"Ending A Text On A Wordless Note" Dedicated To A Wordy Forum I Belong To Still....

[RUSHHEAD666]

"Ending A Text On A Wordless Note"

 

 

I was at a prickly party on a "Sunless Saturday" night.

All alone, sucking down a beer and a dried out rib bone.

"On Fire" by Van Halen was playing in the background.

Another brew, another level of liquid courage raised up the bar in my brain.

The front door opened.

It was her.

The raspberry rain turned her blonde hair curly and cute.

I could smell her pheromones from across the randy room.

I instantly thought about Ian Anderson's heavy metal flute.

She came up to the bar and ordered some sweet tiki drink.

I decided to be a ginger gentleman, so I asked her if I could pick up the bill.

She said, "sure baby, thanks a lot. What's your name? My name is Jill.

I wanted to say that my name was Jack, but how silly would that be?

I responded, and told the girl that "My Name Is Earl." Yep you guessed it!

Just like that witty smitten sitcom!

Of course she laughed, yet gave me this sweet jagged smile.

I got really excited.

My brain was rapping faster than an EMINEM 8 million mile!

5 cocktails in I decided to ask her for her cell phone number.

I was really nervous but I was cool like a hothouse cucumber.

After I punched in her name and number I asked her if I could text her

on Sunday afternoon.

She said, "sure sweetie because I really have to go soon."

I gazed into her "Purple Haze" eyes.

My mind was lost into her crazy thighs.

I began to fantasize about her "Sweet Little Lies."

Fleetwood Mac was being played inside my hopeless head.

I stood up and gave Jill a fantastic hug.

She said, "Call Me" baby and let's go out!"

I instantly thought of Debbie Harry and had a shadow of doubt

Shoot through me like an arrow piecing my glass heart.

So when last call was made I went "Exit Stage Left" to the front door

And waited for my Uber.

Now being an over thinker isn't the best of things to be.

I'm a very confident man with hints of being a gifted grumpy goober.

So my Uber dropped me off in the front of my humble home.

I couldn't stop thinking about this curly haired blonde from downtown.

I took a quick shower and crawled into my bed.

I started to lucid dream with Jill inside my sugar plum head.

I woke up the next morning and turned on a very important Raider game.

I laid there in bed thinking about this girl I met in the raspberry rain.

So after the Raiders kicked the Patriots ass, I decided to grow some balls

And text this girl from the bar.

I was a bit nervous, but a simple sentence would be right on par.

So I sent her a text that read.... "Hey Jill, it's Earl, I would love to take you

Out for dinner some night."

The seconds turned to minutes.

The minutes turned to hours.

I became saddened and had to take a few cold showers.

After I wiped the hot water from my thin skin,

I decided to check out my iPhone after punching my password in.

I got this text from Jill!!!

I was so excited!

My heart was beating faster than a Russian Rocket that Putin has never ignited!!

But sadly when I woke up out of my blundering bliss.

I realized it was just an emoji response.

A smily face, a star, and a stupid generic smily face kiss.

 

Well? It was better than nothing or so they say.

Back to the drawing board of love I go.

I feel like that stupid high school mascot Brady Bunch goat!!

Finding true love in a bar is a useless task.

The head games we all play in the modern age.

Ending a text on a wordless note.

Edited December 13, 2016 by RUSHHEAD666

[treeduck]

"Ending A Text On A Wordless Note"

 

 

I was at a prickly party on a "Sunless Saturday" night.

All alone, sucking down a beer and a dried out rib bone.

"On Fire" by Van Halen was playing in the background.

Another brew, another level of liquid courage raised up the bar in my brain.

The front door opened.

It was her.

The raspberry rain turned her blonde hair curly and cute.

I could smell her pheromones from across the randy room.

I instantly thought about Ian Anderson's heavy metal flute.

She came up to the bar and ordered some sweet tiki drink.

I decided to be a ginger gentleman, so I asked her if I could pick up the bill.

She said, "sure baby, thanks a lot. What's your name? My name is Jill.

I wanted to say that my name was Jack, but how silly would that be?

I responded, and told the girl that "My Name Is Earl." Yep you guessed it!

Just like that witty smitten sitcom!

Of course she laughed, yet gave me this sweet jagged smile.

I got really excited.

My brain was rapping faster than an EMINEM 8 million mile!

5 cocktails in I decided to ask her for her cell phone number.

I was really nervous but I was cool like a hothouse cucumber.

After I punched in her name and number I asked her if I could text her

on Sunday afternoon.

She said, "sure sweetie because I really have to go soon."

I gazed into her "Purple Haze" eyes.

My mind was lost into her crazy thighs.

I began to fantasize about her "Sweet Little Lies."

Fleetwood Mac was being played inside my hopeless head.

I stood up and gave Jill a fantastic hug.

She said, "Call Me" baby and let's go out!"

I instantly thought of Debbie Harry and had a shadow of doubt

Shoot through me like an arrow piecing my glass heart.

So when last call was made I went "Exit Stage Left" to the front door

And waited for my Uber.

Now being an over thinker isn't the best of things to be.

I'm a very confident man with hints of being a gifted grumpy goober.

So my Uber dropped me off in the front of my humble home.

I couldn't stop thinking about this curly haired blonde from downtown.

I took a quick shower and crawled into my bed.

I started to lucid dream with Jill inside my sugar plum head.

I woke up the next morning and turned on a very important Raider game.

I laid there in bed thinking about this girl I met in the raspberry rain.

So after the Raiders kicked the Patriots ass, I decided to grow some balls

And text this girl from the bar.

I was a bit nervous, but a simple sentence would be right on par.

So I sent her a text that read.... "Hey Jill, it's Earl, I would love to take you

Out for dinner some night."

The seconds turned to minutes.

The minutes turned to hours.

I became saddened and had to take a few cold showers.

After I wiped the hot water from my thin skin,

I decided to check out my iPhone after punching my password in.

I got this text from Jill!!!

I was so excited!

My heart was beating faster than a Russian Rocket that Putin has never ignited!!

But sadly when I woke up out of my blundering bliss.

I realized it was just an emoji response.

A smily face, a star, and a stupid generic smily face kiss.

 

Well? It was better than nothing or so they say.

Back to the drawing board of love I go.

I feel like that stupid high school mascot Brady Bunch goat!!

Finding true love in a bar is a useless task.

The head games we all play in the modern age.

Ending a text on a wordless note.

Great stuff Earl!

 

All this thread needs now is a hellacious movie fight scene with real punches landed and no stunt doubles...

 

[Lucas]

I could smell her pheromones from across the randy room.

I instantly thought about Ian Anderson's heavy metal flute

 

That is untouchable

 

 

Bravo Earl

 

But was it all a dream ?? ... I mean, when was the last time the Raiders beat the Pats ??

 

[RUSHHEAD666]

"Ending A Text On A Wordless Note"

 

 

I was at a prickly party on a "Sunless Saturday" night.

All alone, sucking down a beer and a dried out rib bone.

"On Fire" by Van Halen was playing in the background.

Another brew, another level of liquid courage raised up the bar in my brain.

The front door opened.

It was her.

The raspberry rain turned her blonde hair curly and cute.

I could smell her pheromones from across the randy room.

I instantly thought about Ian Anderson's heavy metal flute.

She came up to the bar and ordered some sweet tiki drink.

I decided to be a ginger gentleman, so I asked her if I could pick up the bill.

She said, "sure baby, thanks a lot. What's your name? My name is Jill.

I wanted to say that my name was Jack, but how silly would that be?

I responded, and told the girl that "My Name Is Earl." Yep you guessed it!

Just like that witty smitten sitcom!

Of course she laughed, yet gave me this sweet jagged smile.

I got really excited.

My brain was rapping faster than an EMINEM 8 million mile!

5 cocktails in I decided to ask her for her cell phone number.

I was really nervous but I was cool like a hothouse cucumber.

After I punched in her name and number I asked her if I could text her

on Sunday afternoon.

She said, "sure sweetie because I really have to go soon."

I gazed into her "Purple Haze" eyes.

My mind was lost into her crazy thighs.

I began to fantasize about her "Sweet Little Lies."

Fleetwood Mac was being played inside my hopeless head.

I stood up and gave Jill a fantastic hug.

She said, "Call Me" baby and let's go out!"

I instantly thought of Debbie Harry and had a shadow of doubt

Shoot through me like an arrow piecing my glass heart.

So when last call was made I went "Exit Stage Left" to the front door

And waited for my Uber.

Now being an over thinker isn't the best of things to be.

I'm a very confident man with hints of being a gifted grumpy goober.

So my Uber dropped me off in the front of my humble home.

