @ Sep 23 2005, 11:56 PM) QUOTE (Huck @ Sep 23 2005, 04:55 PM) QUOTE (dweezil @ Sep 23 2005, 11:27 PM) QUOTE (Daylin @ Sep 23 2005, 04:25 PM) QUOTE (dweezil @ Sep 23 2005, 05:04 PM) f**k it! Dont do it Physics!! I'll never live with another person again. Your Huck is the execption! FOR YOU!!!! Oh yeah.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dweezil Posted September 23, 2005 Share Posted September 23, 2005 QUOTE (Huck @ Sep 23 2005, 05:37 PM) QUOTE (dweezil @ Sep 23 2005, 11:56 PM) QUOTE (Huck @ Sep 23 2005, 04:55 PM) QUOTE (dweezil @ Sep 23 2005, 11:27 PM) QUOTE (Daylin @ Sep 23 2005, 04:25 PM) QUOTE (dweezil @ Sep 23 2005, 05:04 PM) f**k it! Dont do it Physics!! I'll never live with another person again. Your Huck is the execption! FOR YOU!!!! Oh yeah.... Im getting dizzy following you around Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
yyzena Posted September 24, 2005 Share Posted September 24, 2005 Sweetheart ... only YOU can make the right decision, but please keep this in mind ... *Our individual needs change many times throughout the course of our lifetimes ... it takes a VERY special person to keep up with them and not give up when something better (or easier) comes along. *(I know I'm way ahead of you here, but) Please, please, please, do not decide to have children just because your significant other thinks 'it's the right thing to do'. You, not only as part of a couple, but as an individual person, have to be certain you want children as part of your life. *There are many things that are great about having a relationship, but there are just as many great things about being single. I don't know how old you are, dear, but my advice to you and anyone would be ... Date & have fun, but don't get married till 40. Good luck, friend! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Necromancer Posted September 24, 2005 Share Posted September 24, 2005 I got married at twenty, so i didn't have a normal bachelorhood. I went into a mature relationship at an immature age. We had four kids and it lasted a pretty wonderful 12 years. Then I was a bachelor as an adult for the first time in my life and that lasted for about five years. Then i met my CJ and we moved in together and I had the first real relationship of my life as an adult. Yeah, i had gotten used to living alone and doing what i wanted, but giving up burping and farting is easy when you compare it to the benefits of a healthy loving relationship. So commitment physics will have as much of a good life as independent physics. Work on the blasting your Rush tunes though. That could be a dealbreaker. LOL. Oh... and get some BEANO. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Grandpa Grizz Posted September 24, 2005 Share Posted September 24, 2005 I hate being in a relationship, and avoid it at all costs. Big pain in the rear. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ES-335 Posted September 24, 2005 Share Posted September 24, 2005 It is all part of growing ... as a person and couple ... if it doesn't work for the couple thing ... in the long run it will help you Physics!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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