I couldn't stop thinking about this curly haired blonde from downtown.

I took a quick shower and crawled into my bed.

I started to lucid dream with Jill inside my sugar plum head.

I woke up the next morning and turned on a very important Raider game.

I laid there in bed thinking about this girl I met in the raspberry rain.

So after the Raiders kicked the Patriots ass, I decided to grow some balls

And text this girl from the bar.

I was a bit nervous, but a simple sentence would be right on par.

So I sent her a text that read.... "Hey Jill, it's Earl, I would love to take you

Out for dinner some night."

The seconds turned to minutes.

The minutes turned to hours.

I became saddened and had to take a few cold showers.

After I wiped the hot water from my thin skin,

I decided to check out my iPhone after punching my password in.

I got this text from Jill!!!

I was so excited!

My heart was beating faster than a Russian Rocket that Putin has never ignited!!

But sadly when I woke up out of my blundering bliss.

I realized it was just an emoji response.

A smily face, a star, and a stupid generic smily face kiss.

 

Well? It was better than nothing or so they say.

Back to the drawing board of love I go.

I feel like that stupid high school mascot Brady Bunch goat!!

Finding true love in a bar is a useless task.

The head games we all play in the modern age.

Ending a text on a wordless note.

Great stuff Earl!

 

All this thread needs now is a hellacious movie fight scene with real punches landed and no stunt doubles...

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S0igiQA5jvI

 

HAHAHA!!

 

Thank you my brother!!! Love it!!! Not stunt doubles needed!!

 

I wanted to paint a fictitious picture on a comical canvas showing the modern age dating scene.

 

I really don't know how the young generation does it.

 

I think dating SUCKS!

 

And hell!! I've succeeded actually!!!

 

I'm blessed despite cursed. That's for Johnny Blaze! Of course!

 

I was with the same woman for 21 years. 19 married. Two beautiful daughters.

I could live the rest of my life alone but I will truly never be alone.

I did have the chance to love.

I did reproduce to keep my bloodline alive.

That's the bottom line. As RATT would play!! LOL!

 

Fukk it!

 

So to the kids on here who read my R rated shite.

Doesn't matter. It's just writing in wonderful witty words.

 

Good luck finding real love out there in 2017!!!!

 

It's getting harder each and every day. JMO

 

I wanted to be married forever. I'm 48.

 

My mom and dad are happily married for 54 years. They are in Disneyworld together.

 

I need to take care of my parents and my girls.

 

And myself of course!!

 

 

Life is short.

 

GO DATE!

 

It's not just about fuckking!!!!

 

Then again, nature would disagree with me!!

 

Does true love exist on this planet?

 

Yes!

 

I totally believe it!

 

Sadly not all of humanity will ever achieve it's reality.

 

I came close.

 

"That's what she said............."

[RUSHHEAD666]

I could smell her pheromones from across the randy room.

I instantly thought about Ian Anderson's heavy metal flute

 

That is untouchable

 

 

Bravo Earl

 

But was it all a dream ?? ... I mean, when was the last time the Raiders beat the Pats ??

 

 

HAHAHA!!

 

Thank you my other brother from another mother!!! LOL!

 

FUCKK THE PATS!

 

Yes! They own us!

Had to throw it in.

 

A dream?

 

You mean more like a fuckking nightmare!!

 

Signed,

 

THE FUKK RULE

 

I mean...

 

TUCK RULE!!

 

 

A fukking rule that doesn't even exist anymore.

 

THANKS AL!

[Babycat]

"Ending A Text On A Wordless Note"

 

 

I was at a prickly party on a "Sunless Saturday" night.

All alone, sucking down a beer and a dried out rib bone.

"On Fire" by Van Halen was playing in the background.

Another brew, another level of liquid courage raised up the bar in my brain.

The front door opened.

It was her.

The raspberry rain turned her blonde hair curly and cute.

I could smell her pheromones from across the randy room.

I instantly thought about Ian Anderson's heavy metal flute.

She came up to the bar and ordered some sweet tiki drink.

I decided to be a ginger gentleman, so I asked her if I could pick up the bill.

She said, "sure baby, thanks a lot. What's your name? My name is Jill.

I wanted to say that my name was Jack, but how silly would that be?

I responded, and told the girl that "My Name Is Earl." Yep you guessed it!

Just like that witty smitten sitcom!

Of course she laughed, yet gave me this sweet jagged smile.

I got really excited.

My brain was rapping faster than an EMINEM 8 million mile!

5 cocktails in I decided to ask her for her cell phone number.

I was really nervous but I was cool like a hothouse cucumber.

After I punched in her name and number I asked her if I could text her

on Sunday afternoon.

She said, "sure sweetie because I really have to go soon."

I gazed into her "Purple Haze" eyes.

My mind was lost into her crazy thighs.

I began to fantasize about her "Sweet Little Lies."

Fleetwood Mac was being played inside my hopeless head.

I stood up and gave Jill a fantastic hug.

She said, "Call Me" baby and let's go out!"

I instantly thought of Debbie Harry and had a shadow of doubt

Shoot through me like an arrow piecing my glass heart.

So when last call was made I went "Exit Stage Left" to the front door

And waited for my Uber.

Now being an over thinker isn't the best of things to be.

I'm a very confident man with hints of being a gifted grumpy goober.

So my Uber dropped me off in the front of my humble home.

I couldn't stop thinking about this curly haired blonde from downtown.

I took a quick shower and crawled into my bed.

I started to lucid dream with Jill inside my sugar plum head.

I woke up the next morning and turned on a very important Raider game.

I laid there in bed thinking about this girl I met in the raspberry rain.

So after the Raiders kicked the Patriots ass, I decided to grow some balls

And text this girl from the bar.

I was a bit nervous, but a simple sentence would be right on par.

So I sent her a text that read.... "Hey Jill, it's Earl, I would love to take you

Out for dinner some night."

The seconds turned to minutes.

The minutes turned to hours.

I became saddened and had to take a few cold showers.

After I wiped the hot water from my thin skin,

I decided to check out my iPhone after punching my password in.

I got this text from Jill!!!

I was so excited!

My heart was beating faster than a Russian Rocket that Putin has never ignited!!

But sadly when I woke up out of my blundering bliss.

I realized it was just an emoji response.

A smily face, a star, and a stupid generic smily face kiss.

 

Well? It was better than nothing or so they say.

Back to the drawing board of love I go.

I feel like that stupid high school mascot Brady Bunch goat!!

Finding true love in a bar is a useless task.

The head games we all play in the modern age.

Ending a text on a wordless note.

 

Brilliant, Earl! :clap: :clap: :clap:

[RUSHHEAD666]

"Ending A Text On A Wordless Note"

 

 

I was at a prickly party on a "Sunless Saturday" night.

All alone, sucking down a beer and a dried out rib bone.

"On Fire" by Van Halen was playing in the background.

Another brew, another level of liquid courage raised up the bar in my brain.

The front door opened.

It was her.

The raspberry rain turned her blonde hair curly and cute.

I could smell her pheromones from across the randy room.

I instantly thought about Ian Anderson's heavy metal flute.

She came up to the bar and ordered some sweet tiki drink.

I decided to be a ginger gentleman, so I asked her if I could pick up the bill.

She said, "sure baby, thanks a lot. What's your name? My name is Jill.

I wanted to say that my name was Jack, but how silly would that be?

I responded, and told the girl that "My Name Is Earl." Yep you guessed it!

Just like that witty smitten sitcom!

Of course she laughed, yet gave me this sweet jagged smile.

I got really excited.

My brain was rapping faster than an EMINEM 8 million mile!

5 cocktails in I decided to ask her for her cell phone number.

I was really nervous but I was cool like a hothouse cucumber.

After I punched in her name and number I asked her if I could text her

on Sunday afternoon.

She said, "sure sweetie because I really have to go soon."

I gazed into her "Purple Haze" eyes.

My mind was lost into her crazy thighs.

I began to fantasize about her "Sweet Little Lies."

Fleetwood Mac was being played inside my hopeless head.

I stood up and gave Jill a fantastic hug.

She said, "Call Me" baby and let's go out!"

I instantly thought of Debbie Harry and had a shadow of doubt

Shoot through me like an arrow piecing my glass heart.

So when last call was made I went "Exit Stage Left" to the front door

And waited for my Uber.

Now being an over thinker isn't the best of things to be.

I'm a very confident man with hints of being a gifted grumpy goober.

So my Uber dropped me off in the front of my humble home.

I couldn't stop thinking about this curly haired blonde from downtown.

I took a quick shower and crawled into my bed.

I started to lucid dream with Jill inside my sugar plum head.

I woke up the next morning and turned on a very important Raider game.

I laid there in bed thinking about this girl I met in the raspberry rain.

So after the Raiders kicked the Patriots ass, I decided to grow some balls

And text this girl from the bar.

I was a bit nervous, but a simple sentence would be right on par.

So I sent her a text that read.... "Hey Jill, it's Earl, I would love to take you

Out for dinner some night."

The seconds turned to minutes.

The minutes turned to hours.

I became saddened and had to take a few cold showers.

After I wiped the hot water from my thin skin,

I decided to check out my iPhone after punching my password in.

I got this text from Jill!!!

I was so excited!

My heart was beating faster than a Russian Rocket that Putin has never ignited!!

But sadly when I woke up out of my blundering bliss.

I realized it was just an emoji response.

A smily face, a star, and a stupid generic smily face kiss.

 

Well? It was better than nothing or so they say.

Back to the drawing board of love I go.

I feel like that stupid high school mascot Brady Bunch goat!!

Finding true love in a bar is a useless task.

The head games we all play in the modern age.

Ending a text on a wordless note.

 

Brilliant, Earl! :clap: :clap: :clap:

 

Love you Baby!!

[Ancient Ways]

Great stuff Earl. Another good modern ending would have been "new phone, who dis?"

[JohnnyBlaze]

"Ending A Text On A Wordless Note"

 

 

I was at a prickly party on a "Sunless Saturday" night.

All alone, sucking down a beer and a dried out rib bone.

"On Fire" by Van Halen was playing in the background.

Another brew, another level of liquid courage raised up the bar in my brain.

The front door opened.

It was her.

The raspberry rain turned her blonde hair curly and cute.

I could smell her pheromones from across the randy room.

I instantly thought about Ian Anderson's heavy metal flute.

She came up to the bar and ordered some sweet tiki drink.

I decided to be a ginger gentleman, so I asked her if I could pick up the bill.

She said, "sure baby, thanks a lot. What's your name? My name is Jill.

I wanted to say that my name was Jack, but how silly would that be?

I responded, and told the girl that "My Name Is Earl." Yep you guessed it!

Just like that witty smitten sitcom!

Of course she laughed, yet gave me this sweet jagged smile.

I got really excited.

My brain was rapping faster than an EMINEM 8 million mile!

5 cocktails in I decided to ask her for her cell phone number.

I was really nervous but I was cool like a hothouse cucumber.

After I punched in her name and number I asked her if I could text her

on Sunday afternoon.

She said, "sure sweetie because I really have to go soon."

I gazed into her "Purple Haze" eyes.

My mind was lost into her crazy thighs.

I began to fantasize about her "Sweet Little Lies."

Fleetwood Mac was being played inside my hopeless head.

I stood up and gave Jill a fantastic hug.

She said, "Call Me" baby and let's go out!"

I instantly thought of Debbie Harry and had a shadow of doubt

Shoot through me like an arrow piecing my glass heart.

So when last call was made I went "Exit Stage Left" to the front door

And waited for my Uber.

Now being an over thinker isn't the best of things to be.

I'm a very confident man with hints of being a gifted grumpy goober.

So my Uber dropped me off in the front of my humble home.

I couldn't stop thinking about this curly haired blonde from downtown.

I took a quick shower and crawled into my bed.

I started to lucid dream with Jill inside my sugar plum head.

I woke up the next morning and turned on a very important Raider game.

I laid there in bed thinking about this girl I met in the raspberry rain.

So after the Raiders kicked the Patriots ass, I decided to grow some balls

And text this girl from the bar.

I was a bit nervous, but a simple sentence would be right on par.

So I sent her a text that read.... "Hey Jill, it's Earl, I would love to take you

Out for dinner some night."

The seconds turned to minutes.

The minutes turned to hours.

I became saddened and had to take a few cold showers.

After I wiped the hot water from my thin skin,

I decided to check out my iPhone after punching my password in.

I got this text from Jill!!!

I was so excited!

My heart was beating faster than a Russian Rocket that Putin has never ignited!!

But sadly when I woke up out of my blundering bliss.

I realized it was just an emoji response.

A smily face, a star, and a stupid generic smily face kiss.

 

Well? It was better than nothing or so they say.

Back to the drawing board of love I go.

I feel like that stupid high school mascot Brady Bunch goat!!

Finding true love in a bar is a useless task.

The head games we all play in the modern age.

Ending a text on a wordless note.

Great stuff Earl!

 

All this thread needs now is a hellacious movie fight scene with real punches landed and no stunt doubles...

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S0igiQA5jvI

 

HAHAHA!!

 

Thank you my brother!!! Love it!!! Not stunt doubles needed!!

 

I wanted to paint a fictitious picture on a comical canvas showing the modern age dating scene.

 

I really don't know how the young generation does it.

 

I think dating SUCKS!

 

And hell!! I've succeeded actually!!!

 

I'm blessed despite cursed. That's for Johnny Blaze! Of course!

 

I was with the same woman for 21 years. 19 married. Two beautiful daughters.

I could live the rest of my life alone but I will truly never be alone.

I did have the chance to love.

I did reproduce to keep my bloodline alive.

That's the bottom line. As RATT would play!! LOL!

 

Fukk it!

 

So to the kids on here who read my R rated shite.

Doesn't matter. It's just writing in wonderful witty words.

 

Good luck finding real love out there in 2017!!!!

 

It's getting harder each and every day. JMO

 

I wanted to be married forever. I'm 48.

 

My mom and dad are happily married for 54 years. They are in Disneyworld together.

 

I need to take care of my parents and my girls.

 

And myself of course!!

 

 

Life is short.

 

GO DATE!

 

It's not just about fuckking!!!!

 

Then again, nature would disagree with me!!

 

Does true love exist on this planet?

 

Yes!

 

I totally believe it!

 

Sadly not all of humanity will ever achieve it's reality.

 

I came close.

 

"That's what she said............."

Thanks for the nod! :cheers:

 

And good writing!

 

I'm still trying to sort out which parts of that fiction were swiped from your nonfiction.

 

Oh, and dating sucks if you're lucky!

[JohnnyBlaze]

Hey Earl! I found you! Here:

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZHs1XUF46YM&sns=em

 

[RUSHHEAD666]

Great stuff Earl. Another good modern ending would have been "new phone, who dis?"

Hahaha!! I love it AW!

[RUSHHEAD666]

"Ending A Text On A Wordless Note"

 

 

I was at a prickly party on a "Sunless Saturday" night.

All alone, sucking down a beer and a dried out rib bone.

"On Fire" by Van Halen was playing in the background.

Another brew, another level of liquid courage raised up the bar in my brain.

The front door opened.

It was her.

The raspberry rain turned her blonde hair curly and cute.

I could smell her pheromones from across the randy room.

I instantly thought about Ian Anderson's heavy metal flute.

She came up to the bar and ordered some sweet tiki drink.

I decided to be a ginger gentleman, so I asked her if I could pick up the bill.

She said, "sure baby, thanks a lot. What's your name? My name is Jill.

I wanted to say that my name was Jack, but how silly would that be?

I responded, and told the girl that "My Name Is Earl." Yep you guessed it!

Just like that witty smitten sitcom!

Of course she laughed, yet gave me this sweet jagged smile.

I got really excited.

My brain was rapping faster than an EMINEM 8 million mile!

5 cocktails in I decided to ask her for her cell phone number.

I was really nervous but I was cool like a hothouse cucumber.

After I punched in her name and number I asked her if I could text her

on Sunday afternoon.

She said, "sure sweetie because I really have to go soon."

I gazed into her "Purple Haze" eyes.

My mind was lost into her crazy thighs.

I began to fantasize about her "Sweet Little Lies."

Fleetwood Mac was being played inside my hopeless head.

I stood up and gave Jill a fantastic hug.

She said, "Call Me" baby and let's go out!"

I instantly thought of Debbie Harry and had a shadow of doubt

Shoot through me like an arrow piecing my glass heart.

So when last call was made I went "Exit Stage Left" to the front door

And waited for my Uber.

Now being an over thinker isn't the best of things to be.

I'm a very confident man with hints of being a gifted grumpy goober.

So my Uber dropped me off in the front of my humble home.

I couldn't stop thinking about this curly haired blonde from downtown.

I took a quick shower and crawled into my bed.

I started to lucid dream with Jill inside my sugar plum head.

I woke up the next morning and turned on a very important Raider game.

I laid there in bed thinking about this girl I met in the raspberry rain.

So after the Raiders kicked the Patriots ass, I decided to grow some balls

And text this girl from the bar.

I was a bit nervous, but a simple sentence would be right on par.

So I sent her a text that read.... "Hey Jill, it's Earl, I would love to take you

Out for dinner some night."

The seconds turned to minutes.

The minutes turned to hours.

I became saddened and had to take a few cold showers.

After I wiped the hot water from my thin skin,

I decided to check out my iPhone after punching my password in.

I got this text from Jill!!!

I was so excited!

My heart was beating faster than a Russian Rocket that Putin has never ignited!!

But sadly when I woke up out of my blundering bliss.

I realized it was just an emoji response.

A smily face, a star, and a stupid generic smily face kiss.

 

Well? It was better than nothing or so they say.

Back to the drawing board of love I go.

I feel like that stupid high school mascot Brady Bunch goat!!

Finding true love in a bar is a useless task.

The head games we all play in the modern age.

Ending a text on a wordless note.

Great stuff Earl!

 

All this thread needs now is a hellacious movie fight scene with real punches landed and no stunt doubles...

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S0igiQA5jvI

 

HAHAHA!!

 

Thank you my brother!!! Love it!!! Not stunt doubles needed!!

 

I wanted to paint a fictitious picture on a comical canvas showing the modern age dating scene.

 

I really don't know how the young generation does it.

 

I think dating SUCKS!

 

And hell!! I've succeeded actually!!!

 

I'm blessed despite cursed. That's for Johnny Blaze! Of course!

 

I was with the same woman for 21 years. 19 married. Two beautiful daughters.

I could live the rest of my life alone but I will truly never be alone.

I did have the chance to love.

I did reproduce to keep my bloodline alive.

That's the bottom line. As RATT would play!! LOL!

 

Fukk it!

 

So to the kids on here who read my R rated shite.

Doesn't matter. It's just writing in wonderful witty words.

 

Good luck finding real love out there in 2017!!!!

 

It's getting harder each and every day. JMO

 

I wanted to be married forever. I'm 48.

 

My mom and dad are happily married for 54 years. They are in Disneyworld together.

 

I need to take care of my parents and my girls.

 

And myself of course!!

 

 

Life is short.

 

GO DATE!

 

It's not just about fuckking!!!!

 

Then again, nature would disagree with me!!

 

Does true love exist on this planet?

 

Yes!

 

I totally believe it!

 

Sadly not all of humanity will ever achieve it's reality.

 

I came close.

 

"That's what she said............."

Thanks for the nod! :cheers:

 

And good writing!

 

I'm still trying to sort out which parts of that fiction were swiped from your nonfiction.

 

Oh, and dating sucks if you're lucky!

 

Hahaha! Hard to bullshit a bullshitter. There are some flashes of non fiction throughout. Jill is pure fiction. But her hair is that of my ex wife's. That's all I will give you.

[RUSHHEAD666]

Hey Earl! I found you! Here:

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZHs1XUF46YM&sns=em

 

You made my day amigo!!!

 

One of my all time favorite comedies ever made!!!

 

I am Rodney Dangerfield!

 

"NO RESPECT!"

 

 

LOL!!!!

 

I need to go "BACK TO SCHOOL" and learn how to date again!!!!

 

Glad I'm not having any luck dating. THAT MEANS I AM LUCKY!!!

[treeduck]

"Ending A Text On A Wordless Note"

 

 

I was at a prickly party on a "Sunless Saturday" night.

All alone, sucking down a beer and a dried out rib bone.

"On Fire" by Van Halen was playing in the background.

Another brew, another level of liquid courage raised up the bar in my brain.

The front door opened.

It was her.

The raspberry rain turned her blonde hair curly and cute.

I could smell her pheromones from across the randy room.

I instantly thought about Ian Anderson's heavy metal flute.

She came up to the bar and ordered some sweet tiki drink.

I decided to be a ginger gentleman, so I asked her if I could pick up the bill.

She said, "sure baby, thanks a lot. What's your name? My name is Jill.

I wanted to say that my name was Jack, but how silly would that be?

I responded, and told the girl that "My Name Is Earl." Yep you guessed it!

Just like that witty smitten sitcom!

Of course she laughed, yet gave me this sweet jagged smile.

I got really excited.

My brain was rapping faster than an EMINEM 8 million mile!

5 cocktails in I decided to ask her for her cell phone number.

I was really nervous but I was cool like a hothouse cucumber.

After I punched in her name and number I asked her if I could text her

on Sunday afternoon.

She said, "sure sweetie because I really have to go soon."

I gazed into her "Purple Haze" eyes.

My mind was lost into her crazy thighs.

I began to fantasize about her "Sweet Little Lies."

Fleetwood Mac was being played inside my hopeless head.

I stood up and gave Jill a fantastic hug.

She said, "Call Me" baby and let's go out!"

I instantly thought of Debbie Harry and had a shadow of doubt

Shoot through me like an arrow piecing my glass heart.

So when last call was made I went "Exit Stage Left" to the front door

And waited for my Uber.

Now being an over thinker isn't the best of things to be.

I'm a very confident man with hints of being a gifted grumpy goober.

So my Uber dropped me off in the front of my humble home.

I couldn't stop thinking about this curly haired blonde from downtown.

I took a quick shower and crawled into my bed.

I started to lucid dream with Jill inside my sugar plum head.

I woke up the next morning and turned on a very important Raider game.

I laid there in bed thinking about this girl I met in the raspberry rain.

So after the Raiders kicked the Patriots ass, I decided to grow some balls

And text this girl from the bar.

I was a bit nervous, but a simple sentence would be right on par.

So I sent her a text that read.... "Hey Jill, it's Earl, I would love to take you

Out for dinner some night."

The seconds turned to minutes.

The minutes turned to hours.

I became saddened and had to take a few cold showers.

After I wiped the hot water from my thin skin,

I decided to check out my iPhone after punching my password in.

I got this text from Jill!!!

I was so excited!

My heart was beating faster than a Russian Rocket that Putin has never ignited!!

But sadly when I woke up out of my blundering bliss.

I realized it was just an emoji response.

A smily face, a star, and a stupid generic smily face kiss.

 

Well? It was better than nothing or so they say.

Back to the drawing board of love I go.

I feel like that stupid high school mascot Brady Bunch goat!!

Finding true love in a bar is a useless task.

The head games we all play in the modern age.

Ending a text on a wordless note.

Great stuff Earl!

 

All this thread needs now is a hellacious movie fight scene with real punches landed and no stunt doubles...

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S0igiQA5jvI

 

HAHAHA!!

 

Thank you my brother!!! Love it!!! Not stunt doubles needed!!

 

I wanted to paint a fictitious picture on a comical canvas showing the modern age dating scene.

 

I really don't know how the young generation does it.

 

I think dating SUCKS!

 

And hell!! I've succeeded actually!!!

 

I'm blessed despite cursed. That's for Johnny Blaze! Of course!

 

I was with the same woman for 21 years. 19 married. Two beautiful daughters.

I could live the rest of my life alone but I will truly never be alone.

I did have the chance to love.

I did reproduce to keep my bloodline alive.

That's the bottom line. As RATT would play!! LOL!

 

Fukk it!

 

So to the kids on here who read my R rated shite.

Doesn't matter. It's just writing in wonderful witty words.

 

Good luck finding real love out there in 2017!!!!

 

It's getting harder each and every day. JMO

 

I wanted to be married forever. I'm 48.

 

My mom and dad are happily married for 54 years. They are in Disneyworld together.

 

I need to take care of my parents and my girls.

 

And myself of course!!

 

 

Life is short.

 

GO DATE!

 

It's not just about fuckking!!!!

 

Then again, nature would disagree with me!!

 

Does true love exist on this planet?

 

Yes!

 

I totally believe it!

 

Sadly not all of humanity will ever achieve it's reality.

 

I came close.

 

"That's what she said............."

Thanks for the nod! :cheers:

 

And good writing!

 

I'm still trying to sort out which parts of that fiction were swiped from your nonfiction.

 

Oh, and dating sucks if you're lucky!

 

Hahaha! Hard to bullshit a bullshitter. There are some flashes of non fiction throughout. Jill is pure fiction. But her hair is that of my ex wife's. That's all I will give you.

How is going Earl have you found yourself a couple of twin young blonde hot tarts to liven up the bedroom???

[RUSHHEAD666]

"Ending A Text On A Wordless Note"

 

 

I was at a prickly party on a "Sunless Saturday" night.

All alone, sucking down a beer and a dried out rib bone.

"On Fire" by Van Halen was playing in the background.

Another brew, another level of liquid courage raised up the bar in my brain.

The front door opened.

It was her.

The raspberry rain turned her blonde hair curly and cute.

I could smell her pheromones from across the randy room.

I instantly thought about Ian Anderson's heavy metal flute.

She came up to the bar and ordered some sweet tiki drink.

I decided to be a ginger gentleman, so I asked her if I could pick up the bill.

She said, "sure baby, thanks a lot. What's your name? My name is Jill.

I wanted to say that my name was Jack, but how silly would that be?

I responded, and told the girl that "My Name Is Earl." Yep you guessed it!

Just like that witty smitten sitcom!

Of course she laughed, yet gave me this sweet jagged smile.

I got really excited.

My brain was rapping faster than an EMINEM 8 million mile!

5 cocktails in I decided to ask her for her cell phone number.

I was really nervous but I was cool like a hothouse cucumber.

After I punched in her name and number I asked her if I could text her

on Sunday afternoon.

She said, "sure sweetie because I really have to go soon."

I gazed into her "Purple Haze" eyes.

My mind was lost into her crazy thighs.

I began to fantasize about her "Sweet Little Lies."

Fleetwood Mac was being played inside my hopeless head.

I stood up and gave Jill a fantastic hug.

She said, "Call Me" baby and let's go out!"

I instantly thought of Debbie Harry and had a shadow of doubt

Shoot through me like an arrow piecing my glass heart.

So when last call was made I went "Exit Stage Left" to the front door

And waited for my Uber.

Now being an over thinker isn't the best of things to be.

I'm a very confident man with hints of being a gifted grumpy goober.

So my Uber dropped me off in the front of my humble home.

I couldn't stop thinking about this curly haired blonde from downtown.

I took a quick shower and crawled into my bed.

I started to lucid dream with Jill inside my sugar plum head.

I woke up the next morning and turned on a very important Raider game.

I laid there in bed thinking about this girl I met in the raspberry rain.

So after the Raiders kicked the Patriots ass, I decided to grow some balls

And text this girl from the bar.

I was a bit nervous, but a simple sentence would be right on par.

So I sent her a text that read.... "Hey Jill, it's Earl, I would love to take you

Out for dinner some night."

The seconds turned to minutes.

The minutes turned to hours.

I became saddened and had to take a few cold showers.

After I wiped the hot water from my thin skin,

I decided to check out my iPhone after punching my password in.

I got this text from Jill!!!

I was so excited!

My heart was beating faster than a Russian Rocket that Putin has never ignited!!

But sadly when I woke up out of my blundering bliss.

I realized it was just an emoji response.

A smily face, a star, and a stupid generic smily face kiss.

 

Well? It was better than nothing or so they say.

Back to the drawing board of love I go.

I feel like that stupid high school mascot Brady Bunch goat!!

Finding true love in a bar is a useless task.

The head games we all play in the modern age.

Ending a text on a wordless note.

Great stuff Earl!

 

All this thread needs now is a hellacious movie fight scene with real punches landed and no stunt doubles...

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S0igiQA5jvI

 

HAHAHA!!

 

Thank you my brother!!! Love it!!! Not stunt doubles needed!!

 

I wanted to paint a fictitious picture on a comical canvas showing the modern age dating scene.

 

I really don't know how the young generation does it.

 

I think dating SUCKS!

 

And hell!! I've succeeded actually!!!

 

I'm blessed despite cursed. That's for Johnny Blaze! Of course!

 

I was with the same woman for 21 years. 19 married. Two beautiful daughters.

I could live the rest of my life alone but I will truly never be alone.

I did have the chance to love.

I did reproduce to keep my bloodline alive.

That's the bottom line. As RATT would play!! LOL!

 

Fukk it!

 

So to the kids on here who read my R rated shite.

Doesn't matter. It's just writing in wonderful witty words.

 

Good luck finding real love out there in 2017!!!!

 

It's getting harder each and every day. JMO

 

I wanted to be married forever. I'm 48.

 

My mom and dad are happily married for 54 years. They are in Disneyworld together.

 

I need to take care of my parents and my girls.

 

And myself of course!!

 

 

Life is short.

 

GO DATE!

 

It's not just about fuckking!!!!

 

Then again, nature would disagree with me!!

 

Does true love exist on this planet?

 

Yes!

 

I totally believe it!

 

Sadly not all of humanity will ever achieve it's reality.

 

I came close.

 

"That's what she said............."

Thanks for the nod! :cheers:

 

And good writing!

 

I'm still trying to sort out which parts of that fiction were swiped from your nonfiction.

 

Oh, and dating sucks if you're lucky!

 

Hahaha! Hard to bullshit a bullshitter. There are some flashes of non fiction throughout. Jill is pure fiction. But her hair is that of my ex wife's. That's all I will give you.

How is going Earl have you found yourself a couple of twin young blonde hot tarts to liven up the bedroom???

 

Hahaha! It's been a wild year but alas I am "Alone Again."

 

Love

 

DOKKEN

 

Some things are better left off a public forum..............

 

 

INVASION OF YOUR PRIVACY!

 

 

RATT

[treeduck]

"Ending A Text On A Wordless Note"

 

 

I was at a prickly party on a "Sunless Saturday" night.

All alone, sucking down a beer and a dried out rib bone.

"On Fire" by Van Halen was playing in the background.

Another brew, another level of liquid courage raised up the bar in my brain.

The front door opened.

It was her.

The raspberry rain turned her blonde hair curly and cute.

I could smell her pheromones from across the randy room.

I instantly thought about Ian Anderson's heavy metal flute.

She came up to the bar and ordered some sweet tiki drink.

I decided to be a ginger gentleman, so I asked her if I could pick up the bill.

She said, "sure baby, thanks a lot. What's your name? My name is Jill.

I wanted to say that my name was Jack, but how silly would that be?

I responded, and told the girl that "My Name Is Earl." Yep you guessed it!

Just like that witty smitten sitcom!

Of course she laughed, yet gave me this sweet jagged smile.

I got really excited.

My brain was rapping faster than an EMINEM 8 million mile!

5 cocktails in I decided to ask her for her cell phone number.

I was really nervous but I was cool like a hothouse cucumber.

After I punched in her name and number I asked her if I could text her

on Sunday afternoon.

She said, "sure sweetie because I really have to go soon."

I gazed into her "Purple Haze" eyes.

My mind was lost into her crazy thighs.

I began to fantasize about her "Sweet Little Lies."

Fleetwood Mac was being played inside my hopeless head.

I stood up and gave Jill a fantastic hug.

She said, "Call Me" baby and let's go out!"

I instantly thought of Debbie Harry and had a shadow of doubt

Shoot through me like an arrow piecing my glass heart.

So when last call was made I went "Exit Stage Left" to the front door

And waited for my Uber.

Now being an over thinker isn't the best of things to be.

I'm a very confident man with hints of being a gifted grumpy goober.

So my Uber dropped me off in the front of my humble home.

I couldn't stop thinking about this curly haired blonde from downtown.

I took a quick shower and crawled into my bed.

I started to lucid dream with Jill inside my sugar plum head.

I woke up the next morning and turned on a very important Raider game.

I laid there in bed thinking about this girl I met in the raspberry rain.

So after the Raiders kicked the Patriots ass, I decided to grow some balls

And text this girl from the bar.

I was a bit nervous, but a simple sentence would be right on par.

So I sent her a text that read.... "Hey Jill, it's Earl, I would love to take you

Out for dinner some night."

The seconds turned to minutes.

The minutes turned to hours.

I became saddened and had to take a few cold showers.

After I wiped the hot water from my thin skin,

I decided to check out my iPhone after punching my password in.

I got this text from Jill!!!

I was so excited!

My heart was beating faster than a Russian Rocket that Putin has never ignited!!

But sadly when I woke up out of my blundering bliss.

I realized it was just an emoji response.

A smily face, a star, and a stupid generic smily face kiss.

 

Well? It was better than nothing or so they say.

Back to the drawing board of love I go.

I feel like that stupid high school mascot Brady Bunch goat!!

Finding true love in a bar is a useless task.

The head games we all play in the modern age.

Ending a text on a wordless note.

Great stuff Earl!

 

All this thread needs now is a hellacious movie fight scene with real punches landed and no stunt doubles...

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S0igiQA5jvI

 

HAHAHA!!

 

Thank you my brother!!! Love it!!! Not stunt doubles needed!!

 

I wanted to paint a fictitious picture on a comical canvas showing the modern age dating scene.

 

I really don't know how the young generation does it.

 

I think dating SUCKS!

 

And hell!! I've succeeded actually!!!

 

I'm blessed despite cursed. That's for Johnny Blaze! Of course!

 

I was with the same woman for 21 years. 19 married. Two beautiful daughters.

I could live the rest of my life alone but I will truly never be alone.

I did have the chance to love.

I did reproduce to keep my bloodline alive.

That's the bottom line. As RATT would play!! LOL!

 

Fukk it!

 

So to the kids on here who read my R rated shite.

Doesn't matter. It's just writing in wonderful witty words.

 

Good luck finding real love out there in 2017!!!!

 

It's getting harder each and every day. JMO

 

I wanted to be married forever. I'm 48.

 

My mom and dad are happily married for 54 years. They are in Disneyworld together.

 

I need to take care of my parents and my girls.

 

And myself of course!!

 

 

Life is short.

 

GO DATE!

 

It's not just about fuckking!!!!

 

Then again, nature would disagree with me!!

 

Does true love exist on this planet?

 

Yes!

 

I totally believe it!

 

Sadly not all of humanity will ever achieve it's reality.

 

I came close.

 

"That's what she said............."

Thanks for the nod! :cheers:

 

And good writing!

 

I'm still trying to sort out which parts of that fiction were swiped from your nonfiction.

 

Oh, and dating sucks if you're lucky!

 

Hahaha! Hard to bullshit a bullshitter. There are some flashes of non fiction throughout. Jill is pure fiction. But her hair is that of my ex wife's. That's all I will give you.

How is going Earl have you found yourself a couple of twin young blonde hot tarts to liven up the bedroom???

 

Hahaha! It's been a wild year but alas I am "Alone Again."

 

Love

 

DOKKEN

 

Some things are better left off a public forum..............

 

 

INVASION OF YOUR PRIVACY!

 

 

RATT

Never mind Earl I've got a feeling 2017 will be your year! :cheers:

[JohnnyBlaze]

"Ending A Text On A Wordless Note"

 

 

I was at a prickly party on a "Sunless Saturday" night.

All alone, sucking down a beer and a dried out rib bone.

"On Fire" by Van Halen was playing in the background.

Another brew, another level of liquid courage raised up the bar in my brain.

The front door opened.

It was her.

The raspberry rain turned her blonde hair curly and cute.

I could smell her pheromones from across the randy room.

I instantly thought about Ian Anderson's heavy metal flute.

She came up to the bar and ordered some sweet tiki drink.

I decided to be a ginger gentleman, so I asked her if I could pick up the bill.

She said, "sure baby, thanks a lot. What's your name? My name is Jill.

I wanted to say that my name was Jack, but how silly would that be?

I responded, and told the girl that "My Name Is Earl." Yep you guessed it!

Just like that witty smitten sitcom!

Of course she laughed, yet gave me this sweet jagged smile.

I got really excited.

My brain was rapping faster than an EMINEM 8 million mile!

5 cocktails in I decided to ask her for her cell phone number.

I was really nervous but I was cool like a hothouse cucumber.

After I punched in her name and number I asked her if I could text her

on Sunday afternoon.

She said, "sure sweetie because I really have to go soon."

I gazed into her "Purple Haze" eyes.

My mind was lost into her crazy thighs.

I began to fantasize about her "Sweet Little Lies."

Fleetwood Mac was being played inside my hopeless head.

I stood up and gave Jill a fantastic hug.

She said, "Call Me" baby and let's go out!"

I instantly thought of Debbie Harry and had a shadow of doubt

Shoot through me like an arrow piecing my glass heart.

So when last call was made I went "Exit Stage Left" to the front door

And waited for my Uber.

Now being an over thinker isn't the best of things to be.

I'm a very confident man with hints of being a gifted grumpy goober.

So my Uber dropped me off in the front of my humble home.

I couldn't stop thinking about this curly haired blonde from downtown.

I took a quick shower and crawled into my bed.

I started to lucid dream with Jill inside my sugar plum head.

I woke up the next morning and turned on a very important Raider game.

I laid there in bed thinking about this girl I met in the raspberry rain.

So after the Raiders kicked the Patriots ass, I decided to grow some balls

And text this girl from the bar.

I was a bit nervous, but a simple sentence would be right on par.

So I sent her a text that read.... "Hey Jill, it's Earl, I would love to take you

Out for dinner some night."

The seconds turned to minutes.

The minutes turned to hours.

I became saddened and had to take a few cold showers.

After I wiped the hot water from my thin skin,

I decided to check out my iPhone after punching my password in.

I got this text from Jill!!!

I was so excited!

My heart was beating faster than a Russian Rocket that Putin has never ignited!!

But sadly when I woke up out of my blundering bliss.

I realized it was just an emoji response.

A smily face, a star, and a stupid generic smily face kiss.

 

Well? It was better than nothing or so they say.

Back to the drawing board of love I go.

I feel like that stupid high school mascot Brady Bunch goat!!

Finding true love in a bar is a useless task.

The head games we all play in the modern age.

Ending a text on a wordless note.

Great stuff Earl!

 

All this thread needs now is a hellacious movie fight scene with real punches landed and no stunt doubles...

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S0igiQA5jvI

 

HAHAHA!!

 

Thank you my brother!!! Love it!!! Not stunt doubles needed!!

 

I wanted to paint a fictitious picture on a comical canvas showing the modern age dating scene.

 

I really don't know how the young generation does it.

 

I think dating SUCKS!

 

And hell!! I've succeeded actually!!!

 

I'm blessed despite cursed. That's for Johnny Blaze! Of course!

 

I was with the same woman for 21 years. 19 married. Two beautiful daughters.

I could live the rest of my life alone but I will truly never be alone.

I did have the chance to love.

I did reproduce to keep my bloodline alive.

That's the bottom line. As RATT would play!! LOL!

 

Fukk it!

 

So to the kids on here who read my R rated shite.

Doesn't matter. It's just writing in wonderful witty words.

 

Good luck finding real love out there in 2017!!!!

 

It's getting harder each and every day. JMO

 

I wanted to be married forever. I'm 48.

 

My mom and dad are happily married for 54 years. They are in Disneyworld together.

 

I need to take care of my parents and my girls.

 

And myself of course!!

 

 

Life is short.

 

GO DATE!

 

It's not just about fuckking!!!!

 

Then again, nature would disagree with me!!

 

Does true love exist on this planet?

 

Yes!

 

I totally believe it!

 

Sadly not all of humanity will ever achieve it's reality.

 

I came close.

 

"That's what she said............."

Thanks for the nod! :cheers:

 

And good writing!

 

I'm still trying to sort out which parts of that fiction were swiped from your nonfiction.

 

Oh, and dating sucks if you're lucky!

 

Hahaha! Hard to bullshit a bullshitter. There are some flashes of non fiction throughout. Jill is pure fiction. But her hair is that of my ex wife's. That's all I will give you.

How is going Earl have you found yourself a couple of twin young blonde hot tarts to liven up the bedroom???

Earl has a couple of young twin blonde hot tarts in the bedroom for breakfast! For lunch, it's a triplet of insatiable brunettes. As for dinner, well...I hear it's a gauntlet of perversion with an assortment of babes

[Digital Dad]

Legit or not that was a good read.

[Verena]

Excellent text, Earl. Very well written. :clap:

 

Your fiction is quite convincible.

Edited December 14, 2016 by rhyv

[RUSHHEAD666]

"Ending A Text On A Wordless Note"

 

 

I was at a prickly party on a "Sunless Saturday" night.

All alone, sucking down a beer and a dried out rib bone.

"On Fire" by Van Halen was playing in the background.

Another brew, another level of liquid courage raised up the bar in my brain.

The front door opened.

It was her.

The raspberry rain turned her blonde hair curly and cute.

I could smell her pheromones from across the randy room.

I instantly thought about Ian Anderson's heavy metal flute.

She came up to the bar and ordered some sweet tiki drink.

I decided to be a ginger gentleman, so I asked her if I could pick up the bill.

She said, "sure baby, thanks a lot. What's your name? My name is Jill.

I wanted to say that my name was Jack, but how silly would that be?

I responded, and told the girl that "My Name Is Earl." Yep you guessed it!

Just like that witty smitten sitcom!

Of course she laughed, yet gave me this sweet jagged smile.

I got really excited.

My brain was rapping faster than an EMINEM 8 million mile!

5 cocktails in I decided to ask her for her cell phone number.

I was really nervous but I was cool like a hothouse cucumber.

After I punched in her name and number I asked her if I could text her

on Sunday afternoon.

She said, "sure sweetie because I really have to go soon."

I gazed into her "Purple Haze" eyes.

My mind was lost into her crazy thighs.

I began to fantasize about her "Sweet Little Lies."

Fleetwood Mac was being played inside my hopeless head.

I stood up and gave Jill a fantastic hug.

She said, "Call Me" baby and let's go out!"

I instantly thought of Debbie Harry and had a shadow of doubt

Shoot through me like an arrow piecing my glass heart.

So when last call was made I went "Exit Stage Left" to the front door

And waited for my Uber.

Now being an over thinker isn't the best of things to be.

I'm a very confident man with hints of being a gifted grumpy goober.

So my Uber dropped me off in the front of my humble home.

I couldn't stop thinking about this curly haired blonde from downtown.

I took a quick shower and crawled into my bed.

I started to lucid dream with Jill inside my sugar plum head.

I woke up the next morning and turned on a very important Raider game.

I laid there in bed thinking about this girl I met in the raspberry rain.

So after the Raiders kicked the Patriots ass, I decided to grow some balls

And text this girl from the bar.

I was a bit nervous, but a simple sentence would be right on par.

So I sent her a text that read.... "Hey Jill, it's Earl, I would love to take you

Out for dinner some night."

The seconds turned to minutes.

The minutes turned to hours.

I became saddened and had to take a few cold showers.

After I wiped the hot water from my thin skin,

I decided to check out my iPhone after punching my password in.

I got this text from Jill!!!

I was so excited!

My heart was beating faster than a Russian Rocket that Putin has never ignited!!

But sadly when I woke up out of my blundering bliss.

I realized it was just an emoji response.

A smily face, a star, and a stupid generic smily face kiss.

 

Well? It was better than nothing or so they say.

Back to the drawing board of love I go.

I feel like that stupid high school mascot Brady Bunch goat!!

Finding true love in a bar is a useless task.

The head games we all play in the modern age.

Ending a text on a wordless note.

Great stuff Earl!

 

All this thread needs now is a hellacious movie fight scene with real punches landed and no stunt doubles...

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S0igiQA5jvI

 

HAHAHA!!

 

Thank you my brother!!! Love it!!! Not stunt doubles needed!!

 

I wanted to paint a fictitious picture on a comical canvas showing the modern age dating scene.

 

I really don't know how the young generation does it.

 

I think dating SUCKS!

 

And hell!! I've succeeded actually!!!

 

I'm blessed despite cursed. That's for Johnny Blaze! Of course!

 

I was with the same woman for 21 years. 19 married. Two beautiful daughters.

I could live the rest of my life alone but I will truly never be alone.

I did have the chance to love.

I did reproduce to keep my bloodline alive.

That's the bottom line. As RATT would play!! LOL!

 

Fukk it!

 

So to the kids on here who read my R rated shite.

Doesn't matter. It's just writing in wonderful witty words.

 

Good luck finding real love out there in 2017!!!!

 

It's getting harder each and every day. JMO

 

I wanted to be married forever. I'm 48.

 

My mom and dad are happily married for 54 years. They are in Disneyworld together.

 

I need to take care of my parents and my girls.

 

And myself of course!!

 

 

Life is short.

 

GO DATE!

 

It's not just about fuckking!!!!

 

Then again, nature would disagree with me!!

 

Does true love exist on this planet?

 

Yes!

 

I totally believe it!

 

Sadly not all of humanity will ever achieve it's reality.

 

I came close.

 

"That's what she said............."

Thanks for the nod! :cheers:

 

And good writing!

 

I'm still trying to sort out which parts of that fiction were swiped from your nonfiction.

 

Oh, and dating sucks if you're lucky!

 

Hahaha! Hard to bullshit a bullshitter. There are some flashes of non fiction throughout. Jill is pure fiction. But her hair is that of my ex wife's. That's all I will give you.

How is going Earl have you found yourself a couple of twin young blonde hot tarts to liven up the bedroom???

 

Hahaha! It's been a wild year but alas I am "Alone Again."

 

Love

 

DOKKEN

 

Some things are better left off a public forum..............

 

 

INVASION OF YOUR PRIVACY!

 

 

RATT

Never mind Earl I've got a feeling 2017 will be your year! :cheers:

 

I LOVE YOU PAT!!!!!

[RUSHHEAD666]

"Ending A Text On A Wordless Note"

 

 

I was at a prickly party on a "Sunless Saturday" night.

All alone, sucking down a beer and a dried out rib bone.

"On Fire" by Van Halen was playing in the background.

Another brew, another level of liquid courage raised up the bar in my brain.

The front door opened.

It was her.

The raspberry rain turned her blonde hair curly and cute.

I could smell her pheromones from across the randy room.

I instantly thought about Ian Anderson's heavy metal flute.

She came up to the bar and ordered some sweet tiki drink.

I decided to be a ginger gentleman, so I asked her if I could pick up the bill.

She said, "sure baby, thanks a lot. What's your name? My name is Jill.

I wanted to say that my name was Jack, but how silly would that be?

I responded, and told the girl that "My Name Is Earl." Yep you guessed it!

Just like that witty smitten sitcom!

Of course she laughed, yet gave me this sweet jagged smile.

I got really excited.

My brain was rapping faster than an EMINEM 8 million mile!

5 cocktails in I decided to ask her for her cell phone number.

I was really nervous but I was cool like a hothouse cucumber.

After I punched in her name and number I asked her if I could text her

on Sunday afternoon.

She said, "sure sweetie because I really have to go soon."

I gazed into her "Purple Haze" eyes.

My mind was lost into her crazy thighs.

I began to fantasize about her "Sweet Little Lies."

Fleetwood Mac was being played inside my hopeless head.

I stood up and gave Jill a fantastic hug.

She said, "Call Me" baby and let's go out!"

I instantly thought of Debbie Harry and had a shadow of doubt

Shoot through me like an arrow piecing my glass heart.

So when last call was made I went "Exit Stage Left" to the front door

And waited for my Uber.

Now being an over thinker isn't the best of things to be.

I'm a very confident man with hints of being a gifted grumpy goober.

So my Uber dropped me off in the front of my humble home.

I couldn't stop thinking about this curly haired blonde from downtown.

I took a quick shower and crawled into my bed.

I started to lucid dream with Jill inside my sugar plum head.

I woke up the next morning and turned on a very important Raider game.

I laid there in bed thinking about this girl I met in the raspberry rain.

So after the Raiders kicked the Patriots ass, I decided to grow some balls

And text this girl from the bar.

I was a bit nervous, but a simple sentence would be right on par.

So I sent her a text that read.... "Hey Jill, it's Earl, I would love to take you

Out for dinner some night."

The seconds turned to minutes.

The minutes turned to hours.

I became saddened and had to take a few cold showers.

After I wiped the hot water from my thin skin,

I decided to check out my iPhone after punching my password in.

I got this text from Jill!!!

I was so excited!

My heart was beating faster than a Russian Rocket that Putin has never ignited!!

But sadly when I woke up out of my blundering bliss.

I realized it was just an emoji response.

A smily face, a star, and a stupid generic smily face kiss.

 

Well? It was better than nothing or so they say.

Back to the drawing board of love I go.

I feel like that stupid high school mascot Brady Bunch goat!!

Finding true love in a bar is a useless task.

The head games we all play in the modern age.

Ending a text on a wordless note.

Great stuff Earl!

 

All this thread needs now is a hellacious movie fight scene with real punches landed and no stunt doubles...

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S0igiQA5jvI

 

HAHAHA!!

 

Thank you my brother!!! Love it!!! Not stunt doubles needed!!

 

I wanted to paint a fictitious picture on a comical canvas showing the modern age dating scene.

 

I really don't know how the young generation does it.

 

I think dating SUCKS!

 

And hell!! I've succeeded actually!!!

 

I'm blessed despite cursed. That's for Johnny Blaze! Of course!

 

I was with the same woman for 21 years. 19 married. Two beautiful daughters.

I could live the rest of my life alone but I will truly never be alone.

I did have the chance to love.

I did reproduce to keep my bloodline alive.

That's the bottom line. As RATT would play!! LOL!

 

Fukk it!

 

So to the kids on here who read my R rated shite.

Doesn't matter. It's just writing in wonderful witty words.

 

Good luck finding real love out there in 2017!!!!

 

It's getting harder each and every day. JMO

 

I wanted to be married forever. I'm 48.

 

My mom and dad are happily married for 54 years. They are in Disneyworld together.

 

I need to take care of my parents and my girls.

 

And myself of course!!

 

 

Life is short.

 

GO DATE!

 

It's not just about fuckking!!!!

 

Then again, nature would disagree with me!!

 

Does true love exist on this planet?

 

Yes!

 

I totally believe it!

 

Sadly not all of humanity will ever achieve it's reality.

 

I came close.

 

"That's what she said............."

Thanks for the nod! :cheers:

 

And good writing!

 

I'm still trying to sort out which parts of that fiction were swiped from your nonfiction.

 

Oh, and dating sucks if you're lucky!

 

Hahaha! Hard to bullshit a bullshitter. There are some flashes of non fiction throughout. Jill is pure fiction. But her hair is that of my ex wife's. That's all I will give you.

How is going Earl have you found yourself a couple of twin young blonde hot tarts to liven up the bedroom???

Earl has a couple of young twin blonde hot tarts in the bedroom for breakfast! For lunch, it's a triplet of insatiable brunettes. As for dinner, well...I hear it's a gauntlet of perversion with an assortment of babes

 

HAHAHA! That's HOT Johnny Blaze!!! Perhaps one day!! I LOVE YOU TOO!

[RUSHHEAD666]

Legit or not that was a good read.

 

Jesus! I LOVE YOU TOO DD!

 

Thank you my friend.

[RUSHHEAD666]

Excellent text, Earl. Very well written. :clap:

 

Your fiction is quite convincible.

 

Love you too L!!!

 

My goal as a lame ass English Major was always to try to write something that was pure fiction but would fool the reader in believing it was just another not fiction reality.

 

I have never been to a RAVE. I don't do X. Or any of those shit drugs.

When I was in college I had asked to write a paper about something you have no knowledge of. But your goal was to convince the reader that it was real.

 

Hence my poem above. Some hits of reality but all superficial.

 

So anyway.....

 

I wrote a paper about going to a RAVE. Yet I would never in my life go to one.

 

I got an A on that paper.

 

Fun.

[JohnnyBlaze]

"Ending A Text On A Wordless Note"

 

 

I was at a prickly party on a "Sunless Saturday" night.

All alone, sucking down a beer and a dried out rib bone.

"On Fire" by Van Halen was playing in the background.

Another brew, another level of liquid courage raised up the bar in my brain.

The front door opened.

It was her.

The raspberry rain turned her blonde hair curly and cute.

I could smell her pheromones from across the randy room.

I instantly thought about Ian Anderson's heavy metal flute.

She came up to the bar and ordered some sweet tiki drink.

I decided to be a ginger gentleman, so I asked her if I could pick up the bill.

She said, "sure baby, thanks a lot. What's your name? My name is Jill.

I wanted to say that my name was Jack, but how silly would that be?

I responded, and told the girl that "My Name Is Earl." Yep you guessed it!

Just like that witty smitten sitcom!

Of course she laughed, yet gave me this sweet jagged smile.

I got really excited.

My brain was rapping faster than an EMINEM 8 million mile!

5 cocktails in I decided to ask her for her cell phone number.

I was really nervous but I was cool like a hothouse cucumber.

After I punched in her name and number I asked her if I could text her

on Sunday afternoon.

She said, "sure sweetie because I really have to go soon."

I gazed into her "Purple Haze" eyes.

My mind was lost into her crazy thighs.

I began to fantasize about her "Sweet Little Lies."

Fleetwood Mac was being played inside my hopeless head.

I stood up and gave Jill a fantastic hug.

She said, "Call Me" baby and let's go out!"

I instantly thought of Debbie Harry and had a shadow of doubt

Shoot through me like an arrow piecing my glass heart.

So when last call was made I went "Exit Stage Left" to the front door

And waited for my Uber.

Now being an over thinker isn't the best of things to be.

I'm a very confident man with hints of being a gifted grumpy goober.

So my Uber dropped me off in the front of my humble home.

I couldn't stop thinking about this curly haired blonde from downtown.

I took a quick shower and crawled into my bed.

I started to lucid dream with Jill inside my sugar plum head.

I woke up the next morning and turned on a very important Raider game.

I laid there in bed thinking about this girl I met in the raspberry rain.

So after the Raiders kicked the Patriots ass, I decided to grow some balls

And text this girl from the bar.

I was a bit nervous, but a simple sentence would be right on par.

So I sent her a text that read.... "Hey Jill, it's Earl, I would love to take you

Out for dinner some night."

The seconds turned to minutes.

The minutes turned to hours.

I became saddened and had to take a few cold showers.

After I wiped the hot water from my thin skin,

I decided to check out my iPhone after punching my password in.

I got this text from Jill!!!

I was so excited!

My heart was beating faster than a Russian Rocket that Putin has never ignited!!

But sadly when I woke up out of my blundering bliss.

I realized it was just an emoji response.

A smily face, a star, and a stupid generic smily face kiss.

 

Well? It was better than nothing or so they say.

Back to the drawing board of love I go.

I feel like that stupid high school mascot Brady Bunch goat!!

Finding true love in a bar is a useless task.

The head games we all play in the modern age.

Ending a text on a wordless note.

Great stuff Earl!

 

All this thread needs now is a hellacious movie fight scene with real punches landed and no stunt doubles...

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S0igiQA5jvI

 

HAHAHA!!

 

Thank you my brother!!! Love it!!! Not stunt doubles needed!!

 

I wanted to paint a fictitious picture on a comical canvas showing the modern age dating scene.

 

I really don't know how the young generation does it.

 

I think dating SUCKS!

 

And hell!! I've succeeded actually!!!

 

I'm blessed despite cursed. That's for Johnny Blaze! Of course!

 

I was with the same woman for 21 years. 19 married. Two beautiful daughters.

I could live the rest of my life alone but I will truly never be alone.

I did have the chance to love.

I did reproduce to keep my bloodline alive.

That's the bottom line. As RATT would play!! LOL!

 

Fukk it!

 

So to the kids on here who read my R rated shite.

Doesn't matter. It's just writing in wonderful witty words.

 

Good luck finding real love out there in 2017!!!!

 

It's getting harder each and every day. JMO

 

I wanted to be married forever. I'm 48.

 

My mom and dad are happily married for 54 years. They are in Disneyworld together.

 

I need to take care of my parents and my girls.

 

And myself of course!!

 

 

Life is short.

 

GO DATE!

 

It's not just about fuckking!!!!

 

Then again, nature would disagree with me!!

 

Does true love exist on this planet?

 

Yes!

 

I totally believe it!

 

Sadly not all of humanity will ever achieve it's reality.

 

I came close.

 

"That's what she said............."

Thanks for the nod! :cheers:

 

And good writing!

 

I'm still trying to sort out which parts of that fiction were swiped from your nonfiction.

 

Oh, and dating sucks if you're lucky!

 

Hahaha! Hard to bullshit a bullshitter. There are some flashes of non fiction throughout. Jill is pure fiction. But her hair is that of my ex wife's. That's all I will give you.

How is going Earl have you found yourself a couple of twin young blonde hot tarts to liven up the bedroom???

Earl has a couple of young twin blonde hot tarts in the bedroom for breakfast! For lunch, it's a triplet of insatiable brunettes. As for dinner, well...I hear it's a gauntlet of perversion with an assortment of babes

 

HAHAHA! That's HOT Johnny Blaze!!! Perhaps one day!! I LOVE YOU TOO!

The nightcap is when it really gets nasty! Trapeze! Midgets! The works!

[Verena]

Excellent text, Earl. Very well written. :clap:

 

Your fiction is quite convincible.

 

Love you too L!!!

 

My goal as a lame ass English Major was always to try to write something that was pure fiction but would fool the reader in believing it was just another not fiction reality.

 

I have never been to a RAVE. I don't do X. Or any of those shit drugs.

When I was in college I had asked to write a paper about something you have no knowledge of. But your goal was to convince the reader that it was real.

 

Hence my poem above. Some hits of reality but all superficial.

 

So anyway.....

 

I wrote a paper about going to a RAVE. Yet I would never in my life go to one.

 

I got an A on that paper.

 

Fun.

 

You're born connected with rock 'n roll and starry nights. All you have to do is gather your technical side, inspiration, interesting subjects and other elements. Your writing flows naturally. :)

 

---------------------------------------------------------------------

 

I had a similar experience when I was at highschool. Language & Grammar teacher asked the whole classroom to write a theatrical script. Everyone was in groups of three people each, except me. Our grades were between 1- 10.

Most groups got 7 or 8.

 

I wrote a dramatic novel alone and got a 7. :)

 

There were noisy, unquiet and misbehaved classmates. While most of them were uncontrolled during the study hour I was quietly in the middle of the class, writing and thinking. -- I used to translate favorite band's lyrics, try to write poetry and create texts. The result was a 82 page unfinished book for young people.

 

It was cool.

 

 

At college, I wrote about my artwork. I made four etchings and created an artist book with some texts at it. These texts were also drawings and the audience appreciated them a lot. There's also a small book about the artwork itself.

In the future I'll translate all these texts to English.

 

Nowadays still write on my artwork as imagery complement.

I'm thinking about posting this material at this section anytime. ;) :hi: